#dontbeastalker
I read that as Don't beast Alker.
🙂
yet the bloke is still legally expected to be the "breadwinner" in divorce cases. Even when there's a new bloke on the scene.
not true, you split the debts and costs going forward are split too. Going forward you are two adults. It was my money she could not tell me how to spend it and I had three children, all with me.
New man? Has no bearing on the split.
For sanity drop all the emotional stuff and ignore it. It has no benefit and goes nowhere.
This isn't a situation you win, its about dealing with it and the right result for all including the children.
Good to see she moved out.
Thanks for the update. As we've said many of us have been through similar so try and take comfort in that.
The children are equally yours do not allow your wife to use them as a negotiating tool, you will get approproate access and your kids will always love you assuming you treat them properly which I am sure you will. You can always give your kids extra treats or pay for things outside of a formal agreement. From a financial perspective you want fhe minimum legal commitment. As for her lawyer being a "bitch" thats just trying to intimidate you, standard practice/tactic and in many respects the other lawyers job. As above make sure financial agreement is final so she can't come back for another bite.
Good luck and keep us in touch as you wish.
They are your children, not her children always remember that, you have as much right as she does. For the rest of it, that's lovely, chin up, smile and move on with your life with dignity.
But also remember to do the best for the children and not use them for simple point scoring against the ex. That might mean that you don't get what you want, you just need to show them that you love them.
Hi All
I just wanted to give an update on my situation 12 months on, this thread really helped me at a pretty low point in my life and hopefully will help other in in the same situation sooooo that fact that im posting means i didn't do anything stupid 😀
[b]The Divorce [/b]
I am now divorced, the process was simple but very stressful, i was well and truly shafted by my solicitors who charged extortionate fee's for basic advice and filling in template for forms, i i knew what i knew now i would have done it DIY via wikivorce
[b]Finance[/b]
the finance situation has been a bugger and taken a big chunk out of my life savings, again huge amounts paid to a solicitor but in this case it was unavoidable as they offered a mediation that my ex and i would not have reached an agreement without, i am unhappy with the result but i have to just suck it up as i married her and the law is the law.
[b]Children[/b]
The children live with me 50/50, its great 🙂 and the ex and i do communicate fine with regards to them, though we rarely see each other or speak in person but we do have a parenting agreement and always communicate amicably via text.
[b]Personal life[/b]
Well its been interesting, ive found out that its not a complete loss out their for those my age, in fact ive been more successful this past year than any other time in my life 😀
so whilst my life did fall apart last year im finding that rather than try replicate or mourn what ive lost ive accepted my new life and started to see all sorts of opportunities... i have a lot more free time, i travel a lot more, i cycle a lot more and i go on dates.
Im definitely a different person now, most people comment how good i look and seem much younger 😀 , im tanned from holidays, ive been hitting the gym and lost my dad bod, i have a very fashionable new wardrobe, ive got loads more confidence from Tinder dating, im relaxed and take life at my pace now. (in fact most married mates say they are jealous haha)
So all in all life is not too bad and i just wanted to let you all know i appreciate all your kind comments and if anyone comes across this thread when they first break up i just want you to know that its probably going to get worse (a lot worse) before it gets better, but keep your head down dont worry about what you cannot change and focus on the things that you can, accept your new bachelor life seize the new opportunities and make it a good one (please dont sit in the pub.....go to the Gym!)
love you all xx
Top stuff chap...
Light...end of tunnel...etc etc
DrP
So does this mean you can finally reveal who you really are?
so whilst my life did fall apart last year im finding that rather than try replicate or mourn what ive lost ive accepted my new life and started to see all sorts of opportunities
A lesson there for everyone I hope - always darkest before the dawn and all that - and well worth the update just for saying that.
love you all xx
Love ya right back man. Sounds like you've come through this like a champ.
Great update that 🙂
[img] https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQYXuB2LWQBRcJ8r-aSCL6TI6sdLfs1ok4FbEeER18fPBPtWKxjRQ [/img]
Result! Happy for you.
🙂
Good news, well done.
Like that elderly US spitfire pilot who got posted on here said, when the flak's coming up at you you've got to keep looking forward.
Great to see the update and to know that you've found the silver lining to the cloud.
i have a lot more free time, i travel a lot more, i cycle a lot more and i go on dates.
If I wasn't thinking about getting divorced before, I am now 😉
Love you too you great big softy 🙂
Very happy to hear it. I had a train crash of a marriage amd divorce especially. A million times happier now than ever and in fact remarried - thats what I wanted and it's done. I have to confess I did more ridng between marriages but thats partly due to injury
Happy days OP
So does this mean you can finally reveal who you really are?
Enough spelling and grammar errors I'm sure we can work it out. If he'd stolen a bike half the forum would know his NI number by now 😀
Glad it's worked out alright OP, always nice to get updates.
So does this mean you can finally reveal who you really are?
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Glad to hear it's worked out for you, well done.
Going through exactly the same process. Although to be fair, we are so far agreeing on the split so it's just a case of sitting with a joint lawyer and having the paper work drawn up.
Also, on the lady front...couldn't agree more...plus zero stress and games. If you get on, can have a good chat and a laugh then away you go!!
Sweet man - sweet.
Glad it has mostly worked out. Finance thing a bit of a bummer, but in the course of a lifetime it hopefully isn't that big a percentage.
Very pleased that life has turned around for you OP. All the very best!
i have a lot more free time, i travel a lot more, i cycle a lot more and i go on dates.
If I wasn't thinking about getting divorced before, I am now
Certainly doesn't sound too bad when you see it like that...
Really chuffed for you OP. Glad to hear things are working out.
😆If he'd stolen a bike half the forum would know his NI number by now
That made me smile but not as much as the OP's update.
Power to you OP. Keep going.
Missed this at the time. Nicely done OP and great news re the 50/50 - equal parenting negates using access as a weapon in the years to come although it doesn't always stop one parent trying. Sure this will give hope to those yet to experience the many challenges of divorce. Tinder remains a mystery to me though and hopefully always will 🙂
