What animal could you take on in unarmed combat

Brits are clearly more[s] fighters [/s]lovers than the yanks

~30% of people don’t think they could take on a rat

I'd say that 30% are the informed minority!

I've caught a rat with a spade and a hammer. **** going hand to hand.

I've always thought I would win against a wolf (just one, not a pack). It's just a big dog at the end of the day. I'm not saying I would escape unhurt, but pretty sure I could come out victorious. I love that more people think a king cobra would be easier to handle 😂

Edit: A goose!? Hell no, those things are terrifying!

I reckon I could take on a large dog. I’ve owned a few and they tend to be placid, slow and spend 99.9% of their time asleep. House cat, no problem and I fancy my chances against an eagle if indoors. Would be close though and I’d have some top scars for life.

Where are midges?

I don't think a cobra would be a big deal. But an adult chimp could just pull your arms and legs off

I’d say that 30% are the informed minority!

It says take on, not defeat. I mean, if I had to kill a rat and had no weapons, I'd give it a go. I might not win but I doubt I'd lose. I'd be far less confident against an elephant.

Large dog - depends on the stakes. For a bag of dog biscuits, unless I were starving then I'd let it. If it had my kid in its jaws, definitely.

I'd fancy my chances a boatload more against a kangaroo than I would a chimp! I can't imagine the mindset that allows you to think you could beat a gorilla, lion, elephant or grizzly - I've never been that confident.

Are we talking hand-to hand/ or do we have a RAMBO knife?

I reckon I'd stand a chance against a Quokka but I'd be forever an outcast once people found out.

pondo
Full Member

I’d fancy my chances a boatload more against a kangaroo than I would a chimp! I can’t imagine the mindset that allows you to think you could beat a gorilla, lion, elephant or grizzly – I’ve never been that confident.

The question is, what sort of unarmed combat. Like, if it's no-holds-barred, I wouldn't fancy my chances but I'd be pretty confident that an elephant doesn't fully grasp the rules of boxing, frinstance, and is likely to get disqualified.

I don't fancy my chances with any of those, wild animals are best observed from a safe distance.

Red kangaroos are nowt to be trifled with.  Up to 1.8 m tall, 90 kg and they grab round the neck with their front paws and disembowel with their powerful back legs.  They are used to fighting each other despite being herbivores  I would not fancy my chances.  I d rather take on a wolf.

There was a R4 prog a while back talking about people are more dumb now, ie I am sure I could fight a Grizzly... They were blaming the likes of YT

I'm not keen to fight anything, is that okay?

Saying that, I have seen all the Crocodile Dundee films so could probably kill a croc with my bear hands by repeatedly punching it in the face.

I reckon I could seriously **** up a pigeon.

Love these, real pub conversation. Anyway I reckon I'd struggle against a T-Rex. And Zippy and Bungle.

I would reckon I could take on a guinea pig if the fight was a fair one. I'd struggle against a russian dwarf hamster. They are vicious.

Monkey wise, maybe I could take a tamarin, few kicks to the face. Smother it when it's knocked out.

I fancy my chances against an eagle if indoors

How big is the room?
https://flic.kr/p/2iumcxC

Just wondering wether I could take a goat down. That would be an interesting match up. A lot of dodging, then wrestling. I think that would be a really tough fight.

My takeaway from this is that whoever designed this survey had clearly been microdosing. Alas they missed the more interesting subsidiary question of what would vegans do.

Also, that research needs a triangulated approach to give a centre ground.
I vote that we ask the resident Aussies in the forum....

I’d fancy my chances a boatload more against a kangaroo than I would a chimp! I can’t imagine the mindset that allows you to think you could beat a gorilla, lion, elephant or grizzly – I’ve never been that confident.

Allowing for some reading comprehension, the gun owning ones?

Edit: A goose!? Hell no, those things are terrifying!

That reminds me, one of those bastards used to terrorise me on one of my COVID walking routes during spring 2020 lockdown. It'd lay in wait somewhere as I passed the farm then suddenly appear from nowhere and put the absolute shits up me. I always swore I'd come back in my car when lockdown was over and run the sod over.

Now on the list of Thursday's jobs, goose murdering!

I’d struggle against a russian dwarf hamster. They are vicious.

They are still semi-tameable though. Its the other species which have cant be which are the really scary ones.

I am curious who thinks they could take an elephant unarmed. Exactly what is their plan of attack there.

matt_outandabout
Full Member

I vote that we ask the resident Aussies in the forum….

WE could do but they wouldn't answer, they're all too busy fighting spiders

could probably kill a croc with my bear hands

Chance are significantly enhanced if you have bear hands, as opposed to bare ones.

Surely there's a point at which biomechanically it's no longer possible?

If you got lucky then you could break the neck of anything smaller than the medium dog, or the snake, but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what's the strategy?

more interesting subsidiary question of what would vegans do.

Laugh from the sidelines as all the "I'd definitely be prepared to kill my own food" get mauled.

Shout "he's behind you" as Basic-Bacon-Bro is distracted from the gorilla as he tells the "how can you tell someone is vegan?" joke for the hundredth time.

Eats shoots and leaves.

I am curious who thinks they could take an elephant unarmed. Exactly what is their plan of attack there.

Run round behind it and punch it in the bollocks. Easy. Next!.

but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what’s the strategy?

Kick in the bollocks.

Edit: beaten to it

2md edit: failing finding balls.

Not a cat

I am curious who thinks they could take an elephant unarmed. Exactly what is their plan of attack there.

Trip it up then suffocate it by putting its nose up your jumper.

but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what’s the strategy?

Choke it to death by getting stuck in its throat

If you got lucky then you could break the neck of anything smaller than the medium dog, or the snake, but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what’s the strategy?

Our unique ability to turn our hands into fists is one of the more overlooked things that gave us an edge over our competitors in the food chain back in the day, so you could use those

https://www.economist.com/science-and-technology/2012/12/22/making-a-fist-of-it

People are stupid, a chimp could pull you apart without really breaking a sweat. I've been 20ft away from a black bear, and it was obvious to both of us who was in charge, the idea of taking on a Grizzly is fantasy land really.

Our unique ability to turn our hands into fists is one of the more overlooked things that gave us an edge over our competitors in the food chain back in the day, so you could use those

Yea, but the lion isn't going to just stand there for 12 rounds

People are stupid, a chimp could pull you apart without really breaking a sweat. I’ve been 20ft away from a black bear, and it was obvious to both of us who was in charge, the idea of taking on a Grizzly is fantasy land really.

I once wrote a design spec for a chimpanzee proof camera housing.

We started with the one we developed for polar bears and made it tougher.

I reckon I could seriously **** up a pigeon.

Have you ever tried to kick a pigeon? Even if you zero in on one with one leg you can't do it.

RIP Sean Lock

the idea of taking on a Grizzly is fantasy land really.

Those crazy 'mericans

https://www.thejournal.ie/chasing-black-bears-massacusetts-2098908-May2015/

I reckon I’d stand a chance against a Quokka but I’d be forever an outcast once people found out.

You monster!

Variation - you have a multi tool and one minute to remove a part from your bike for use in the fight. What part do you use and which otherwise undefeatable animal can you win against?

I reckon I’d batter most marine life. On land.

How big is the room?
Banska Stiavnica - Erasmus+ Bioprofiles

don’t think it would matter. Birds have soft bones and not much mass. Grab it by a wing and I reckon it would be game over. You’d get plenty of cuts and scars but I reckon it would be one of the easiest on the list.

Chimps are terrifying aggressive bags of pure muscle and hate. Don’t think I’d last thirty seconds against one. Elephants, lions and bears are a no go too. How could you even really hurt an elephant with your bare hands? Eye jab?

If you got lucky then you could break the neck of anything smaller than the medium dog, or the snake, but anything larger and in the absence of tools, what’s the strategy?

What part of a snake is the neck?

You could break it down in to what tools you are equipped with. So versus a wolf for example. Wolfy McWolfson has four sets of claws and a set of jaws. You have, at the start any way, teeth, fingers, fists, elbows, head, knees, feet and the ability to grapple, throw etc.

I can’t imagine the mindset that allows you to think you could beat a gorilla, lion, elephant or grizzly – I’ve never been that confident.

TBF Anyone who's ever been that confident probably isn't available to tell you how it went...
Apart from Liam of course

Variation – you have a multi tool and one minute to remove a part from your bike for use in the fight. What part do you use and which otherwise undefeatable animal can you win against?

There's probably something pointy on the multi-tool, I'd just use that rather than faff with my bike, reckon I could jab a screwdriver into a wolf's ribs, I'd probably end up with a ruined arm for my troubles at least though...

Obviously the Bombers or failing that the handlebar. Reach would be a good thing against things with big teeth or for smacking a snake to death