Good step forward OP. It's 'only' a doctor's appointment for your knee but first step in sorting that out. Sometimes once one thing is working better others work better too 🙂
Any don't forget it's midsummer! Love a bit of that sunshine.
But, with GCSE’s only and 20 years experience in this specific job only, I’m pretty much stuck here now.
I'm only a few years older than you, but, unfortunately, based on my own experience, being over 40 is a wintery place if you want a career change.
I've got a good science degree and two MSc degrees one of which is from one of the best institutions in the country.
Doors just slam in your face and nobody wants to know.
That's the traditional route of looking for salaried employment, of course. It may be that you could find something on your own to do. That would be the ideal situation for me, but it's not easy to make a living that way.
I don't know what else is going on but I would say be careful not to compare too much to others you never know what's going on.
Example.
Watched my best man finish the race of his dreams atthe weekend.
I'd love to have done it also .
How ever I understand I have other things/stresses going on in my life that he would love to have .....so sport is his coping mechanism.
I'm chuffed to bits for him and yes it reminds me I'm approaching 40 but I'm trying to focus on the positives in my life rather than a. My negatives b. What others are up to
Doing your thing for you is key to motivation and happy life.
Also fwiw ..... Some of the fastest people I know in multiple sports didn't start till 40 or had a massive break between Jnrs and 40 ... or a health scare.....
I’m only a few years older than you, but, unfortunately, based on my own experience, being over 40 is a wintery place if you want a career change.
Iirc your ex o+g /offshore.
My experiance is that especially if operational is that it's an absolutely total disaster to try and move out of the industry unless you already have a foot in the door. Everyone assumes you want the big money that oil and gas was on 20years ago and/or you'll run back to the big money (lolz) soon as an opportunity comes up.
I forced a move into onshore project management and subsequently management to try and help make that move ....the 24/7 grind 7 days a week working across 3 timezones always being on call thing is getting to me a bit.
I hope so!
Have done some great riding in my 30s and even in the last couple of years some big gravel routes that I've been quite proud of, but it's all sort of fallen apart a bit recently, just as I've turned 39... 🙄
But happily with a slowly shifting mindset I know I can get it back, if nothing else I've (finally) learned the fundamentals of training well, it's just maintaining consistency that is the tricky bit!
Am also trying to wean myself off Strava, I think it induces some serious FOMO which just gets depressing as you're sitting about nursing injuries or whatever and watching buddies putting in big fast rides ..
On a minor note, don't abandon the turbo altogether, I find that for squeezing in a quick endorphin hit and getting a quick and valuable workout, nothing beats in. Maybe Zwift doesn't help as it seems awfully faffy and the workouts look a bit overcomplicated, just focus on a 2x15 minute sweetspot workout and also get some good tunes! The right tunes at the right volume have been shown to give an endorphin hit of their very own and help lift mood. Combine it with a good (simple!) workout and you've got some potent medicine!
I do remember the days of no Garmins or Strava.
I still record rides on Garmin (it's a habit) but I binned Strava, because, like you, it was stressing me out. Best thing I did for my riding.
You have answered many of your own questions and have started the process of sorting it out....todays appt. Pick another aspect, I'd say a little pre work exercise will be easiest. Things will start to slot into place but ultimately that will be down to you...once you see that it is you doing the changes you've sussed it. Work wise, sorry no idea really, what do you fancy doing ? What do you need to earn ?
I thought the world was ending when I was staring down the barrel of 40. Just couldn't believe that I could possibly be that old.
I'm 49 next month. Wish I was as young as 40. 😉
Thanks for all the replies. I was out on the motorbike last night enjoying the great weather.
Lots of great points. Firstly regarding seeing a GP/counseling, I've been there many times over the years. Think my first visit to the GP to talk about 'feeling crap' was in my mid 20's. I've had various courses of talking therapies and CBT. I took some things away from CBT but that's it. When I moved here nearly 8 years ago I ended needed to see someone again and the response from my GP has been rubbish and I've just got on with it by myself. Haven't been on meds for maybe 9 years or so.
I also think I'm a different person in some ways to what I was even a few years ago. I'm not so keen on social situations, large groups anymore. I much prefer the quiet life. Maybe COVID is to blame for that. I get overly anxious when there's too many people around.
I'm actively looking at moving house too, I don't like where I live due to anti-social behavior near us and I've suffered a lot with anxiety because of that. I think it could make a big difference if I was living somewhere where I was happy and content. But that's a very expensive fix.
My experiance is that especially if operational is that it’s an absolutely total disaster to try and move out of the industry unless you already have a foot in the door. Everyone assumes you want the big money that oil and gas was on 20years ago and/or you’ll run back to the big money (lolz) soon as an opportunity comes up.
I think the trick to getting out is to do it when the oil price is high and the industry is screaming for people. Ignore any offers of big bucks to stay. Because you're going to have absolutely no chance if you wait for the downturn to try to move on.
Speaking as someone who is working his notice in what should hopefully be my last O&G related job, 14 years after I first said I wanted out of the industry 🙂
I started mountain biking at 50 and haven't looked back. Age is only a limit if you let it be (within reason of course).
I could’ve written this too I’m 40 just before Christmas. Not the worst shap of my life, but only because I properly let myself go in my late teens when I quit kayak racing and training 5 days a week.
I’ve got no motivation to get up and go for a run or ride or do weights I can’t atop myself from eating crap, everything hurts and I look like melted lard.
But I’m sure it’s just another phase, something will give me a kick up the arse sooner or later, always does. I’ve started racing the canoes again this year, time is the only thing stopping me doing more of that, I went for a trail run this morning and started missing my mountain bike so I might try and get out on that tomorrow morning before work.
Work is ok luckily, it’s not the most exciting of careers but just about pays the bills and doesn’t take up too much of my headspace.
If you’re anywhere near Cannock chase and fancy a steady early morning ride let me know.Not letting someone else down is great incentive to get out of bed in the mornings.
As many folk here have said, 40 is nothing, though at the time it seems like a cliff-edge. When I was a lad (I'm 54 now) 40 was the kind of age where you were supposed to have achieved everything and could then freewheel through middle age towards a quiet and comfortable retirement...
Obviously, none of that is true. 🙂
Look at fitness and wellbeing as a long project without instant results. I found that, aged around 50, trying to get fitter was a two-year job. I started by never turning down a bike ride, ever. If someone asked, I had to say 'yes'. And then I would make sure every ride had an extra hill bolted on to the end of it, just for the sake of future me. Lockdown for me was actually pretty good, as the cheese shop, pub and pizza place were all shut and we ended up on an accidentally vegan diet of salads, soups and stir fries for a few months. I lost a load of weight (most of which I re-gained when the cheese shop and pubs re-opened) and suddenly became a hill-climbing (demi-) god. In addition I had two friends who would ask if I was coming out riding. One was super-fit and it would always be a long, hard or long and hard ride. The other was new to riding, so it was more mellow, but he would usually call up on the day I was going to take it easy. Between the two of them, they forced me to become fitter...
I made sure I had big parties at 30, 40 and 50, because I wanted to embrace the age and then ignore it for the next decade. It's mostly worked. Turning 50 brings things into interesting focus, but you have a decade to enjoy before you get there...
In short, I'd say - aim to get fitter, but think longer term. Don't rush it, you'll still get there. Find a couple of like-minded friends, a club or random forum people, who will drag you out for a ride, even when you don't fancy it. Shared riding misery is far more fun. And know that fitness gains in your 40s are entirely possible. Oh, and bikes are ace... 🙂
Jeez, don't be telling me 50 is when I should really be worrying...
And add into this, thinking about moving. Never had a mortgage before....
I could have written that.
Yeah me too, worse still, whilst I'm still getting over the fact I'm now 40, I actually turned 45 last week.
I think the most important lessons I've learned from becoming middle-aged are:
You don't suddenly go from being 39 and 364 days and brilliant to 40 and suddenly a fat, grey misery.
As much as you might enjoy MTBing or everything else, you are NOT a professional athlete who can no longer train hard enough to maintain perfect fitness, there's still lots and lots of gains you can make, for us normal people the tail off when you have to accept you're just going to get slower is into our 60s.
"Life begins at 40" no, it doesn't as others said, for our parents and grandparents who got married and started a family in their early 20s it did, they'd done their shift and finally had the time and money for some 'lifestyle', that said the lifestyles we enjoy now, even with kids and jobs is probably better. It's not automatic, if you think you'll suddenly find peace with yourself and the world because of what the calendar says, you won't.
At some point, if you haven’t already, you must accept you're mortal this isn’t because you’re now 40, but the feelings you’re having are about becoming ‘middle aged’.
This was the biggest shift for me, and it might just be me. Time is finite and there won't always been a tomorrow. You can cry about it or accept it and start living it. Time, unless you're Brian Cox is fixed, seconds, hours, days, weeks, years - they all pass at the same pace, BUT our perception of time is far from fixed.
40-50 years of 'good times' is a lot, lot longer than 40-50 years of waiting for something in the future. I had to stop wasting my life waiting for that next 'thing' the new car, the new house, the new holiday. They're all great, but if you limit yourself to only being happy in those extraordinary, special times you're be miserable the rest of the time, especially when they pass.
Try to fill your life with simple joy now. Get off your arse and do stuff, it doesn't have to be some mega expensive super thing, that's just marketing departments ****ing with you. Walk through the woods. Go, and see a friend, nurse a pint and enjoy the view. Break the routine of Work, Tele, Bed that so many of us fall into.
And add into this, thinking about moving. Never had a mortgage before….
Do this, despite all that I said about trying to live in the moment and all that, get a mortgage. The best time to get a mortgage is when you're 21, the 2nd best time is right now.
The UK housing market is a complete swindle, but nothing will ever change that. Start looking into it today, make a plan, and do it.
It will make a huge difference to your income over the next few decades and a MASSIVE one to your retirement.
I'll likely take a bit of a hit on the monthly, but not much. It's about finding a happier place to live. But lets see, it will likely be a long and stressful process. I'm not really bothered about market crashes and all that, I want my next house to be the one I live in for the next 20 years or more.
You don’t suddenly go from being 39 and 364 days and brilliant to 40 and suddenly a fat, grey misery.
Didn't you learn anything when you turned 10? Or became a teenager? Or turned 16, 20 or 21? Or 30?
It's just numbers. If you were a fat, grey misery at 20, guess what.. 😀 (I think we're saying the same thing.)
I’ll likely take a bit of a hit on the monthly, but not much. It’s about finding a happier place to live. But lets see, it will likely be a long and stressful process. I’m not really bothered about market crashes and all that, I want my next house to be the one I live in for the next 20 years or more.
It all depends, the lettings market is a bitch as well, I got told we have to move twice in a few yearsa because the LL wanted to get more for it. I hated that feeling of powerlessness.
At least with a mortgage, even with a so-so first time buyer rate, at least you get to 'keep' half the payments. Okay, you don't exactly, but even if the market stays flat (which in reality is worst case over even a 2 year period) you've paid off a lot of money that would otherwise belong to a LL, and you're largely fixing your housing expenses now. Rental inflation runs at 2% pretty consistently, except when it's 10%! Yeah rates will rise, but it won't outpace the value or rental costs.
And owning your own place, even if in reality the bank owns most of it when you start is a nice feeling. Some people love to work on their homes, some people don't. Personally I like the feeling of security. No one can tell me I have to leave in 2 months, and as the years pass I have a real wealth that, even tied up in your home offers you a lot of financial security.
I'm by no means chosing to be a misery guts about turning 40. I've had 15+ years of having not much of a positive outlook on my life due to my own self asteem. That's the core of the problem. This whole thing of turning 40 is now another focus for the monkey on my shoulder.
Anyway, I have sorted a ride with someone tonight on the road bike, so that's better than sitting in the house. And I'm off to see a physio on Thursday about my knee.
For the last two years I've been going to the same sport physio who has been working his way through my problems/ niggles and the improvement to my morale (& to my 56 YO flabby body) has been stupendous. (Still flabby though!)
Not as expensive as it sounds - worth a try?
re sport issue. I'm 45 and I often get pangs about how old I am but whatever, just got into fell racing, at the expense of MTB
I rushed into it and got an achilles issue so started muscle training and stretching a bit more - stuff that I ignored in my 20s and 30s. I'm thinking a lot more about my training and quality of exercise.
Anyway, Im absolutely loving fell running now and wish I'd started it earlier. Im not missing the faff of MTBing at all, although will introduce it more for cross training as much as anything else.
I did a big fell race at the weekend and it was full of older men who were fit as butchers dogs. And all handed my arse to me. Its spurred me on to knuckle down with my training and use the off season to have a proper go at the racing season next year.
What Im saying is that Im looking after my body a lot more and fully intend to train and race as hard as possible into my 60s. The fell racing scene is full of old nutters (in a good way) who are unbelievably fit and strong, its inspirational!
I could write a lot of that. 40 in August job that's OK but not the career I wanted or should have had if I'd not been lazy and or doing other stuff. No kids which means I still feel like a ****less 25yo at times.
Finding getting a rhythm back harder. Moved house somewhere lovely which has helped but just with that lost my rhythm and sort of sense of person.
It'll sort its self out.
Where you based @stcolin? My old area I think horwich bolton way?
Not tead the whole thread but at 61 i am a week into a long bike tour. Fit and as light as i have been sice my 20s.
Its all about the head not the body imo
I’m 41 and as fit as I’ve been in my life, I’ve ran PB’s in every distance from 1 mile to marathon since my 40th birthday. So yes, you can turn it round.
And all that running really helps my anxiety and improves my mental state. You can’t stew on thoughts when you’re too busy trying to breath or hold onto someone’s heels. It’ll be hard to start with but I can’t over emphasis the benefits it gives.
Work you have to either take control of or stop giving a toss about. I changed job to a lower paid but less stressful role. I also stopped giving a toss, I’ll work hard but I make sure I switch off.
All of this happened around when I turned 40.
@duncancallum I'm in south Manchester. Think I met you a couple of times on the MNPR's.
Let's hope I can figure it all out.
I'm turning 40 this year. My mum said she was counting the days for several years up until her dreaded 40th, she then realised nothing changed and it was just a number!
Up until this last year I had an absolutely manic job that I didn't sign up to, covid reigned in all my trips and plans, and I didn't ride regularly with my mates.
I've now changed roles (same employer) and don't spend most of my rides either stressing or being pissed off about work) I now look at friends who are still doing proper rides in their 60's which is quite inspiring, and that gives me the nudge to keep active as I want to be in their shoes and still fit at retirement! Also got some WhatsApp groups going as there is always someone giving everyone the nudge to fit an extra ride in.
I'm spending my 40th at Singlespeed UK, then a week bike touring with my wife, then Scotland for my first proper bikepacking trip with one of my brothers. Sounds much better than a party!
I've been getting a few shoulder/wrist/elbow issues recently, hoping the latest is Tennis Elbow and not arthritis. I do carry more stuff around at work now, that or its my preference for rigid bikes.
With your knees, have you tried a sports physio, it could be muscle imbalance, or flat pedals, cleat position/wedges or clever insoles required.
On the subject of my knee, I went on a ride last night and I could feel it. Not enough to make me stop, but I do wonder if I need to change the position of my feet/cleats. I ride flats on my MTBs. So it could be something I need to look at.
I have been to a physio about my knee and he said tendonitis, so rest for a few weeks and keep it moving with gentle exercise and stretches. My phone call yesterday with a GP suggested Meniscus, not tendons. My physio appointment tomorrow will hopefully confirm what it is. I want to get it sorted ASAP.
FWIW I've got chronic tendonitis in my left knee since around 2002, and it hasn't stopped me doing 2 ultras this year and I've got another in a couple of weeks. I'm 50 btw 🙂
(Obviously it depends on how serious the problem is, but if I stopped doing anything due to a niggle in the knee or ankle or whatever I'd never get out of bed...)
Good luck with the knee.
Can you take mine in with you as well and ask them to have a quick shufti? Been getting the odd twinge lately.
On the subject of my knee, I went on a ride last night and I could feel it. Not enough to make me stop, but I do wonder if I need to change the position of my feet/cleats. I ride flats on my MTBs. So it could be something I need to look at.
I went round the houses with knee issues in my early 30s. Ultimately I think it boiled down to ramping up intensity and/or time in the saddle too quickly. I was very guilty of not riding much during the week but then trying to crack out centuries every other weekend.
Maybe focus on dialling back to a minimum level of short easy rides and then re-building from there?
but if I stopped doing anything due to a niggle in the knee or ankle or whatever I’d never get out of bed…
This +1! The knack is knowing if your training is actually making something worse or if it's just a niggle...
FWIW I’ve got chronic tendonitis in my left knee since around 2002, and it hasn’t stopped me doing 2 ultras this year and I’ve got another in a couple of weeks. I’m 50 btw
I wish I could run on mine. I get sharp pain and feel like it's going to give way even with a light jog. That's how it has been this last month or so.
Can you take mine in with you as well and ask them to have a quick shufti? Been getting the odd twinge lately
Pop it in the post mate, I'll get them to take a look.
I wish I could run on mine. I get sharp pain and feel like it’s going to give way even with a light jog. That’s how it has been this last month or so.
Definitely sounds a bit more serious. But my I stand by my somewhat tongue in cheek comment: after 40 something will always ache, and as long as it's not too serious (which it could well be in your case) you'll just have to learn to live with it. If nothing aches, you're probably dead 🙂
I also find Zwift deadly dull. The monthly subscription nags me like a gym membership.
I hated Zwift, even tried it with Smart rollers but that was worse (try starting on a hill!)
I just went back to riding in the rain. I bought a proper winter bike back in 2013 and never looked back. Its hard going out but you feel amazing when back home after a mid-week 50k night ride.
Back in Dec 2019 my wife ignored me and bought a Peloton bike. I love this bike and its transformed my fitness and a strength. Well worth it.
Post 50 I seriously changed my view on my life, changed my diet a bit, and stopped drinking (almost). I have binned being sociable in preference to spending time with my 11 year old boys. I do go out but not very often now.
I have reduced some of the foods that made me feel sh1t, crap bread, normal pasta and rice, spuds etc. Replaced with mostly wholemeal pasta and long grain rice, and good bread. If I eat more pulses, fish etc I feel really good.
I do eat rubbish but on a 80/20 rule - 80% good and 20% what I feel like.
I am now on a mission to clear any cr@p in the house and stuff we dont need or use. This makes me feel a lot better. I like order and it makes me feel nice.
Cycling wise I love my riding but I am on the lookout for some new mates to ride with and most of my ex-rowing mates have given up, dont do much, moved away or are way too fast and grumpy to ride with.
One other thing, Peloton stretching classes have been genius for me. I have always stretched but now I am religious as every workout I do 10 mins. I also do a mini back stretch/routing a physio gave to me a long time ago and do it every morning.
Just need to sort my career out 😉
Definitely worth checking cleat position for knees, I swapped to my first pair of 3-bolt in '19 and got the rotation tweak very wrong for my left knee, had to spend lot of summer spinning very easy gears and gradually introduce z4+ segment chasing and Zwift races/intervals.
At 40, I was in a job I hated, that involved driving 50K miles a year and staying away from my Wife and young family at least three (up to five) nights a week. Was unfit, massively overweight and had no interest in doing anything.
Then I got made redundant, no redundancy pay as I had been on a fixed term contract (that 'would always be renewed' - until it wasn't). I had no savings and needed to earn £2k a month to pay the bills and feed the family.
I found a training course that I thought was vaguely interesting in a sector I had never considered spent £995 on a course that I couldn't afford and started my own business. Fast forward 17 years and I have my own successful business, a range of new qualifications that I could never have dreamed of, employ 15 people and enjoy a cycling holiday at least once a year. I am fitter than most of my peers, still a bit overweight but no longer morbidly obese.
My life began again at 42. Was it easy, no - to this day my wife still asks are we getting paid this month. Was it worthwhile, hell yes. Did I ever think I would get this far - never in a million years.
When I look back at who I was and who I am now, I am basically the same person, the redundancy gave me the imperative to succeed.
If I can do it you can too.
As a footnote, there is huge value in getting help. Over the years I have seen hypnotherapists, counsellors and I currently have a business coach to speak to. It just helps to have someone else in your corner.
40 is the new 30 and even past 50 I’m still only about 35 in my head. Enjoyed a morning round the Glentress black this morning, that’s not something I would have considered 20 years ago.
Age is a number - as they all say - "You don't stop cycling because you grow old. You grow old because you stop cycling."
I live by this mantra, 58 this year and I get up at 5am go to the gym for an hour,walk the dogs, then go and do a days work.
I've had a few setbacks, walked out of a cushy job at 55, not a shrewd move I thought at the time. Got a great job a few weeks later in a supermarket (don't knock it), team was great, customers okay. Then got another job fermenting bacteria, closer to home, now have a life.
Something will always come up, it gets a little rocky, but it's all part of the learning process - everydays a school day.
Thanks for the further replies. Definitely helping.
So, update on my knee. Physio is pretty much certain it is a meniscus tear, but a light one, thankfully. He is confident with some work and patience I can be back to normal within 4-6 weeks. Starting today.
Life is what you want it to be. The only thing that stands in your way is the barriers that you put in front of yourself. That may seem trite but if you strip everything back to the basics then its true.
Figure out what you want.
Figure out how to get there and just go for it.
You may get sidetracked in a different direction but that's cool. What's important is that you take positive steps in the direction you want to go. You really dont want to look back in your 70s and hate the person you are because you didn't have what it took to go and get what you wanted.
Life is what you want it to be. The only thing that stands in your way is the barriers that you put in front of yourself. That may seem trite but if you strip everything back to the basics then its true.
I totally agree. It's all in my hands. But of course easier said than done. I had another panic attack last night, actually after a solo bike ride. No idea why, maybe it's all playing in the back of my mind.
Just remember, there are a lot of people in their 70's and 80's who would give everything they have to be 40.
Your future starts with today, so crack on and make it a good day. Build on it day by day, week by week. Of course you can be fitter, healthier and having more fun in your 50's, 60's, 70's onwards than you do now. Im way past 40 and enjoy life more now than when I was 40. Im fitter as well.
Oil and gas (at least offshore) is a shitty industry these days and just not worth it for me due to, a) getting sick of it and burning out, and b) the pay being half of what I got back in the 00s. I had some good times but TBH some of the most miserable times in my life working for certain offices. The true colours of some management were shown when the oil prices tanked.
Anyway, I've been away for a few years now so hard to go back. I've got no interest anyway.
Not interested in working in an office either, so considering some kind of trade job which I'm looking into. Don't need massive money. Thank God I paid my house off a few years ago and didn't waste all my money.
Currently still working part-time in a supermarket which TBH isn't all that terrible, but need something better.
So, moving house has taken a few extra steps. We are actively looking at a couple of new builds out near Buxton for example. I like the location a lot, despite the thought of bleak winters up there.
I would like some advice on getting a mortgage for the first time at the tender age of almost 40. My partner has had a mortgage now for over 10 years, on her second home which she now shares with me. We have very similar wages, secure enough jobs. Now I went through 8-10 years of a lot of debt, had no savings etc, but never got into any difficulties. Never missed a payments, clean history in that sense. This was all cleared about 2 years ago now and I'm saving now and more comfortable than I ever thought I would be (relatively speaking). Do lenders look that far back and will it influence the outcome? The mortgage will be about 30-40% LTV and we wont be paying out much more than we currently are. I don't want to start getting exited and then we get knocked back because of my history.
If you didn't miss any payments or default on anything then you should be fine. Not having had a mortgage before won't harm you in your application, it's more based upon what you can afford and by the sounds of it you'll be fine there too.
Best bet is to speak to an independent financial advisor. Some mortgage lenders won't deal with IFAs (HSBC used to be one), but a lot will. They can help advise on the basics of how to handle your partners current mortgage, equity split etc.
