My wife's sister got married somewhere exotic and expensive and it ended up that we and her parents couldn't afford to go. They made promises that they would have a uk reception when they got back but it never happened. Her mum was pretty devastated. Parents both died a few years later (a week before our wedding
Friends and their three kids are off to a family wedding in Mexico later this week. Sounds great but has financially screwed them for the whole year.
So glad we did cheap and cheerful close to family.
if they really care they can have a do back here as well as that is what my mate did. Hire a hall all get pissed. not expensive
Seems like the really upset people in the OP aren't the engaged couple (not even clear that they GAS whether OP and his wife show up) but the OP's wife.
Far better than a registry office in Hull.
WTF is wrong with Hull ....eh ! typical middle class response, bet youve got a beard and work for the BBC and eat pulled pork eh !
😀
[quote=hora ]What's the problem?
Did you not bother reading anything he wrote (no, don't bother answering that)?
[quote=squirrelking ]At the end of the day the couples wedding is about THEM, nobody else. So long as they accept that the choice of venue means people cant reasonably make it then whats the problem?
The problem is when they don't accept that, because they think it's so much about THEM that everybody else should drop everything for THEM.
The problem is when they don't accept that, because they think it's so much about THEM that everybody else should drop everything for THEM.
Without wanting to come across as an argumentative dick, did YOU actually bother reading what I wrote?
But I agree that in the situation you describe that yes, that would be unreasonable. But as I said, if the couple accept that people might not make it, what's the problem?
Wow!! Some heated debate 😆
I get why my Mrs is annoyed as it would probably be just us out of her family who can't go as a complete unit. Hopefully she will tell her brother this weekend, as she has gone oop norf visiting her family with the kiddies.
At the end of the day the BIL and his Mrs are going there as it's cheap for them to do it out there. That's fine and I get that, as getting married can be expensive, but what isn't fine is "if" and I mean "IF" we start to get guilt tripped about it all (I know what some of her family can be like).
The reason we got married in the Uk was that we appreciated the not everyone we wanted to be there would be able to afford it.
There are times I'm glad we live 80 miles away from them 😆
I would probably go, then again, i'm generally up for any trip abroad and a party.
But if I was the one doing the inviting, I wouldn't think twice if someone knocked it back. I didn't to my a mates wedding in dublin one time as I was skint and refused to get into debt for him. It wasn't the end of the world, we're still good mates! 😀
in short, don't worry about, it is unreasonable to expect people to fork out a fortune and they need to be sensitive to people ability to pay it.
I bet the wedding won't be in term-time either - so if your kids are school age factor in the fine/criminal record too! 😀
My sister got married in Kenya (she was living there at the time) cost me 2k when I had nothing, I felt it was OK to say my presence was her present...
They could set up '[b]Live Video[/b]' feed so both groups can watch and party (drink) to the newly weds 8)
Worse than foreign weddings are Friday weddings imo. At least with a wedding abroad it's easy to decline to go on cost grounds without upsetting the bride and groom, whereas for Friday weddings in the UK it's much more difficult. And why do people get married on a Friday? Because it saves them £1k. Pretty selfish not to realise that the 80 people you invite have to take a day off work at much higher total cost than that.
Most people get paid leave from work. And you're getting fed and entertained so quit your whining!
We got married on a Friday, we didn't save a massive amount (wedding was cheap by most standards) but it was the only time we could get key family members and the photographer we wanted. If we saved £1k that would of been over 20%!
We gave about 8 months notice and it was a bank holiday weekend- giving folk extra time to recover!
I have no issues with people marrying abroad, provided
- the couple accept without resentment that they may have no guests attending, as its a consequence of their decision on location.
- no one is emotionally blackmailed into attending the event, esp if they have to use up annual leave or are not rolling in spare money.
- the couple offer to pay all costs of flights/travel/accommodation to anyone they send an invitation to.
I think its about time couples stopped assuming other people view a wedding as an event they should be grateful to be invited to attend.
Attending such events has become a huge financial burden when you add in 'destination weddings' even if out of region but still in the UK, plus gifts, clothing, stag and hen all weekend/all week events and the attendance costs of multi-day weddings (meal Friday night, wedding Saturday, family get togeather Sunday morning/lunch before going home).
If you choose to go abroad, particularly somewhere expensive or difficult to get to, you absolutely have to be flexible and understanding that it may not suit everyone, but its ridiculous to suggest the bride and groom should pay all travel and accommodation.
Unless you're putting on a local wedding for local people only. In most cases not all guests are going to live locally. Certainly the last half dozen I've been to have required travel and overnight accommodation, only one was a "destination" wedding, the rest simply because not all my mates live in the same place as me.
Ours was abroad, only about 25% of our guests lived in Edinburgh like us so for the majority the cost was no different to fly to France than come to Edinburgh, accommodation was also about a quarter the price in rural France compared to central Edinburgh. As it was the whole thing was way cheaper than anything in the UK so we chose to subsidise accommodation at the venue for those staying with us.
Get married where you like. Just don't expect me to watch the video.
Just don't expect me to watch the video.
😆 I work with a guy who expected me to give up my lunchtime to watch his exotic holiday video on Youtube. I politely told him to jog on as a) I didn't want to sit and listen to his willy waving and b) I can only look at a beach and waves for so long on screen. He was genuinely shocked that I didn't want to watch it.
