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miserable old twunt was always in the living room.
might have to rename the room.
😆
Well this was interesting...
Is this real? In 2015?
MIL says that she noticed he wasn't moving and was cold this morning a good 18 hours ago, but thought he was just being a nob again so ignored him.
That's gold
5 days of mourning has started.
I've been to see him and either he is a good actor or he is dead, he didn't move much when alive though. Washing the deals hand is an odd thing to do.
Washing the deals hand is an odd thing to do
Cleanliness is next to Godliness
Did you fly over? Or were you already in the country?
^ drove we are about 200km away. I;ve left the wife to the madness and taken our 4 year old away for a few days. Not really the right place for an excitable 4 year old.
I imagine if she grabbed grandads hand one last time, as it was hanging out to being washed it might all go a bit benny hill.
This is why STW is so good. Just occasionally you get absolute classics.
It's just like Father Ted as gwaelod said.
Different cultures etc
This so needs to made into a sitcom
I'm still hopeful of a reenactment of the funeral scene from 'What we did on our holiday'
But with less affection
Thai's are a special breed eh!
I bet his pockets had been gone through!
You say he was lazy and selfish,are you SURE he is dead and not just trying to get a free bed bath?*
*Posted because the OP is listing in a similar vein.
Is it an Irish thing to bring the body home for an overnight stay? I've got a shed for that.
Spent a fair bit of time in Thailand none of this surprises me.
Was only there yesterday and i miss the crazy place 🙁
Best to use the string and bell.
In case he wakes up 6 feet under.
In the spirit of the thread:
Is he still dead?
You mention he was lazy.
Are you sure he wasn't just dead?
Wow. Just... Wow 😯
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So where to start:
5 days of mourning in short, from a miserable gits view, in a lengthier than normal post.
Arrived at temple on Saturday, dropped wife off, took daughter away for the night, possibly two to get away and let MrsQ take care of the shit storm that was brewing. Headed out to the countryside to see old friends
Sunday, feeling hungover, I need to inspect some furniture shops for work. During this MrsQ calls up asking if I am coming back. Call came about 2 minutes before I had planned to splash out and stop at the Renaissance hotel for the night.
Head home, to find that the house is being over run by the cast of last of the summer wine, Thailand, and a Thai look alike competition for the drunk father in Father Ted. They maybe managed a half set of teeth between them.
This is the point where I realise that coming back was a bad move. These are country folk, and the only way to communicate is to shout over the top of each other, while drinking Lao Kao and beer.
I speak to Mrs. Q, do you want me to stop in a local hotel for a few nights to free up the bedroom, you can squat there with the rest of the tribe. Mrs Q agress so I book into a nice local hotel.
I stop overnight, ear plugs with me, I can just about manage the noise, the dogs barking, the people shouting, the inlaws shouting louder and louder over the top of each other. I only nearly snapped once, when aunty, uncle, or whatever behemoth it was at the top of the stairs came up them and then proceeded to shout down stairs to continue her conversation, before walking back down having done nothing.
The scum stayed down stairs for the first night, never daring to venture up and meet the slightly irritated, but trying to be pleasant because their relative had deiewd foreigner.
Monday morning, plans in place to go to a hotel Mrs Q asks me not to go, can I cope with the hoarde, in a moment of unselfishness, I said OK. It was about this point where a drunken, toothless creature climbed the stairs, pissed all over the toilet floor and broke a tap at 7:30am in the morning. 50 quid lighter from cancellation, I can see this was a mistake.
I took miniQ out for the day and left. Driving in Bangkok traffic is more appealling than listening to the BS downstairs.
The evening, I returned to find the hoarde appears to have now multiplied consideraby, there is now 25 or so people, camped out in the downstairs living area. We may now have a full set of teeth. The noise is louder than ever, and some I half recognise - a couple of brothers of the father, and some estranged neices and nephews, odd, not sure why they are here, but anyway.
I chinned the chiuwawawawawa that one of them left down stairs when they went to the temple that evening. Either that or I let it free, it followed me upstairs, jumped on my bed and pissed on it, so I locked it in the outside kitchen area hoping the neighborhood snake got it.
Tuesday came - We had family business at a land registry office, so had to go. We all escape.
Mrs Q needs to unload - a shortened version.
Mrs Q contacted most close relatives, said if you have money come, I will feed you , and let you sleep, otherwise don;t worry.
Mrs Q brother called every estranged waste of space oyxgen zapping piece of fecal matter and told them he, MRs Q really, would give them whisky, food and money to go home.
Mrs Q is livid, brother is a moron, we now have even more people that didnt give a shit about her dad here and they want feeding.
MRs Q scum sister number 1 announces to everybody if she was getting insurance money for her dead father, she would be buying them all boxes of whisky and beer not just the single bottles Mrs Q was buying
Mrs Q ripped her apart in front of the family, a rare thing for her to do, telling scum sister 1 that she can have the insurance money if she wants it and she is welcome to buy everybody what they want, it would be the first time she has ever done this. A classic loss of face move there by Mrs Q, and well executed.
The vast majority, read all, of the people down stairs never cared about her dad, had no interest in him in life and only with the 5 day free party have they come out of the woodwork.
Oh look there is cousin number 3 or 4, isn't that the one that aborted her first child with a coat hanger and a bottle of coke in the school toilets.
We got away for the morning . it was nice, and then Mrs Q found out that scum family had not visited dad in the morning or lunch to take him food, yes he is dead still, it's a buddhist thing.
Scum family hoarde were too busy, I assume drinking from 6am again, to bother, although they all sounded as if it was important.
Scum sister 1 &2 discuss insurance money and splitting it, MRs Q again reminds them they can do what they want, they seem happy with this.
The hoarde is at breaking point, they are using the upstairs bathroom, and I have to keep the doors locked upstairs as we are now sitting on about 2,000 pounds in 'tambon' or merit money from the relatives and neighbours, mainly neighbours, probably given in relief that FIL is now gone.
There must be 30 of them now.
Today is funeral day, lots of changes of plan, I kept thinking it will be over soon. Traipse to the temple 9am, sit arounde, watch monks eat, get bored, leave to get some food as miniQ and I don't fancy worms or food poisoning, come back, crowd is now at 50 or so strong, appears we miossed the walking around the temple bit, but still time for photos at the coffin with the family.
Death flowers - get them from monks, chuck them on the coffin before it burns. VERY VERY VERY bad luck to give to a living person, must only be picked up off a tray. Caught naughty neice 1 trying to give her flower to Mini Q, gave her a right good bilingual bollocking for that.
Aftermath - still 15 people downstairs, I don't know why. I don't care anymore. I've got a pile of cash to sort out with Mrs Q, greedy relatives that want to know how much it is.
Some nonsense about picking up ashes tomorrow and lots of crocodile tears rolling down scum sisters and brothers eyes every so often.
Talks of what to do with dads ashes. Scum siblings have all said chuick him in the river he would like that, I know the real reason is none of them can be bothered visiting him in the temple wall or house if they keep him here.
Death brings out the worst in people, and when they are bad already, it magnifies it exponentially.
Mrs Q wonders why she is so soft with her family, she feels sad that she couldn't help her dad, and yet she was the only one who did.
Normality will resume soon. I hope.
I hope you find some peace
^I will, i'm popping into the Bangkok site tomorrow to do some work.
Bloody hell.
Glad you're nearly out the other side of it all 🙁
Wife is all upset that she could have called an ambulance now.....not in Bangkok traffic she couldnt have.
Remember being sat in a traffic jam in BKK. There was an Ambulance just in front with blues on just sitting there, unable to move as no one would move.
Wonderful country with some very strange ways.
THere has been campaigns recently on TV to try and educate people on this, it worked, for the few weeks the ads were on, and now it is back to normal.
If you are in an ambulance, you are pretty much stuffed, better chance being thrown in the back of the first responding pickups and being raced to hospital
I'm sorry but that little rant earlier doesn't belong on here Quirrel, that needs to be on the stage, I'm imagining it being delivered by Billy Connolly.
When's the movie out ?
You must really love Mrs Q! I spent a couple of months in Thailand in my youth; loved the place for a visit, but there is no way in hell I'd marry into it! Your posts in this thread have reinforced some of the prejudices I came away with (I appreciate that this comes over a bit 'I'm not racist but..'; I'm not proud of myself either!).
Remember being sat in a traffic jam in BKK. There was an Ambulance just in front with blues on just sitting there, unable to move as no one would move.
Wonderful country with some very strange ways.
People will move closer to the vehicle in front to stop an ambulance getting a head of them. Over here, ambulances are treated as queue jumpers.
Bangkok or Telford?
No one is ever prepared for a sudden loss like this but I hope that during this difficult time you may draw some comfort in the knowledge that your late dearly departed father-in-law is now at peace. Please accept my sincere condolences and congratulations.
MIL says that she noticed he wasn't moving and was cold this morning a good 18 hours ago, but thought he was just being a nob again so ignored him.
😆
Funniest thing I have read in months.
To finish.
This morning I dropped decent SIL at the temple to meet wife and useless sisters to pick up ashes. He was to be dumped in the river following some chanting.
When we got there, we were taken up to the incinerator to collect them.
There on a large baking tray was FIL or at least what was left of him.
Bits of skull were at the top, a rib across the middle, a femur near the bottom of wait for it......
A stickman made out of his bones. beside it was a carrier bag of ashes.
Some magic was done, coins placed on this figure of a man made from burnt bones, and put some flowers on it.
mini Q said loudly " what sort of magic is this then?" I left to go to the office.
Took them up country to a river in the afternoon and it is now all done, bar the woman with a child down stairs, not sure where she is from,
Edit
Premature posting:
I've never seen the final stage of the funeral process, I didn't feel it was appropriate to snap a photo or I would have, I do have many questions, such as do they make a stick woman for a female.
Wow. Shame no photo though!
Terrible. Bizarre. Ultimately, in time, as funny as sh1t, I would guess. You couldn't make this up. Good luck with the road back to normality OP
Have a good friend, been mtb-ing in Morzine together a few times, his brother died in a diving accident and his Thai girlfriend emptied his bank account of £20k as she was "grief sticken and needed consoling". She'd told the family she'd registered the death with the bank but had done no such thing. Some very bizarre behaviour in Thailand.
This is all a bit sad, what's most funny about it all is ernie_lynch popping up every now and again with his 'condolences' posts.
Quirrel do you need to call people scum, its really not very nice.
Quirrel do you need to call people scum, its really not very nice.
they are, no other adjective really describes them,