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Meeting Joe Black.
Please die already. All of you. Now.
AI
How many endings can a film have. All rubbish. Is it wrong to want to punch a (robot) child?
If we are to discuss 'hostile' audiences whilst watching something that is a matter of taste, then it has to be a GF dragging me to a packed screen at one of the local cinemas to watch Mama Mia. I was just trying to sit there and get through the film, minding my own business, but surrounded by hundreds of screaming, singing women that were jumping around, banging my seat and creating real fear in me have probably produced one of the worst viewing experiences I've ever lived through.
Almost as bad as the time me and a mate had the misfortune to walk past the entrance of a theatre in Scarborough when hundreds of drunken, sex starved middle aged (and above) women piled out of a Chippendales show.
Killer Elite. At first glance you think "Hmmm... DeNiro, Clive Owen..." then you ignore the fact the "star" is Jason Statham. Just total drivel from start to finish despite the fact it's based on a true story. Apparently.
some film that had a woman as the lead like a female Bourne identity, with Ewan Mcgregor playing a bit part, it was only 6 months ago and I can't remember the title, nor can I be bothered to google it.
"The Boat That Rocked"
The only cinema showing that I've ever walked-out of -plenty of others did the same.
Truly, truly dire.
I watched Hobo with a Shotgun, and I can see why it gets a cult following - it's awful!!
The Boat That Rocked... remember seeing the adverts for that and even they made me want to stick pins in my eyes.
Or GI Joe, Rise of the Cobra?
this + a number that looks a lot like a sideways 8...
My vote is "mega-python vs Gataroid" starring Tiffany. They feed alligators steroids to combat giant, nae mega sized pythons. That's right! Stinker.
I remember watching that on syfy. It was up to the usual syfy standard, however it stayed on as I have a thing for Tiffany. The police tell me she doesn't want it though. ๐ณ
She's still well hot. Better for loosing the denim jacket in a shopping centre.
She's still well hot. Better for loosing the denim jacket in a shopping centre.
You know she did playboy I assume? As did Debbie Gibson
You know she did playboy I assume? As did Debbie Gibson
WHAT?
hmm, probably shouldn't google that at work.......
some film that had a woman as the lead like a female Bourne identity, with Ewan Mcgregor playing a bit part, it was only 6 months ago and I can't remember the title, nor can I be bothered to google it.
this?
Utter Chuffing Bobbins......I was expecting so much more and something that resembled a film, not an art-house take on a female Bourne
Transformers 2 was a film about robots killing each other.
It wasn't though, that was the problem. There was FAR too much Shia Labouef / Megan Whatsherface general blathering, and nowhere NEAR enough robots smacking the crap out of each other. 3 was ok though.
I quite enjoyed Haywire.
@dogbert - Yep - that was it! -absolute tripe- story was completely full of holes
Anyone said 'Coyote Ugly' ? - unconscionable sh*te. Just one long and hugely boring Martini advert.
It wasn't though, that was the problem. There was FAR too much Shia Labouef / Megan Whatsherface general blathering, and nowhere NEAR enough robots smacking the crap out of each other. 3 was ok though.
I think where the Transformers films went wrong is that they took themselves far too seriously for what should have been films about big robots kicking the crap out of each other. The first one is passable enough because of the novelty to turn your brain off but the other two tried to get too serious. This is where The Avengers was so good I think - Joss Whedon managed to write it so there was a lot of action, you cared about the characters and plot, but it didn't take itself seriously at all and in places could almost of have been a comedy (and that worked!).
there should be categories of badness, cause some films are bad because of low budgets bad scripts and cheap special effects.
examples of this are...
[url= http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067515/ ]Octaman[/url]
[url= http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0192251/ ]lionman[/url]
two truly awful productions.
some film are quite "polished" and have had plenty of money thrown at them and are still bad and quite a few have been mentioned above, transformers haywire etc High budget B-movies.
I think where the Transformers films went wrong is that they took themselves far too seriously for what should have been films about big robots kicking the crap out of each other. The first one is passable enough because of the novelty to turn your brain off but the other two tried to get too serious. This is where The Avengers was so good I think - Joss Whedon managed to write it so there was a lot of action, you cared about the characters and plot, but it didn't take itself seriously at all and in places could almost of have been a comedy (and that worked!).
This.
I go to be entertained, which sometimes means not having to rue the lack of a media studies degree in order to understand the film, instead it's brain in neutral while things fall down, go BOOM!
I loved Avengers, I loled so many times, Whedon was the best possible person for the film.
Melancholia was the worst I've seen this year , truly bloody awful. Usually anything with an ex Friends star in it will be bad (especially Chandler). Also the Date / Epic movie spoof by the Wayans brothers.
Setup. Just don't.
What was it about a film with 50-cent, Ryan Phillipe and Bruce Willis that didn't scream AVOID!!!!!! to you?
Another awful film I saw, but this one is supposed to be a classic.
[url= http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071910/ ]The Night Porter[/url]
The dark and melancholy story of a former teenage Nazi concentration camp inmate, Lucia, and the S.S. officer who was her torturer/lover, Max , who accidentally meet again in a Vienna hotel in 1957 where Max works as the night porter. They resume their sadomasochistic relationship, although Max's former S.S. comrades have something different in mind for them
Awful dross.
3 clear contenders....
Burn [s]after reading[/s] before watching - a good cast wasted
The men who stare at goats ditto
The [s]curious[/s] tedious case of benjamin button - far too long to get to.the horrid and inevitable ending.
And while I am having a strop .... Inception ....ffs
Transformers 3 was Hoping for a unplug brain ( big robot fights etc) drain a few beers and chill it was utter pony turned it off in the end!
Looking forward to avengers and Prometheus though!!!
I'll agree that Open Water is utterly dire. Irreversable has got to be up there too. I'd also to mention this: [url= http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=554050497526469743 ]Not sure i dare write the title here[/url]
You are only scratching the surface of awful films, I'll raise it a bit with Mama Mia, even well lubricated with a days worth of various lagers I couldn't take more than five minutes of it.

