Na, that was Ton, SfB and TJ in drag.
</mindbleach>
While at uni, after a particularly chemical-fuelled night out clubbing in Manchester my mate Dave dissapeared early as, coincidentally, did my rather attractive housemate.
We all went back to ours afterwards, not thinking much of it. As ten of us walked through the front door he was lying there in the middle of the front room with her doing a full-on Cowgirl on him. They were both bollock naked apart from Dave who'd politely kept his Argyle socks on.
Obviously none of us have ever mentioned this to him ever again. Honest. Not like every time we go to the pub or anything 😀
Old neighbours house. Asked to feed his cat and whilst I was doing this my best mate, who had come round with me, went for a nosy. Mate was a bit shocked when he found the neighbours satantic mass altar (best description I can come up with).
The neighbour then went on to become a mormon. I was never sure which was more disturbing! I hoped that he was a subversive satantic mormon. Weird guy though.
Like some of the others here it was more a case of someone walking in on me. Staying in a hotel in New Orleans, late afternoon I had come back to the hotel. Desperately needed a dump having not produced anything of note for a couple of days. Anyway, mid dump, and to be fair it was a bit of a minger, there's a knock at the door and room maid walks in. Doesn't take her long to notice the "aroma" in the room. Starts to cough and comment about it - she is clearly not alone. I make a suitable noise to indicate I am still in residence at which point she splutters an apology and races off with her mates, giggling and exclaiming to them about what she just walked in to. I couldn't help chuckling to myself.
I went to my mate's 18th B'day bash many years ago where the only drinks were vodka, vodka or vodka. Got plastered in no time together with a girl I'd been asked to look after. Not many memories of the latter stages but... some time later my Dad, when I visited with my then GF now Mrs Hairychested, produced a photo. Me, laying on the grass in the front garden of our house, and the girl, kneeling and, ehemmm, keeping me entertained. I don't know when he took it, he isn't telling.
Ages ago, working late, walked over to my bosses office with the stuff I'd been working on to drop off on his desk, threw open his door to be confronted by his hairy arse giving one of the young secretaries an energetic seeing too.
Sadly not myself, but a school mate of mine walked in on his dad having a ham shank... Now, I don't want to give the wrong impression here, I don't want to see my dad with his lad out but on the other hand, just imagine how much easier that made it for him through his teens. "Having a w**k son? Good on you"
Not me but a couple of mates of mine. They'd been for a night out in London with a couple of French girls who were over visiting, and after a good few beers they're back at "Steve's" flat. "Steve" ends up in his bedroom with one of them and "Mark" has the living room to share with the other. The obvious ensues but midway through "Steve" needs to use the bathroom which is situated right at the back of the house; ie. involving a walk right past "Mark" and (iirc) "Sophie" who by now has her hands (and other 'parts') full.
Needless to say this causes some disruption but after some cajoling "Mark" manages to muster sufficient enthusiasm to resume. At which point with perfect comedic timing "Steve" finishes crimping off a length and cheerily makes his way back through the room. At which point there's no coming back no matter what "Sophie" tries. And by all accounts, she tried a lot......
Much like Binners, this event which happened about 20 years ago now is not relived every time Steve and Mark - if indeed they are their real names - are ever in the same room together. And it raises an interesting dilemma - does it count as a tick on his map of Europe or not?
8-9 years go I rented out a room to one of my best mates (affectionately known as Wolfman). One Saturday afternoon, I returned home with my new gf only to find the front door locked, but could hear an industrial sounding noise coming from within. Hmm, that's weird I thought; the noise, the locked door and the fact Wolfman's car was out the front.
So I unlocked the door, stepped inside and realised the noise was coming from upstairs - it was kind of hoover-like. I ushered Sue into the living room and went to investigate. Sure enough, Wolfman's door was closed. Ok, I thought, he's just having a tidy up. So I went to open the door but the carpet on the other side had been pulled up to prevent it opening normally/quickly. So I pushed it open as far as I could and literally 2 feet in front of me was a vision that will haunt me forever ... there was Wolfman standing virtually with his back to me - naked, glistening like he'd just come out of the shower, with poor old Henry Hoover's nozzle aimed at what can only be described as a black sock on his old man! Not what I expected (and certainly not what I needed). Needless to say I beat a haste retreat downstairs.
Not walked in on but ridden past.
Around about 1030 on Saturday morning riding along [url= http://www.multimap.com/s/ioKAXxoB ]this[/url] trail I spotted a Zafira parked up on the side of the track.
Sensible car - lots of room inside. From a distance it didn't look like anyone was inside.
As I passed the car a glanced in and saw a couple in the back going at it hammer and tongs.
I wish I had had the presence of mind at the time to stop, tap on the window and ask them where I was on my map.
1030 on a Saturday morning!
Gwyder forest, mid sunday afternoon a few years ago, couple going at it very enthusiastically in the front of a car.
Local (cheeky) trail, has a short narrow bridge over a ditch, get to bottom of ST to find short fat man shagging taller quite well dressed woman on the bridge, both stood up leaning against the single handrail. Polite "scuse me" sees me getting past without skewering either with a bar end. She was either mega embarrassed at getting seen, of had just cum (ohgodohgodohgod being repeated as I rode past). Maybe my lycra clad arse helped......
Neighbours at the back have not realised that everything they do in their bathroom is visible - normal people fit a bathroom window blind, don't they?
working at the outdoor show at the NEC a few years ago and i went behind the drapes of the main theatre to sneak out for a cheeky marlborough light and came across the standby shell scheme builder having a hand shandy with a copy of the Daily Sport spread out before him.
😐
I never EVER pick up a newspaper on exhibition derigs any more
At Afan a couple of saturdays back, crossing the bridge to get to the start of the wall trail there was a young lady in stockings and an overcoat and a nearby man with a professional looking camera right in the middle of it.
She had one of these on, if anyone recognises her?
[img] 
[/img]
As it turns out the next room was a fully equiped S&M dungeon with chains, whips, masks and man size thigh high PVc boots! I did a quick about turn and bottled going into the next room. Not at all what you'd expect in a respectable suburban house!
where on earth else would you expect to find it, S&M is as much of a safe middle class suburban activity as oooooh..... mountain biking
I've had a similar one to you theotherjon, rocked up to a respectable hotel and through the window was an 'art' photo shoot taking place on the pool table
we all had a gawp then the model turned round and stuck her tongue out at us. they closed the curtains after that 🙁
bumped into quite a few shagging couples at corporate events, nothing get colleagues bumping uglies like a free bar and a sales award
The top of Carn Mharm in January,a few years ago,crisp winters day.Girl kneelng in front of bloke..well you know.I would not have minded so much,but there were no other footprints in the snow,How did they get there?Hats off if thats how they celebrate a Munro!
[url= http://dairyofanineptmountainbiker.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-eyes-my-eyes-rinse-them-in-bleach.html ]Big long winded but the full horror is soon revealed.[/url]
Now that *has* put me off my sausage butty!!!!!!!
I know "Full man on man Bumming" ho ho.
Big long winded but the full horror is soon revealed.
you're just a big cuddly homophobe 🙂
man with a professional looking camera
Ti29er ?
I once saw a man stroking a dog's belly (nothing untoward you might think). But as I walked further past him, from a different angle, he was clearly doing something else to the dog that probably liked more! 😳
Lowey > "Cox Green" - not brown, then?
Do you mind, I'm mentally scared enough as it is.
I'm mentally [b]scared[/b]
very Freudian - scared of what you might discover in yourself ?
Some years back at Wisley one evening in the summer I came across a full on bit of group entertainment, the young lady in question seemed to be incredibly busy and nubile and those in the queue seemed intent on maintaining their "interest levels" shall we say.
There were about 15 chaps and her.
I wished them all a good evening as I rode past.
7 pm and very, very odd.
Sorry I thought that was how you spelt scarred. Is that right ? 😳
Some mates from Uni visited my house a few years back. Went out, met a few local friends, one of whom had a fit friend along. So Uni mate pulls friend-of-a-friend and takes the house key off me to head home. About an hour later I headed back (obviously pretty leathered) and burst into the spare room after not finding him anywhere else. Needless to say he's conkers deep, but casually looked over his shoulder and says "Now might not be the best time, Jim".
Too leathered at the time to care, but it was f-funny recounting it the next morning over hungover bacon sarnies and is now a stock phrase whenever we meet up.
