[Closed] Them new 'Minis', the fat ones

All Minis are rubbish

FACT

I think Andy should chrome-plate his little Staffy. It would look well cool.

All fat and bloated

The ideal STW car then?

All Minis are rubbish

FACT

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Recently leased one for my daughter, I like it, at first i felt it looked a little awkward but its really grown on me and its a great car to drive. Better than a boring golf/focus/civic by a long way.

Better than a boring golf/focus/civic by a long way.

I didn't realise people outside the mini marketing department found their product exciting. I'd suggest if you find a car used for transport on public roads exciting you try a track day.

Excitement is rarely a consumer product.

I have owned a classic Mini Cooper and a MINI One in the past, both were great cars to drive btw.

But did see one of the Countrymans I think thats what they call them, well the 5 door version anyway & sorry, the front end looks just so wrong!

Is there a reason they had to make it look so pig ugly?

Can we blame the US again?

This one, ewww!

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awful

Small Mini's are pretty cool, and serve a purpose as a small fun car - but big bloated MINI's??? Hmmmmm, can hardly call them MINI's any more then surely? Stretching the brand a bit there.

I'm I the only one who doesn't get all these so called 'soft roaders' and 'lifestyle' vehicles'. What's the point?

I always believe you should buy the tool that's most suited to the job in hand. If you want a practical car to carry the family that handles well then buy an estate car. If you want an offroader then buy a proper Landrover or similar. There's no point in compromising with some sort of half way house vehicle that's not particularly good at anything.

I didn't realise people outside the mini marketing department found their product exciting. I'd suggest if you find a car used for transport on public roads exciting you try a track day.

Excitement is rarely a consumer product

You obviously don't work in product marketing

I usually assume that any man driving a mini is either borrowing their girlfrend's/wife's car, or is a hairdresser.

I wish I could find a pic of the chrome one....

The ride in the BMW half series is terrible too.

And what have they done to make something SO HUGE so tiny inside? I'm 5'10", and my head was smacking the hand handle on the roof. There is no room to move your feet about either. This never happened in the proper minis, which were like a match box in comparison.

they are pretty gopping.... and how they can still call it a 'mini' is beyond me:

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All Minis are rubbish FACT

I had a an early mini: rubber starter button between the seats and string to open the doors and a gear stick about 4 foot long that disappeared under the dashboard (loose description), but with wide wheels and wheel spacers… …any corner and speed. But it was awful

Sold it to a mate who found a corner that it couldn’t handle and destroyed a brick bus stop and the tiled roof collapsed on to the car

Having seen the new bloated mini... ...its truly awful

You think the fat mini is ugly ?, I won't disagree, but its nowhere near as fugly as that nissan juke.
😯

Come on, there must be someone from STW that has one, please post and tell us we are all wrong & why 😉

Modern cars have to pass all sorts of new safety standards, have crumple zones etc so are going to be bigger. But the new Mini is horrible.

Personally, I think Fiat were much more successful with the new 500; they've managed to keep it simple and produce a cute 'little' car.

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It's the estates that make me want to poke my eyes out with a stick.

Agree with Elfin.

Way prefer the fiat 500. Not much bike room though 🙁

60% of Mini customers are male.

The 500 actually has some styling taken from the original as well

they are pretty gopping.... and how they can still call it a 'mini' is beyond me:

+1. didn't know about these new oversized ones until I saw one the other day and sicked a little.

Maybe they should resurrect the Maxi name for them. Or Allegro.

I think the mini (originally) had plenty of cues taken from the old one. As did the Beetle.

Modern cars have to pass all sorts of new safety standards

But sadly no "pass the sick bucket" standards.

Same could be said for the Citroen Picasso and Fiat Multipla but look how well they sold!

until I saw one the other day and sicked a little.

YES! This!

I find them slightly scary. In the way some people find clowns scary. Like a genetic mutation gone wrong, or a pumped up body builder with 'roid rage.

As we are drifting a bit, what does everyone think of the new Scirocco?

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As usual, sniffpetrol are pretty succinct in their appraisal:

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To me, apart from anything else it just looks a bit cross, like someone's just nicked it's chips.

cant agree more - looks like a 'normal' mini that has been inflated and is straining for a....

the fact i have seen plenty of nissan jukes around proves that some people just are not visually aware

but its nowhere near as fugly as that nissan juke

Now we're getting somewhere... saw one in the flesh the other day and did wonder how anyone with even close to 20/20 vision could be persuaded to hand over their own cash for such a disfigured lump of nonsense.

I absolutely bloody love the new Scirocco.

I mean just look at the font they've used for the badge. How can a typeface be so beautiful?

hp_source, +1.. you beat me to it, how did they have the gall to use the "mini" name on the new one?

As we are drifting a bit, what does everyone think of the new Scirocco?

I owned two Sciroccos during the 1990s and 2000s and was very fond of them, so I was ready to be outraged - but I think it's quite pleasant-looking tbh.

Mountain bikers have no business buying coupes though.

what does everyone think of the new Scirocco?

Looks like an elephant sat on a golf

the fact i have seen plenty of nissan jukes around proves that some people just are not visually aware

People over the road from us have just bought one, *sigh*, so I get to look at it while doing the washing up.

Buying a dish washer next week.

I like the new Scirocco.

I think Nissan Jukes are great. Anyone making radio controlled cars that big gets a thumbs up from me. Although I've even seen some on main roads, which is a bit naughty.

Just took delivery of my ever so boring Golf, very impressed after 3 years of having a Qashqai that was knackered after 18 months and nearly dead on its feet at 3 years and 86k miles on the clock

Some lads at work have ordered the Mini Clubman why is beyond me but each to their own, my Golf had a 26 week delivery time so must be a lot of boring people around or maybe its the Bluemotion engine and tax that's attractive

As we are drifting a bit, what does everyone think of the new Scirocco?

I'm biased (since I own one) but I like it. Different enough from a Golf and still relatively practical.

Mountain bikers have no business buying coupes though.

This is all made possible by the fact that it is actually a hatchback rather than a coupe, but nobody told VW.

Back on topic, the Mini Countryman is the worst bit of car design I've seen in years. Each design feature seems stuck on - there is no fluency to it. I feel ill from looking at the above pictures. I can live with the looks of the Mini Cooper etc (although they are terribly packaged with tiny interior space). Agreed that the Fiat 500 and VW Beetle are examples of how redesigning classics can be successful.

I take it you lot haven't seen the Mini Coupe they're planning on launching 😆

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My Mk2 Sciroccos were hatches too of course, and two bikes with seats down was easy.

I stand by my previous assertion though.

On another note, what's going on with all those ridiculous square shaped cars on the roads now? Are the drivers being punished for something?

The square cars are massive inside - the shape really maximises space. Form vs function innit.

That Coupe version looks as though it's been made with bits left over from other projects....all of which were abandoned due to their hideousness.

Truly truly gopping.

Am sure it will sell like hot cakes 🙄