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Hope the toe is on the mend and looks less like the angry vagina photo that you posted.
I'm joining this late - and refuse to look at the pictures - so apologies if this has already been covered but, do you get to wear actual clothes, or is it assless gowns at all times for you?
And if the latter, are you wearing them as the NHS intended (cheeks on show for all to see), or in the Hugh Hefner smoking jacket style?
As for things to do, cricket starts at 11pm tonight, so get yourself the BBC Radio iPlayer for TMS. If nothing else it'll drown out the farting, snoring and screams of pain - your own or anyone else's.
Your get your own PJ's depending on severity - I was still in my cycling shorts for a few days as I couldn't be moved, nor would my body go to the loo - my wife had to wrestle the shorts off me (lots of swearing due to broken back) and got some undies on. I was in a gown for a while until I was allowed to move - didn't care as I was off it on lots of drugs.
Group effort at a limerick to keep your spirits up? & to distract you from the terrible food.
There was young man called Tom...
KFC successfully smuggled in and scoffed, spirits lifted. No gowns yet (I’m in ‘lounge pants’ and a tshirt) but if insisted on, my fiine ass will be on show for all to see.
I’m shit at limericks, feel free to continue amongst yourselves though!
Well, docs just been round and seems pleased with progress, podiatrist was disappointed with the size of the issue, relative to the size of the dressing, which is encouraging.
For fans of what must be Britain’s worst food blog, today’s breakfast was exactly the same as yesterday, hence lack of pic.
Just ordered a steak pie for lunch. Any bets on if it’s going to be a pie or casserole with a lid?
the latter - they can cook it in vast trays more easily.
From the website of York Hospital.....
York Hospital's Dining Services is legend in the community for its fine cuisine and offers a variety of delicious foods to tempt even the most fickle palate. Our patients, visitors and staff enjoy, among other things, lobster rolls, roast sirloin dinners, homemade breads, "the best seafood chowder in town," gourmet coffee and decadent desserts. Patients enjoy hotel-style room service every day.
http://www.yorkhospital.com/patients-and-families/dining-daily-specials.aspx
This is the hospital you're in, right? 😉
Sounds OK to me.
Be thankful you're in America and not in the UK eating NHS food. 😉
Yep, been in 3 days, racked up $118,000 in bills. Knew I shouldn’t have had that nice pear yesterday. Meh, YOLO
Well, despite the false ‘pie’ advertising, this has been the best effort yet...
Actual bits of meat, and not too bland tasting. Pastry has more in common with cardboard than food, but beggars and choosers etc.
#notevenarealpie#
Dirty protest this afternoon unless they deliver the rest of your pastry.
We stand united....
Is there a dressing on your left foot now?
Rusty, you are dead to me.
#notevenarealspanner
@ww There always was, a different ulcer that has recently healed, but have padding there just to give the skin chance to firm up a bit.
Not a real spanner?
Tightened your nuts didn't I?
Thought my lifeline to the [s]real world[/s] you lot had been cut for a second there!
No pic for my official tea tonight. Nobody needs a visual aid to imagine what a cheese sandwich and a salad looks like...
Unofficial 2x double cheeseburger and McCheesy bites incoming.
Sorry but someone needs to have a word with the catering staff about carrot portion control on that steak pie meal unless of course Tom is part ugly toe part rabbitt!
Balls!
Seems that some of my brains fell out of the hole in my toe, and in ordering afore mentioned headphones I’ve missed that there is a wired and wireless version, and ordered the (£2 more expensive!!) wired version. Correct versions now ordered, but they should arrive at my house around the same time I do 👿
Morning Ton, linky no worky?
Just a pic of my private room at Nuffield.
Menu is awesome.
I see, luckily I’ve found out the secret handshake, here’s today’s evening meal....
😉
Oooh, the scallop sounds nice.
Sock update?
Can't see your room Ton.
I'm imagining a pile of bike brochures, a minibar and fully equipped workshop?
I’ve been barefoot since Tuesday eve (I think) ward is at furnace temp and I can only put one sock on anyway.
Stack of bike mags are present, currently working my way through the last 5 Crankeds and the 1st Sender one
Sat in front of a fan at present with my gown up trying to cool my saggy old man nackers 😆
Dyson/witchcraft one? There’s one next to me for the chap in the bed next door.
It’s either that or a jet engine, from the sound of it....
For those actually still interested in my keeping a full compliment of pinkies, it’s looking good (not literally, end of my toe looks rank), and on target to be [s]released[/s] allowed home on Monday, maybe even earlier if there are docs still around on sat eve.
Felt sorry for a chap across the way earlier...
Nurse: ‘We’re going to put a catheter in’
Chap: *sounds quite chipper and upbeat* ‘oh, ok, fire away, whatever needs to happen’
N: ‘have you had one in before?’
C: *still upbeat* ‘No?’
Tomhoward: *quietly winces*
Tom I had one put in yesterday. Straight in. No problems. Bladder drained and taken straight out.
Didn't need it for 2nd pee
I’m still left with the memories of having one in for a week, 10 years ago. *shudders*
Lasagne and chips for dinner. Vital carb loading, obvs...
https://flic.kr/p/GTKgAM
Looks nice that.
Is that a chip counter in your hand or your insulin pen?
* Will fit catheters for cake*
Well, just been woken up and given 2 minutes to pack my stuff by a seemingly both disinterested and irritated nurse and been shipped off to another ward with no explanation why. I’m talking throwing all my stuff (clothes, meds, laptop etc into whatever bag/pocket/my lap on a wheel chair was to hand, as fast as possible. Have now arrived at said ward, having been crashed into doors etc by mardy arse nurse, who then tutted at me, as if it was my fault for crashing! Hilariously, I’m perfectly capable of walking, she just never asked... Been plonked on a bed in the new ward and left here.
Never a dull moment eh 🙄
Lasagne? Are you sure?
Couldn't see the accompanying glass of chianti.......
Don't forget to post on the EDL thread.
330am update, I swear I’m going to smother the bloke next to me soon. He’s talking to himself, but none of it is legible, aside from regular Fs and Cs, interspersed with what I can only describe as growling.
i am playing online chess....... 😆
Hell is other people
Look on the bright side, at least the blister wasn't on your cock....gangrenous penises have been known to result in penectomies. 😈
STW early morning crew checking in.
Morning!
Ear plugs.
Some mashed carrot in an emergency, but there can be side effects:
I felt a little Swedish last time I tried it.
sorry for the lack of updates, truth is nothing’s really happened, and the food I’ve been having is the same, as that’s all I fancy off the menu...
The only real change is my neighbour, Bob. An octogenarian, seemingly riddled with dementia who, having been here for months, is due to have a leg (I forget which) amputated below the knee tomorrow morning.
Normally I would feel sorry for someone in his situation, and I still kind of do, but...
Bob likes to talk. A lot. To himself. From about 9pm to 7am. Usually he is replaying chats I assume he has had over the years as it’s half a conversation, the other half being in head/memories.
Bob is extremely foul mouthed, though I assume that’s the dementia.
Said dementia also means Bob forgets to go to the loo occasionally.
Bob is not a man who likes to be burdened by the shackles of PJ bottoms, instead preferring the freedoms of NHS spec, tracing paper thin, undercrackers. MrsTHtobe was less than thrilled by this sight.
While I caught up on last nights missed sleep (cheers Bob), Bob decided to sit in the chair next to me, atop my jacket. It’s a shame I’ll now have to burn that jacket.
How much is private medical insurance again?
On a lighter note, I still have the same number of toes I did a week ago, and might be coming out tomorrow, all being well.
I'm pleased to hear your toe is improving.
Otherwise, I can see an opportunity for a transplant . . . 😉
[i]He’s talking to himself, but none of it is legible[/i]
When I broke my hip the old boy next to me spent the entire night shouting 'No girls! Get off! Leave me alone!" at irregular intervals.
He spent the whole day regaling no one in particular with stories from his life eg:
[i]I was following a removals van along the road in my convertible when all of a sudden it stopped and the back door folded down.
Then a lion jumped out of the back and ate me![/i]
I assumed it was the morphine but it could have just been how he was.
Bloke a few down refused to eat anything but ham sandwiches. Every time he was given one to eat he stuffed it in so quickly he inevitably choked and was sick. I think he was basically starving as he never managed to get a meal down. But no one ever took the time to cut the sandwiches up into bite size bits and gave them to him one at a time, they just handed him a whole plate and left him to get on with eating. Was really sad, tbh.
The bloke in the bed opposite was lovely, we had conversations across the ward about our injuries and the cause (him tripping over a rug and breaking his shoulder, me falling off an mtb) he came over when he was discharged and said in a conspiratorial tone:
[i]I always wished I could have a mountain bike but my eyesight's not good enough. I always look at them in shop windows when I walk past though.
[/i]
And I felt so lucky that I could ride one and would again.
Just overheard a nurse on the phone...
‘Hiya, just wondering if you have capacity for a transfer for a Ronald Pickering?’
Could it be that I’m sharing a ward with a celebrity??
Good news and bad news.
Good news. I still have 10 toes.
Bad news. The ‘5 days’ they told me I’d be in from Tuesday, which keen students of the days of the week will tell you should mean I was out yesterday, but i understood I might not be discharged on a Sunday evening, fair enough.
So the consultant comes round this morning, takes one look at my (dressed) toe and says ‘right, keep up with the antibiotics and elevation, and see him tomorrow’ before walking off. It’s been dressed fully since Friday morning, and the consultants have looked at that dressing every day since. All docs have X-ray vision right?
Checking with the nurse later, apparently the doc wants to get all the docs, consultants, podiatrists, hangers on, well wishers, Bono and Ronnie Pickering together to look at it, all at once, before making a call on what to do. Sadly they are all a bit busy this morning, so it’s another day in Bobs company for me.
****ing marvellous.
the doc wants to get all the docs, consultants, podiatrists, hangers on, well wishers, Bono and Ronnie Pickering together to look at it, all at once,
You'll need a bigger room for that.
Perhaps an Auditoerium.