[Closed] Lack of passion for anything

Being passionate about volunteering to help with Parkrun sounds healthy and positive. It wouldn't happen without volunteers.

Yeah pretty much me for the last 5 years (except I don't really do anything these days, need to drag myself back into cycling...). Mind you I've never really been passionate about hobbies or work, when I was cycling it was more the social aspect (rarely used to go out on my own and soon got bored if I did). I just keep reminding myself things could be a lot worse but yeah things should probably be better to (or at least my outlook on it).

Buy a packraft*

You seem to be doing a LOT. Running and riding 7 or more times a week is tons and I can imagine it’s a bit of a treadmill (no joke intended).

Try something new.

*I don’t mean buy a packraft really, but I’ve just got one and it’s added a whole new level of fun to outdoor stuff and I’m currently loving the rain as it means I can go play in the river.

Have an affair, spice things up a bit...

Or

Mix it up - get involved in something else, develop a new hobby, learn something new. Etc 🙂

Ennui innit.

I recognise this as I do it myself often enough. For me it was realising this is just the way things seem to interest me. For instance I've been on and off mountain bikes (maybe 4 or 5 times) since 93,interspersed with road cycling, running and a bit of triathlon. Rather than being bothered I've shelved something again I now accept thats my natural order of things.

Recently I've started snowboarding again( revisiting something I used to do) and motorcycles which is something I always wanted to do. So my advice is pick up an old hobby or try one you always fancied.

Work is functional (it pays the mortgage…)

This might be a contributing factor. I find when I am enthused with my job I'm more enthused with my life outside of work. I've lost interest in my current job and as my interest has waned I find myself struggling to get motivated about other things.

I can see where you are coming from, it's possible to get into a total lull.

I tend to find pleasure in the simple things some times, making good coffee, baking good bread, home cooked stuff. It takes me away from a job where I talk and work with people not actually making anything obvious myself, food based work gives me something practical that has a process (the recipe) and an outcome, the food/drink at the end.

As for skiing, if you can't get excited about that then maybe you need help (this is totally tongue in cheek by the way).

As mentioned above, 7 sessions of stuff a week may be draining you of the energy to get passionate about anything else.

I agree and am kind of in the very same position. It sounds a little bit like depression, but I don't feel particularly depressed...just completely apathetic about everything.

I work in the news business and feel that humanity is on such an absurd path and that the news is so absurd, that I can't really motivate myself to do anything beyond the minimum. I'm even struggling with holidays as I understand that they are so damaging to the planet.

I've been trying to dedicate an hour a day to going back to my old political philosophy notes (from university) and textbooks to try and become a little more articulate (for my own understanding!) of what I feel and how society might be influencing that feeling. It has made me feel positive that I am doing something to help my current impasse!

What field of work are you in? I would be interested to hear more about your own situation...I'm at mail@(remove)joesheffer.com

First world problems

You like volunteering to do the ParkRun. Why not suggest to your employers that you would like to do further volunteering and ask if they would allow (for example) a day a month working with a local charity - we have one local to us http://www.opencountry.org.uk/ that works with disabled people walking, cycling etc.

Make some babies?

I agree and am kind of in the very same position. It sounds a little bit like depression, but I don’t feel particularly depressed…just completely apathetic about everything.

Yep, this. It's definitely not depression, I know what that looks like from people close to me and it's not that.

I work in recruitment, have done for 15 years, no passion for the job, but then arguably, I never have had any passion for it so that's not a change.

I'm trying a few new things, recently started a photography course, but in truth I'm finding a bit underwhelming...

Joe, mail sent.

I thought it was just a middle aged thing, where you gain enough experience to realise everything is ****ing pointless.

[i]As for skiing, if you can’t get excited about that then maybe you need help (this is totally tongue in cheek by the way).[/i]

Funny that - I blimmin love snowboarding and skiing (I want to learn to get better at skiing), but I really can't be arsed with the faff of getting to a resort (and back) and everything around the probably hour or 2 of actually sliding down the slopes you do. Not a good way to be.

Same here. I am 47, work/life balance is amazing, more disposable income then ever (though that may change after seeing a meeting pop up for tomorrow with my boss and HR) but I struggle to get excited about much at all. I am enjoying seeing my kids getting more involved in bikes and more often than not a slow ride with the kids brings more smiles than my normal 'me time' rides. Maybe we have had it too good for too long and our expectations for excitement and fun are out of proportion to what is actually available.

Totally understand why you can't get excited about skiing, mainstream middle class injury opportunity every winter/spring 🙂

Mmmmm rings true with me in some ways. "You're dead inside" is often thrown about in banter with me. But i really do struggle to raise a strong emotion in many ways. I enjoy things, enjoy doing things, but excited, nah, i just can't do excited...
The good news is, i don't do unhappy though either 🙂

Joe, you can PM on this site if you are logged in. Just click the little rectangle box at the top on the left.

This is a very interesting thread and it's something I've been struggling with myself for a little while. I've a good job, great family and while I'll never be rich I'm not starving either. Just feel a bit ... flat.

Oddly I've been speaking to more and more people that feel similar. I don't know if it's because we're of an age where this sort of thing kicks in, or if there's suddenly more people that feel like it.

This

I thought it was just a middle aged thing, where you gain enough experience to realise everything is **** pointless.`

And This

This might be a contributing factor. I find when I am enthused with my job I’m more enthused with my life outside of work. I’ve lost interest in my current job and as my interest has waned I find myself struggling to get motivated about other things.

Or as it used to be called in the olden days, a midlife crisis. ie, when you realise that a job is just a job, you more days behind you then in front, your not young fit and healthy anymore.

Traditional solution include, affairs, sports cars/bikes etc etc

Yes very much so, but I'm pretty certain I am suffering from depression following breaking my spine on the bike. Really I should be delighted as things have gone relatively well and I know I dodged one hell of a bullet.

But nothing seems to give me a great deal of pleasure at the moment. Similar to you I love a holiday. Love the planning as much as the trip itself. But at the moment I'd be happier just staying at home. Riding is a chore as it's uncomfortable physically and mentally.

I worry that my wonderful supportive wife will tire of this shell of my old self. Had therapy, but can't say it has helped hugely. I was never the most positive of people, that probably doesn't help. I feel like I've knocked over my half empty glass!

Oh god totally relate to this thread. Cold and dead inside here too <waves cheerily> despite outward appearances.

Ruddy 'ell - I was thinking of posting a similar thread myself! I struggle to get excited by anything any more.

I've got a voucher for 6 people to go karting sat on the mantle-piece - just can't be bothered to sort out dates for everyone to go.

Took up archery last year as a 'must get out and do something' thing. Stuck with it for 4 months! Bow now sat in attic.

The mental capacity to think of anything exciting to do is lacking as well - I draw a complete blank.

(muffin-man aged 50)

Have you tried coke & hookers??

Being serious though, I and many of my other middle aged male friends feel the same. Nothing to be unhappy about as decent jobs, healthy relationships, good social life etc, but just feel everything is a bit of a treadmill and can’t really get excited about things. Case in point, currently waiting to head off the BPW this afternoon for 3 days of playing on the bike with good mates, but not really bothered!

Get yourself injured* - not Chris Froome injured, but just enough to keep you from doing what you would normally do.

For instance, being bitten on the back of your leg by a large angry dog, resulting in a DVT which is picked up early so not a life threatening one. I understand this example is probably quite difficult to replicate so you could always pick your own injury instead 🙂

Anyway, being unable to walk, never mind run or cycle will have you chomping at the bit in no time. It would probably also mean you had to miss volunteering at parkrun for a few weekends as you wouldn't be able to stand/sit for the required amount of time, which would no doubt eff you off no end!!!!

I may have experienced similar to the above recently which prevented me from doing anything for about 3 weeks. I was going mad trying to get back at it. Fortunately my leg is recovering well and I'm able to go and do the things I enjoy. I still have plenty of work to do to get back to pre injury level which is my current motivation.

* Don't get injured on purpose please 🙂

STW does it again... was thinking of posting similar myself when half way round one of my 4 weekly runs.... I stopped, thought what the blooming point, and walked the whole way back.

All my get and go, has got up and gone.

Been going through the motions of ages really but fIrst world problem indeed ... I quite literally don't want for anything.

Having a extension ... it will not make me any happier in the house ... don't really want it

Had a Kombi pipe dream for ages ... whats the point it'll get used 3/4 times a year... dont really want it

Fancy wild camping.... but don't really want to buy MORE stuff.

Last holiday, 3 weeks ago ,stressed me out more than just the regular routine.

Anyway thanks for allowing me to vent.

You say it doesn’t seem like depression, but I find one of the weird things about depression is I often don’t recognise it until I come out of the other side. The mind has a way of putting it down to other things. I try and stay alert to this now.

Been like it since I turned 50, almost 2 years ago. Nothing wrong with my life but it just seems a bit beige. Should be grateful for small mercies I suppose as I still have my health and fitness.

I'll not go into any details of my situation but just quote the great Leonard Cohen

Looks like freedom but it feels like death
It's something in between, I guess

Very much a first world problem. If I do feel a bit meh about everything I imagine being half way across the channel in a an overcrowded rubber boat having lost everything I've ever worked for with just the clothes on my back desperate to reach a place where my greatest fear will be being a bit bored.

Only difference between a rut and a grave is death.

I'm stuck in the same old same old, increasingly trapped and deskilled at work, lots of time spent supporting kids in their stuff, aging parents now needing more time and support, time and energy to get out of the hole slipping away.

Volunteering was my outlet a couple of years ago when it all got a bit on top of me mentally, struggling to find time to fit that in now, but met some wonderful people through that and seeing them and other projects develop has been hugely rewarding.

Sometimes you just need to take a step back, have a moment for yourself and realise all the good stuff you help support.

Or as it used to be called in the olden days, a midlife crisis. ie, when you realise that a job is just a job, you more days behind you then in front, your not young fit and healthy anymore.

Traditional solution include, affairs, sports cars/bikes etc etc

Very much +1
Don't overthink it.
I'll just add to the solutions with buy a bmx / skateboard, jet ski, boat. From experience of a friend, suddenly unexpectedly replacing your knackered old diesel saloon with a top of the range AMG Mercedes appears to help!!
Also, watch the Simpsons episode 'natural born kissers'.

I like the idea of a mid-life crisis but sadly am not that enthusiastic about it! I keep debating a new bike but have plenty that fit my needs already. I came very close to buying a Breitling a few months ago and then thought "why am I buying this?!". I may be about to get a new car, but I'm not sure an inherited Fiat Punto from my in-laws is mid-life crisis territory!
Class-A's no longer appeal either, which is a route an old friend has gone down.
Plus, I'm "only" 39, so not sure I'm old enough for all this stuff yet anyway!

I keep debating a new bike but have plenty that fit my needs already

There's your problem right there. Buy a new bike, not because you need one, just because you can and for the sake of doing something that's indulgent and has no other purpose. Its kind of liberating. Don't analyse it, don't try to justify it, just do it because it crossed your mind as something that might be nice.

Get a new hobby.

Feeling exactly the same, going through the motions on the bike, due road riding in the Alps soon, can’t get excited about it. Was signed off work with depression last week, first time ever had something like this.

Have very good job, work are understanding, lots of toys, spend most time reading now, great family, live in a great rural area, but everything feels meh.

Lost all drive and focus at work and at home, am incredibly competitive but can’t be bothered at present

Weird just been feeling the same lately. Feel like I'm going through the motions with riding despite getting a dream bike last September. Life is good, want for nothing but i do suspect all the brexit and political and environmental turmoil may be getting to me. 38 so bit young for a mid life crisis? I do wonder if because life is sorted there are not the lows experienced in youth so without lows the highs are not as high it's just a level.
Anyway not complaining as i feel extremely privileged and i accept that life has different phases it's just nice to share with you lot feeling the same way and at least we're not as miserable as Grimep must be judging by their replies to most threads.

I am just over 40 and get a bit lethargic from time to time. I have found that a tweeks to your bike or even a shiny new one gets me enthused. I have just bought an ebike and that has got me out of the house loads more.

My regular riding buddies like to get out on other activities also. We did a hike over the alps a couple of years ago after driving down there. It was awesome. Sat on the top of a mountain p****d out my brain and watching the space station flying over. I try to think of each adventure as a memory I can treasure.

Something that I think helps me is that I don't have a grand plan. I live life very short term. Always look forward to the next adventure.

but I don’t feel particularly depressed…just completely apathetic about everything.

Well, so that sort of thing is very common in mild/early depression, or dysthymia if you prefer. Not saying it is in your case but it might be. Lack of interest/apathy towards activities you used to enjoy, the feeling of it's too much effort to go and do whatever activity I used to enjoy.

To the OP. You may be overtraining and simply fatigued.

To the OP. You may be overtraining and simply fatigued

Yep, I'm that way too.  If I stop training I get lethargic, do it too much and I just get too tired.  The trick seems to be finding things that are still fun but don't require spending all the time as you start to thing the point in keeping moving is so that other people can make money.  The best times are still the simplest but they do feel far between sometimes.

Buy a puppy... that's what I did! 😀

Similar thing here. Lack of energy and enthusiasm to ride bikes.
Luckily I found sailing about a year ago.
Every Monday me and Mrs cloudnine go sailing together.
We've had various coaching and courses and are now pretty competent sailors.
Mrs cloudnine is also now qualified dinghy instructor (she's sailed longer than I have.

Similar position here. I put it down to being fed up in the job/way of life this brings i.e mon -fri is pretty much ground hog day. Then trying to cram everything you want to do in 2 days!

We should start a club, we'd have a huge membership just have to get round the problem of no one bothering to turn up for any of our meetings

Id suggest getting some chickens. Seriously they are a great distraction from the daily grind, and give you a reason to get up in the morning, and be doing something in the evening. They require practically no maintenance, they just potter about clucking and f****** everything up and popping out an egg each day. Holidays can be more of a bind of course, but if you're off those anyway, they give you a great excuse to stay at home. Love my 4, and my neighbours have some too that get with ours and hang out. There's two on the doorstep to my office (I work from home-sort of) right now trying to get in out of the rain with a sort of wimpering cluck. Brilliant.

Yup this is me too, tried to explain it that I sometimes feel like I’m just a hollow shell of a man, shouldn’t though because life is good, I’m going to try and paper over the cracks with a new bike. 47 so must be a midlife crisis!

Me too.

Autumn is fun isn't it...?

Meh, it used to be...cant be arsed with it anymore

I quite agree nuke.