Hi,
[b]If you are easily offended don't read any further!
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Okay guys keep it focused, no comments on jokes, or morality debates, just more jokes.
[u]Joke 1[/u]
Apparently, as he was 99% plastic, they are going to melt him down and make Lego bricks so that the children can play with his bits instead!
[u]Joke 2[/u]
1st Paramedic "His having a heart attack what shall we do?"
2nd Paramedic "Beat it!"
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On another note, apparently Michael Jackson didn’t die of a heart attack, he was in the children’s ward having a stroke…..
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All Michael Jacksons future dates have been cancelled, including those with Josh aged 5 and Ryan aged 11
I told you he would pull a sickie and not do the 50 days!
Apparently Michael Jackson died falling over a childs pram, a police spokesman said it's too early to say what the cause is so don't blame it on the buggy.
Whats the difference between Alex Fergusson & Micheal Jackson?
Fergie will still have Giggs in August.
Whats the difference between Alex Ferguson and Michael Jackson?
Alex Ferguson will still be playing Giggs in August.
He's been refused access to heaven apparently. don't blame it on the sunshine, don't blame it on the moonlight, don't blame it on the good times, blame it on the buggery
(CFH wins for me so far)
Apparently, the last time he was this stiff, Macaulay Culkin had gone round for a sleep over..
Jockeys at tomorrows race meeting will be wearing black arm bands in respect for Michael Jackson who successfully rode more three year olds than anyone else in history.
Kev
Gary Glitter is going to speak at the eulogy about some of Jacko's greatest achievements, it's hoped he'll touch on his music career also.
Rumour has it that MJ's dying wish was to have his ashes put into an etch-o-sketch. He hoped that this way kids could continue to fiddle with his knob long after his death.
On a serious note, I have a couple of cheap concert tickets.
IGMC
Ambulances officers confirmed Jacko's death. They said he was blowing bubbles at the time of his death, the monkey is reportedly in a stable condition.
In memory of Michael Jacksons death, McDonalds have released the new Jackson burger.
It’s a 50yr old bit of meat between 2 ten year old buns
I wonder if he went "Ow" really loudly...
Tickets for the Jackson 5 concerts are still available. 20% off.
Funny eh? Jacko and Fawcett dying at the same time
One played with Majors...............the other played with Minors!
Some of these are a) REALLY poor and b) libellous...
A colleague was showing me an online buzz-tracking tool called trendpedia this morning. It's not working at the moment though - he typed in Michael Jackson and just got a flat line.
IGMC
When Farah Fawcett died, she got to heaven, and was granted one wish......she wished for all the children in the world to be safe
Some of these are a) REALLY poor and b) libellous...
But, c) you can't libel the dead
Bitter sweet moment for Madonna. Today she lost a good friend, on the other hand there are now 3 more black kids for her to adopt
Apparently it transpires he died of food poisoning after choking on some 12 year old nuts.
He wasn't going to do all those O2 concerts anyway.
He said he wasn't coming to the UK when he found out the '£2000 for a 10 year old' actually referred to the car scrappage scheme.
The biggest disappointment of his life was when he discovered that Boyz II Men was a group and not a delivery service.
Sadly, it was a hereditary condition; something in his Billy Genes.
R.I.Paedophile
Weather reports of high winds today as 10 year old boys around the world breathe a collective sigh of relief.
His ghost has been seen on the childrens ward of the hospital in which he died, it appears he still wants to put the willies up small children!
So so sad. Michael Jackson touched me in ways only a Chatholic priest would understand.
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Garry glitters girlfriend is to be devasteted by the news of MJs death "first her parents leave her in portugal then this.."
Guests at his cremation will be issued gas masks, due to the burning plastics.
You'll need to act fast if you want to snap up a bargain, Jacksons stuff is up for grabs on ebay. Current highest bidder for his PC is GaryGlitter11
Anyone ever thought that the rhinestone's on those gloves must 'chafe' abit for the kids?
Michael Jackson, a life fo opposites
A boy in a mans body and
A man in a boys body (although never proven)
[i]nicked from a friend[/i]
No one's sure if there'll be a burial, a cremation or a recycling...
Apparently he wants to be recycled as carrier bags. So he'll still be white, plastic and a hazard to children.
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Lanesra - Who's the black guy?
Tito confirms, Michael was looking a little pale!!
Farah Fawcett arrives in heaven and upon entering, God grants her one wish
She wishes for all the children on earth to be safe.
Guess what happened next?
Goddammit - Sickipedia's still broken!
As ever the Daily Mash knows the score
