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That's exactly what I'm expecting as well.🙄
Yes, My prediction is Aus declaring at 410-7 and England being 40-3 at the close.
Whether it’s selection or tactics England just get it wrong too often don’t they? Captain or coach to blame?
So, what's the betting we'll see Root and a nigh****chman at stumps today?
That’s optimistic!
Convert - you’re a bit optimistic too!
That’s the series gone surely? Even if they escape with a draw here they need to win 2 of the last 3 - no chance.
That’s optimistic!
Yup. Hameed gone too. Could well be deep into the middle order by close.
Yeesh
Saved by lightening?
I don't know why you're all so pessimistic: we've eight wickets in hand and are a mere 456 runs behind. Should have those knocked off in four sessions.
Convert – you’re a bit optimistic too!
Arse.
So, is it time for a change at the top of the order? Crawley for Burns perhaps? Or dare I say Bairstow?
God, not Bairstow! Unless you just tell him to play in one day mode and accept a lot of daft dismissals. That you suggested him reflects the paucity of options, surely?
Well today has gone well 😔 We've still got the trickier batting conditions to come as well.
Shambolic really. Got lucky with the lightning last night, Aussies missing their best two bowlers, best day for batting so far, flat pitch etc - cue England rolling over.
I guess it’s not a surprise given they’re worse at batting, bowling and fielding.
Dismal. They need someone to spice up the batting, a little unpredictability. Put Livingstone in, oops no he didn’t go.
Prepare for a rapid Aussie 200 declaration, then skittle us out and play golf on day 5.
I look forward to the Boxing Day test match, stay up drinking/eating. Think this year will be the first in some time that I won’t bother
It's just daft really. They are totally unprepared, and haven't even had the warm-up matches, and it shows.
I'm starting to think that the much maligned 90s England would've made a better fist of this. Atherton, Gooch, Stewart & Thorpe look like a stronger batting unit at least.
We are only in the second test. I'm absolutely confident that we can learn lessons from this and the Brisbane shambles, come back stronger and win the next three.
Can't we Joe?
That’ll be his cut and paste response in the post match interviews tomorrow
5/0
It's not just the batting they look like they don't want to be in the same team.
Something missing and it's not the top of the stumps
Well, with that flurry of Aussie wickets before 6:30 this morning I dared to dream. Then, with 4 and a bit sessions to bat, I hoped Burns and Hameed would just stick around for at least an hour. But no, Hameed goes for a duck and slowly but surely we're back to relying on the middle order. This could now be over by lunch tomorrow.
It’ll be all over by the time my 06:00 alarm goes off
As ever, it's the hope that kills you.
at least we've shown some backbone
Well, regardless of how he got himself out, Buttler has shown plenty of backbone for sure and redeemed himself somewhat. Too little too late IMO and we need a longer term replacement once this tour is over. Pope and many others need to take a good look at themselves. Plus the selectors need a rocket.
Oh well, 7 overs in and both openers gone. Hmm, what chances the Aussies are batting by before close …
Boxing Day test going well already 😳
Not much they could do with those balls though TBF.
Just woke up and we're 140/6 - winviz giving England a 17% chance of victory. FFS. 🤦♂️
159/8, well at least there's no 'It's the hope that kills you' type issues now...
Ffs, useless
Robinson is playing a highly entertaining cameo here but the ashes is basically over already on day 1 of the third test. 🤦♂️
Edit: jinxed him 😂
Time for a new coaching team and a new captain. These kind of performances are far too frequent and are starting to affect home performances to. Maybe even put Anderson and Broad out to pasture.
I'd agree we need a new captain but who?
Here we go again.
I think there’s some serious questions on the coach, they’re without a plan and have been all series and that must stop at Silverwood.
I too wonder if Root will fall on his sword. The issue is who would take the captaincy on? The only safe spots in the team bar Root are Malan (no captaincy experience, limited tests), Stokes (have we learned from Botham and Flintoff?) and Robinson which would be a proper curve ball. Unless they bring in a project captain who they invest in for the future I’m struggling as to who’s take it.
Rumors the bolwing team and half the batting coaching side are off at the end of the winter. It will be a huge shame if broad and Anderson get rembered for this mess.
No openers
Iffy wicket keeper
Lack of archer
Team work in the bin.
Bowling coaching is wrong for the southern hemisphere nevermind the conditions.
Feels like the Gower era
*The backroom part not the player I always like Gower
...Aye....Grim reading 🙄🙄🙄
Agree coach change needed, possibly captain and time to say cheerio to Anderson, maybe Broad too. If Archer and Stone were fit they may not have travelled. I see Root is back to pretty 50s again, rather than big tons.
I don’t think you can underestimate the covid impact too - away from home, in a bubble, in bloody Australia for Xmas, covid raging back home - I think that’ll knock another 10% off performance.
The 'team' have been in a bubble of sorts for too long. Too much cricket full stop. No players in county cricket average 45 or above so who to replace this lot with? Once upon a time players used to learn their trade playing during the winter in Oz and SA. Now they ply their trade in one of the permanently running various T-versions of the game. I don't blame them. They want to earn. I don't think any English bowling attack will be moulded again until Broad and Anderson retire. They have been great servants but England have relied on them for too long. Since Swan, no spinner has ever been a permanent pick. One needs to be. Like Lyon for the Aussies, or Jadeja/Ashwin for the Indian team. Consistency has to be the way forward. I blame the coaching, selection and management. Sorry in advance for the ramble.
TLDR: English cricket is sh1t and depressing.
Total revamp needed. Parkinson long term spinner. Alex Lees and josh bohannon in. Get some players with some guts in. Foakes keeping, play a wicket keeper! Stokes captain for me, roots too safe and uninspiring. Have someone with an x factor so to speak. Build the team round root, malan, stokes, archer and Robinson.
Archer won’t play test cricket again, and if he does it’ll screw his career. He’ll be a fabulous 1 day/20:20 player but his body can’t deal with test cricket. Plus, he’s wasted there.
Malan is 34 so you can’t build a team round him.
So that leaves Robinson.
We’re stuffed.
I suspect they saw Crawley as the next captain. Right background for the ECB, looks good, top 3 bat, sorted. The fact that he’s averaging 11 is a minor inconvenience.
All fair points. I'm clutching at straws.
Lees
Hameed
Malan
Root
Stokes
Bohannon
Foakes
Robinson
Wood
Parkinson
Mahmood
how long has test cricket got anyway ? who wants to stand around a cricket pitch for 2.5 days and the rest sitting on your arse in the pavilion only to lose your match fee for a slow over rate when you can earn a hell of a lot more for a couple of hours evening effort.
They are on Central contracts easy money 💰 although if they don't play well the IPL ranking go south.
well now
Great start 😏
Excellent test cricket right now. Aussie quicks are so good.
Edit: bugger
Just concede and come home, save us having to go through this
That was properly nail-biting. Root is like the captain who won't leave his sinking ship but there's something kind of heroic about it still.
Why do I keep thinking we might actually stand a chance.....
I see our bowlers failed again today Joe...
Anderson puts a proper shift in. Wood and the rest do a good job.
It might be time to move root to 6 as it's the new 3.
Was hoping that Covid could do us a solid and get the match called off, but no, it appears not.
Are we having a sweepstake on what time England lose the Ashes? I'm going for 3.15am
wonder what ECB nasal gazing will conclude after this debacle ? more 100 & 20 over less 4 day more pay wall more institutional racism and more "chummyism"
reasons to be cheerful
We've had 15 minutes of play and England haven't lost a wicket.
then reality
one man batting line up?
oooffff in the nuts again!!!
Yup in the plumbs only 28 runs to avoid total humiliation
4 wickets remaining 🙁
Are we having a sweepstake on what time England lose the Ashes? I’m going for 3.15am
I thought that was a good shout before play commenced. But with Stokes and Bairstow lasting only a few overs. methinks this may be all over before lunch.
On the plus side, can cancel my BT Sport subscription now, saving myself £25 for another month... 🤦🏻
68 all out!
Wow, that was an astonishing collapse even by England’s standards. Shameful.
Imagine getting a 5 for then getting dropped for the next test...
Then imagine it happening again for someone else...
Some strength in depth in the Aussie bowling lineup right now! 🤷🏻♂️
Next two tests at the Mcc due to covid? If so expect the same results. Boland was special but not that special
Still... At least the Wallabies are shit at Rugby right now! 🤷🏻♂️
Some strength in depth in the Aussie bowling lineup right now!
I think our batters make pretty ordinarily bowlers look better than they are.
My expectations were very low but England failed even to reach them.
They know they are not anywhere near competitive, and they don't want to be there. The long-form game barely exists in England now.
At least the greed of the ECB means that barely anyone actually watches it.
World's best team to this in less than ten years. Silverwood needs to go but I'm not sure anyone could do a huge amount with the structure and pool of players we have now.
This team have officially beaten the Wuhan street markets with the worst use of a bat in recorded history
Well, it’s raining in Sydney. 😀 Looking changeable (according to them on 5Live anyway) for the next few days. How are you England stickballists feeling? A draw the best hope?
Oh God, are we going again?
Nah, they only need 3 playable days to lose.
Oh God, are we going again?
We are!! 😲
I enjoy opening up the BBC Sport app and seeing the different negative adjectives they use to sum up England in the headline. And sometimes, it takes an upward turn, and then rapidly downward again.
Possibility of an emerald green pitch once they uncover? What should the winning tosser do?
I enjoy opening up the BBC Sport app and seeing the different negative adjectives they use to sum up England in the headline.
A true test of sports journalism vocabulary. We should have a sweep (probably mistimed and caught at midwicket) on the most used. I'm going for 'abject'.
I’ve seen “woeful” a bit, and, albeit, not strictly an adjective, “struggling.”
is inevitable an adjective?
As in inevitable collapse, inevitable defeat, inevitable whitewash......