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So, today I've been span around in a "spiny swingy thing" until I nearly vomited in my mouth, had my sore cold hands coved in urine (latter stages of potty training), and this eve I managed to catch a turd in my hand in a "mid air can't hold it any more" type moment.... (he was stood in shower, on came sudden urge, wife swings him round to sit on loo, I see turtle head coming out, and 'instinct' took over - that bad boy wasn't touching terra firma....)
Oh the joys of parenthood!
DrP
Rather you than me.
The first 18 years are the worst.
Oh the joys of parenthood!
Think of the payback in a few years when they'll be doing the same for you.
until I nearly vomited in my mouth
where else would you vomit?
Oooh Good catch Sir !!
until I nearly vomited in my mouth
where else would you vomit?
On a small child's head....
DrP
Think of the payback in a few years when they'll be [s]doing the same for you[/s] looking to put you in a home as quickly as possible and ignore you as you're and doddery old embarrassment and smell a bit funny.
We are not all SS Tazzy 😉
wait till the second one comes along! lol
Indeed. We had a yellow poo explosion (right up to the chest of the body suit) from kj02, in a shop whilst kj01 just spotted the toys...... And then discovered only 2 wet wipes remaining....
Oooh Good catch Sir !!
I hope you put it down before you gave yourself a little round of applause!
Considered adoption?
You should've caught it, then slammed it down like you'd scored a touch down!
Last night we confirmed that it is defintely the extra cheese on a pizza that disagrees with my 6 year old - despite our best efforts, her bedroom still smells like a rancid cheese toastie.....
I had the pleasure of scooping a turd out of a small swimming pool while on holiday which was deposited by my baby daughter.
I didn't think the swim nappy was needed. Oh the looks from the other children.
I had the pleasure of scooping a turd out of a small swimming pool while on holiday
yes youngest son provided that pleasure for me to do. oh how i could feel the stares of other parents at the pool side. 😳
Considered adoption?
Think the OP needs to get a bit more practice in with his own kid before he takes any more in 🙂
The older ones eventually help with the younger ones.
The other day, lil grips (aged 3) was calling out to mummy from the bath. Just a second! Mommyyy! Just a second! MOOOOMMMYYY!! etc. She was stood there holding a turd cupped in her hands.
I'm typing whilst sat on a beanbag. It was peed on a couple of weeks ago. We let it dry out then I sprayed Frabreze on it.
We were in a fish restaurant in Fowey the other week, MrsGixer was having a look through the menu, i was walking around with BabyGixer having a discrete look at the two attractive young waitresses when BabyG puked all over the floor - young waitress numebr one was not impressed. i handed BabyG over to wifey, sat down and rolled up my sleeves to have a look through the menu - the little sh*t had managed to puke inside my sleeve, not nice.
Last week MrsG was on the phone to my mum, i'm lying on the floor playing with the little fella, holding him above my face when i see the white projectile leaving his mouth as he smiles at me, can't throw the little blighter away, so i have to flick my head to the side - baby vomit in the ear - i swear he targets the hard to reach places 😯
iPhone double post
Even held at arms length my two always seemed to manage to get enough projection with their vomit to ensure they hit my shirt, tie and suit jacket as well as my trousers. They only ever chucked as I walked through the door after work and were handed/ thrown to me in a 'he's been playing up all day and I've had enough' kind of way. I think they didn't dare do it to their Mum so saved the treat up for me.
I once found imjunioramused playing with her own poo in her cot. The nappy had come off and she and the cot were smothered in the stuff 😥
I remember lying in bed in the morning, holding baby binners over my head, swinging her around, giggling away. Then it all clearly got a bit too exciting, and she wee-ed all over my head. The joys indeed...
Actually... she's 8 now.... think she may need reminding of this. Maybe in front of all her friends 😀
I once found imjunioramused playing with her own poo in her cot. The nappy had come off and she and the cot were smothered in the stuff
+1 A fairly accurate depiction of the dirty protests in the Maze, I thought.
Just before his first birthday we took Junior Balanced to Greece. During the coach transfer he had one of his 'special poos'. The kind that no nappy known to man can contain. It overflowed on to Wifey's lap, the seat and then the floor.
I feel your pain.
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Get him something to read, worked for us.
DrP, been there done that ! When these years are past you'll look back fondly. I'm trying to encourage my daughters not to make me a granddad too soon
...
Wait until Norovirus arrives in your house.....