[Closed] Most irritating habits of your colleagues...

worked with the same bloke 13yrs, we get on like mr and mrs.......however, we started a new bloke a couple of weeks ago.
he wont be here long.

The two guys I work with are perhaps the two dullest individuals in Britain. Neither of them speak; neither of them like cars/football/bikes/golf; one of them clears his throat incessantly. I could quite happily windmill the pair of them.

Don't get me started on irritating colleagues

I have Mr "not three bad" in my office. He's a total **** AND he judges the state of my coffee cup several times a day, tut-tut-tutting at the stainage 👿

Plus, I can't eat an orange without Colleague 2 saying: "wow, that orange smells orangey."

I'm probably missing a top joke there. He's said it three or four times a week for the last year... 😯

Talking to me.

johnellison, football and golf are banned words at our place.......the sports of moronic fools. 😀

Bloke 1: Overweight and ginger*, bad BO, bad breath, listens to very loud and tinny drum'n'bass all day, last night's dinner all down his front, wears the same shorts and sandals ALL year round, huffs and puffs (a lot), yawns loudly all morning, slurps his coffee, bangs his desk when he's annoyed, takes his daily dump at 9.15AM thereby polluting the only gents' toilet for the rest of the morning. I could go on.

Bloke 2: Very noisy eater (nibbles at apples especially badly), loud nose-breather, faggy breath, smokers' cough and is the most miserable ****er I've ever met. I could go on.

I, on the other hand, am a joy to share an office with 🙂

(*I am neither fattist nor gingerist, he added hastily)

Bloke by me has a nervous scratch. About 2 or 3 times a minute he furiously scratches his head. His desk is full of hairs. It is like sitting near a dog with fleas.

rocketman - Member

Don't get me started on irritating colleagues

3-2-1 Go!

My top two:
Chewing gum! & doing it while talking to me, gross, I can see it in their mouth, it's digusting. Sometimes the gum 'cracks' as they chew, sometimes I hear this noise behind me when I'm on the phone, it's disgustuing. What are you, a cow?

& Commenting on what I'm eating. 'oh chicken is it' No it's a farking tube of toothpaste, now f o.

Looking at these complaints, you obviously all work in IT. 🙂

johnellison - have you just started a new job? Work with someone called ton? 😉

EDIT - hmm, think i need some sort of disclaimer here... not calling anyone dull... 😳

Whistling. Guy 2 doors down does this all day long, whistling along to whatever he's got on the iPod.

Another guy used to whistle the dambusters tune whilst walking along the corridor (here being Germany 😉 but I think only the brits would be aware of the significance)

Someone at our work insists on eating oranges at his desk, slurping away and with his sticky fingers on everything. And the state of his rarely-washed coffee goes through me *shudder*
😉

Not realising that their voices can be turned down to an "indoor" setting, especially when the conversation is totally inane and nothing to do with work. If you are going to slack off then try to be slightly subtle about it. Post on a forum for example 😳

If I don't get annoyed with any habits of my colleuges, does that mean I'm the annoying one? 😕

jamiep - Member

Someone at our work insists on eating oranges at his desk, slurping away and with his sticky fingers on everything. And the state of his rarely-washed coffee goes through me *shudder*

😆

I've worked with the same lad for 7 years, everything he says is ended with a sort of slurp noise, as if there's too much spit in his mouth, and when he drinks anything he follows his last gulp with a sort of aaaahhh noise. I could quite easily kill him

* suspiciously eyes the back of a head that may well belong to jamiep *

Rich is a lot fitter than I am, this annoys me, might send him to the cupboard for 5 mins 😈

Work colleagues are just there. That's enough for me.
The incessant drivel that comes out of their mouths and the constant bitching just seals the deal.

And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you.

I 'have a friend' who's jobs sometimes involves using company vehicles. Apparently his usual co-driver is a bit more of a perv than your regular run of the mill perv. He doesn't just glance admiringly at the ladies, he swivels round in his chair to ogle them as we pass. Cringe worthy. Apparently.

just asked my work pal my irritating habits.
apart from being a miserable grumpy bad tempered old ****, he say's i am fine....... 😆

I don't really have any issues with most of my work colleagues but I do know this guy nick named Badger who drives a van very slow, especially on Sunday mornings en-route to MTBing...Does my head in!

Also 1 guy I work with who has dog shit sandwhich breath and never covers his mouth when sneezing = snot and stuffs everywhere...

To many to list with some of the weirdo's in my office

But topping this list will be one woman who can eat crisps as if she has a megaphone in front of her mouth and project the noise across the entire office. Oh and she walks about scuffing her feet on the floor in such a slothenly manner I want to shout throttle her

I don't really have any issues with most of my work colleagues but I do know this guy nick named Badger who drives a van very slow, especially on Sunday mornings en-route to MTBing...Does my head in!

Sorry I have too.
[img] [/img]

Irritating in the sense of frustrating business jargon...

"James, sports question for you" is one that particularly gets to me

Hmm, thinking of examples for this is quite literally making my blood boil.

One stands out for me.

It's the way he 'drinks' tea. Sllluuuuuuurrrrrrppppp

Sssssslllllllluuuuuurrrrrrrrpppppp

Sshlurpppppp

Sssshhhhhuuuuurrrrrppppp

Aah!

Ssssssshhhhhllllllluuuuuuurrrrrrrppppppppp

All the way to the bottom of the cup! I've come so very close to ramming the ****ing cup down his throat with my ****ing fist on many occasions. He also only eats chicken & rice, let's it go cold then nukes it in the mircowave which stinks

Most of them here do this really annoying thing with their mouths that they need to stop doing really soon. What's it called? Oh yeah - breathing.

Breathing

Women who talk and laugh really loudly (HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA) and don't care if colleagues are on the phone.

johnellison - have you just started a new job? Work with someone called ton?

I was beginning to wonder that myself... 😯

johnellison, football and golf are banned words at our place.......the sports of moronic fools.

You are my boss and I claim £5.

One REsprays deodorant at circa 10am. WHY?!!!!

logical - looks like you've blown a seal there, mate.

I'll get me coat... 😯

Breathing

😆

One REsprays deodorant at circa 10am. WHY?!!!!

In his direction or yours? 😉

Someone at our work insists on eating oranges at his desk, slurping away and with his sticky fingers on everything. And the state of his rarely-washed coffee goes through me *shudder*

let me guess....Camo16? 😀

I think its the breathing mainly , ai and out in and out

if he'd only stop that I could cope with the tutting , slouching talking on the phone with loudspeaker on , asking random questions to no one in particular from the other end of the room ........

In his direction or yours?

😆

I remember one never ever did any physical exercise of any type yet talked about dieting none stop and often bought diet pills off of Ebay.

Frankly, none of you lot sound like you're business core so why don't you just kill yourselves ?

Okay so not really a colleague but someone in the same building as me.

At first it started off with a bra left hanging on the cubicle door in the mens toilets. Much hilarity ensued and there were rafts of giggles around the office.

About 6 months later yet another bra was found in the same toilet. Ha ha very funny, yes we've seen it before.

Next month a womens floral dress appears. Okay it was funny the first time but give it a rest now. Plus we're accumulating a load of lost property.

Then with ever more frequency the items change from clothing to a weekly deposit of items such as a candelabra, a china cat, a small (and quite frankly hideous) doll, a teddy bear etc etc. It was beginning to get a bit like a live episode of the Generation Game by now.

Not only that we had a box of this shit cluttering up the office.

We had our suspicions and names were mentioned. Office gossip was, as you can imagine, rife.

A quiet spell ensues and then it returns.

First up we have a single egg. Placed discretely on the floor next to the toilet.

A few eggs and weeks later and small piles of salt appear on the floor.

This is getting annoying now and it must be equally as confusing for the cleaners who keep finding these presents. Not only that there is now genuine concern that someone may not be taking their medication.

Now the small piles of salt have a egg gently placed on top like some odd little shrine.

Its hard to know where to go from an egg and the straw that breaks the camels back is a smashed egg on the toilet floor. Being a tiled floor this is obviously quite slippery.

Managers now have really had enough and question their prime suspect no 1. It soon stops after that.

Bet you cant guess this is Local Authority 🙂

Another guy used to whistle the dambusters tune whilst walking along the corridor (here being Germany but I think only the brits would be aware of the significance)

that used to be my ring tone. swapped it for Fawlty Towers.

TuckerUK - Member

I 'have a friend' who's jobs sometimes involves using company vehicles. Apparently his usual co-driver is a bit more of a perv than your regular run of the mill perv. He doesn't just glance admiringly at the ladies, he swivels round in his chair to ogle them as we pass. Cringe worthy. Apparently.

whenever i get a van (not sign written) i take pleasure in beeping and [s]oogling[/s] waving to the ladies. they love it really, the attention. makes them feel wanted.

self-employed here. not many people that i have to work with that i can't stand. we usually exclude the knobbers from any jobs we've got going.

my office which i share with 3 female colleagues is the warmest in our building yet my manager insists on switching on a fan heater under her desk to keep her feet warm, she also does a very good Dom Joly impression when on the phone. the girl opposite me also has a fan heater under her desk...i suffer from dry eyes so when the heaters kick in...it's sleepy time for me!!

[i]TuckerUK - Member

I 'have a friend' who's jobs sometimes involves using company vehicles. Apparently his usual co-driver is a bit more of a perv than your regular run of the mill perv. He doesn't just glance admiringly at the ladies, he swivels round in his chair to ogle them as we pass. Cringe worthy. Apparently. [/i]

camo16's son?

camo16's son?

😆

Oh.

😳

Only kidding 😉

Your other thead had me in stitches earlier 😀

It's alright, ell_tell – My boy's going to be a star footballer, apparently. So he'll have boobs on tap and no-one will admit he annoys them! 😀

Giving me work to do!!!

Mog +1, breathing 😉

my office which i share with 3 female colleagues is the warmest in our building yet my manager insists on switching on a fan heater under her desk to keep her feet warm, she also does a very good Dom Joly impression when on the phone. the girl opposite me also has a fan heater under her desk...i suffer from dry eyes so when the heaters kick in...it's sleepy time for me!!

I know, what the **** is it with women insisting that it's cold all the time???

I used to work with one (our receptionist) who despite the fact that she worked in a glass-fronted reception area which was South-facing and thus like a greenhouse 99% of the time, insisted on having a heater on behind the reception desk and wearing a coat/cardigan indoors all the time. Even in summer. Annoying as tits. Mind you I did end up banging her.

Our works went through a faze of dry humping, no one was excluded, all got a bit out of hand, until HO gave everyone a written warning.

It a prized document which I keep just in case I go for a job which requires dry humping experience 😉

my boss is bugging me in that she insists on us going for dinner after work quite regularly but then orders **** all and then keeps asking to try what Ive ordered and saying wow Ill have to get that next time complete ****t.

I just avoid eating with her now.

and then I keep getting dragged in to meetings where I know what Im talking about but she dosent so I end up having to sort shit out but Im now being asked to report everything I do weekly so again just refusing to do this and sit at my desk doing my stuff and ignore their meeting requests.
cant wait to finish this contract.

Generally get on fine with mine, but we do have the undertable fan heater one (and constant requests to turn the heat up higher than the current 35 degrees C) and the noisy eater / throat clearer.

I get them back by creating the world's messiest desk.

there is an enormous fat bloke in our office who appears to be short sighted and so sit's in his chair with his body slumped on the desk in front so he can tilt his head up to look at the screen - so displaying about a foot of builders bum.
He stinks, breaths like a walrus and goes for sleeps in the bogs, during which he snores loudly.

[img] [/img]

i have a colleague who if you gave him that work instruction explicitly and it was a critical operation he would then proceed to press all the buttons all at the same time.......

he speaks a language that would be helpful places i go.

i dont

i work in those countries

i'd rather(and do) go on my own and make do with their pigeon english and stick man drawings than take him..... and my boss understands this ! I dont trust him to tell the client what ive told him as direct translation, he will give his interpretation of what he thinks i "should" be saying.

I know, what the **** is it with women insisting that it's cold all the time???

Less body fat than men, they feel a couple of degrees colder.

Mind you I did end up banging her.

You old romantic you.

trail_rat - Member
he will give his interpretation of what he thinks i "should" be saying.

How do you know ❓

johnellison - did she take her cardigan off?

hes got previous on it.

Less body fat than men, they feel a couple of degrees colder.

You have got that the wrong way around. Women have a higher % bodyfat than men do. Men generally have better metabolism.

Men generally have better metabolism.

True. I think you'll find there are also differences in male and female subcutaneous fat layers (thicker in men). And men are generally hairier.

I know, what the **** is it with women insisting that it's cold all the time???

there is a very simple evolutionary adoption that explains this. Have a little think about it

Fat women where I work always complain about the cold.

Years ago I worked in an office with someone who lived in London (worked in Swindon). He wouldn't go back home each day but live in his car all week.

By Friday all the windows were open (sod datacentre security, it *reeked*) as he was most pungent. And he'd leave his Y-fronts on the back seat of his car drying after washing them in the loo sink. And his car was full of cigarette burn marks.

Eww.

people try to talk to me when im sleep in my lunch and tea breaks then get annoyed at me. I dont like any one in the workshop, one farts and burps and the other one stinks of horse crap.

also people who work through the breaks! F Off im trying to sleep!

I work in a small workshop. and have a total of 10 staff (4 office and 2 workshop and 4 engineers (me))

There was a guy in the same open plan office. He'd arrive at nine each day and promptly make a phone call to his family. He kept it very quiet, (see he could do when he wanted to) but it usually lasted 20-30 mins and was to far, far way. Then he'd turn on his PC. Then he'd moan about how long it took his PC to fire up*. And he'd make work-related calls very loudly, a form of showing off. Sometimes he'd make them from the courtesy phone in reception. That made things difficult for the receptionists handling incoming calls.

*He never thought of switching on the PC when he arrived, instead he removed the AV to speed it up. And introduced a record number of viruses to the network.

Trust me, I don't miss him.

there is a very simple evolutionary adoption that explains this. Have a little think about it

We have this chap who does that horrible hocking up noise like he's bring up a load of phlegm, every day without fail. He also doesn't wash his hands after going the bog, even for a dump. Dirty get he is.

There's the guy who texts me every day for a lift to work, only one way in and I pass him anyway, so really hard to say no, but now he's just taking the piss

And i'm too nice to give him the vickys as I'm screaming past him at 50

Hope he shares the fuel

there is a very simple evolutionary adoption that explains this. Have a little think about it

Izz itt cos thay shave all dem pubey bits off?

People who use the work phone extensively to organise their personal life in an open plan office.

I don't really care about the money or the rules but there are people who sit in my office who I don't even know that well and I could tell you how many mortgages they have, when they will be paid off, which lenders rejected them, the value of their house, the cost of their dogs hair trimming, how well their husband is doing at his job interviews etc and that's just in the last fortnight. I mean, phoning your mate to find out when he's at the pub- fine. Phoning your mum for 5mins to see if your kids are alright- fine. But sometimes I'm embarrassed to hear the stuff I'm hearing but it's not like I can turn my ears off.

Also anybody who holds impromptu meetings in doorways, in the kitchen, next to the water thing and then give you evils for walking past- just **** off and book a meeting room somewhere you pricks.

Wow, I'm a pretty angry person it seems. In fairness I do actually like most people in my office. Or I thought I did.

I have a collegue that interupts whatever you are saying with a very loud "correct". Sometimes he double "corrects" you with the emphasis on the second one......correct CORRECT!.....smart4rse kn0b

Breathing.

Hope he shares the fuel

Does he ****

I could go on for hours about the other ****s who feel the need to do absolutely sod all and then somehow get promoted...... obviously my nose isn't quite brown and smelly enough

Arm chair faulting, diagnosing things without actually having the full facts, blaming the fault on someone else' equipment.
Failing to properly test safety critical systems even though they've been told to go and do it but that would mean leaving the depot.
Spending an hour grizzling about doing a 5 minute job just down the road.
Leaving a piece of equipment failed for 6 months because it might get flooded and fail again.
Drive-by-maintenance.

duggan

hearing you loud and clear.

whole office hearing a colleague trying to consollidate loans was a bollocks of a day. - now everyone knows how much debt and to which credit cards- and that was with my headphones on at working levels !

worse still - he was on his mobile phone - could have quite easy gone and stood in the stair well like anyone else.

Now the small piles of salt have a egg gently placed on top like some odd little shrine.

That, there, is the work of a genius. I worked in an office environment for a while, I lasted 8 months. I never thought of toilet shrines, but I did install Doom on an IBM mainframe and organised all the manuals in the storage room by colour.

Now I work on my own, and generally just annoy myself.