[Closed] What are your social anxieties...?

If you're not drinking at all or have much less than everyone else then it's fine by me if you pay a few quid less. If a person or persons are drinking much more than the rest of the table then they can chuck in a bit more, or pay the tip by themselves, or whatever. But work out what everyone has had individually? No thanks. In the past I have just left my (equal) share and gone to the pub when someone insists on getting the abacus out.

To be honest I prefer cooking for people at home or going round to their houses for dinner rather than eating out, but eating out is a lot more convenient for big groups!

If they are in serious financial strife, they shouldn't be coming out for meals, and if they keep up the pretence of being well off, then they only have themselves to blame if they're judged for being a tight arse.

I'd definitely exempt veggie non-drinkers from any bill splitting, as they're clearly just joyless masochists anyway, so would therefore perversely but secretly enjoy the unfairness of it all

Far easier not to invite them in the first place, old chap. Leave them crying in to their tofu.

🙂

I hate smalltalk, being stuck in a room with a load of strangers and a glass of wine. Feigning interest in other people's jobs, hobbies and children is just too much effort.

Was a bit of a problem as a regional newspaper journalist when I was expected to 'network' with boring local grandees and cultivate them as contacts.

but I hate the idea of 'rounds'...

Me and a mate - fine; I'll get some drinks, you get some drinks...happy..

Me too. You don't drink at your pace, its always dictated by someone in the group with 'something' to prove or a raging alcoholic.

Plus I dont like pints of bland-tasting tin-colour stuff so I doubt 'yep mines a Double-rum again' would go down to well.

I hate people talking to me about what I do, how its going etc. Why not just come out ask to see a payslip/my assets from my Accountant?

When I 'get to know someone' the last things I ask is what job/etc. I'm more interested in their hobbies, even if its polar-opposite to mine...

Oh and their car. Worldclassaccident was an interesting conversation in the pub 🙂

If you have an accountant, you shouldn't be mixing with the plebs anyway 😛

I don't but the convo's always seem to feel like that.

Either that or 'how much equity do you have in you in your house'?

In the pub recently I overhead a group talking about nothing but that. From what I gathered they were a BBC crowd fresh up in Salford..

LOL they're not the sort of people i'd end up in a pub with that's for sure 🙂

More likely to be about Torres, Rossi or what parts/motorbikes they've recently fitted. 🙂

I'd definitely exempt veggie non-drinkers from any bill splitting, as they're clearly just joyless masochists anyway, so would therefore perversely but secretly enjoy the unfairness of it all

binners for world president! 😀

I hate people who are happy to accept drinks as part of a round, but when its their turn, they say I'm just nipping to the bog, then don't come back as they've actually sneaked off home.

No names. No pack drill.....

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Its even funnier when they chip in on internet forums with their own opinions on the etiquette of buying rounds. Oh the....

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😀

When I 'get to know someone' the last things I ask is what job/etc.

Never get this. I know it's considered a social faux-pas. I'm always interested to hear what people do in their jobs. Assuming they're proper jobs and not something with the the word manager or team-leader tacked on, or in marketing, hr, recuitment etc.

I'd definitely exempt veggie non-drinkers from any bill splitting, as they're clearly just joyless masochists anyway, so would therefore perversely but secretly enjoy the unfairness of it all

I once went out for a lunchtime meal at a company, everyone ate and drank like fish (I went back to do some work and said 'pay mine/sort later')- I was asked for an additional 30 ontop of my 'share'. From that day on I ate and drank like a fish

Never get this. I know it's considered a social faux-pas. I'm always interested to hear what people do in their jobs. Assuming they're proper jobs and not something with the the word manager or team-leader tacked on, marketing, hr, recuitment etc.

hi, I'm an Engineer on attack-Subamarine's is only interesting conversation at the title/start. From that point its exactly the same bollocks.

hi, I'm an Engineer on attack-Subamarine's is only interesting conversation at the title/start. From that point its exactly the same bollocks.

I think that sums it up.

I have an irrational fear of asking for help in shops. I'd rather walk round an enormous supermarket 5 times and stare at every shelf looking for something before I ask a member of staff. Clothes shops are a nightmare. Shoe shopping even worse. Thank god for the internet is all I can say.

LOL they're not the sort of people i'd end up in a pub with that's for sure

More likely to be about Torres, Rossi or what parts/motorbikes they've recently fitted.

Do people still talk about Rossi? I call bullsh1t.

When I 'get to know someone' the last things I ask is what job/etc.

Never get this. I know it's considered a social faux-pas. I'm always interested to hear what people do in their jobs. Assuming they're proper jobs and not something with the the word manager or team-leader tacked on, or in marketing, hr, recuitment etc.

I dread this questions. I have an unbeleivable mundane and shitty job. The last thing I want to do on an evening is remember this while I hear about all the amazing jobs other people have!

Interesting to read about bill splitting

The BIL is like this he has no restraint when it comes to family meals in restaurants. Last time we all went out he ordered some sort of chateaubriand/filet mignon burgers for him and his family who just pushed them around on the plate and left most of them.

Nice one

binners - Member

I'd definitely exempt veggie non-drinkers from any bill splitting, as they're clearly just joyless masochists anyway, so would therefore perversely but secretly enjoy the unfairness of it all

If I ever come for a beer with you I'll be sure to wear my best hairshirt to complete the scenario for you. 😀

I struggle to control my anger when people start talking about mind numbing shit including, but certainly not stopping at the follwing...

1)The Valleys
2)The Only Way Is E***x
3)Geordie ****ing Shore
4)Any tv show containing a talentless ****er of a celebrity judging other ****ers
5)The Apprentice (more common sense from my mrs than any of the ****tard contestants on this pile of shite and that is saying something, trust me)
6)The talentless shit surrently in the charts (arrrgghhh the charts)

Other than that I'd be delighted to talk to you if you pop into the institute at any time, although let me know first because I can't ****ing stand unplanned visitors.

Been out on the bike, so just catching up...

... so if I send the price of a decent meal* and a pint to emsz, I get to see her vest?
(* not just chips with a plastic fork...)

Scandal42, perfect timing, I've just had my occasional makrting spam email from The KT Forum, and there's this little beauty of an evening sitting in there. Shall I get you a ticket?

The National Reality Television Academy presents the 3rd annual National Reality TV Awards 2013 at the FORUM

The 3rd annual National Reality Television Awards takes place on the 16th of September 2013. The Televised event will be filmed for broadcast on Sky 191 . With nominees including ; Helen Flanagan, Five (Big Reunion) , Atomic Kitten , I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, X-Factor, Britain’s Got Talent, The Only Way is Essex, ,Made in Chelsea, Dragon’s Den, The Apprentice, Come Dine With Me, Blue (Big Reunion) , The Luminites, Francine Lewis (Britain’s Got Talent), Rick Edwards, and much more. The nights sure to be one of the hottest events in the UK events calendar.

!!!!!

The National Reality Television Academy presents the 3rd annual National Reality TV Awards 2013 at the FORUM
The 3rd annual National Reality Television Awards takes place on the 16th of September 2013. The Televised event will be filmed for broadcast on Sky 191 . With nominees including ; Helen Flanagan, Five (Big Reunion) , Atomic Kitten , I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, X-Factor, Britain’s Got Talent, The Only Way is Essex, ,Made in Chelsea, Dragon’s Den, The Apprentice, Come Dine With Me, Blue (Big Reunion) , The Luminites, Francine Lewis (Britain’s Got Talent), Rick Edwards, and much more. The nights sure to be one of the hottest events in the UK events calendar.

Only one thing for it....

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that and talking to people in any environment with background noise - I can't pick out what they're saying from the other noise.

This is me too, I can be sat at a table in a moderately noisy pub with half a dozen other people all managing to hold a conversation between themselves and all I can do is pick up the odd word and try and laugh in the right places (and maybe risk a nod if someone looks inquiringly in my direction).

Ooh, social anxiety, my favourite!

Mine is a someone odd one based around people going home when they visit my house. So basically, I like people coming round for a beer/BBQ/dinner but when it gets to about 11pm when everyone else wants to turn the music up, increase the drinking and talk louder I bloody hate it and just want everyone to leave. Same happens when we go for a night out and my other half utters those dreaded words “shall we go back to ours for a drink?”, I hate it. Doesn’t matter who the people are, how drunk I/they are or even how tired I am, come 11pm ish I want an empty house. I think it’s because ultimately I can be a bit of a grumpy git and I like the option to say “right, I’ve had enough, I’m going to bed” without then having to lie in bed listening to people/music downstairs. This has caused a good few “discussions” with my other half after a few beers I can tell you.

Face’s I am crap at as well, only causes embarrassment at work really, specifically when training new people, “oh hi John, no, Steve, no James, no, what is your name again?”. A good trick I learnt for this is to ask them their name, they will look perturbed that you forget but will give say “it’s Keith of course”, you then retort saying “sorry, I meant your surname” meaning you get the name you forgot and they don’t think you’re too much of a fool. Oh, and how to deal with people I “kind of know”, friends of friends, old work colleagues, guys I played football with 15 years ago. Walk past them in the street, easy, a nod, a quick “hello, how you doing” without braking step, simple, but when you see them in a bar and know you’re going to end up with a real conversation, that is not comfortable at all.

I have many more but these are as good as any.

I'm amazed at how socially retarded some people are. It's a social norm to split the bill when eating out, if you don't understand this then it's *you* with the problem. If you're going to attend a social meal and itemize everything, look just don't bother going, everyone will have a better time.

It's a social norm to split the bill when eating out, if you don't understand this then it's *you* with the problem

This times a big number.
If you want to quibble over a few quid, bugger off and eat on your own. Same with buying rounds, get in, get a round in or bugger off.

These are basic British social etiquette things, they even do it in Yorkshire.

Miserable I know, but I hate the idea of 'rounds'...

I really dislike doing rounds at work. Every time we make a tea or coffee we [b]have[/b] to make everyone else one. It's all well and good until you have people who don't bother washing up and you're faced with bits of someone else's lips stuck to your mug, or 5 sugars. Rounds just don't work in any context.

I have a fear that people judge me to be dull, ignorant or socially inadequate, when really I am just utterly confounded by the inanity of their smalltalk, and too apathetic to say so..

'Rounds' at work? for brewing up?

Behave.

Rounds works perfectly well in the context of a pub, provided everyone plays the game.

Ned

You have succeeded in making me feel sick. Ill have to ride it off this evening 😉

If you're going to attend a social meal and itemize everything, look just don't bother going, everyone will have a better time.

If you're really that hung up about spending 30 seconds adding up a bill - maybe it's you with the problem?

I'm generally quite happy to split, and with most people it probably eventually evens out (or not), but I can understand it's different for those who consistently lose out.

Dancing ! no one's mentioned dancing yet, what the hell is that all about ??? 99% of people who dance at parties look ****ing ridiculous to me, which is exactly how I feel whenever I've drunk too much to resist friends' constant nagging to join them. Spoils the whole night for me and makes me just want to go home.
Or maybe it's just me ....

If you're really that hung up about spending 30 seconds adding up a bill - maybe it's you with the problem?

If the bill is £100 and there are four of you it's £25 each. Make it £30 each to cover the staff tip. If you spend any time itemizing the bill it's *you* with the problem.

There are obvious exceptions to this but I'll point them out anyway, for example:

- If three of you are boozing away merrily all night and one of you is driving - driver doesn't pay
- If one of you eats a tiny salad and the other three have fillet mignon - the woman doesn't pay
- If any of the party are children, they aren't included in the split - the total bill should be evenly split between the adult diners.

I think ultimately if you're looking at a social occasion as a financial transaction then you're missing the point. Also your friends probably secretly loathe you and are embarrassed to dine with you but haven't got the nerve to say anything.

🙂

Every time we make a tea or coffee we have to make everyone else one.

I just opted out. The cantankerous bastard in the office just never made them. He makes his own now.
I had fisticuffs with a friend of a friend (I didn't even know him) over splitting a bill. He and his friends had been in the restaurant drinking for 2 hours before we even got there. Once I spoke out, everyone else decided not to split it and it got a bit out of hand (didn't help that he was pissed up).
On the other hand, I've stuck up for those who haven't had much and pointed out that it's not fair to expect them to subsidise my gluttony.

I also have that thing of finding it quite hard to bond with someone until we've gotten heartily drunk together..

[i]Dancing ! no one's mentioned dancing yet, what the hell is that all about ??? 99% of people who dance at parties look ****ing ridiculous to me, which is exactly how I feel whenever I've drunk too much to resist friends' constant nagging to join them. Spoils the whole night for me and makes me just want to go home.
Or maybe it's just me ....[/i]

No, It's me as well!

Kids. Anywhere where there's kids. I'd rather die of thirst than go to a 'theme' pub or where there's a playground in the garden. Going to Cornwall in the school holidays last year was the most foolish thing I've ever done, place was swarming with the little gits.
I ****in hate kids me.

Dancing is fun and good for the soul you miserable buggers.

I think ultimately if you're looking at a social occasion as a financial transaction then you're missing the point. Also your friends probably secretly loathe you and are embarrassed to dine with you but haven't got the nerve to say anything.

I'm normally quite happy to split as I said, but I don't harbour weird hatred and rage for my friends who prefer not to.

I've never looked cool, nor will I. Once I realised this all my anxieties floated away.

I still double check emails/txts/posts for spel1ing mystakes though.

Dancing is fun and good for the soul you miserable buggers.

On the bill splitting issue... with my friends we each work out what we owe roughly. Everyone rounds up their rough total to the nearest fiver and you've got the bill covered, enough left over for a tip and everyone is happy.
It takes about 30 seconds and we all get to feel good about our (occasionally dodgy thanks to the wine) mental arithmetic skillz.

I have checkout choice problems similar to someone earlier in the thread, I have a little silent celebration in my head when I pick the one that moves the fastest.

My main grind is smartphones.
They have their place but when I'm talking to you please don't look at your facebook or twitter.No manners whatsoever.
Even answering a call whilst I'm talking to them is just rude. They can call back later.

I hate parties, get togethers, gatherings of most sorts, basically anything that involves a group of larger than 8 has me a all melancholy for the preceding 24 hours.

I guess it's just my age but they're either full of other middle aged people that stopped listening to new music about 20 years ago so all the tunes are from the early nineties at best or they are the sort where everyone stands around boring each other shitless with stories about their work/car/mortgage/holiday whilst clutching a drink to their chest.

Therefore I tend to be the bloke standing in the corner looking thoroughly miserable whilst everyone else seemingly has a great time making small talk and dancing to abba and wham!

I feel your pain regarding phones! We have a dining rule; anyone caught checking their cellphone automatically pays for the entire meal as a forfeit!

I feel your pain regarding phones! We have a dining rule; anyone caught checking their cellphone automatically pays for the entire meal as a forfeit!

If two people use their phones do they split it equally?

Self obsessed/Take themselves seriously or stupid* people. I'm not better than you, but shit me I can't help but mentally and physically glaze over. I might actually just walk away.

Quite career limiting. Wish I could see past it.

*Defined by those that pretend they know stuff, yet don't. Not a comment on people that can't do maths.

Self obsessed/Take themselves seriously or stupid* people. I'm not better than you, but shit me I can't help but mentally and physically glaze over. I might actually just walk away.

A life skill I am gradually learning is to appreciate that in many roles, [b]everyone is winging it, all the time.[/b]

It came to my attention when I asked someone who told them to do something a certain way, and was given the name of a very senior person. I realised that the very senior person had basically made it up because they assumed that by doing so they would appear to be as knowledgeable as they should be.
Unfortunately it was a load of bollocks.

Learn to appreciate the 'winging it' thing, and use it to your advantage...

Winging it is perfectly acceptable, sadly. I'm referring to the bores that won't admit it!