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Starter for ten:
"Never try to keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level, it's cheaper."
Quentin Crisp.
"Those who risk nothing, do nothing, achieve nothing, become nothing!" David Jefferies 1972-2003
"Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read" Groucho Marx
"What the @#$% was that?"
- Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945
"I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record . . ."
Last words of Dylan Thomas, before collapsing at a New York bar.
"Son, your body's writing cheques your ego can't cash" Stinger Top Gun 1986
or
"Be excellent to each other" Bill S Preston and Theodore Ted Logan 1989
I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind. Ed Rooney
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. Ferris Bueller
What will I do with all the time I have saved? Ludovic Kennedy
"I may look daft but at least I can go and get changed....you'll still be a fat **** later"
me to the fat bloke at work that s****s at me every morning when I arrive in my bike kit.
"If I had a good quote I'd be wearing it".
Bob Dylan.
"Cycle tracks will abound in Utopia " ~ H.G. Wells
Racing is life. Anything before or after is just waiting." Steve McQueen
few more latet...
"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." Henry David Thoreau
what you risk reveals what you value
Jeanette Winterson
"To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems" Homer Simpson.
I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn't try it on. Billy Connolly
In Africa we say god gave the white man a watch and gave the black man time.
This is our excuse for relaxed time keeping.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Albert Einstein
A mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open - Frank Zappa
I have spent most of my money on drugs, women and alcohol; the rest I wasted! OWTTE
George Best
R.I.P
Appropriate for some on here:
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." Winston Churchill
One for the climbers out there:
I'm looking for the cleanest line on the steepest face
And
...This was back in the 60's when sex was safe and climbing was dangerous.
Yvonne Chouinard.
When in doubt, run it out! Cause of many glorious failures...........
There's no I in TEAM but there's 2 U's YOU CU**, Which HR kindly asked me to take down. 😯
What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof.
Christopher Hitchens
" I'm completely against animal testing. They get all nervous and give the wrong answers "
Stephen Fry
“I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.” – Richard Dawkins.
"The president of the United States has claimed, on more than one occasion, to be in dialogue with God. If he said that he was talking to God through his hairdryer, this would precipitate a national emergency. I fail to see how the addition of a hairdryer makes the claim more ridiculous or offensive." — Sam Harris (Letter to a Christian Nation)
“What need is there to weep over parts of life ... the whole of it calls for tears - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
Do what you can with what you have where you are.
Roosevelt I think.
Yes - my name is Igglepiggle,
Igglepiggle, wiggle, niggle, diggle!Yes - my name is Igglepiggle,
Igglepiggle, niggle, wiggle, woo!
- Igglepiggle, 2010
My favorite Hitchens quote -
“Islam makes very large claims for itself. In its art, there is a prejudice against representing the human form at all. The prohibition on picturing the prophet – who was only another male mammal – is apparently absolute. So is the prohibition on pork or alcohol or, in some Muslim societies, music or dancing. Very well then, let a good Muslim abstain rigorously from all these. But if he claims the right to make me abstain as well, he offers the clearest possible warning and proof of an aggressive intent.”
"Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men" -Douglas Bader
"£238.00" Go Compare
Surely the ultimately quotable person has to be the genius that is Douglas Adams with pearls such as:
"In the beginning the universe was created, this made a lot of people angry and was considered by many as a bad move"
"That was uglier than a lion raping a sheep"
- Rob Warner, from today's Freecaster world cup downhill coverage.
In this life you can be oh-so-smart or oh-so-pleasant, For years I was smart; I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.
Elwood P. Dowd.
straight from my facebook page:
"Capitalism is organised crime, and we are all its victims." - The Refused, The Shape of Punk to Come
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing." - Albert Einstein.
"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated" - Gandhi.
"How does it make you feel, to take a life in just one meal?" - The Vandals.
"I thought of that while riding my bike" - Albert Einstein (on the theory of relativity.)
"“When we look at modern man, we have to face the fact that modern man suffers from a kind of poverty of the spirit, which stands in glaring contrast with a scientific and technological abundance. We've learned to fly the air as birds, we've learned to swim the seas as fish, yet we haven't learned to walk the Earth as brothers and sisters.” - Martin Luther King
"No one ever died of tired legs" Lance Armstrong
Someone on here I cannot remember who it was but its become my tagline.I thought it was good practise to back up what you say with evidence, otherwise you could spout any old nonsense.
EinsteinAs the circle of light increases, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it
'God is good'..........a friend from the past.
Marital advice from an aquaintance;
"Tek some Viagra then shag 'er til she's shaking like a shittin' dog."
Even typing it makes me laugh..
if you think education is expensive try ignorance
Edward Bok
his name writes a cheque his face cant cash
Sue Perkins [iirc] on Lord Adonis
You never see a positive drug story on the news. They always have the same LSD story. You've all seen it: "Today a young man on acid...thought he could fly...jumped out of a building...what a tragedy!" What a dick. He's an idiot. If he thought he could fly why didn't he take off from the ground first? Check it out? You don't see geese lined up to catch elevators to fly south; they fly from the ****ing ground. He's an idiot. He's dead. Good! We lost a moron? ****ing celebrate. There's one less moron in the world.
Wouldn't you like to see a positive LSD story on the news? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition?, perhaps? Wouldn't that be interesting? Just for once?
"Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration – that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather
Bill Hicks
She's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro.
We love Bill.
“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your ****in' mouth.” Bill Hicks. A tragedy that he died when he was at his best.
"If it takes ten to kill you, I'll take nine" - Tom Simpson