[Closed] my Father has died

Sorry to hear your news.

Bad news, chief. Grief can be a complex thing, so try not to fight it, and don't beat yourself up - decisions taken were done so for good reason. Your son wil be fine with it.

Definitely time for a south Manchester catharsis ride.

I've not seen my dad for around 16 years, and one day will have the same news. I imagine that although nothing will change on a day-day basis...the finality that his death has brought is going to knoc you about.

Have a beer with your family, hope all is well.

hora, i saw my dad 3 times, once when i was 3, then when i was 16 and in his coffin.
never knew him, but still felt a bit sad at his funeral.

chin up mate.

I'm very sorry to hear this.

Condolences Mark.

I'm pretty much estranged from my dad too. Can't ever truly sever the familial bond though.

When you loose your dad no mater what the circumstances are its going to be a bumpy ride. I think in yours it will only add to the pain, find someone you trust to talk to about it,it'll help.

Sorry to hear that.

I'm not actually estranged from my father but only see him rarely as he takes no interest in me or my side of the family (not even so much as a birthday card for my kids). He actually moved a couple of years ago and didn't even bother to tell me - only saw him this year after I tracked him down after finding out someone had tried to murder him with a hammer.

The odd thing is that we're not even on bad terms when we do meet - it's just that he's completed uninterested.

Sorry to hear that Hora. Take care. I'll always miss mine.

Sorry to hear that Hora, my sperm doner left when I was 4, don't really have much use for him now.

If you decided to live without him in your life, perhaps it was for the best.

Time is great for helping us learn how to deal with all sorts of internal turmoil, ridefree!

have 7 family members do not really have anything to do with any of them. still like you i am waiting the phone to ring as mum dad in their late 70s, to much pain to get involved with my family so cut free and live in my own world with 2cats a wife and 4 bikes never been so happy

Commiserations Hora

condolences....i have a simialr setup and i often wonder how id feel if mine went..

spend loadsa time with the folk that matter and care i reckon

He was well known to the Police for the wrong reasons. The plain clothes officer who called on his sister to give her the news indicated that he'd been on the force many years and he was aware of him. A violent man in his time. Evil. The estate runs into six figures and I am excluded. Am I bothered? I'm cut up with the old memories that have resurfaced. I really didn't want this day to come.

Sorry for your loss Hora.

Oh hora. What mixed up emotions for you to deal with. 🙁

Things can not be undone now so do keep looking forward and enjoy your son.

Take care.

Mark, sorry to hear your news mate. Your grief will possibly take a strange path for a few weeks. Try not to fight the feelings too much and try not to feel you have to man up about things.

It was your decision to live your lives apart so you need to stand by that for your own sanity. Try not to dwell on the regrets. Talk to friends and loved ones who will support you through the process.

I can only sympathise, not empathise. Take care fella.

Hora; might be an idea to look into some sort of counselling, as it sounds like you've got a lot of pent-up feelings about this. Could be a good move; your family could suffer from your issues, without you even perhaps being aware. Just something to consider.

hope your ok dude this can't be good whatever the circumstances, i'm lucky to have made up with my dad after many years of bad feeling, have an estranged sister tho but that's another story.

I've not seen my old man for something like 20 years and can understand that you had your reasons and have your life in order. As others have said, condolences and chin up and as Elfin says maybe talk to someone who has experience of these things.

I told the coroner that I have lived a good and just life. I owe my son guidance and duty. Thank you guys. I feel loss. A father figure is such a honour and hard task isn't it. I am not bitter just feel sadness.

Sorry to hear your bad news mate. Try not to dwell on what might have been mate. Get up early in the morning and head out on the bike for a few hours. Then go online when you get home and buy some new forks! Hope to see you for a ride soon, email in profile mate.Chin up.

On a lighter note a guy sat next to me in the pub just said bingo has a face like al pacino......hmmm time to leave

I told the coroner that I have lived a good and just life. I owe my son guidance and duty. Thank you guys. I feel loss. A father figure is such a honour and hard task isn't it. I am not bitter just feel sadness.

That's exactly it. If his legacy as a shit dad is that you are a good dad...that's something to feel good about.

Sorry to hear of your loss Hora. Just accept that for whatever reason, things turned out the way they did.

Sorry about your news 😥
pooch's are nice to have at these times though, even if they look like Al Pacino, 😯
He must have been pi....drunk 😉

As my father said when his mum died:

[i]'She was a horrible old cow, but she was still my mum'[/i].

Same applies. Its ok to feel the loss, even if you thought him a get.

My condolences.

I have nothing really to add to the above but to say I am sorry.

I forgave him yesterday. Partly for my sanity.

Echo what TJ says but remember matey, you can't choose your family only friends. Take care buddy and chin up.

You have my sympathies Mark. I'm sorry for your loss despite your circumstances. It's still never easy.

sorry to hear this mark i dont have great relationship with my Dad he is cold and unemotional. At his wons mums funeral he looked like he was waiting for a bus ..he was not hilding itin there was nothing.
Being a better Dad should be your goal and it will be easy
Chin up fella

I forgave him yesterday. Partly for my sanity.

A massive step. Be the bigger man always hora. Well done. I'm confident you'll work through this if that was your first step.

that's hard. all you can do is keep on trucking for the sake of yourself and your family.
there's no such thing as a 'normal' family in my experience, and much of life takes place behind closed doors.
keep the good let the bad go. Selah.

A good father is a precious thing, sorry to hear about your sad loss, even with such history, take care of yourself and your family.

Mark My father died 12 years ago last week. I still miss him almost every day as he was not only my father but my best friend & my inspiration (I'm honestly typing this through tears as we shared so much)
[url= http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/obituary-professor-paul-l-hancock-1192274.html ]Obituary Professor Paul L Hancock[/url]

So sorry Hora, for you and your family, dont beat yourself up over it, talk about it theres a lot of us to listen, oh and have a cry, somewhere on your own is best, it will help.

Mrovershoot I bet you are very proud :). I have spent most of my life feeling embarrased(?) Infront of my family. Felt lesser even. Even though all were friendly and always willing to come out of their way to help me I've purposely avoided all invitations. Maybe this should now change.

The one thing that does annoy me is the Executor of the Estates attitude. I asked I he was ill before and if I could have any old photos or home videos from the property and I was told 'no'.

Sorry for your loss, make something positive by trying hard as a dad.

PS howcome no hora abuse on this thread?

I've been grieving for almost 25yrs. No one to correct me. Mrshora was and is my anchor. (Well sometimes ball and chain!). Time to get pissed. Thank you guys. Stw is full of likeminded-nerds. 🙂

Sorry to hear about this Mark. If you fancy a ride or a just a chat give me a call or email. I'm heading out to rivi in the morning if you fancy a ride.

Andy

sorry to hear that Mark 😐
maybe there are opportunities to repair bonds amongst the family now

Look after yourself fella.

That's bad news.

Even though you had little contact I can understand why you feel sad.

Go and have some drinks as you said.