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Your summary of films you've never seen

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My Left Foot

Never seen it - not really interested in a prequel to Treasure Island or Long John Silver's origin story.

Tell us all about the films you haven't bothered to watch but can guess what they're about.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 3:06 pm
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Saw #1 - #24
Made by(and for) a group of teenagers that like woodwork and torture.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 3:11 pm
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Boat sinks, most people die.

Titanic. Never seen it, never will.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 3:12 pm
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I strongly suspect that there are more films I haven't seen than I have seen, but one I haven't is Forrest Gump.
Really don't need to see Tom Hanks over acting his way through another film. Especially one where he plays a mentally deficient bloke.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 3:17 pm
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Titanic. Never seen it, never will.

Its a happier story if you watch it in reverse - whole bunch of people drowning in a frozen sea, when miraculously a luxury liner pops up from nowhere, rescues everyone and sails them all home in fine style to a jubilant reception.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 3:24 pm
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Every Marvel film. Superhero is a hero, until they're not, and then they are again. World saved, baddy  banished.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 3:51 pm
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Grease

I've no desire to watch John Travolta holidaying on Mykonos.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 3:55 pm
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Candyman

I do not need to watch a biopic about Sammy Davis Jr., much as I admire him.

John Dies At The End

Just a guess, but probably John dies at the end.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 3:57 pm
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The Matrix - people struggling with fairly modern usages of very old mathematical concepts


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 3:58 pm
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Never seen it – not really interested in a prequel to Treasure Island or Long John Silver’s origin story.

Don't want to derail the thread, but Black Sails is a really good series.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 3:58 pm
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Eraserhead - artists blissfully using pencils with rubbers on the end


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 3:59 pm
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Top gun. Improbably short US fighter pilot kills his co-pilot.

Top gun 2. Same, but everyone is a lot older.

Withnail and I. The story of one half of a pair of twins buying a wood fixture, told from his brothers point of view.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 4:05 pm
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Moulin Rouge - female Chinese warrior discovers make up....


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 4:11 pm
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but Black Sails is a really good series.

The Cyclist Touring Club map and grade cumbrian mountain tracks to inform the creation of the first Bartholomew Motoring Maps?

To be honest anything with Nicholas Crane in is good


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 4:12 pm
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Deathproof, an hour and a half of Kurt Russell failing to find a pulse.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 4:16 pm
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Independence Day - 2hrs of fighting illegal immigrants followed by some fireworks and a BBQ. (It's the No.1 rated film in the history of the Daily Mail)


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 4:23 pm
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Debbie does Dallas - I never got the whole JR and Bobby Ewing thing, so watching someone's tribute to it is of zero interest

The Fast and The Furious (x N) - I think we all get a bit grumpy when we haven't eaten, but it's not going to be box office material


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 4:32 pm
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TBH most Fast and Furious films are less Fast Cars and more Face Punching.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 4:48 pm
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The Godfather.

Man who is hard to understand, mumbles for 3 hours.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 4:50 pm
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Avengers Assemble

Men in tights battle Ikea purchase.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 4:51 pm
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Avengers Assemble

2 old folks get together for a reunion


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 4:57 pm
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The Godfather.

Bloke stands near the font at a Christening and nods when asked if he believes in Jesus


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:08 pm
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Eternals - A group of Game of Thrones rejects stand on a beach for 3 hours.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:12 pm
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Kill Bill 1 & 2 - hours and hours of Martin Lewis telling you how to save money in these troubled times. While wearing a yellow jumpsuit.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:13 pm
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Bridget Jones diary - don't care who's birthday she remembers
Men In Black - funeral home day to day goings on.
Polar Express. - Train ride gets increasingly chilly


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:22 pm
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Detective Pikachu

summary? seriously?


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:26 pm
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The War With Grandpa

Robert de Niro keeps repeating the same invented story about what he did during the war.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:31 pm
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The Magnificent 7.

Seems little point in watching it when I haven't seen the previous six Magnificent films.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:35 pm
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Game of thrones

Musical chairs with tits and dragons.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:37 pm
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Classic guitarist fancies some venison.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:38 pm
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The Dark Knight

Weirdo in skin tight body armour mutters in gruff voice and fights even badder guys than he is.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:39 pm
 si77
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On Golden Pond.

Watersports on a whole new scale.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:40 pm
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E.T. - can't imagine the back story to launching channel 5 is that interesting.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:40 pm
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IT

Switch if off.
Switch it on.
...for about nineteen hours.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:48 pm
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The Godfather - man falls out with his brother after nephews Christening.

Gone with the Wind - story of loss at Southern kite festival.

Blade Runner - boy doesn't listen to parents about running with scissors.

Batman - Geoffrey Boycott biopic.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 5:51 pm
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Boat sinks, most people die.

Titanic. Never seen it, never will.

Beat me to it


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 6:02 pm
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Saving Private Ryan
The much loved sequel to arthouse flop Spendthrift Private Ryan.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 6:03 pm
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Falling Down - health and safety video with a big budget


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 6:16 pm
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Watership Down

prequel to Titanic


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 6:29 pm
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'Death on the Nile'

Man buggers off in a kayak to find himself...


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 6:47 pm
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'The Revenant'

18th century Dyslexic man tries to start a church in the new world.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 6:50 pm
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Pirates of the Caribbean

A documentary on how expensive pastry based comestibles have become in Jamaica.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 6:56 pm
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The Great Escape - the story of the top left key on your keyboard


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 6:58 pm
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The Empire Strikes Back - Jacob Rees Mogg talks us through his plans for power.


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 7:07 pm
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Logan's Run -  An ideologically driven Epic catastrophe movie, 12 years in the making coming to a pensioners home very soon. Brought to you by our sponsors Dave, Gideon, Theresa, Alexander, Rishi, Liz and Vlad


 
Posted : 30/08/2022 7:09 pm
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