[Closed] Phantom pooer at work

Got any similar experiences?

Strangely, no.

Which of those three smells of poo?

A turd keeps appearing in the shared showers

On the floor or does she leave it in the soap dish?

depends which bit you sniff

Got any similar experiences?

I had a poo once.
Those were the days.

Feed one of the suspects sweetcorn then wait, continue until culprit found.

Security checked CCTV and it can only be one of three people.
It just so happens that one of those three happens to be the girlfriend of one of the suspects.

So, there are three suspects - Chappy and his GF and A N Other?

I think it was probably Colonel Mustard, in the shower, with the colonic irrigation kit, however.

On the floor or does she leave it in the soap dish?

In the tray

 

A turd keeps appearing in the shared showers.

The same one? Wow - a homing turd.

Is it boomerang-shaped?

weigh them as they go in/come out?

shake each of them firmly by the hand.

After each shake sniff your hand and wrinkle your nose in disgust.

Whichever one blushes is the culprit.

[img] [/img]

The story-
There has been some mysterious going on at work. A turd keeps appearing in the shared showers.
Today it was reported again by a guy.
Security checked CCTV and it can only be one of three people.
It just so happens that one of those three happens to be the girlfriend of one of the suspects.
Coincidental??

So one of the possible depositors is the gf of the bloke who found it?
It's obvious:
Neither of those two.
Must be the turd man.

Sorry.

[i]A turd keeps appearing in the shared showers[/i]
[i]What’s going on?[/i]

Dunno. Is it the same turd every time?

Is one of them French?

*Applauds Rusty!*

thestabiliser - Member

weigh them as they go in/come out?

What, the poo?!!?

You sicken me....

I just had to log in to post [i]*s*****[/i]

In tray eh? Your suspect is the person not tall enough to shit in the soap dish.

[i]In tray eh?[/i]

Out tray might be a better term.

Perhaps install a few of these in and around the shitzone.

If it continues, sack all three. It could be a scat-ring.

[img] [/img]

Security checked CCTV and it can only be one of three people.

So the other 2 are happy to see a turd in there?

It's not the first person who went in is it and unlikely to be the second. Unless they're all into to scat.

Hang on, let's think logically here.

Surely the third person in was the one who reported it?
If so, did the second person have a shower?
If they did, that's yer mystery crimper, right there.

Obviously, if the second one in didn't have a shower, could have been any of them.

Perhaps the aforementioned turd was laid in another place and brought into work?
Frozen, maybe?

Maybe its the ghost of Bobby Sands?

Ahhh, toilet terrorism.

This is an [i]actual thing[/i]. I've come across it in workplaces before: employees vandalising toilets, often creatively employing their various bodily excretions.

In my experience, it tends to occur in workplaces with low morale, where employees feel disempowered.

It's a cry for help, only with poo.

Maybe they're transporting the poo in there rather than creating it on the scene?

Maybe you should start frisking people as they go in for contraband?

wwaswas - Member

Maybe you should start frisking people

TBH if the person doing the frisking knows they're suppose to be finding a concealed poo, they're probably not going to frisk very hard

Can you leave the offending turd and see if the phantom shitter piles them up.
Surely by that time the normal users would have stopped using the shower facility revealing the culprit as the only remaining user.

@wasnotwas

Hmmm, here's one I prepared earlier, quite possible.

I wonder if you could get a Poo Peter badge for that?

🙁 sorry, I'm running on empty, I strained hard but that was the best I could manage.

Sounds like they are owed some time in loo...

Flicker, nothing to follow through with?

years back i worked at Ikea on weekends whilst at school.

at one point the bathroom display area was being re-vamped and was screened off with thick plastic sheeting. when it came to the grand opening an unpleasant smell was emanating from one of the toilets. the loo seat was lifted to find a massive turd (as thick as a man's arm, so i am told) sitting at the bottom of a dry, not-plumbed-in toilet.

nice.

If it continues, sack all three. It could be a scat-ring.

Do any of them look like this guy?

derek_starship - Member
It could be a scat-ring.

Wiping tears from my eyes!

dannyh - Member
A turd keeps appearing in the shared showers.
The same one? Wow - a homing turd.

Is it boomerang-shaped?

I guess that would be a [i]poomerang[/i] then

[i]at one point the bathroom display area was being re-vamped and was screened off with thick plastic sheeting. when it came to the grand opening an unpleasant smell was emanating from one of the toilets. the loo seat was lifted to find a massive turd (as thick as a man's arm, so i am told) sitting at the bottom of a dry, not-plumbed-in toilet.[/i]

One of my friends' children had a number twosie in a display bog in B&Q once 🙂

We had this happening at my workplace.

Turned out it was the person who kept reporting it who was doing it, trying to get another employee sacked.

His positioning of poo's was very creative, mind.

My nephew at the age of 3 left a massive jobbie in the loo of a house we were viewing on an open day.
I ran out, got hubby, told him to leave now and drive off, hubby saying why? It turns out the water had been turned off and I had no way of flushing this horrible, smelly thing away 😳

dandax1990 - Member

We had this happening at my workplace.

Turned out it was the person who kept reporting it who was doing it, trying to get another employee sacked.

[b]His positioning of poo's was very creative, mind[/b].

Do tell.

Bunnyhop - I can't believe youre still blaming it on your nephew 😉

He once wrote the alphabet on the cubicle wall.

Once took a dump on the flusher handle.

And once right on the toilet seat.

Top bloke.

A job for her curl poo roit..

Everyone had their suspicions about him when he took a dump in the trough in a pub before our works christmas do.

Do other peoples work toilets have a scattering of nose-pick around them?

A few years ago I worked at a very large corporate and trap 3 on the 2nd floor had a very big booger collage on the back of the door.
I never worked out who the phantom booger artist was, but I had my suspicions.

I think who ever it is has gone round the U bend.

You need to flush out the culprit

check the cubicles every turd hour

etc etc etc