Dear Singletrackworld,
I just had to write and tell you about an amazing experience I had the other day.
It was a normal evening at home. My wife was in the kitchen with her best friend, Susie. I was sitting quietly in my armchair, staring into space – perhaps dribbling a little – when, without warning, Susie suddenly leapt onto my lap, wriggled around, and then gave me the the most forceful and passionate French kiss I have ever experienced. I was shocked and confused. I pushed her away, to see her long brown hair shining in the light of the broken laptop screen. Her large brown eyes were moist and filled with a look of pure love and adoration. My wife then appeared in the doorway with a stern expression. Susie was obviously excited to see that she was holding a collar and lead.
“Walkies” she said.
Susie was taken outside to do her business, while I went to brush my teeth. Susie is a daschund, so apologies to any readers who had already started fapping. Unless you are German or something. But this is the closest I get to eroticism these days.
Love,
Squidlord
PS: I am disgusted by the filth you allow to appear on your website these days. (See above). Please cancel my subscription immediately. I don’t have one, but please send me a cheque for 45 quid immediately anyway. Oh, and a t-shirt and maybe a mug. Those stem-mounted compasses are nice too. Thanks.
😉
