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English not as a first language perhaps? It sounds a little like the Indian “please do the needful
Yes, I first got it from Indian colleagues, along with your equally hideous example. But it's spreading, and the use of 'myself' when what should be written (or said) is 'me' is now endemic.
I, slightly irrationally, hate the use of “off of”. Sounds terrible and is often used when “off” or “from” would suffice.
Roadies do it too
TBF to both roadies and DH’ers, they’re often have English as a second language, I don’t think i could do justice to superlatives in French or Italian any better.
Not watched any of Bernard Kerr's YouTube material then?
Swap out
The very worst of Americanisms. Sadly used all the time in the mtb community.
As offensive as hearing middle aged English bikers screaming “yewwww”
God I’m old and grumpy.
A pet hate of mine is using fancy language to make things sound more scientific than they are. I once read a bit of nursing reaeach entitled " an ontological hermanutic approach " now im well educated and well read but had to resort to a dictionary to have a clue what they meant. They meant "telling a story"
I have also replied to emails from my bosses that are full of similar jargon with " I dont understand this. Could you translate it to plain English please"
Always goes down well but you usually do get a translation
"Is it in yet?"
Starting every sentence with ... "So, .... " 🙂
"could care less" is another pet hate when someone means couldn't care less.
!!!!
!?!
????
and sometimes just ! instead of a .
You don't make a statement more exclaimy by adding more marks. You don't make a question more asky by adding more marks. A question can't be an exclamation.
Fun fact: the written form of Joy in Greek is io. the i is placed over the o. (in Greek grammar). It's thought that it's where the exclamation point comes from.
smiffy
A question can’t be an exclamation.
Then what is an "exclamatory question"?!?‽
I love using ?!? to make a question more exclaimy! See?!?!
The use of "y" to imply an increased quantity or amount.
e.g. "more exclaimy", "more asky".
PS I am happy to move this complaint to the "grammar you hate" thread, but I seem to have mislaid it.
?! puntuation mark even has its own word - interrobang.
First to see will buy, or greedy builders merchants patter
we can't even buy it at that price
A one word phrase only heard from commentators at a Scottish 2nd Division game stramash
Heard it being used last night Kilmarnock v Partic Thistle
Whatever
“Does my bum look big in this”. :O)
That one has had a turn of events.
it used to be - My bum looks big in this 🙁 Now we have - My bum looks big in this 😀
I personally hate.
'It's a game changer' - usually it isnt.
OR
'Broke the internet' - means nobody to this point has heard of this.
To quote a Love Island favourite…….100%, rather than I agree.
The use of “y” to imply an increased quantity or amount.
e.g. “more exclaimy”, “more asky”.
Er, isn't the "y" just turning a verb into an adjective?
It's the word "more" that's increasing the quantity surely.
Which is pretty much what more has done for years.
“Does my bum look big in this”.
"Does this dress make my bum look big?"
No, your fat arse is the root cause there, love.
(I'm never having sex again, am I.)
game stramash
I had to look that up
“Does this dress make my bum look big?”
Can be countered by, "the style really suits you but what about the accessories?"
No real knowledge of what it means. I will caveat that you should never deploy the question if you are within 30 minutes of your leave time.
Still relevant.....
I'm not saying a roundhouse to the temple is the answer or it's because she is black and women and hitting a women who says stupid things is fine or whatever, what am I saying, anyway..... 😉
I think what I am saying is there is a direct link to how much fairy lights and stencilling they have in their houses!
Oftentimes
(I hate even more that my phone suggested that too)
When comedians say 'umm' between jokes like it's punctuating, but they are just looking for validation.
Once you hear it, you can't un-hear it.
Just saying
Have a good rest of your day.
"looks like a ruptured achilles tendon"
I have a headache
When comedians say ‘umm’ between jokes
Dara O'Briain Is really bad for this
Chaos...
As in any news story that has, for example, the phrase "there were scenes of chaos today at Heathrow today..."
Chaos is defined as a complete absence of order so, unless Heathrow airport suddently turned into a large pink dragon called Derek that farts lemon drizzle cake and emplores everyone to listen to his rendition of "Fix you" by Coldplay while the St Winefreds school choir backing band dances the Can Can and Boris johnson tearfully admits that his hair is not his own, there were most definately not scenes of chaos. It was just that the baggage reclaim in Terminal 5 wasnt working properly for about 20 minutes.
Oh, and here's another vote for "lets watch love island"
"I'm sorry but..." no, you're not.
'I don't do (insert social media platform of choice)'
Like as if its some really big important thing, even worse when they clearly do via some link to another platform.E.g. 'I don't do facebook' but they still have a feed that is auto-updated via their TikGram account or whatever.
Fury at ......( insert any aspect of cultural or political life currently being manipulated to annoy ageing white people)
The use of tsunami to just mean “a lot of”
"I'm not being funny, but..."
Chaos is defined as a complete absence of order so, unless Heathrow airport suddently turned into a large pink dragon called Derek that farts lemon drizzle cake and emplores everyone to listen to his rendition of “Fix you” by Coldplay while the St Winefreds school choir backing band dances the Can Can and Boris johnson tearfully admits that his hair is not his own, there were most definately not scenes of chaos. It was just that the baggage reclaim in Terminal 5 wasnt working properly for about 20 minutes.
🤣 This is the greatest thing I've ever read, today. 👏👏
Yeah but...
It's like people getting upset about the use of decimate. There's a literal meaning and there's common meaning, if you look up chaos in MW, it's example of a use of chaos is
"snow caused chaos in the region"
So y'know..?
But, props for the mental image of Heathrow though. 🤣
‘In your own time, junior/ kiddo.’
“Living my best life”
I always assume that it’s being said in a wry or ironic sense, in the same way as “living the dream”.
or “sunlit uplands” 🙂
Overheard a football match being described as "an absolute game!"
Eh?
Dara O’Briain Is really bad for this
And Jo brand, but if I could pick two people to be snowed in with for a long weekend, in a pub, I certeinly won't complain, I love them both, superb people.