I've been on Romanian TV
Go Andy Powell! Just looked it up and I think he might be a genius. Great minds think alike I say!
Made risotto.
We have a winner!
I've done that too - joint first place?
I did some shopping once.
Wrestled a Pig
Ridden a Bull
Gone my whole life(so far) without drinking coffee
Played to a sell out crowd at Shepherds Bush Empire and other selected venues.
Appeared on Hollyoaks. 😳
Edit; Just for Torminalis 😉
Is Hollyoaks like Holyoaks but with an unfeasible amount of chavvy quim knocking about?
[edit]
Delivered my second daughter (with some help from my wife)
Killed, cooked, and eaten.
Slept rough in a large UK city.
Seen a teenager die in front of me.
Spent a couple of nights in custody.
Slept with a former high school teacher of mine.
Played county level sport.
Read 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintainance'.
P'eed in the middle of the night while staring at Everest in the moonlight.
Successfully sued a (ex)mate who owed me quite a bit of cash.
Fired a AK47 and M16 one after the other ... better than sex, well, it is at the moment anyway 😆
Went up in a tandem microlight thing, and said 'can it do stunts?'
Done a tandem paraglide in Turkey, and ... said 'can it do stunts?' (very close to vometing on both those occasions.
Ridden a motorbike through California with only sunglasses to protect my head.
Crashed a friends dads car, very long time ago this one, into a hedge at night when I said 'let's see what it's like if we turn the lights off?'
Spent the night in a police cell after trying to nick one of those big mobile crane things ... dunno why we did that, youth and too much ESB !
That is all for now.
I used to turn the lights off all the time over the west pennine moors relying on pace notes, as way, so we thought, of getting in the girlfreind du jours knickers..
Warra hot catch we were, eh girls?
Surf-Mat - MemberMade risotto.
We have a winner!
It changed me.
Been on TV
Rolled a go cart (after being told it was impossible during the safety briefing)
Curated an exhibition of my own stuff
Had some work published in a book
Entertained 200 people with balloons
Informed public policy
Been a ball boy for a premier league club
Flown first class
Shot a gun and bow and arrow
Slept under the stars
Broke into the olympic stadium in Athens
It changed me.
Add the stock too fast - sloppy mess. Too slowly - burnt pan. Just right - cracking meal. It is the sort of thing that can change a man for the better.
So why the **** did that guy win "The Restaurant" (Raymond Blanc TV thing) when he couldn't even nearly cook one?!!
Back to the original topic - my god there's some sanctimonious knob wavery going on here...
Yes I once saved an entire city by defusing a ticking atom bomb.
That was just after discovering a cure for AIDS.
And not long before swimming the Pacific Ocean twice.
Been chased (me on foot) by a herd of wild African elephants on a remote island in the middle of the [url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Okavango_Delta ]Okavango Delta[/url] in Botswana. Serious bricking it time.
A year later, was bush camping in Tanzania and was woken up by gunfire in the camp with sounds of people walking past our tents cocking rifles. Bricking it time again! (Turned out to be the Tanzanian police looking for a nicked truck - we were travelling in a truck).
Been called 'induraaaaaaaaaaain' by a crowd of lunatic drunken basques on a climb in the pyrenees.
Made it across 3 countries and one sea in less than 36 hours for the grand sum of £0.00 without performing any favours for lonely truckers.
Does a mosquito count as an animal that could realistically kill and eat you?
On a similar note, we was once chased through Bolton by a gang of black men intent on killing us, like Zulu it was... I never knew i could run that fast until that days..Out the back door of Astleys nightclub, across the wasteland, through a river and through Warmsleys paper mill back to Tonge Moor in a heartbeat!
Of those things that can be mentioned:
Flown Concorde first class (for free on business)
Eaten octopus in South Korea which was still moving
Lived in the Amazon
Been interviewed on Sky News as an expert on mobile phones
Cycled from my house to the most southern tip of Europe 😕
Had a novel published
Had my video about biking shown on Sky News
Been initiated at a secret tantra temple in Varanasi
Seen a funeral pyre on the Ganges
Smoked toé - the world's strongest and most dangerous hallucinogen
Been asked to perform two exorcisms
Been a guest at the Brit Awards, Mercury Music Prize and Sony Radio Awards
Hosted a party at the top of the BT tower
Had a colonic irrigation
Seen UFOs
And yes, I completed my Argentina 1978 sticker album 😀
Performed stand up comedy on TV
Was rude to Jimmy Edwards
Ran drunk down Mount ****
Windsurfed at Margaret River
Paraglided at Rhossili
Danced with Kate Moss (the Kate Moss)
Worked as a binman
Worked nights in a porkpie factory
Ran the KIMM/OMM with Ranulph Fiennes
Experienced the midnight sun in N Sweden
Had a chat with Rolf Harris
Been first on the scene at a couple of serious RTAs
Built a shed (a good one!)
Rode the TransAlp
Appeared in a film, a TV Drama and on a quiz show.
Stayed awake for 56 hours (without the aid of drugs)
etc etc...
I'm quite old though.
But I'm sure the best is yet to come....
Got the piano player in a 5 star hotel in Karachi to (try) and play 'Firestarter'
I havent posted on here the Ableton breakdown of how many samples were used in Smack my bitch up, have i?
Edited for blond moment
😯 at U31
I don't think much of this is willy waving - I did ask in the thread title, and people answered. Fascinating, it all is 🙂
The animal in question btw was a bear, and I wasn't really in much danger tbh. I could have run faster than most of the other people standing about photographing it. I would like to stress that it was a real wild bear tho despite the way it sounds 🙂
Oh and I also have had stuff published in a book. I wrote a chapter of a crappo budget book about the internet for a mate.
Flown low-level in a Tornado (passenger)
Flow a Harrier (second seat SnL only)
Flown a Sea King Helicopter (for 5 mins),
Flown to Gibraltar on a C130 - longest noisiest journey of my life, the landing was ace though,
Been Weighless (aircraft attempting fugoid),
Driven a car at over 150mph,
Sailed on a tall ship,
Been on an aircraft carrier,
Been underwater in a nuclear submarine,
worked within 2ft of an active nuclear reactor.
Met princess Diana,
Completed the Navy Leadsership course,
Seen people die 🙁
Wreck dived in the Maldives,
Seen the Easter parade in New Yok
Spent 2 weeks with the Royal Marines (music and combat),
Fired a pistol, 22 rifle, Vostok, SA80, GPMG.
Owned some nice cars,
Packed in a good job and career to persue a dream of going to uni,
Found myself in demand upon graduation,
Collected a great group of friends,
Married a great girl.
at 29, I've got a long way to go, but don't think I'll be famous like Simon up there.
Hired helicopters to fly up mountains so I could ride down.
Sky dived, microlighted.
Taken trawlers over the North Sea.
Travelled the world for 10 years.
Hunted big animals.
Had lunch with King of Spain.
Smoked a spliff in the dungeons of Windsor Castle.
Crossed several borders illegaly.
Fist car jouney after my test was to Barcelona.
Slept rough in UK and Israel.
Mimed guitar to about 100,000 scousers during the city of culture opening.
Been a bingo caller.
Got an honours degree.
Crashed a car and several mopeds.
Climbed some scary shit.
Had dreadlocks.
Killed a kangaroo.
Missspelt stuff.
Made cakes.
Had regrets but still glad I did it all.
Cried a lot when my dog died.
😛
Still lots to do.
Learned to drive my own car when I was 12.
Shot my mate up the ar$e with an air rifle.
Broke INTO school & nicked loads of gym stuff.
Had sex in the front of a Mini Pickup.
Fired an Accuracy International sniper rifle, a Heckler & Koch sub machine gun & a 9mm pistol in the same day.
Rode trials for 15 years.
Had sex with 3 different women in a 24 hour period (not that kind of period) (not hookers either)
Flown a helicopter, badly.
Sat in the front seat of a Tornado GR1
Been dumped on facebook chat......(i'm not over this yet)
Been Paragliding in Nepal
Beaten Bill Bailey in a drinking competition
Double orgasmed
That's it. i've never done anything else.
Wow you've all done some pretty cool stuff for internet forum finger waggers, well done chaps and chappeses, best thread yet.
Remember, we're all supposed to be fat IT middle managers...
Remember, we're all supposed to be fat IT middle managers...
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. [i]All[/i] those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... ooohh, it's time to log-off - pint, anyone?
"Remember, we're all supposed to be fat IT middle managers... "
No one told me that I'm in the wrong job......
I have googled "Tannhauser gate" 😳
But hey, jobs in IT come in handy sometimes, knowing how to google and all!
Wonder how much of it is actually true though (or at least not wildly exaggerated)?
I toned mine down a bit.
grum - Member
Wonder how much of it is actually true though (or at least not wildly exaggerated)?
It's all on the internet, it must be true.
Mine are VERY toned down, just trying to remember a few cool things really.
I once shot a man in Reno
Mines all true. some of the more scurrilous stories will remain secret tho
Rode a 1961 BSA to Moscow and Nordkapp in 1990
Maxed out my BMW R1100rs ( 140mphish)
Wheelied a GSXR streetfighter at 90 mph - accidentally!
Slept rough for months in Australia
Been on telly
I have:
a helped make happy family
produced 2 fine sons
remained true to my wife since the day we met
bought a home in MTB heaven
set up my own small but beautifully formed business
acquired sufficient toys to keep me amused
an enormous level of contentment
🙂
oh I also once ate an entire set of fuzzy felts
Was that just to watch him die MrNutt?
Once had Afternoon Tea with Eric Morcombe.
Been on telly
Was it on that show, Argumental?
Well mines all true, whats the point in lying on a forum to people you don't know?
And my best shag place was in Bergen Court House on a leather couch with a lawyer(female) I picked up in a bar. That was a pretty wild night.
The above is purely to willy wave and show off. 😆
I once blew my own trumpet...
.
.
.
.
.
No, seriously... I can play the trumpet.
This is making me feel a bit miserable now, actually. Bugger all, I have done.. 🙁
I drove across the USA in a car borrowed off an Eskimo I met in a bar
Been down an Olympic Bobsleigh track, not as the pilot/driver sadly
Seen a man roger a jack russell, (the dog, not the former england wicket keeper).
I have driven all over the USA tho. In various cars, none borrowed from native Americans however.
Ulitimately these are unimpressive and garner no man points, but in the typical stw demiographic at least, seem a bit unlikely:
I once recieved a pay cheque from the Gendarmerie (de France).
I have been friends with a nun.
I treated someone's gammy leg wound with maggots.
