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Choked up here my friend.
So deeply sorry to hear this.
You & yours will be in our thoughts as we go through the day.
X
Our thoughts and prayers are will you and your wonderful family.
Big hug with lots of firm manly back slapping coming your way.
Words fail at times like this. Deepest condolences.
Don't really know what to say.. sorry to hear about your loss, hope you and your family are doing ok..
Nothing to add except my condolences and please stay strong for the rest of your family x x
Deepest sympathies. I know there's nothing we can do that can make this better. And that we're a bunch of strangers on the internet with a shared interest. But if there's anything that you need, just ask. Someone on here knows about it. Virtual hugs to all.
Bruders, firstly my thoughts, prayers and sympathies are with you. You are experiencing the very worst thing that can happen to a parent. It is unnatural and shouldn't happen to any of us. As others have said, the loss never goes away I am afraid, but it does become manageable with time. You are doing absolutely the right thing in making that difficult transition - you are talking about it to friends, your LBS and to all of us complete strangers on STW. I hope that this can help you make some sense of how life will proceed. As impossible as it seems right now, life does go on albeit in a very different manner and slowly at first. Take care of each other and very best wishes, THM.
That sounds pretty damn horrific. I wont even pretend to say that I can imagine what you and your family are going through, because I cant.
You speak about being strong, and being able to cope. Don't try and be strong, just be your normal self, and take time for your own grief. Dont worry about coping, because you will ge through it somehow, everyone always does.
As for telling your kids - just be honest with them. Kids are better at this kind of thing than adults are.
Finally, look after yourself.
You are entitled to the same support which would be offered to the regulars. Don't be afraid to push it if you feel the need.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
My only advice is not to let your autistic sons routine become too disrupted over the coming days and weeks - it will be difficult but if he has the anchor of his routine he may find the rest of this easier to cope with.
So sorry for you, as people have said it will get better with time but most important thing right now is to spend time with your family. You will all need each others support.
That is shocking, as a dad I don't think I could imagine anything worse or what you must be going through. As thm said, my thoughts, prayers and sympathies are with you in huge amounts.
fwiw the advice so far has been great (as it often is here). I've not had direct experience in the way that you have but I have been in a couple of small teams that have lost someone very suddenly and have had counselers talk to us. Their advice is perhaps relevant here:
* Talk about it and keep talking about it amongst each other (which you are doing).
* The need to do this will tail off at different rates for each of you so it is important to keep listening to the rest of your family, even after you personally are starting to move on. You'll end up saying/listening to the same thing hundreds of times even though it doesn't make sense but that's ok because the situation doesn't make sense. There isn't a solution, only getting through it.
* Writing stuff down can help get the feelings out for some people. Maybe carry a small notebook for when stuff comes to mind.
* Don't bottle it up and watch out for others that are - you need to get it out. I kept it in for too long because I was trying to stay in charge of the situation. In the end it had to come out.
care for each other
As Wrecker said, anything you need just ask, a few of us are local to you I think.
Take Care
Very sorry to hear of your loss. You did everything you could, that must have taken a lot of courage. Don't tell yourself otherwise. You and your family have my deepest sympathies.
All I can say is be strong for the others who will need you now more than ever. But that doesn't mean you cannot grieve, you will all need to support each other.
One of the hardest things is the world just carrying on as normal around you, try not to separate yourselves too much from it.
Thinking of you and your family at this sad time fella.. As others have said talks good.
Hugs to you all
Take care OP
My heart goes out to you and your family. This has to be one of the toughest things any parent has to cope with. I don't know that words can help so I hope that you gain some comfort fro all the messages on here.
I'm not a parent so can't even begin to to understand how you must feel. Best wishes dude.
Utterly soul destroying, I like OP have served and thought I had seen and experienced the worst. I have also had to resuscitate my own child. And in all honesty I have never ever been so afraid in all my life. Our situation turned out somewhat different fortunately. I would just like to say, I know you fought for him and as a dad & a soldier that's all you can do!
Don't blame yourself, focus on your other kids and your wife who need your strength now.
Keep your chin up & 'Stag on'
Read the headline and a few of the comments , now crying .
Cant think of anything to say on here be strong.
Sounds like you did everything you could, look after yourself so you can look after the rest of your family. You'll have ups and downs but over time the downs will become less and the ups more. Get help if you need it. I'm going to give my kids an extra big hug when they get home this afternoon. Thinking of you and your family.
Read this earlier but was too upset to respond.
I can't imagine what you are your wife and going through, but my thoughts are with you. Look after each other and your kids.
Do whatever you need to do to get by - if that's posting on here, chatting to your LBS guys, whatever, just keep do doing it.
So sorry for your loss.
Man hug. Can think of nothing to say.
My absolute worst nightmare. With Toppers Jnr mkII arriving shortly this fills me with dread. My thoughts and sympathies are with you and your family. Don't keep it all in.
My heart goes out to you and your family. Keep talking. Thinking of you. Huge hugs xxxx
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, a big hug mate I cant imagine what you and your partner are going through right now but just know I'm thinking of you all.
Gosh! What dreadful news.
I am sending you a big man hug right now.
i am now home and Emily needs to have a blood test to see how many white blood cells or something..
if ok i would like to post a pic as i just need people to see how beautiful it was to us
We had a scare with our youngest last year that needed an emergency operation and a couple of weeks in hospital but I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for you and your family. I can only say that I am truly sorry and offer my most heartfelt condolences.
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By all means, please post some pictures.
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Emily is waving her hands about (drama queen) George is Mr cool
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bruders, I don't know what to say other than how awful it must be. virtual hugs and sympathy from me.
I read your post first thing this morning & really didn't know what to write
I've been thinking about you & your family all day and still have nothing useful but just wanted to say how gutted I am for you & hope you can draw strength from the love of your family ..
I've been thinking about you & your family all day
Yup, here too. Lovely pictures.
Bruders so sorry for you loss. I cannot really offer anything of wisdom or advice save to say I hope you find the support and strength you need in the coming weeks and
So, so sorry for your loss.
I've just had my first child (11wks) and I lost my younger brother in a car accident on Christmas Day just gone. I was sad to lose my brother, but I was able to see how (now being a parent myself) how loosing a child is something no parent should have to endure. Again, so sorry, and my thoughts are with you. Take comfort in your loved ones and take care of yourself as well as them.
So sorry to hear this. I'm afraid I can't think of anything else to say about your loss.
Can't even begin to understand what you must be going through
Like most people on hear we're thinking of you so please don't feel that you can't open up
Loads of hugs to you all from the ninkynonk clan
Nothing more I can add Bruders than what everyone else has said: I'm so, so sorry for you loss pal, and were it in my power I'd move heaven and earth to get him back to you.
My deepest sympathies-
cb
cant get this out of my head at all. what a beautiful family. you sound so brave. as said above, take care of your family and yourself. just had a little cry at your pics. gonna give my little boy an extra big hug when i get home.
My deepest sympathies sounds like something off a hallmark card until you know my wife showed me this thread at 10 am and I have had no idea of how to express how sorry we are for your loss , until I thought of that cleche .
That's a deep dark place you're in now. As said above don't be too strong, you'll break. Let work know what's going on ASAP if you ask the forces have a good support network for this sort of stuff.
My no 1 fear when the little sandwiches were young, you have my heartfelt sympathy. Have a hug from me too,
Mike
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so sad. all the best.