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Next question- what new bike with her money?
I was about to ask when you were going to change your username...
So sorry to hear of your loss.
I love that Julie has gone on her terms and that with the support around you, you’ve been able to honour that. You’ve done her proud.
like many you have got me welling up.
scotroutes
Next question- what new bike with her money?
I was about to ask when you were going to change your username…
*s****s*
you know, we should start a hall of fame of legendary bikes - TJ/Julie's tandem, Northwind's Mobius frameset, Al's carbon superframe, ...
Sign me up for tjcare
Apart from the kissing bit of course 🙂
That post was brilliant, really speaks volumes about you both as people and your relationship together.
Ta guys. enough already. You will make me cry!
That post is in danger of making all of us do the same.
Next question- what new bike with her money?
What's your address so I can send you the bill for a new keyboard and the cleaning cost for the carpet? 😁
Have a damn good cry TJ because I am after reading your post up there
When the time is right please let us know what we can do to celebrate her life
I had heard she was not well but no idea that it was like this.
My condolences, she was great when I worked with mutual clients in the CEC offices.
My thoughts are with you.
Sorry to hear this, TJ. My condolences.
Edit
And **** cancer!
I want to say a little more about the decisions we took and why.
When it comes my time I hope I have someone like you around..
Thank you for such a beautiful and generous post TJ. I have copy and pasted it for future reference.
Lots of love TJ
Fabulous post TJ (the second one, I mean. And the third. Not the first though, that was shit)
When my time comes I hope I have someone like you to care for me. Not you, obviously, but someone with your sense, your kindness, and your strength.
I can see why she wouldn't want a long drawn out ending mind - 42 years of you is plenty for anyone 😉
Look after yourself. You're in my thoughts.
That had me crying. More hugs.
so sorry for your loss TJ, my deepest condolences from my family to yours. take care of yourself mate.
just seen your bike post - lol
My condolences TJ. Terribly sad news. It sounds like you all made her last days as good as was humanly possible. Tears running from reading your post above. Actually both posts, but tears in different ways!
Geez fella! Seems to have got awfy dusty in here after reading that.
Sounds like Julie had a stellar partner in you and when the time comes, what more could anyone wish for? All the best chum, thinking of you.
theotherjonv
I can see why she wouldn’t want a long drawn out ending mind – 42 years of you is plenty for anyone 😉
Lolz
Awww crap. Tough one. But sounds like you two had it all, right up to the end.
TJ we might have our different opinions on digging trails on council land...
But my deepest condolences for the loss of a loved one.
I hope things get better for you.
Henry.
Yep, it’s dusty tonight. My condolences TJ.
Rather than a new bike, have you thought about a dog?
(runs away having lit touchpaper)
Really sorry for your loss. She sounds like a lovely person, you got lucky!
So sorry to read this TJ, so very tragic, I can’t imagine how you’ve feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.
So sorry to hear that. Such sad news.
Oh no. Very sorry for your loss TJ.
As the late great Fred (Whitton) said that was a 'proper job'. To leave this life on your own terms is we can ask for.
My condolences and a man hug
Mike
Next question- what new bike with her money?
Priorities correct too!
Sorry to hear of your loss. Genuinely touched by all the love and support in the comments on here. Adding my own to that.
TJ I've sat with family members while they died. I share your opinions on assisted dying and can only imagine how difficult it must be for a partner of 42 years but it really does sound like she had a good death and I salute you for a job well done.
I'm sorry for your loss.
PS a red one and a new helmet.
Really sorry for your loss but I’m glad you were able to use your experience and the support of your closest friends to provide the dignified ending you describe. You’ve clearly done all you could in those tragic circumstances. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of amazing memories from those 42 years together.
Sorry to hear this TJ, thoughts with you and your family.
☹️ big hugs TJ. Stay strong.
R.I.P Mrs T.
TJ, thats brutal to read. Loads of love to you from my family and I. RIP
You're on the list of folks I want to meet now I'm back in Scotland, somehow more than ever I want to do that now.
best wishes and loving vibes, TJ
Sorry to hear your news TJ, look after yourself.
Thanks for your recent post TJ, I hope Julie and my sil can enjoy being stokers wherever they may be now.
Next question- what new bike with her money?
And there was me wondering if it was too early to ask about the tandem, chin up fella 🤗
So sorry for your loss TJ. She sounds like a great lady.
Very sad news - thoughts are with you TJ. RIP Julie.
Jeezo, just not fair.
very sorry to hear this TeeJ
Soooooooo sorry to hear this TJ! Having lost loved ones to Cancer myself already, you have my utmost sympathies.
Sorry for your loss TJ
Sorry for your loss TJ.
TJ, so so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you. Deepest condolences. Dave.
Ta guys. enough already. You will make me cry!
this place has been a useful bit of normality for me over the last few weeks. I needed that.
I want to say a little more about the decisions we took and why. I think this might worth saying.
I am an experienced palliative care nurse. Its not what I have always done but I have done a lot and enjoyed it and was good. Julie worked for McMillan although not in a medical capacity. We knew what was going on and were generally only waiting for doctors to confirm what we knew.
We reach a point ( Julie was already in hospital at this point having had a blood clot) where the treatment is palliative chemo only with low likelihood of success. Julies choice at that point is that she wanted to go home in some way. I wanted to do her care. She however insisted that I promised her to stay inside the law as a precondition of her letting me do this. We have both been stanch advocates of euthanasia. She knew damn well i would be tempted at some point. She also told me. “Don’t let me linger” she knew 3 weeks without food, 3 days without water. Thats roughly how long a human body lasts. We also knew she only had a few weeks no matter what- less than that where she will want to interact with people
well thanks for that tightrope to walk love!
We got her home and she managed to see all her dear friends and spend quality time. She was on a syringe driver containing ever increasing doses of opiates. finally she runs out of energy to do anything. at this point surely the big pill is appropriate? But remember my promise?
At every stage julie took the decisions. When she started to get scared some nice benzos were added into the mix. She floated away for most of her last week. she got the very best of care from lovely new top quality bed linen to feet rubbed with e45 every night
Our friends rallied round in a fabulous way. fresh home cooked meals delivered every night. anything we wanted was there just for asking. we tried to think of the most ridiculous thing we could ask for – a Llama? turns out a friend knew someone with a field full and one nearly turned up!
Iona and my friends gave me the space to ensure Julie had the best death our laws allow. we succeeded in that. I kissed her good night. she smiled. I settled down to sleep to wake for her last breaths
She died a peaceful dignified death with her loved ones around her and at the end thats as good as any of us can ask for
i have good memories of this last month. That will nelp me heal
Sorry to quote a whole block of text, but that's one of the most difficult but equally beautiful things I've read on here.