[Closed] Just how angry and vengeful would you be if this happened to your kid at school

I agree with you that the whole "what happens in school, stays in school" approach to such issues results in kids knowing that they're untouchable. I'm not sure the police will do much though. I agree with you that it needs to be taken more seriously... by who, and at whose instigation is a tricky path to navigate though. Really feel for the kid and the parents. I think that as either the kid or the parents I would be very unhappy with a one day suspension and general talk to the school.

Maybe it's different in England but if that happened in Scotland the cops would have to be involved.

It doesn't matter that it's minors who've done it it's still sharing of inappropriate images of a child.

I’m with you OP. If that wasn’t in school it would be dealt with much more seriously than a one day exclusion.

My autistic son received far harsher punishment for behaviour even when his educational needs weren’t being met, actually it was systematic failure of the school in not meeting his needs.

The fact the school want to keep it in-house is to avoid the seriousness of the incident being reported to the police and LEA. I’d be doing anything and everything to make it a police matter.

It is exceptionally serious, and should be treated as such.
But, it’s also important to keep perspective, they’re kids, kids do stupid shit precisely because they’re kids and lack the insight to danger that adults have.
I reckon

the police treat it like the criminal office that it is and whilst not demand the boy is prosecuted, I think him being arrested and then let off with a warning sends a much stronger message to the school community

Is probably the way to go.
Allowing kids to think they’re untouchable is not doing them any favours in the long run.

I might be over reacting

You might be.

the approach being advocated by the father is to not involve the police and be happy with the school’s current response, which is a one day exclusion for the culprit and a general talk from a police officer about the dangers of social media.

Is it a 13 year old kid who tried to play a prank and didn't think about it, or a kid with a history of bullying? Kids do dumb shit sometimes, I know I did when I was that age. Without knowing the circumstances, I'm on the dad's side on this. Being angry is understandable, but will calling in police to terrorize 13 year old kids actually achieve anything that just talking to them won't?

Yep inappropriate image of a child. Sharing of an inappropriate image both illegal. Mrs 100th deals with RSOs and this would have the child on the register.
Maybe also raise that the adult who hold the credit agreement for the phone has responsibility for it's use I'm sure there's an "allowing" crime there too.

To answer your question ****ing livid.

Is it a 13 year old kid who tried to play a prank and didn’t think about it, or a kid with a history of bullying? 

That doesn't matter, sharing inappropriate images of a child is illegal. Get the cops in and make sure due process occurs. If its a prank gone wrong then that will be taken into account but the proper authorities need to make those decisions and the proper authority here is not the school or even the parents, it's the police.

Yes, yes it will be
He will have to have a parent there as well as he is a minor.
They might have to arrest him, interview under caution then release or un arrest, pending further inquiries which might or might not happen
If the family feel the need he might be kept waiting for a duty solicitor.
This might make the guy think abit more before recording naked people amd sharing via the Internet.
I am sure there are many laws against that kind of thing

I would be very pissed off. It's not just 'a prank'. A prank would be to pretend you'd done it then admit you hadn't, or something similar. This is an actual offence.

Also, knowing how kids can be very self-conscious at this age, I would suggest that letting the kid off with a talking to is not enough.

There are kids around and about where we live who you hear about every so often and they've just gone and done something 'next level' from the last time. I think a bit of terrorising is in order here.

The whole 'hush it up and handle it internally' thing is how proper 'beasts' get away with it for so long.

It does sound like a criminal offence has been committed. This shouldn’t be swept under the carpet and should be reported.

The Criminal Justice System doesn’t exist to satisfy a desire for personal vengeance but this incident does offer an opportunity for a life lesson to whoever filmed this but also those who have distributed it.

As above, i would be asking the school for a meeting with the head/deputy and their police liaison officer to discuss the way ahead, i wouldn't be leaving it in the schools hands, as they are looking at the image of the school, and possibly the offenders parents talking about their little angel.

the police liaison should be able to provide the suitable options, but a 1 day exclusion, that's not even a punishment, that's a day off school for breaking the law!

The school needs to step up and involve the police.
It will show that they do actually care about the children who go there and will scare the crap out of anyone thinking that this is an ok thing to do.

Maybe the school is scared of bad publicity.

The victim needs to know he matters. Police should be involved.

I'd have honestly thought the school don't have a choice, this surely must be something they have to report by law.

I’d have honestly thought the school don’t have a choice, this surely must be something they have to report by law.

Yep handling internally badly smells a cover up.

Although we don’t know the full extent of it ,the video may not have been that bad and the school feels that it was silliness as opposed to malice and handling it the way they are may have a better outcome.

I’d have honestly thought the school don’t have a choice

I'm surprised the school have a choice here.  You can't tell if the school are not taking it further because they know something you don't or because someone has out pressure on them.   The one day punishment sounds incredibly light compared to what the child who was videoed went through.  Something doesn't feel quite right

I would want the police involved even if only for a severe telling off.

to me this idea of using the police for a telling off seems like a waste of police time and anyway who makes the decision to prosecute?

Its either let the school deal with it and press for a harsher punishment or get the police involved and the perp gets arrested and prosecuted and goes on the sex offenders register. Is that proportionate? I do not know but its a drastic step

Personally I would need more info but I don't think the halfway house of getting the police involved but not prosecuting is right

Same as weeksy. The school shouldn’t decide, the police should be informed and let them deal with it.

it seems to me that the school is trying to brush it under the carpet.

i would inform the police and ask the school and the LEA for an explanation of why the situation was handled in the way that it was.

after i had calmed down.

What does the kid want? It may be malicious or it may be stupidity, but he's probably in the best position to judge that.

or get the police involved and the perp gets arrested and prosecuted and goes on the sex offenders register. 

There are quite a few options for police involvement short of that.

As you say though, we don’t know the details and I for one don't want to know!

What does the kid want?

If a crime has been committed then it's not really up to them is it?

There are quite a few options for police involvement short of that.

Are there? The police do not make the decision to prosecute or not - thats with the procurator fiscal or CPS. The police cannot decide to drop what is potentially a very serious offense - filming a child undressing and posting it on tik tok

I think it’s safe to assume that we don’t and won’t know about the decision making behind the scenes - I am certain that it will have been raised to the safeguarding team and options discussed before decisions were made, and they will have all the evidence in front of them. The school do have a duty to report it and will have done.

I’d imagine if Ofsted heard about the school’s strategy, they’d be swooping in fairly sharpish, given their normal approach to safeguarding. I’m really not impressed with the school here if the OP is describing it accurately.

EDIT:

I am certain…

I wish we could be certain. Unfortunately, sometimes, the chain of decision making gets a bit broken by someone hoping not to make a big deal of it all.

If a crime has been committed then it’s not really up to them is it?

Maybe not, but surely they should have some input. If its a prank by a friend gone wrong they would probably not want to be putting them on the sex offenders register.

I would be asking the school to demonstrate where they have given education to the kids to say that this is not ok. By the age of 13 they should have had that

I’d be asking the parent why they haven’t had that conversation with the kid

Depending on results OFSTED and Police

I wish we could be certain. Unfortunately, sometimes, the chain of decision making gets a bit broken by someone hoping not to make a big deal of it all.

This is too true in my experience. I was basing my assumption on the info that the school had offered low level police involvement, meaning they knew about it. If they do, Ofsted will also be aware via the Safeguarding team.

That’s what should be happening anyway!!

As I tell my kids be very careful what you post on the internet as there will always be a trail to what has been posted.

I would be raging if anyone posted anything like this prank or not the child that posted the images need to feel the full weight of the law if only to set an example to other kids.

I'm sick to the back teeth of kids getting off lightly and not learning lessons, it's the problem we have with knife crime now, if you got 5 years for carrying a knife kids just wouldn't.

Is it a fee paying school by any chance?

Vengeful?

the child that posted the images need to feel the full weight of the law if only to set an example to other kids.

crimial record and on the sex offenders register? Proportionate?

if you got 5 years for carrying a knife kids just wouldn’t.

an approach known not to work at all.

That’s what should be happening anyway!!

Sorry, yes. I didn’t mean my post to be criticising yours. 😀 I’d hope, as you say, all correct procedures had been followed too.

It doesn’t matter that it’s minors who’ve done it it’s still sharing of inappropriate images of a child.

This.

It's a safeguarding issue. The school should have made a referral to their local authorities child safeguarding service, ask them for the referral reference number.

The school "should" have made the referral at the end of the day they became aware and the local authority child safeguarding service "should" process the referral within 24hrs.

If you want impartial child safeguarding advice contact the NSPCC.

How to best deal with the kid who took the video probably depends on whether this is a one off or part of a history of bullying.

But I would also be very keen to see every single person who forwarded the message getting a bollocking too. It might not be fully traceable, but every recipient of the first share at least should be given a talking to, probably from the police if they did anything other than delete it immediately.

The quite understandable sensitivity over sexual offences involving children - and this involves the creation and distribution of indecent images of a child - means that the police don't necessarily have the discretion to just make the perpetrator sweat a bit then let him off with a warning. I'm not sure a caution is available for this offence, so it would need to be referred to the CPS for a charging decision.

If the school has a statutory responsibility to report this, then the police may get involved anyway.

If I were the parent though, I think I'd be looking for the child responsible to be removed from the school, both so the victim doesn't have to share classes with him, and for the message it sends both to him and his peer group about this kind of behaviour.

Mention of sex offenders register seems draconian if we assume it's a one off but I guess it's there to protect against repeat offending?

The fact it's travelled so far in school is bad news for the offender. An example has to be made that will shock widely and deeply. So expulsion seems appropriate.

As I understand it, NPCC guidelines are that it is up to the school to decide whether to involve the police. Whether they do that or not depends on circumstantial evidence that we are unaware of (track record of the child who made the video, nature of the images etc).

When I was at school I witnessed someone pull an air pistol on another student and say “I’m going to shoot you” before lodging an air dart in his eyebrow. The offending child had thought the safety lock was on. The response was a lecture in assembly from the headmaster. The student who brought the air pistol into school was utterly mortified. No further action was taken because of his track record and his response to the incident (despite the boy who was shot being the son of a school governor). It was an appropriate response from the school.

I'd say the current approach risks the outcome of the victim being known as that changing room guy, and the perpetrator being known as the legend that did it and got away with it. Fine line between pranks and bullying, and bullies learn to tread it - I know (from the victim side).

Also replace son with daughter and consider the situation and decisions.

Same as weeksy. The school shouldn’t decide, the police should be informed and let them deal with it.

Definitely this. Quite serious offences have been committed and even if their ages suggest its not a prosecution matter, Police involvement needs to reinforce the seriousness.

Seen the damage that serious offences in school can escalate to when the school try and deal with stuff themselves.

Mention of sex offenders register seems draconian

it would be the outcome of a criminal prosecution tho surely?

it would be the outcome of a criminal prosecution tho surely?

Depends on the charges, the verdict and the sentencing guidelines.

None of which may happen when the Police and CPS have investigated the facts.

Jesus. I can't believe there are people on this thread advocating ruining someone's life over this kind of childish idiocy.Sex offenders register? Are you mad?

The kid should be given a week long suspension, a real bollocking and a good talking to by the local police with his parents.

Well I got arrested and given a police caution in Yr 11 for beating a classmate up who was relentlessly verbally bullying me.

Rightly or wrongly..

So the parents should report it to the police directly. A formal arrest /caution might give the perp a wakeup call if the school won't.