Got overtaken by a smallish car just outside town who actually clipped my jacket at 30mph. Scared the crap out of me. Caught up with him at the lights about a mile later. He knew he was too close, looked about 15 years old so I was about to question if he even had a license.I just pointed out that he clipped me coming down the hill.
His response was “calm down, Ive just come back from a funeral” My response of “you nearly got yourself an invite to another funeral, mine” didn’t go down too well with his kids in the back who then burst into tears screaming “i don’t want to go to another funeral!!!”. The gf/wife then got out of the car screaming at me “how dare you make my children cry”.. I rode off pretty fast… an angry mother is a scary sight.

I must be the worlds most placid cyclist, because I can’t say I ever get that wound up by drivers. Most of the time I’m feeling sorry for them.
I’d never square up to a tonne of steel, life’s too short.
Had a go at a few people in the street for speeding.

Skelped on the arse by the yoot and a hit and run by a BMW X5.

bearnecessities – Member
I once pulled up at the lights alongside a new Jag, and then fell on it.

That gave me a good chuckle! !

I’m a total wuss. First and foremost I have to say that. However being fairly tall and having a rather large scar on my noggin makes it easy to fake otherwise if I really have to. Last time I punched someone was at school when I’d had enough of being bullied. Just not the violent type.

That said I seem to attract “yoofs” while biking. Throwing food packaging, shouting stuff at me. Normal stuff really. I get enraged inside but let it go. Unfortunately I think everyone vents in the end.

A few years ago out on a country road I over take some yoof (plural) walking along the edge of the road. No foot path. Sure enough something gets thrown and his my back. Then I hear the running of one of them trying to catch me up, shooting stuff as he ran.

I really lost the plot at that point (for me anyway). I got off the mtb and threw it into the bushes at the side of the road. The lad then stopped and looked at me, his mates still walking along behind him, looking puzzled really.

Putting on my best fake “big mistake” look and voice I gave the lad a sharp lecture on his evident stupidity. He mumbled “sorry” which just got me more wound up to be honest.

Anyway, it ended with me making him kneel on the floor (not by force, I told him he had to, verbally) in front of me, with his mates looking on, and recite verbatim the words I told him he had to say to me to placate me. Which he did.

I then said he could stand up and catch up with his mates that had started walking on by this point.

As I got back on the bike and rode past him I shouted so his mates could hear “Have you got no back bone? I would NEVER let anyone do that to me, your a total gutless piece of ****.”

Actually felt pretty bad about that as soon as I’d done it. I’m not violent but I’m a cold, callous SOB on occasion when pushed.

Not a trait I like to nurture as I very strongly believe in karma.

There was the humorous one.
Land Rover Discovery squeezed past me through a pedestrian refuge, extremely unpleasant. I shouted some abuse and the driver stopped so I went to the door, still swearing. The driver was huge, I mean absolutely morbidly obese, spilling out of the seat and over the gear stick. I started laughing and the driver was yelling “don’t swear at me” so I replied “what are you gonna do – effing’ eat me?”

Glad the vast majority of my riding over the years has been done outside of rush hour TBH!

I’ve been on the end of it as a driver before. Just remember when your about to take somebody’s head off that we all make mistakes sometimes. I’m a cyclist who has made mistakes while driving. Also a driver whos made mistakes while riding. Never have they been deliberate.

I also always remember the story of a mate who was driving in London a few years back. Had a bit of a road rage incident. Bloke in the other car pulled out a gun. He said sorry and drove to the nearest police station. Just have to remember there are some proper nut jobs out there. Is it worth it?!

Last year was the worst one for me, on return to the cafe from a club run and we had been split up at a roundabout so there was a group of 3 of us left behind, traffic was heavy so it was slow going just gently filtering our way through the town, honestly 5-10mph stuff asit was so busy, then I overtook one car and as I got in front of her the traffic started moving a little so I just stayed in front of her and behind the car in front, no drama nice and normal but I became aware of shouting from behind, took a quick look back to see an irate young woman literally bouncing up and down in the drivers seat with rage yelling profanities at me, as the traffic slowed again We came to a stop and I turned round and asked what she was going on about.

She started yelling “get back on The side if the f’in road where you f’in belong you f’in piece of shit” and a few other variants of the same, I was actually a bit stunned ecause I’ve not come across someone quite that upset about a cyclist before.

As the car in front moved off again she revved really hard and tried to go around me, but there was a car coming the othe way which beeped at her so she swerved towards me, I was still standing still at this point but in a spur of the moment ‘you’re driving a car at me reaction’ I slapped her wing mirror, I still to this day don’t know if it broke or not as I didn’t see but she slammed on the brakes, stopped blocking both lanes to much hooting, jumped out of her car and came running over to me arms flailing and I’m not sure whether I’m proud or ashamed to say I just stood there getting punched in the face and slapped round the head by an angry woman, a few bystanders came over at this point and in between fits of yelling she pointed at me and uttered the immortal words ” I don’t know who you are but I’ll find you you f’in ****” the jumped I. He car and wheel spin away to join the traffic. It was only as she sped off that I noticed she also had her screaming daughter in the car, she behaved like that in front of her kids!

Suffice it to say next hour or so was spent in the police station giving statement, they did eventually track her down from reg. number provided by witness, she made up some story about me riding erratically and then punching her wing mirror unprovoked and asked for them to charge me with criminal damage!

Fortunately several witnesses had also reported seeing the event and supported my side of the story so that went nowhere but she got away with an official caution in the end.

Took 3 weeks before my neck and jaw were right again after being punched by a woman, not my finest hour but shudder to think how her kids are going to grow up if that’s normal for her.

On the humorous front, my drunken rides back to the station when I worked for one of the big 4 consulting firms (bit of a drinking culture to put it mildly) passed into legend. Once I ducked under a transit wing mirror and ran a red light. I never do it when sober but needed a wee 😉 Transit was mostly white with some blue bits and full of policemen.

After pulling me over, I was told ‘you do know sir, it’s an offence to be drunk in charge of a bicycle’ to which i responded ‘I’m not really in control of it’. Moment of silence followed by chucking in the van. They let me off but insisted I used the cycle path through the park.

Other time – Jag story reminded me – I was weaving between two lines of traffic on the mall outside buck palace and got caught on someone’s wing mirror. Was high summer and he had his window open. I leant in – all beery fumes and bonhomie – and apologised profusely. He seemed very keen to be somewhere else 😉

I sort of miss commuting in London. Only not really.

Oh and not a motorist. but this altercation was brilliant: http://pickled-hedgehog.com/?p=53 – funny how it went a bit viral and the lady in question was a very serious runner for the county. Made me feel a bit better about getting my arse handed to me 😉

Short version – threw my bike down in the middle of the road in front of a Golf and was screaming at the driver to “get out your car and fight me!”. He declined.

I had a full on stand up fistfight with a bolshy builder type who was shit at driving. He looked surprised when the smartly dressed bloke stuck him on his backside.
It wasn’t funny, in fact it was very, very stupid. It’s highly likely that I had a lot more to lose than he did and it’ll never happen again.
In fact, some bell-end went mental at me for no reason on the M5 yesterday. Laughing at the idiots makes them more angry so it seems.

Tried to talk to a Merc driver who had passed very close and fast on a country road just before a T junction onto a dual carriageway which he had to stop at.

He was very heated and as a result I didn’t pay attention to my road positioning and nearly got killed on the dual carriageway. To give him his due it was he who shouted at me ‘watch out!’.

I avoid anything other than B road riding like the plague now.

i have been told by to crazy women (in an audi) that they will kill me if they see me again, for being in what they think is their lane which took 4 sec out of the quality time they usually have at the red light, which is where i ended up next to them and the threats were made.
A few days later i found out they work for the company next to mine but guess they have not seen me since.

Left my bike blocking a womans car on a singletrack country road while I screamed at her through her passenger window. All the while her husband stared straight a head not saying a word.

The road was too narrow to overtake so she held the horn on for the best part of 200 meters. When questioned “WHAT THE **** DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING??” She replied “I wanted you to get out of the way”. That’s when the rest mist really descended. Not even sure what I was saying after that.

Some absolute pearlers here! Cheered me up this morning.

Just remember when your about to take somebody’s head off that we all make mistakes sometimes

I think this is a good point. But, most of the aggression I face is from people who have not patience and don’t like having to wait behind for a couple of seconds whilst I cycle in the middle of the road to prevent them passing.

I get exasperated with mistakes, but I understand that having done it myself.

It’s the people who deliberately dish out aggro just because they think you are somehow less than they are, because you are on a bike. They piss me off.

I can’t understand how they think that way. After all there’s every chance I am also a motorist as well as a cyclist.

In fact, some bell-end went mental at me for no reason on the M5 yesterday

In fairness, you probably shouldn’t have been cycling there.

I’ve used the ‘F’ word quite often, but mostly in a passive-aggressive sort of way.

Otherwise, I do shout at people for speeding when they are going in the other direction, in the hope that they will read my lips but not have any possibility of turning around and catching me. 😳

The road was too narrow to overtake so she held the horn on for the best part of 200 meters. When questioned “WHAT THE **** DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING??” She replied “I wanted you to get out of the way”. That’s when the rest mist really descended. Not even sure what I was saying after that.

I totally sympathise with you there. That kind of intellectual vacancy would probably push me over the edge.

@davidtaylforth, that’s true. But I also think a lot of it is down to drivers not understanding what the cyclist is doing. Your example of ridding in the middle of the road is a classic. Used to wind my Mrs up until I explained to her why they do it. Now she’s fine with it. Unfortunately do many drivers are not interested in listening to our point of view.

My scariest driving incident involved a road ridding group one Sunday morning. A nice long straight so decided to overtake. At which point they must have hit their strava markers do sped right up to a sprint. Also filling the nice gap half way down the line of them. Resulted in me having to break suddenly as I would not get past before the corner up in the distance…and yes there was a car coming round the corner. Got all sorts of things shouted at me. So like I said, there are idiots on both sides. Oh, and don’t get me started on students ridding at night with no lights!

I’ve been keistering cassette rings to use as shuriken since I was a young ‘un.

i got rammed a few years ago here in Munich…. pootling to the ice cream parlour, a lady was hugging the GF’s tyre. i turned around, glared and shooed her away. on e the next bend she over took leaving not much more than a gnat’s cock between her wing mirror and my handlebar.
this pissed me off.
caught her as she was turning onto the main road, i got in front and skidded to a stop about 5m in front of her(bear in mind, this was rush hour and lots of people around). i wanted to point out to her how close she has passed me. however, she thought that revving the engine, letting in the clutch and driving at me. fortunately i managaed to dive at just the right time…. the bike went flying across the road. i started smashing on her window until the GF told me to step away.
ended up taking her to a cash point and getting her to pay out or else i’d have her before the courts…. read all the details HERE if you want…..

have hit a few cars before in town, but always turned off before they could turn ther car around….

when guiding on Gran Can, we had one Austrian guide who was known to us as “Addi”, as in Adolf. he was known as having a bit of a temper, but on the whole was a good guy.

one day he came back from a tour absolutely fuming…. turned out that his group had nearly been wiped out by some guy at a roundabout. he followed this guy (with his group in-tow) to a car park. he begun shouting at the guy in Spanish. when the guy stood there stuttering, obviously not understanding anything, Addi asked “Bist du Deutsch?”, “Ja” came the reply. So Addi smacked him square in the face and floored the guy.
viewing his headcam footage was fun until we thought it better he get rid of the evidence…

I’m really not proud of altercations on the road. I tend to find being disinterested and shrugging at the angries on the road is the best response, although I’ve not always been like this.

Again, something I’m not proud of.

I had a guy wind down his window screaming at me for being held up in traffic. Proper foaming at the mouth type. I started edging ever closer to his car (we were both moving at a reasonable pace) as he was looking at me leaning out of his window yelling. He was too busy yelling at me to look where he was going, I almost edged him into the coming traffic island in a head on.

Full emergency stop. A split second later he would have hit it hard.

I’m not the malicious type and I felt super guilty about it afterwards.

I’m crap at this game..

Other than a raised hand and a dismayed look, with maybe an occasional **** hand signal if someone passes tooo close, I tend to just get on with my day

she held the horn on for the best part of 200 meters. When questioned “WHAT THE **** DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING??” She replied “I wanted you to get out of the way”.

I was riding to work one morning when a bloke came up behind me on the approach to humpback bridge and beeped his horn. I ignored it. He overtook, saw the car coming the other way and side-swiped me into the gutter. He stopped while making unimpressed gestures/grunts, I rode round him. He sped up again so I hopped onto the pavement out of his way. He stopped his car and came running out, knocked me to the floor and punched in the head a load of times for ‘kicking his car’.

I reported it to the police. He did too, went to a police station, said “there was a cyclist in the road. I beeped my horn but he didn’t get out the way so I punched him”. Police decided that with two witnesses and helmet cam (I was obviously asking for it!) footage that it wasn’t serious so made him write me a letter saying “I’m sorry that we bumped into each other”. That showed him.

Also got accused of slander by a lorry driver. 😆 I reported him to his company for a terrible overtake in the face of oncoming traffic. I only avoided being dragged under the back wheels of the trailer because I was paying attention. I was waving an arm and shouting “NOOOO” when I heard and saw the overtake start because I could see the oncoming car. I dived left as soon as the cab passed me. The company replied with something along the lines of “a difficult situation developed and Geoff dealt with it well by avoiding the oncoming car”. This was a car doing less than 40mph, on a flat, straight road, in broad daylight. There was only a “situation” because the lorry driver overtook at a stupid time. I ended up stationary with my wheels against the kerb and the wheels of the lorry passing 6 inches to my right at 30+ mph.

He saw me on the same road a few weeks later and he wanted to sue me for slandering him to his company. I refused to give him my details but gave him my british cycling membership number and told him to speak to ‘my’ legal team if he had a problem. 😆

The ones that make me really angry are the ones that just show complete indifference. Bloke in a Range Rover barged past me with <1ft of space while cutting across to the left a couple of weeks ago. Then immediately hit the brakes for a red traffic light. I was next to him at the lights and tapped on the window to say “that was a bit close mate”. He glanced at me and then went back to the middle distance stare dead ahead. I was next to him for 30 seconds or longer and he was just trying to pretend I wasn’t there. If you’ve made a mistake then put your hands up and say “sorry”. If you’re a psycho then I can kind of understand the “get out the way maggot, I’ll f****** kill you!” reaction. But the “I’ve just nearly killed someone. Meh. I didn’t actually kill him, what’s he moaning about ” response is just infuriating.

I must be the worlds most placid cyclist,

Fight you for it!

I’d never square up to a tonne of steel, life’s too short.

This really, I can’t really remember any properly shouty confrontations. I’ve banged on the sides of vans a couple of times but nothing has come of it. Probably luckily, because I think in scenarios like that the likelihood of an escalation that could work out very badly for me is infinitely higher than that of an apology, or some realisation or acknowledgement of crap driving or general bell-endery.

When you’re vulnerable it’s just not worth it.

Driver of an Audi A3 and I exchanged words, I chased him through the village, then I turned off into the pub.

He’d stopped, and was chatting to my mates by the pub entrance. When I walked around, he got out the car and things escalated quite quickly.

He got a Police caution for assaulting me by pushing me through a hedge.

I’ve only ever lost it once since, when a car squeezed past me driving along a bus and cycle lane – the A52 for those that know Nottingham. He got some abuse and hand gestures. He then pulled into a side road, waited till I’d gone past and then repeated the manoeuvre.

I pulled over, sat down on the pavement and had a quiet 5 minutes wishing I’d got his number plate.

And there was also the time a passenger in a car on the A6 threw cans of Carling at me as well as a volley of homophobic abuse. I was more hurt by the grief I got on here afterwards for suggesting that I had brought it on myself by riding a road bike and wearing lycra! 😐

in scenarios like that the likelihood of an escalation that could work out very badly for me is infinitely higher than that of an apology, or some realisation or acknowledgement of crap driving or general bell-endery.

I try to let stuff go, and normally do, but when the consequences of someone else’s choice to be selfish are so high it’s hard not to let it get to me. The only time i’ve had any physical contact with a motorist is the bridge story above, when I didn’t do a single thing to antagonise him (other than be on the road). Most of the time it’s either “sorry, I didn’t mean to” or “ah, **** off”.

Edit: Second closest to physical contact was a van driver who overtook me through a small roundabout and swiped me off it (we were both going straight, he used the right turn only lane to get next to me, then carried me off the RAB and tried to fight me for hitting his van).

And third closest was a guy who was perfectly civil out of his car, but didn’t like me filtering. I stopped in front of him in a queue at a roundabout. He then drove about a foot behind me. My right heel was hitting his front passsenger side bumper as I pedalled. He didn’t back off until i booted the front of his car. There was no room for me to pull over and let him through, and if I’d braked he would have hit me.

I pulled into a layby 100m up the road to let him through. He pulled over too. He was annoyed because he’d left the gap in front of his car for the learner driver that he was following, not for me. So I shouldn’t have taken the space. So he tried to physically push me off the road 😕

Just a note – for all you heros that give someone a kicking, it does work both ways.

I was driving to a race and was royally cut up by someone in an X5. Got to a set of lights, jumped out my car with track pump in hand (god knows what I thought I was going to do with it) only to be faced by a veritable man mountain getting out the X5. He looked at me, I looked at him – he gave me the universal sign for ‘come on then’ and I responded with the universal sign for ‘clearly there has been some mistake here sir, I’m going to return to my vehicle and hide behind the steering wheel until you go on your merry way’. He smiled and replied ‘yeah, thought so’. I felt a bit silly.

The times where I have lost it, I’ve always deeply regretted it afterwards. Especially when the bloke I was about to get stuck into apologised over and over again until I just felt like a knob for shouting.

These days I just shout to let someone know I’m there and if they get wound up then its their problem. I’d rather get home in one piece than get ‘shanked’ because I was in the right.

brooess – Member

Never got into a full argument – the beauty of being on a bike is that you can get away from idiots faster than they can run

At traffic lights, I once banged the side of a car – can’t remember why now – and the driver shouted at me not to because his kids were in the car. So far, so normal, but he got out of the car to have a fight, I edged forward down the queue of traffic. He followed, still ranting. I edge forward again, he followed and then realised I could play a game. How far could I lure the driver away from his car before the lights changed. All the way down into the middle of the junction, it turned out. About 10 cars, from memory. Great dad, leaving his car and kids abandoned so he could fight. 😆

Those of you that resort to violence does it only happen on a bike or are you up for fisticuffs in non cycling situations?
Been knocked off a few times and always too shook up to do anything about it. Close calls I just call them rude names and cycle off.

Which reminds me – I had a bloke yell ‘what sort of f’kin example is that to set you ****t’ after I’d jumped up onto the pavement to get out the way of some traffic (I was completely in the wrong to be fair). Which would have been a fair point had he not had his kids in the back. Obviously poor riding should be dealt with but colourful language is fine

Just a note – for all you heros that give someone a kicking, it does work both ways.

I think you’re probably right. Although it’s possible to have a good idea who’s gonna give you a hiding by the car they’re driving I think.

THe last chap I had a proper word with the other week was in a new ford fiesta – definitely not a hard mans car. Passed way too close and then had to stop for a bus so I caught him.

Tapped on his window (which he wound down) and I told him he shouldva given me more room:

“well, you shouldn’t be cycling in the middle of the road then”

“I’m David Taylforth; I cycle where I want”

See ya, bye.

I suspect the internet means the stories are embellished

Worst one i had a truck fail to give way at one of those traffic calming measures and as there was no escape route i had to cut across him and they were forced to slam on.

They then got out and shouted at me. I pointed to the sign saying they had to give way they called me nasty names and said they would kill me. I suggested we run around his truck till you have a heart attack you fat bastard. this did not calm the situation, I then cycled off

I’ve had my usual share of incidents on the bike and in the car, and i’ve never hit anyone or been hit – yet! But it has got very very close at times, and i’m not proud of it. On the bike I have made a conscious effort to try (emphasis on ‘try’ – it doesn’t always work) not to overreact to smaller stuff like close passes. I give a shake of the head or opened palmed ‘what was that?’ gesture, which being less offensive I think helps to stop it escalating. As the vulnerable party on a bike, i’m (to a point) happy to let stuff go so I don’t get involved in something where I can easily get hurt, like being rammed by a car. If I do shout I try not to swear, again thinking it helps not to escalate, and tend to do it if I have an escape route!

I recently had a car road rage incident where the guy pulled in and confronted me face to face calling me a c**t many times and threatening to hit me many times. I didn’t swear at him or threaten him in return, but was ready to defend myself if necessary, and I didn’t back down on him being totally in the wrong. The point was that as much as I wanted to hit him and as close to rage as I was, I knew it would be a brief satisfaction with long term consequences. And it’s worth remembering that. Having a record/caution for assault would not be good for my employment prospects, nor probably for my relationship either.

I think that in incidents which have caused injury or very near misses, shock is the prevailing emotion and sheer self-preservation is what matters. In this way road rage is a kind of luxury, because nobody is injured and people have the space to vent their anger. All easier said than done though!

It amuses me how laughing at irate motorists often makes them explode with rage, so I do, every time the opportunity presents itself! Also sticking your tongue out at them has a similar effect, or blowing a kiss to a WVM or some tracksuited yob.

I’ve claimed a number of wing-mirrors on the roadie by way of retribution, but these were deliberate retributive acts, not emotional reactions. The one time the red mist came down was the kicking I dished out to the driver who knocked me off my old Vespa. He’d cartwheeled me over the bonnet but I wasn’t hurt much, and before he’d even so much as opened his drivers door I’d done it for him, and then dished it out to him while he sat in his car whimpering. I’m not in the least bit sorry.

One of the other lads here got knocked off once – picked up his bike, wheeled it to the side of the road, went to talk to the driver who was still sat in his car but had wound his window down, and knocked him spark out. Then got back on his bike and rode off!

If all drivers knew that this is what potentially awaits them if they knock someone off then cars might be driven more considerately! Not everyone’s in a position to dish it out though. Sadly.

If all drivers knew that this is what potentially awaits them if they knock someone off then cars might be driven more considerately! Not everyone’s in a position to dish it out though. Sadly.

😀

I don’t think I’d be comfortable “dishing it out” to someone who’d knocked me off my bike though. The last time I got knocked off my bike was by a youngish woman who I think saw me but decided she had time to make the turn.

Genuine error; she was clearly upset. She also hung around for the police to turn up, whilst a nice shop keeper came out and mopped up my blood for me. It was all very civilized.

Yes, it depends upon the circumstances of course – and the contrition shown by the offender. In both of the examples I gave above myself and my colleague kicked off out of sheer indignation, because while we’d been bowled over the road, managed to get to our feet and approach the vehicles, the drivers hadn’t deigned to so much as open their bloody doors!

a long long long time ago i had a swearing/cutting up battle with a Post Office van driver around the one-way system in Norwich, can’t remember how it started but it went on for quite a while, aided by the fact it was a van with a sliding driver’s door left open so insults were free and easy to exchange

the driver took the opportunity of me slowing down a bit to turn right to where i needed to get to by jumping out of his van (again, sliding door helping matters here) haul me off my bike and before i know it have me by the neck up against the wall, feet off the ground

i remembering thinking that things hadn’t gone well

there was more shouting but luckily the rapidly forming crowd saw him cease his actions and get back into his van, whilst i got the names of willing crowd members as witnesses

a strongly worded letter to the Post Office followed and then a knock on the door some weeks later by the van driver asking for me to tell his employees that he didn’t need to lose his job over his actions, i declined his request being young and full of hate and somehow my house wasn’t fire-bombed or have any dog turds posted through the letterbox

i’ve had plenty others, but that’s prob the best