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Chain. Or maybe gear cable. Reckon I could batter then throttle the goose. Maybe. As long as the goose doesn't choose the QR.
I'd like to think I could take on a at least a goat.
I reckon your only chance with most of them is to play the long game, strike up a bond with the animal, keep it as a pet for a while and then, when it's least expecting it, push it off a cliff or something.
Obviously that won't work for the eagle, you'd look kinda foolish as it flew off.
And I have my doubts that any of the above would work for a cobra.
Variation – you have a multi tool and one minute to remove a part from your bike for use in the fight. What part do you use and which otherwise undefeatable animal can you win against?
If on my commute I came across an angry chimp I'd definitely carefully remove the crank arms and whip out the square tapered bottom bracket, it's quite weighty so should work well as a knuckle duster type thing.
Rabbit, as long as it's got a good case of myxomatosis.
don’t think it would matter. Birds have soft bones and not much mass. Grab it by a wing and I reckon it would be game over.
Right
9 ft high and 20 odd stone. Cant run away either - they can do 70 mph. Meet one of these boys after its had 10 pts of stella on a satruday night........
square tapered bottom bracket, it’s quite weighty so should work well as a knuckle duster type thing.
take off your sock and you have a pretty handy ranged weapon! Think it would just anger a chimp though and make things worse for you in the long run
@TJ forgot about the Ostrich. They seem like the spawn of a goose and a Velociraptor from Jurassic Park (not the real turkey sized ones). Proof that there is no God.
Still think I could take on an eagle or all the members of The Eagles
What animal could you take on?
With bare hands one to one I can definitely take on these anytime:
Rat
House cat
Goose
Medium sized dog
Eagle
I reckon I can:
Large dog
King Cobra
Wolf
I cannot with these:
Chimpanzee
Kangaroo
Crocodile
Gorilla
Lion
Elephant
Crizzly bear
What's your King Cobra strategy, Chewkw? Remember, unarmed combat, no sticks etc. You have to get in there and grapple.
Still think I could take on an eagle or all the members of The Eagles
Reckon I'd stand a chance against Glenn Frey.
Rabbit, as long as it’s got a good case of myxomatosis.
I *know* I can, having dispatched more than a few with a stick.
My first job was turkey killing, plucking and gutting for Christmas, so I also know a turkey or chicken is easy meat.
What’s your King Cobra strategy, Chewkw? Remember, unarmed combat, no sticks etc. You have to get in there and grapple.
Yes, hand only. Some people in my country have King Cobra as pets.
King Cobras do Not attack people unless provoke and because of their large size they are not as fast but its venom can easily kill an elephant.
However, smaller faster cobras or viper type snakes I am not that confident.
p/s: there is a trend now in my part of the world to have King Cobras as pets which is cruel because they feed them with other rat snakes and harmless snakes or even civet cats ... absolutely hate that.
What part of a snake is the neck?
I'm no Michaela Strachan, but all of it below the head I reckon.
Did we decide who stated the scrap? If I've got the element of surprise, that's going to even thing up a bit.
Throw the mouse at the elephant and it'll trample everything else as it flees
....Oh hang on....No mouse.
You'd beat a rat but it'd make an mess of you in the process, probably one of the fights id fancy the least tbh. Even over some of the ones i'd lose. King cobra would be try get is tail and swing round your head a few times then smash it into a tree/rock. I'd estimate about a 0.00002% success rate on that though.
What part of a snake is the neck?
You will be dead by the time you figure out the neck.
Anti-venom for King Cobra is not very effective because of the high dosage once bitten, hence they are very deadly.
I don't know how many times you'd have to hit a king cobra to kill it, but it only has to hit you once...
With bare hands one to one I can definitely take on these anytime:
I reckon I can:
Wolf
There's no way you're taking a wolf out fam.
Strike first, strike hard
There’s no way you’re taking a wolf out fam.
If they are in pack I can't but one to one I might have a chance provided it is not a surprised ambush on me.
My home town … kids playing with wild crocodile That's a juvenile salty by the way.
double post
Red kangaroos are nowt to be trifled with. Up to 1.8 m tall, 90 kg and they grab round the neck with their front paws and disembowel with their powerful back legs.
I see Eastern Grey Roos all the time when riding. Big ones (males or females) are awe inspiring. I got a fright yesterday riding to work when a massive male bounced off next to me and I hadn’t seen it. They normally run away to be fair but every now and then they stand and stare with a fistful of grass and I imagine them saying ‘do you feel lucky punk?’
I feel like the elephant in the room here is the gorilla. Just mental.
matt_outandabout
Full MemberMy first job was turkey killing, plucking and gutting for Christmas, so I also know a turkey or chicken is easy meat.
Yeah, but farm birds... How would you get on vs a wild chicken, or an urban turkey?
I feel like the elephant in the room here is the gorilla. Just mental.
I reckon gorilla or chimpanzee can tear people apart like pulled pork or Kentucky fried chicken. The latter love a bit of protein from meat.
House cat, no problem
Chimp versus poultry.
Feel like the QI klaxxon might go off now but....
What about a cougar?
As good as I feel currently, I'm thinking the relentless onslaught of a snail or a slug would be a bit of a challenge! 🥵
What about a cougar?
Death at that hands of a hot older woman! Now that I'm not totally against... 😉
I reckon I’d batter most marine life.
That's what the guy in the chip shop said
A grizzly? Possible with the correct technique.
Proof?
I was biking up to Cape York when a big emu came out of the scrub by the side of the track and ran alongside me for a fair while. I was fairly shifting, I was on TTR600! I basically soiled myself when it sped up and then ducked in front of me and shot back into the scrub on the other side. No way would I be getting in a rumble with one of them.
Ahem ...
Cocaine Bear anyone?
Reckon I could choke a chicken or wax a dolphin, no way I could spank a monkey though.
Chimp versus poultry.
That's not a chimp but a howler monkey or spider monkey which is not aggressive at all.
It's also not poultry but a porcupine.
Ffs can cats read? Mine has jumped up on the sofa and put her claws in my scalp. I think it's about to kick off here and I'm going to get schooled....
I’d pay good money to see chewky take on a wolf…
9 ft high and 20 odd stone. Cant run away either – they can do 70 mph.
70kph, not mph. But more impressive, they can maintain 60kph for ages, unlike a cheetah that can do 75mph but only for a few seconds. An ostrich could run a marathon in about 40 minutes
Obviously the Bombers or failing that the handlebar.
I reckon you'd have a hard time getting the handlebar off in one minute. 4 stem bolts, minimum 2 brake/gear/dropper bolts, bonus one lock-on grip bolt so you can use one end as a core sampler.
Perhaps take the seatpost, smash off the saddle and beat the animal with the rail end. Good for rat, cat, goose, medium dog. I'd want the front wheel as a shield while dealing with the eagle though. For a large dog or chimp I'd want the handlebar. Any of the others I'm using the bike to escape.
Perhaps take the seatpost
Except with mine you have to loosen the dropper lever and the lockout lever, slide it into the centre to push enough cable through to release from the actuator. Although forcefully extending a 150mm dropper into the animal's face would pack a punch...
Crocodile... depends, am I allowed a frying pan?
Honestly, I think I could take an ostrich - soon as I get hold of that scrawny neck, it's game over. 🙂
What part do you use and which otherwise undefeatable animal can you win against?
The chain from my riding partners bike and it would be any of them since for me "win" is still alive.
Even if my riding partner is now lunch.
The chain from my riding partners bike and it would be any of them since for me “win” is still alive.
Even if my riding partner is now lunch.
That exact technique was aired to a colleague training to be an arctic guide and therefore learning to shoot in case 9f polar bear attack...
That’s not a chimp but a howler monkey or spider monkey which is not aggressive at all.
It’s also not poultry but a porcupine.
Pedants gonna pedant.