Naff ways to get in...
 

[Closed] Naff ways to get injuried

Posts: 0
Free Member
Topic starter
 

About three weeks ago I was just getting out the shower, drying my hair with a towel (I don't use a lot of effort I don't have much hair), when I felt a pull/crack in my neck. It was no big deal, just a bit sore when I turned my head to either side. That was until this week when it's flared up and I'm in agony from my neck and across my right shoulder.

Been to docs and he thinks that it's soft tissue damage which flared up after going out on my bike on Tuesday night - even though I've been out 3/4 times before that since the original pull. He recommends that I don't ride for a week or two and has given me some huge anti inflamms to take.

When I was a teenager I broke my ankle in 4 places when I twisted my ankle after slipping off a kerb.

Any other naff STW injuries?


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 8:36 am
Posts: 23321
Free Member
 

Does having small, infectious, biohazards for children count as an injury?


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 8:37 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

A few weeks ago my missus was doing a half marathon and I went to watch, saw her near the half way point and was walking across Cardiff to meet her at the finish (a huge distance of 2 miles...) and stood in a small pothole twisted my ankle and nearly didn't make it to the finish 😳


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 8:41 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Putting on my socks.

(My back seems fine, no aches and pains, but sometimes putting on my socks is just a bit much for my back)


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 8:42 am
Posts: 3989
Full Member
 

My sister went on a skiing holiday earlier this year. Dislocated her shoulder taking the cover off the hot tub.


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 8:43 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
Topic starter
 

Quite possibly jam bo!


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 8:45 am
Posts: 1751
Full Member
 

I went to the national centre of excellence for British Gymnastics to have a go on all the equipment with a couple of top coaches, you know, massive trampoline, foam pits, bars, rings, long springy trampolinish run thingy, the works. Broke my little toe by catching it under a closing fire door as I left the loo after a nervous pee before the session. Most ridiculous injury ever. (Still participated in the session though, was only a wonky toe after all)


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 8:47 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Fell off turbo trainer when my seatpost suddenly snapped. Tore cruciate and meniscus.


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 8:47 am
Posts: 23321
Free Member
 

I guess it counts as self inflicted...


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 8:47 am
Posts: 417
Free Member
 

Did my back in trying on a pair of walking boots in Decathlon the day before I went on holiday. Could barely move for a week.


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 9:25 am
Posts: 0
Full Member
 

Pectoral strain. Chuffing hurt that, did it over compensating on my right side from an bruised rib on my left..

Ferchistsake 🙄


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 9:27 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

A few weeks ago I had a day off work so decided to go along to our daughters weekly swimming session with my girlfriend to see how she was getting on. She's only 19 months so needs holding onto, whilst flapping her arms around she managed to poke me in the eye with her finger.

After a couple hours of unbearable pain I thought I better go to the hospital and get it looked at. She had managed to put a deep scratch across my cornea with her fingernail and the chlorine from the pool was irritating it too.

The worse bit was I had booked the uplift at gawton for the day after 👿 I did think in the morning I could still go and ride with just one eye but the sensible voice in my head said riding gawton while not being able to see properly was going to end up with another hospital visit, I did have the bike in the car at that point though 😆


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 9:29 am
Posts: 14691
Full Member
 

Pissed up Thursday night, fell off a kerb - bruised ribs, sprained ankle, sore knee and elbow


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 9:50 am
Posts: 28592
Free Member
 

Strained my hand badly trying to pull my self on top of a pool inflatable. Still hurts occasionally three months later!


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 10:10 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Had my kneecap dislocated in a stealth attack by a fat women who lost her footing on a grass bank. I was stood back to her having a beer after running the Crich 10k. I went to pick my niece up who was about to be obliterated by the free falling fat knacker who consequently landed in the side of my knee and my foot just stayed proper planted. Stung alot, and 4 weeks off the bike.


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 11:06 am
Posts: 228
Free Member
 

Hopped a small (1ft) fence in the park Easter 2015 on the way to the shop and tore some ligaments in my ankle landing on it funny. Couldn't weight bear for 3 weeks and it still aches now occasionally, 18 months on.


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 11:16 am
Posts: 3903
Full Member
 

I did my back Thursday night sneezing - struggled to bend to get my shoes on yesterday.


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 11:35 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
Topic starter
 

Some good ones. At least I'm not the only fragile one!


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 11:54 am
Posts: 943
Free Member
 

Bent over to get shoes out of wardrobe. Did something to my back and spent a month shuffling and hobbling around in agony. Don't know what I did but docs advice was to take up swimming - never did.


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 11:58 am
Posts: 23309
Full Member
 

Tore something in my knee whilst standing on tip toes to paint the ceiling.

Still knackered 2 years later.


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 12:04 pm
Posts: 17
Free Member
 

Packed the car for a weekend away climbing, all ready to go and I went to get some ice blocks from the freezer and dropped a block of frozen chilli on my toe. Probably broken I reckon still feels funny a few years on


 
Posted : 22/10/2016 12:05 pm
Posts: 14691
Full Member
 

Turns out the rib was broken.

How long to ride after a broken rib?


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 5:41 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Completely ****ed my rotator cuff reaching to turn out the bedside lamp...
It's taken months to heal, but after a lazy day in bed today, it's sore as **** again 🙁


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 5:46 pm
Posts: 3273
Free Member
 

How long to ride after a broken rib?

A friend of mine broke his recently and was back on the bike (gently at first) after about 3 weeks. Everyone heals at different speeds though, best rule is if it hurts, don't do it!

After all the stupid things i've done on bikes, i went out 3 weeks ago to meet some mates. Rolling along a flat gravel fire road, twisted a bit, felt a twinge in my back. Been in agony for 3 weeks, even Naproxen, cocodamol and codeine only take the edge off. It was getting a bit better after 2 weeks but I managed to re-do it. 🙄


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 5:52 pm
Posts: 24775
Free Member
 

Injured a rotator cuff playing tug-of-war........

with a puppy 😳


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 5:59 pm
 ton
Posts: 24258
Full Member
 

snapped my banjo string, whilst me and the wife were 'courting' prior to getting married.

and any bloke who has will know what pain is.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:06 pm
Posts: 17428
Full Member
 

3 hrs of techy slippery roots today with no issue, overtopped a manual in car park at end, afternoon in minor injuries and plastic surgery for big hole in arm at 8 tomorrow am. What a fanny 😳


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:09 pm
 Spin
Posts: 7762
Free Member
 

Sex game gone wrong.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:11 pm
Posts: 45988
Free Member
 

I tripped on the stairs and badly broke my finger - dislocated and pointed up and back towards my wrist...


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:11 pm
Posts: 10194
Full Member
 

Similar to ton,but with the added fun of thinking...ooops better put something in the big bleeding tear to clean it....witch hazel, I had about a millisecond, before the enormity of the cockup entered my slightly drunk mind and spent the next 15 minutes or so curled up in a small ball screaming


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:15 pm
Posts: 1448
Full Member
 

I broke the 5th metatarsal in both feet doing star jumps.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:15 pm
 Bear
Posts: 2346
Free Member
 

Broken arm throwing a tennis ball when I was 10, and put a hole in my throat sneezing......


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:19 pm
Posts: 2653
Free Member
 

At a kids play centre, I went to kick a ball that had come out of the ball pit, kicked the floor instead (no shoes on) and broke my little toe.

When I was a lad, I kicked my brother so hard, I twisted my ankle and couldn't walk properly for a couple of days.

When I was around 7 or 8, I walked past a honeysuckle plant, which scratched my cornea. I had to wear an eye patch for what seemed like ages after.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:21 pm
Posts: 193
Free Member
 

Suffering with man flu I gamely continued to make something for tea which involved using a hand blender. At some point blender got blocked at which point I used my finger to clear it and switched it on with the other hand. Still don't have much feeling in the tip of that finger years later...


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:22 pm
Posts: 3314
Free Member
 

Something similar to Ton too, 😳 although not with his wife.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:30 pm
Posts: 43878
Full Member
 

Plastic surgery for big hole in arm at 8 tomorrow am. What a fanny
That's not the usual place for it but self gratification will be interesting.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:36 pm
Posts: 426
Free Member
 

I contrived to give myself tennis elbow shaking the coffe plug out of the basket. Didn't have anything to knock it out on...


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:38 pm
Posts: 44666
Full Member
 

Chopping onions with a nicely sharpened knife - removed the tip of my finger and had to take two weeks off work because of infection risk!


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:39 pm
Posts: 33029
Full Member
 

Put my back out at Kirroughtree on my first visit there a few years ago - bending over to strap LittleMissMC into her buggy.

Put my back out lifting a 4 pint carton of milk out the fridge at work.

Put my back out while sneezing at work.

Put my back out squeezing into some big tights before an early Sunday ride

There's a theme there.

My mate broke his wrist - resulting in an impressive titanium Meccano set up to repair it - after a trip to Manchester velodrome for the taster session.

He never actually made it to the velodrome - was cycling there when he clipped the wing mirror of a parked car and landed awkwardly. Apparently.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:47 pm
Posts: 17428
Full Member
 

Scotroutes, maybe you should take up Fortune Telling, you predicted my fall the other day 😀


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:47 pm
Posts: 341
Free Member
 

on a safety course, the lecturer told us one of his previous students had put his fingers intro a vent axia fan almost amputating them, when asked why he saidbease the fan was keeping him awake and he wanted to stop it.

a mate visiting his elderley mother, in a and e with a broken hip, fell over the curb outside and riped the muscles inhis leg came in limping ,jeans ripped open and bloodied knees.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 6:57 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Anterior shoulder dislocation (general anesthetic to reduce and used as a teaching case) riding round a car park.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 7:21 pm
Posts: 43878
Full Member
 

[quote=iainc ]Scotroutes, maybe you should take up Fortune Telling, you predicted my fall the other day TBF , I can follow that up with; "it will snow this winter" and "the next pope will be a catholic".


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 7:22 pm
Posts: 17428
Full Member
 

Hmmm.... 😀


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 7:27 pm
Posts: 14
Free Member
 

Showing my partner's 7 year old son how to use a skateboard without hurting himself had a pretty predictable result.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 8:00 pm
Posts: 9226
Full Member
 

Strained my hand badly trying to pull my self on top of a pool inflatable.

Well! I can only hope the pool was empty at the time.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 8:02 pm
Posts: 13554
Free Member
 

Fell down a flight of stairs trying to avoid a Wasp. Badly cut head and mild concussion as a result.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 8:32 pm
Posts: 1082
Full Member
 

Was repairing a fence in a field for horses. Once completed and walking back across the field I saw a big red plastic ball and decided to give it a kick after a big run up. It moved about 3 inches. Turns out horse balls are filled with concrete. Cost me 4 broken toes to find that out.


 
Posted : 30/10/2016 8:41 pm
Posts: 71
Free Member
 

Broke my little finger by sitting on it. Never straightened again!


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 6:37 am
Posts: 293
Free Member
 

Rolled my ankle yesterday on a stick covered in leaves 🙄 can't put weight on it this morning. I am a dull oaf.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 6:48 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Adjusting a sun bed whilst sat on it, it sprung back and smacked me across the bridge of my nose - broken nose


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 7:00 am
Posts: 9104
Full Member
 

A mate of mine broke his heel stamping on a Quality Street one Christmas. He was frustrate that it was the one with a nut in.

we laughed. A lot.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 8:10 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Two broken ribs from walking into a bed rail at work!
Fell over the dog and broke my middle finger.
Scalded same finger as above two years previously at work showering it with boiling hot water. Burn dressing for 3 weeks, then it got infected.
Fractured nose, and dislocated shoulder hitting a tree on mtb back in 2008. Had a MUA to shoulder. And it still causes grief to this day that shoulder.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 8:19 am
Posts: 6
Free Member
 

I popped my right shoulder pushing down on my Aeropress 🙁 still hurts, three weeks later.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 8:59 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Got up from desk after sitting with legs crossed (like they tell you not to - turns out there's at least one good reason for that...), my foot had gone to sleep and I went over on my ankle - torn ligaments.

Ironically this was a couple of days after I'd crashed hard enough to break a helmet but come away completely unscathed.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 9:12 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Today I had to use myself as a chock to stop the car rolling down a hill. I felt pretty stupid and my foot hurts.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 9:17 am
Posts: 458
Free Member
 

My dad once broke two ribs doing the hoovering. He tripped over the cord and fell onto the main hoover body.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 9:31 am
 nach
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

I once knew a guy who did skydiving, surfing, motocross, all kinds of stuff. He had a massive surgical scar on his elbow, and when I asked him how he did it: "I was standing in a gravel car park, my girlfriend shouted me, I turned around, fell over and smashed my elbow to pieces".


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 10:08 am
Posts: 460
Free Member
 

I finished a MTB race (back on the old days), took helmet off and the chin strap hooked into the front spokes, flicked me off and I fractured my skull.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 10:11 am
Posts: 396
Free Member
 

earlier this week the wind whipped the lid from the guinea pigs food box behind the hutch - lean over to pick it up - bit of a click - go inside to tidy kitchen and every time step sideways knees collapse, go for bike ride and can't straighten up and knees collapse when try to walk other than in straight line 🙁

couple of trips to get back clunked and did a 60km road ride yesterday and felt fine - dog thinks its in heaven as supposed to walk lots - i feel like forest gump but happy


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 11:17 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

playing 5 a side, went up for a header at the same time as a bloke with glasses which got embedded in my eyebrow ,causing grown men to retch at the sight of exposed bone and plenty of crimson, six stitches and an Austin Powers scar


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 11:27 am
Posts: 2871
Free Member
 

A friend got himslef a pukka wooden boomerang, a real nice piece of craftmanship. Took it to the local park, read the instructions and launched it into the air. Incredibly, it flew first time, just as it should in a pleaseant curving arc, he was so mesmerised by it that he just stood there as it flew right back and crashed into his forehead. Quick trip to A&E for several stiches 😆 😆

Oh, how we laughed...........


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 11:37 am
 scud
Posts: 4108
Free Member
 

This would be my chosen subject on mastermind!

- Broke nose as a teenager at a party, went to be sick in loo, threw up the toilet seat, knelt down and it bounced of cistern and came down and broke my nose.

- Had left ear lobe hanging off when a scrum collapsed in rugby and i ended up with someones sharp stud through my ear.

- Worked (for 2 days) in a chicken & turkey slaughter place near York as a student, carrying the portioned meat from +5 degrees in to the "blast room" which was about -20 degrees, i got severe frostbite in my upper thighs, was taken to York hospital, where every student doctor had to be trailed in to look, then sent to burns unit in Leeds, where again every junior doctor had to have a poke with my with my trousers round my ankles as they'd not seen frostbite there before.

- Crashed when rear wheel fell to bits on "the worlds most dangerous road" in Bolivia, dislocating the left shoulder snapping o the head of the humerus and putting the brake lever through my thigh, had to have shoulder pinned the first time in Bolivia, then again when i got back to UK, as UK surgeon said they had done such a poor job and they'd used screws that looked "like they'd come from Bolivian B&Q"!

- Snapped the tendon in my right thumb (after months of wrist pain on bike) whilst changing channels to Nickelodeon for my daughter.

i could go on, i'm a walking hazard...


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 11:48 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Not me, but an accident prone team mate.
Managed his first race in what seemed like months without a single problem. Even went for the sprint, and podiumed.

Managed to slip on the stairs up to the stage for the prize giving.
Blood everywhere. Including local dignitaries.
Concussion. 2 weeks off the bike.

Wouldn't have been so bad, except he'd made a big deal out of changing his shoes so he wouldn't slip on the cleats.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 11:53 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Dropped a cannon across my legs, still got no feeling down my right leg 20 years later.

Drilled a hole through my Index finger with a 6mm drill bit, only stopped because the drill hit my nail on the other side. Still no feeling 2 years later.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 11:58 am
Posts: 9
Free Member
 

Managed to give myself mallet finger (detached tendon) by putting my hand in my pocket after getting dressed.
Shredded my hand when using a wire brush attachment on drill, ooh look the skin has gone really white, then a second later to RED as the blood flowed.....


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 12:02 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Hot water machine thing at work

The original had the handle on the side and the hot water spout on the bottom.

It got replaced by one with the handle at the side and the hot water spout projecting from the front.

I wander in, stick my coffee mug underneath the machine ( as I always did) and pull the handle. Boiling water pours out of the spout, all over my hand and forearm.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 12:03 pm
Posts: 66083
Full Member
 

I went for a job interview- which I got, incidentally- with a cut in the middle of my forehead like Harry Potter's lightning bolt. Nice and fresh- wee bit scabby, wee bit oozy. All because, 2 nights before at the Reading Festival I'd given up on the cheap, already-repaired acoustic guitar I had with me, and decided to get my brother to safely dispose of it by smashing it on my head.

Later on, the scraps ended up on the fire so we got a second stupid injury out of it- a random passerby picked the neck off the fire to pretend to play it, apparently not realising that burning things can be hot. So he ended up in a&e.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 12:09 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Landscaping my back garden all summer. fell down a 2' drainage trench (I had dug and stepped over a hundred times) whilst treating myself to a beer, torn ligaments. Job on hold
1 month later I whacked my thumb with a rubber mallet and had to have part of the nail removed to relive the swelling/blood blister. Job on hold.
Took last week off to catch up for all the time I've had off sick, first weekend I sprained the same ankle whilst carrying a bag of cement down a step. Job on hold?,,,,,,, nah, I soldiered on.
Saturday night rushing to get the flagging finished I hit the same thumb with the same bleeding rubber mallet and suffered a compound fracture which will result in me loosing the tip of my left thumb.
Just glad I've got a new 11speed AM hard tail , probably a lot less risk of injury and I only need 1 thumb to change gears


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 12:25 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Kev, a mate of mine (yeah honestly) used to be a big Subbuteo fan. He organised leagues and tournaments and had the cloth pitch nailed down to a nice half inch thick piece of MDF which he would lay on the floor to play.

All was well until he went for a particularly tricky shot that was on the other side of the pitch. He moved forward and put his weight on his knee which happened to be half on - half off the edge of the board.

As he played the shot his knee slipped off the edge of the board and twisted and he was in agony.

To cut a long story short after a doctor/hospital visit he ended up being on crutches for about four weeks.

When people asked him how he did it he would explain about the Subbuteo but got the pee ripped out of him so much that he just started saying "I did it playing football".


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 12:30 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Put my neck out coughing on the way into school, which left my head tilted involuntarily to one side for a few years.

Also fractured my wrist jumping off a moving swing, backwards. I was five.

An old house mate of mine broke two ribs crashing a micro scooter he'd nicked from a party into the back of a parked car.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 12:33 pm
Posts: 45988
Free Member
 

Descend a double set of steep steps onto a narrow steel bridge.
All good.
Glance backwards at the bottom, and shoulder slam into the bridge support and handrail leaving dented steel and very sore shoulder with added 'cheese grater' effect....

Me. Yesterday.

Plum.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 1:20 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Least you had something to hit.
Last person i saw do that ended up waist deep in the river, holding on to their bike (but uninjured).


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 2:19 pm
Posts: 968
Free Member
 

Where to start,

Fell asleep drunk sitting on a wall, woke up started walking landed on my chin.

Burnt forehead with a red hot drill bit, same weekend plaster suspended ceiling tile collapsed in my hands and burst the bridge of my nose.

Broke nose when pulling an armoured cable down and out of a lamp post.

Nearly fell down an open grating on a rooftop, luckily I managed to grab something to stop me, unluckily it was a right angled piece of aluminium that went into my wrist.

Most idiotic was riding on the bonnet of a car when the driver decided to slam on the brakes, resulting in much road rash a couple of stitches and a horrendous scar on my hip!

I could go on.....


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 2:55 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

I'm off to Yoga tonight (hot Yoga apparently) for the first time, I'll let you know tomorrow... 😕


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 4:01 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

On the morning of our wedding my wife and I went out for a quick spin on our road bikes. She was just in front of me and came off on a patch of ice. I swerved and missed most of her - except I ran over her ring finger, which then swelled up to twice it's normal size. Not best pleased.

Also once gave myself septicaemia by nicking the top off a haematoma on my shin whilst shaving my legs for road racing. Four days in hospital on antibiotic drip and the horror of a leg three times its normal size. Could have been worse - the fella in the bed next to me had the same thing on his groin from injecting heroin with dirty needles.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 4:19 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Lol at @MattOAB - you were so brave you didn't mention it at the time!


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 4:20 pm
Posts: 45988
Free Member
 

you were so brave you didn't mention it at the time!

Gerit offered me one of his 'Mr Men' plasters...cheeky....


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 4:45 pm
Posts: 44666
Full Member
 

I remembered another one. When draftflow beer cans first came out I cut one open to see how they worked. Looking at the two cut halves of the can I thought I should make them safe before putting in the bin so I scrunched them together, They slipped and put a nice cut into the web of my thumb. A&E and stitches plus I had to tell them in A&E how it happened and my profession ( nurse)


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 5:34 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Standing in shower Xmas morning and slipped, toes went down plug hole and foot carried on resulting in two broken toes.


 
Posted : 31/10/2016 5:53 pm
Page 1 / 2