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The apprentice.
 

[Closed] The apprentice.

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[#7392978]

Have we done it yet.? Bullshit bingo is go.


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 8:54 pm
 Drac
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Tuning in in 5,4,3,2,1.....


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 8:55 pm
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Let the bullshit begin


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:01 pm
 Drac
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It has.

I'm the Swiss Army knife of ...... 😆


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:02 pm
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Oh lord. What a shower of ****.


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:03 pm
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Bellends


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:16 pm
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Bellends

1st class ones.


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:17 pm
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I have experience of food.... I cook

I suddenly feel loads better about myself


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:19 pm
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Fish puns and The Apprentice, this should be a good one. 🙂


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:21 pm
 Drac
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I have experience of food.... I cook

To be fair she said she also has intolerances.


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:24 pm
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Fishcake target 300 , fishcakes made 89 ..... good start .


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:27 pm
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Who brought their mum in the garish suit?


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:27 pm
 Drac
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Who brought their mum in the garish suit?

Lovely. That's lovely.


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:32 pm
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There are a small minority that seem to have an idea.
The rest are just idiots


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:33 pm
 Drac
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There are a small minority that seem to have an idea.
The rest are just idiots

It's almost as if the production team picked them to be like that.


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:34 pm
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I'm predicting some "hilarious" fish puns from Lord Sugar. He'll tell them it's a load of codswallop.


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:37 pm
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Profits profit


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:51 pm
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Drac... You are a horrible cynic... They would never do that surely 😯


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:55 pm
 Drac
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I know it's a shock to hear TV is a lie.


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:56 pm
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I can't understand for the life of me why that show is popular, I lasted 5 minutes before I had to turn the tele over!


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:57 pm
 Drac
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For me I'm fascinated by human behaviour, you see it all on there.


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:58 pm
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I can't believe it.
That many personality disorders in one group is Def representative of the general population.
Am wondering if it wouldn't be safer to put them all in a set of padded cells and let them think they are on a show


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 9:59 pm
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I'm just glad to see they have upgraded to a fleet of T5's 😀


 
Posted : 14/10/2015 10:28 pm
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Didn’t see it – but found this two-minute somethingion on BBC iplayer:

The Apprentice: Honest Subtitles


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 5:49 am
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[b]sands[/b] - good link; thanks.

LOL at reference on Guardian page to the show as 'The Great British Snake Off'.


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 7:44 am
 LeeW
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Has Timmy Mallet had a sex change? Or at least loaned his wardrobe out?


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 7:48 am
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I can't understand for the life of me why that show is popular

Because you've worked with people like that. I have. We all have. They're usually middle management. Their promotions, and subsequent enormous ego's absolutely inexplicable. Until you see that they've got there though a combination of cynical opportunism, utterly shameless brown-nosing, luck, taking the credit for other peoples work, and a ruthlessness which means they'd happily beat their own relatives to death to get the next step on the ladder.

Watching the Apprentice you get to jeer and mock them for their utter uselessness, and see them exposed for the complete ****-wits they so clearly are, and their subsequent humiliation for their patent inability to perform the most simple of tasks. Then watch them fight like rats in a sack to apportion blame to somebody...anybody... else.

Plus... the dialogue is pure management-speak comedy gold 😀


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 8:53 am
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I can't understand for the life of me why that show is popular

Because we Brits love to prick the balloon of pomposity possessed by those whose image of themselves is equal parts excessive personal grooming and complete self delusion.


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 10:39 am
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[url= http://www.thepoke.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/CRGWvxRWEAA8oqg.jp g" target="_blank">http://www.thepoke.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/CRGWvxRWEAA8oqg.jp g"/> [/img][/url]


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 10:45 am
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The apprentice is utterly perverse viewing - You know that at some stage they are going to do something that makes you shout at the TV, its just waiting for the moment.
With the boy that was eliminated last night, at what stage did he (or the judges) think that having no sales experience would be an advantage? What really got me was the amount of effort that went into the buying / prepping / selling for very little profit. Goes to show why fish salads are so dang expensive.
Hopefully tonight we'll have some more classic management speak, more need of "correct specifications" and more stoppy women with awful hair and dresses.
Remember, I want to be a global phenomenon!


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 11:09 am
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Quality entertainment, love it.


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 11:58 am
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Binners has nailed it. It's everything and everyone we despise at work, set up for the world to mock it.


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 12:07 pm
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bunch of odd balls all believing their own hype....should be fun watching Claude Littner ripping them to shreds in the boardroom

quite a few of them deserve a visit from Binners with his trusty Bombers!! 😆


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 12:44 pm
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The Apprentice Food Selling Task.
Candidate 1: "Anyone got any experience with food?"
Candidate 2: "I eat food..."
Candidate 1: "You get my vote for PM"
Candidate 3: "and my vote"
Candidate 4: "mine too"


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 1:40 pm
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Watching it on iPlayer sort of in "the background".

The discussion of fishcake specification in the boardroom is f***ing hilarious!

The RN recruiters must be squirming, worst advert for a Royal Navy engineer ever!


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 2:02 pm
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should be fun watching Claude Littner ripping them to shreds in the boardroom

He is actually coming across as being quite softly spoken in the first episode. Perhaps he is holding back whilst they get bedded in a bit...


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 2:06 pm
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the aftershow thing was on BBC2 last night, it was on whilst I was waiting for something else. seemed to me that the normal one got booted off straight away to ensure that the Colin Hunt's remain so that they can be s****ed at

there's an undercurrent of cruelty here - everyone knows they are there to be laughed at and whatever prize at the end will be iron pyrites


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 3:01 pm
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candidate: you want to buy some fish fingers?
shop owner: no this is a vegan shop
candidate: so no fish then?

in the boardroom the same candidate said
candidate: Lord Sugar i was very disappointed that on the first task nobody wanted to put themselves forward as PM
Lord Sugar: well did you put yourself forward?
candidate: er no because this isnt my area and i was saving myself for a later task...

priceless!!


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 3:10 pm
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The discussion of fishcake specification in the boardroom is f***ing hilarious!

The RN recruiters must be squirming, worst advert for a Royal Navy engineer ever!

Oh I dunno. It shows that, even as the ship went down, he was still followign orders.

(Based on my experience of working with ex miliatry types, there are two categories: those who can think and lead and those who need to be told how to wipe their own arses with a step-by-step guide. Rather like work: there is management and there is staff.)


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 3:17 pm
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Because you've worked with people like that. I have. We all have. They're usually middle management. Their promotions, and subsequent enormous ego's absolutely inexplicable. Until you see that they've got there though a combination of cynical opportunism, utterly shameless brown-nosing, luck, taking the credit for other peoples work, and a ruthlessness which means they'd happily beat their own relatives to death to get the next step on the ladder.

The sales guy who had to be first at everything: Aaron Aardvark


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 3:30 pm
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Good lord above.

Is this rubbish still on the telly?

This particular 'show' had already moved beyond self-parody the last time I had the misfortune to see any of it (about three years ago).

To quote Blackadder (although he was talking about morris dancing):

Morris dancing is the most fatuous, tenth-rate entertainment ever devised by man. Forty effeminate blacksmiths waving bits of cloth they've just wiped their noses on. How it's still going on in this day and age I'll never know.

(Adapted):

[s]Morris dancing[/s] The Apprentice is the most fatuous, tenth-rate entertainment ever devised by man. [s]Forty effeminate blacksmiths waving bits of cloth they've just wiped their noses on.[/s] Twenty narcissistic tosspots in nasty 'what the Nazis would have worn had they been in Business' clothes and frankly scary make-up. How it's still going on in this day and age I'll never know.

What's Attenborough up to these days? Surely he could team up with Ray Mears for some kind of outdoors/nature type series or something???


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 3:47 pm
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there are two categories: those who can think and lead and those who need to be told how to wipe their own arses with a step-by-step guide. Rather like work: there is management and there is staff.

No need to ask which is which 😉


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 5:13 pm
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Lord Sugar gives the winner £250k from his net worth of £1,4bn. He's not going to worry if he loses the lot and many of the candidates seem to have a 1 or 2 year relationship before going their seperate ways.
Hardly a serious show except to push brand Sugar.


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 5:26 pm
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Can you remember who won the X Factor 2 years ago? No? Neither can anyone else, including Simon Cowell. The result is neither here nor there. The point of a journey isn't necessarily to arrive. The Apprentice is just the XFactor for a slightly different species of inexplicably overconfident bell end, who are too stupid to realise that they're not really the point.

It does still amaze me that they've watched the program and haven't fathomed this out. They really must be breathtakingly thick!


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 5:47 pm
 Drac
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What's Attenborough up to these days?

Well he's still doing TV but I guess as you've not seen him on Strictly you'd not know that.


 
Posted : 15/10/2015 8:26 pm
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