Forum menu
The Lubbers Hole.
Some decent ales, lager and cider in regular rotation.
Fortified wines to be served by the schooner only.
Decent whiskey.
Snacks to include cheeses, things wrapped in pastry, crisps and nuts. Essenially high fat salty treats. No meals.
Open fires, dart board, domino's and a good view from every window. Skittles lane out back.
Side TV room showing solely rugby league, football and darts on a massive tv with surround sound. Room to be sound proofed. No wifi.
No dogs or kids or beards.
Good manners essential.
Plus one for the Bell at Aldworth.
No kids. F off to McDonald's if you want to eat and drink with your family. If fact no-one under 30. Chips and burger under a tenner. Beers less than 4 quid. No council estate types. Decent selection of pork scratchings. No music, definitely no football.
Women allowed, Daveylad?
The Disappearing Chin as a name.
The Beard and Barrel, eh Casketeers?
I’d buy the Kirkstile inn and put a jukebox in
That should liven all those stiffs up a bit.
The Grumpy Ferret.
With one door out onto the Sarf Downs and the other onto Dartmoor (its my pub and it has Terry Pratchett laws of physics)
NO CHILDREN
Dog Friendly
Gluten free Ales, Stout, Lagers on tap.
And cider.
Mulled Wine and Cider during the colder months.
Menu:
Prawn cocktails for starters or Pate or Soup, then;
T bone Steak (starting at 24oz) and chips topping the main menu.
Log fires
B'Jasus....50 posts and not a single mention of an amply endowed friendly barmaid!
Seriously, WTF!!
Disappearing Chin
Is that a bad taste corona virus joke?
Another vote for something similar to the Bell at Aldworth, but with a touch of the Black Horse just down the road in Checkendon and maybe my newest discovery the Duke of Cumberland Arms in Henley (not on Thames).
I love a good pub garden to be honest. Inside stone flags, good sized bar, but minimal stools as they are often the haunt of weirdos. Dogs welcome, bit of music in the evening but nothing obtrusive. Pickled things and crisps for sale, and maybe old school doorstep sandwiches or ploughmans.
Used to like the small snug bar my old pub, the sadly departed dog and duck had but not been as convinced elsewhere.
My mates run this place, The North Star at Steventon. A real trip back to the early 70s country pub. No food! Not many kids and tractor video night.
https://whatpub.com/pubs/WHS/058/north-star-steventon
The Grapes in Stockport.
“Fancy a crisp Tommy?”
“Bugger off!”
I’m rocking sarf London boozers at the moment, most notably the White Hart in Southwark. Premium lager and scampi fries are my current choix du jour!!
Tablets (or an app) so you can order drinks from your table.
I would prefer waitress service as on the continent.
If "The Moon Under Water" is the one on Deansgate in Manchester it always was a Spoons. Ot is a massive, noisy, vertical drinking establishment. Horrendous.
Craven Arms in Appletreewick seems to have scrubbed up nicely. When I was last in there about 40 years ago there was a thick fog of ciggy smoke and the only people more pissed than the customers were the landlord and landlady. It was a brilliant place though.
My local little bar ticks plenty of boxes. A great selection of ever changing beers, cask and keg, including its own microbrewery. No music or telly. Titterton's pork pies and occasional visiting caterers of various types, otherwise bring your own.
A bit off topic but still about pubs....
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-51397915
Big fire, low leather tubs, books, Naim sound system only operable by me, All the whisk(e)y, dark, dingy and rural and rustic. With a techno/jungle club in cellar
B’Jasus….50 posts and not a single mention of an amply endowed friendly barmaid!
Seriously, WTF!!
Also, no Irish or darkies?
Sky Sports and a Help for Heroes banner.
Billiards table, reasonably priced decent beer, somewhere to lock bikes and not full of ****s.
Nearly describes my local
No Kids
No Women (other than staff)
TV's dotted around the place showing football, anything thats live at the minute, Italian, English, Brazilian, whatever, live matches is where its at, that includes all cricket games as well (possibly Tennis in the summer but undecided as yet).
Jukebox only featuring metal or punk, decent quality though, Naim amp feeding ProAc speakers throughout the pub
Beer Garden a must
No wine or other poncey drinks, Beer/Cider/lager only, no spirits
Food is a difficulty one, don't really want to encourage anyone to come in, therefore snacks only for the regulars (plus chips/roast potatoes at h/t in the matches that are on).
No stools at bar but obviously a rail to rest ones tired feet after a hard day at graft
Oh, and at least one mate in, but he can recognise when you cba to talk and will leave you alone to watch the sport
Obviously free wifi and numerous chargers around in case your phone goes down halfway through a bet
Is it too much to ask open 24/7 as well, some of those NZ/Aussie test matched have late starting times...
could just said wetherspoons 😉
Your pub sounds well shit mate
The Applecross Inn. Seafood and beer.
@iancity1 - frankly, I’d avoid your pub like I’d avoid a dose of herpes simplex!
Sounds like the worst sort of flat-roof/60’s housing estate pub.
If a pub doesn’t do decent food these days, it’ll die on its ass, and as for tv’s showing sport, no wine, no spirits...
“ Food is a difficulty one, don’t really want to encourage anyone to come in, therefore snacks only for the regulars (plus chips/roast potatoes at h/t in the matches that are on).”
Well, there was a pub I used to frequent on a regular basis, I’d ride out of an evening, the bar staff knew me and would have my pint pulled before I got to the bar, and a bunch of us would get together there at weekends. The food was outstanding we’d regularly eat there as well, and it was always busy as a result.
Then the owners sold it and moved to Salisbury, the bloke who took it on seemed to be much like you, I’d pitch up, he’d look across from where he was yakking to his little group of friends, go back to his conversation, look across, carry on talking, then eventually drag himself away and ask me what I was drinking - this happened every time.
I watched this extremely busy pub, with accommodation, on a busy main road, lose practically its entire clientele in the space of a couple of months, it closed six months after the bloke took it on, and remained closed for several years.
It’s open now, just, but it’s had long periods of being closed, and has never recovered the popularity it had when I was going there.
It’s the pub I met my now g/f in, her folks owned it, and after they moved to Salisbury I eventually lost touch, until two years ago, nearly thirty years later.
I’ve seen other pubs ruined by people who think they can run it like their own little fiefdom, just a place for their mates to hang out; I’ve got news for you, son, it ain’t gonna work, that I promise you.
My current regular drinking establishment is the Flemish Weaver, formerly the Pack Horse in Corsham. It had a reputation as a bit of a dive, small bunch of regulars, meagre selection of beer, some cider, bar snacks, etc.
Then new people took it on, re-did the interior in a very idiosyncratic fashion, lots of little nooks for drinking in, open fires, comfy couches in the main room, live music occasionally, superb food, ever-changing range of beers from all over the country, with emphasis on local/regional beers, a wide variety of gins, and a decent selection of whiskey, music playing in the background and they do a loyalty card.
It’s a very, very busy pub now, and they make their customers feel really welcome and appreciated; it’s not unusual to find a couple of trays of big juicy fried potato wedges on the bar for people to help themselves to.
It’s been a pub since 1725, and showing no signs now of being anything else.
The decor and ambience of Cafe Royal in Edinburgh, the beers of The Tap and Kitchen in Oundle. One gin, one single malt (either Caol Ila or Laphroaig), one rum, one vodka - no other spirits. Rioja and white rioja. Free water of both persuasions and reasonably priced soft drinks. Free 'jukebox' running Spotify (volume controlled by staff). No TV. No wifi. Library, magazines and newspapers (no Sun or Daily Mail). Proper tapas.
Has anyone mentioned the requirement for a cribbage corner?
A separate room for pub olympics games - alcoholic drinks forbidden for participants/competitors.
Dominoes would be in a separate room; concentration and strategy would be disturbed in the raucous pub olympics games room.
Table service for cribbage and dominoes players.
Food would be beef wellington and dauphinoise potatoes; nothing else - other than the jar of pickled eggs on the bar.
Extensive range of leaf teas - all brewed at correct temperature.
No coffee.
Beers must be brewed within 50 miles but preferably in the adjoining building.
Gin - no.
Rum, Whisky, Vodka.
Wines as selected by our sommelier
No pool table; no music; no tv; mobile phone signal blocked; daily newspapers plus selected magazines - new statesman, spectator, private eye, economist, national geographic.
Hard backed chairs for cribbage and dominoes; elsewhere....a mix of tub chairs, chaise longue, settees.
In a leafy glade by a babbling brook with songbirds in the trees.
Horses and carriages parked beneath a leafy canopy.
Ah yes, forget.....buxom barmaids.
Children? Leave them with nanny - or outside on a lead.
No? Me neither.
Mine already exists, Rat Race Ale House at Hartlepool Railway Station. Constantly changing beer selection, 4 ales, 2 ciders, a selection of Belgium beers and a couple of wines. Proper crisps/scratchings, no music, and Pete the grumpy owner. Only seats about 12 at a time. Unfortunately I only get to go when I'm up there working.
It would have a proper front bar, a snug and a back room - the latter being suitable for ladies. The former not. Except for Jenny, a wizened old barmaid with an infinite supply of patience coupled to a demeanour that says it's about to run out.
If it's quiet, she'll even take your money and then pull your pints and bring them through to you so you don't have to wait (she'll moan about doing it but still do it anyway)
It'll have a selection of well kept beers but it won't matter because you only ever drink 80/-
It'll have a front room full of locals waiting for their wives to finish shopping. At least one of these will be in the know and will dispense the odd tip while you're ordering your beers, which then while they're being pulled allows you time to nip next door to Corals and finance your round.
It won't do food. After pressure, it'll give in to crisps but only in the holy trinity of flavours. You're not here for food.
It'll have an outside netty. Which will ming of bleach to show it's been cleaned at least once this week.
On saturdays from late afternoon onwards, middle aged geordie women will start to infiltrate your previously defendable position in the back room. They will be done up to the nines, in ridiculous short skirts and low cut tops. They will flirt with you while they get through industrial quantities of wine in no time at all; this is considered preparation before they go out properly. They will terrify you, but in a good way.
What are pub olympic games?
I’ve seen other pubs ruined by people who think they can run it like their own little fiefdom, just a place for their mates to hang out
Seen this happen more than once. Can be a death-knell for a pub as it tends to attract a trend for subsequent short-term tenants, finally changing hands at least yearly until it’s boarded up.
Fun thread! From Dickensian man-caves to family cáfes via all manner of 1990s-00s proto-hipster palaces/purveyors of posh crisps and pale ales.
I like a village pub with beer garden by the river or sea, with some nice guest ales and one solid winner that is always on tap. Bathams please.
A good cider is essential. Gwatkins will do very nicely. In fact it had to be that.
And a bag of good strong cheese and onion crisps. Sandwich or bowl of chips if more peckish.
Games in the garden and pub. Darts, air hockey, bar billiards, dominos etc.
As ever, the company is what makes or breaks it. Even if it’s just Jack Jones.
No seats at the bar, that’s where you get served and not where you sit.
This. People who lurk at the bar drinking should be told to do one - bars are for buying, not drinking.
The Fat Cat on Kelham Island Sheffield, own brewery and great selection of guest ales and ciders.
Has anyone been to the Pigs nose inn - East Prawle ?
That’s pretty close to what my entry in this thread would be.
A good mix of local ales and ciders straight from cask, food just simple honest pub fayre.
Quirky old pub full of interesting and amusing nicknacks, there’s log fires, a snug, a knitting corner, shoe corner, aniseed balls and snuff on offer.
You’ve got a dart board and a pool table in the side room. Out back, the weird toilet area where you’ll also find the communal shower room.
The owner, being a record producer has created a live music venue in the linked parish hall (you could spend your time in the main pub without knowing it existed )
It’s been a while since I was there and checking their website just now I was surprised to see Atomic Kitten n the list of acts that had played there! But don’t let that put you off .
https://www.pigsnoseinn.co.uk/
https://www.devonlive.com/whats-on/music-nightlife/britains-most-eccentric-pub-devon-2786004
B’Jasus….50 posts and not a single mention of an amply endowed friendly barmaid!
Seriously, WTF!!
Also, no Irish or darkies?
Yawn......our ‘woke’ Moderater, virtue signaling again! 😏
B’Jasus….50 posts and not a single mention of an amply endowed friendly barmaid!
Seriously, WTF!!
The Disappearing Chin
Was that not it?
The 'Slip, Cup and Lip' at first glance appears to be a children's soft play park except there are no children - but there is booze. Soft play is wasted on children and doubly wasted on people who aren't getting wasted. Adult only high jinx and pratfalls with the aid of a copious supply of tasty social lubricant.
All our bar staff are qualified first aiders.
At kicking out / hosing down time you can then head round to our sister venue "Vertebrae". The world's first licensed all night trampoline park disco.
No one listed Perspex cubes, face masks and social distancing. Though table service is now common
I'd sell it and buy a bike shop...
Just been and sat in the garden of my local. Table service, cashless payments, everything sanitised. Really nice to be back there for a couple of hours.
A few hours time it will probably be a bit different.
Have just announced they won't be re-opening.
No one listed Perspex cubes, face masks and social distancing. Though table service is now common.
Pick your pub well @Houns And you’ll find very little that.
The Red House (formally Hogs Head ) are very relaxed on things, The a Duke have the distancing but none of the rest.
The Olde Wharf however are like a well oiled machine, very impressively organised.
A few hours time it will probably be a bit different.
You’d be surprised, nowhere round here is even vaguely busy any day of the week. All rather sad.
Wouldn't it be lovely for continental style table service outdoors to become a permanent fixture?
This. People who lurk at the bar drinking should be told to do one – bars are for buying, not drinking.
never understand why people think like that, pubs are for socialising in and the best place to do that is sat/stood around the bar. the only time i'll sit elsewhere in my local is if there is quite a few of us or i want a quiet chat with my wife.
worst thing about the pub since reopening is not being able to stay at the bar.
never understand why people think like that, pubs are for socialising in and the best place to do that is sat/stood around the bar. the only time i’ll sit elsewhere in my local is if there is quite a few of us or i want a quiet chat with my wife.
worst thing about the pub since reopening is not being able to stay at the bar.
I think the issue I have is 3 fold:
1. It clogs up the bar so others can't get served without leaning over the people.
2. In some places it can create quite a clique atmosphere where you have regulars surrounded the bar.
3. It can sometimes mean the bar staff are more interested in talked to the people at the bar than serving drinks. Or to be more charitable, it stops staff seeing who's waiting so they don'get served.
I could be persuaded if it's a long bar with a small amount of bar seating that doesn't completely block it, or if it was removed at busy times.
Have a garden or frontage with a view, coastal preferably. Decent local beers, support local breweries, and Guinness (for rugby purposes only). TV - only international rugby and test matches. The pie and chips from my local - to die for. Range of decent nibbles. Kids OK, but no bloody balls on the premises. Open fire for the colder weather. Absolutely no jars - it's served in what it's served in. Dogs, walkers, cyclists, mud and all welcome. Should be a place to chat nonsense to others, locals or not.