[Closed] Jehovahs whitnesses...

he never listens.

Escalate it to the top - pray they don't come back.

Invite them in - they're not expecting it and you catch them off guard. Then you can try converting them.

Give them Woppit's number, tell them he's unsure of his views and will be wide open for conversion.

"So.... I understand that you people encourage polygamy?"

Then wink at the 50yo lady in the sensible shoes.

A polite 'thank you, but no thank you' and close the door.

As above - just say no thanks
No need to get bothered about it

Remember, whether you believe or not, they are trying to do you a favour. All their door knocking is for our benefit really. What nice folk!

It's the fact that I politely decline and the still come back that bothers me, they seem like nice folk and they are entitled to their beliefs but I can see why people get anoyed by them.

Anarchy in the UK
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.Full volume
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as you answer the door - timed for "I am an antichrist".
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. and smile, manically.
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. Gauranteed not to receive a repeat visit

molgrips - Member

Give them Woppit's number, tell them he's unsure of his views and will be wide open for conversion.

Non-evidenced conjecture.

No need to be rude to anyone, but you can just politely yet firmly tell them you'r really not interested. If the same people come back, then you can ask them to stop harassing you, as you've already told them you're not going to become one of them.

I made the mistake of giving a pair of JWs a cup of tea, once, as it was pissing with rain outside. We had an interesting chat about Greed. Always good to discuss stuff with others.

After a good few Sundays, with them knocking on my door each time, I was reduced to waiting, trying to remain as quiet as possible, until they went away. I had the radio on one time, and the persistent buggers were out there for 15 minutes at least!

I think they've got the message now, they've not been round for a while..

(Cowers under the bed, terrified..)

Ah, they're ok. Just into their own thing, and feel the rest of us should be too. It's well meaning really.

molgrips do you really need to go nuclear so early.

Give them Woppit's number

That'll lead to the formation of a Militant Wing, for sure! 😯

I have advised another thread, querying the advisability of a Scottish excursion, that at least they will be avoiding the midges, or as they are otherwise known, "molgrips's"...

Having known a couple of Jehovas Witnesses through work, there is an easy solution.

You simply request that they do not call again. They keep a list and apparently are quite careful to check before knocking.

We had them round a couple of times as the previous occupants were presumably quite chatty with them, the second time I said don't call again, since then I've seen them in the street but they always skip my door 🙂 Next doors just bangs the door shut and so keeps getting visited!

I made the mistake of giving a pair of JWs a cup of tea, once,

They've started drinking tea now?

invite them in one at a time, slaughter them, chop up into small pieces, flush down loo = won't be bothered again 😛

get yourself one of these & you won't get bothered again by the JW's

[img] [/img]

They've started drinking tea now?

Actually, come to think of it, one had a cup of hot water(??), and the other had a glass of cold water. I did offer them tea, and had a cup myself.

Aren't they supposed to drink tea then? 😯

Aren't they supposed to drink tea then?

no - apparently it's a drug & that's waaaay bad

I just tell em I'm only still alive due to blood transfusions...therefore if I'd been a JW I wouldn't be stood talking to them...and my cute kids(their words) wouldn't have been born!

Couple of twins being brought up locally without their mum...died cos refused blood after childbirth couple of years ago...feel very sorry their dad thought sticking to his beliefs was more important than letting them grow up with a mum 😥

[i]no - apparently it's a drug & that's waaaay bad[/i]

Ahh, that'll be why one of my colleagues wouldn't drink Coke, though the other did he was a bit less fanatical.

Wear tin foil wrapped around your head when you answer the door, explain you hear voices in your head when you take it off. Start taking it off......

Just set molgrips on them. He'll chase them down the street and just keep on going, and going, and going...

Has Katie Holmes forgetten her key again ?

Will try spookys advice, if that don't work I'll give molgrips a call!

Just answer the door naked with a pentacle drawn on your chest (preferably in blood) and invite them in.

It'd be great if you could rig some pyrotecnics around your front door frame to ignite when you open the door too.

Just set molgrips on them.

Actually, I think you'd do a far better job, Woppit! 😀

They came to my house and after a chat for 5 mins over the garden gate, they declared I was too cynical to waste a copy of the Watchtower on. So they gave me a pamphlet about how science proved god's existance, so I told them I'd read it and they could come back for an in depth discussion. I'm still waiting

I would tell them firmly once to stop bothering me - if they came backa gain I would be very rude indeed.

its bang out of order.

Just check out their wikipedia entry to see what they really think about the rest of us and what they beleive , it's very scary!! especially for a religeon thats only a couple of hundred years old.

Talkemada - Member

Just set molgrips on them.

Actually, I think you'd do a far better job, Woppit!

Yes, some fresh meat would be wonderful.

Ask them how 1.2m JWs (approx.) are going to argue the toss over the 144,000 available places in their paradise.

Do the math.

Quite a hottie came and visited last year wanting to see if I would let Jesus into my soul. I was tempted to agree on the proviso she'd let a bit of me into her first, but she brought her pimp with her, so I told them to f&ck off. (but much more politely because they were real people rather than internet people)

derek_starship - Member

Ask them how 1.2m JWs (approx.) are going to argue the toss over the 144,000 available places in their paradise.

Do the math.

Don't you know anything? Jehovah is magic and can do anything. You think he can't manage a little deck shuffling?

[img] [/img]

I knew someone who got them to do jobs for her around the house - I went around one time and they were digging over her garden. Most useful.

I just tell em I'm only still alive due to blood transfusions...therefore if I'd been a JW I wouldn't be stood talking to them...and my cute kids(their words) wouldn't have been born!

I had a similar conversation but about my twins who had been born premature and needed transfusions to survive. One of them said that maybe it was gods way of saying it wasn't meant to be. My actions from that point on mean that they give me an extremely wide birth from now on. 😯

I found it relatively amusing that our dogs had a family of 3 pinned in a corner outside house...

Since that incident they have not been seen!

This lot are ace!
[url] http://www.panacea-society.org/home.htm [/url]
They believe that this allotment in Bedford was the original garden of Eden
[img] [/img]
And own a small terrace house nearby for when the lord returns.

There's a bunch that gather near me, lots of chicks in tight black skirts I'd join them 😛

Get some blood donor leaflets & when they come to the door hand them one. that should do the trick.

I've never had a visit from JWs, ever. I don't see how hard it can be to say "I'm not interested, sorry, and it's probably better if you don't call again".

Just answer the door naked with a pentacle drawn on your chest (preferably in blood)

Be polite to them by saying no but if they come back again just explain to them you are definitely not interested.

In my teen my mum used to have two ladies (between 55 to 60 yr old) visiting her from JW every few months. At their age my mum felt sorry for them to have to walk far to preach so invited them in to give them some drinks and food before letting them continued on their god's work. They were kind and polite but not sure what they could do since my mum was a good "Christian" so they usually chat and left some "story books" for us. I am not into any of the Abrahamic faith so just read the "story books" while in the toilet doing number 2.

"He said Jehovah!"

I've got time for religious door-knockers because they believe soo much in something that they are willing to knock unpaid on someones door to get the humility of rejection.

I'm not keen for someone to knock on my door on behalf of someone who has dropped us £700,000,000,000 in debt thought.

We had Labour party activists knocking on our door and the claw hammer would have come out.

The guy that takes care of our garden is a Witness ( found out they don't like being called Jehovah's.. oops.. *L* ) but we only found out that first year he worked for us when we gave him his Christmas bonus.

He's never tried the "have you read this..." crap on us and yes he took the bonus.

Our cleaning lady when I was a kid was a jovi. She was always at me (I was 12) to join up or at least sit and talk about it for two hours...

I was eventually 'got at' and agreed to read some giant books which she'd brought for me. Unfortunately, I made a book maze for my gerbils to run around in and they decided that the biggest, and most expensive looking book was the perfect place to make a getaway.

They chewed right through the binding and pretty much destroyed it (I found the pesky rodents later, having a snooze behind the snake tank (!). She never offered to leave any more books...........

They do it for thier own benefit as well as ours. Its part of the church rules that they have to go 'doorstepping'. It is part of saving themselves and making sure they are permitted to go on to a better place after death, so in some ways it is a selfish act as much as 'saving other people'.

The lady I knew was expected to attend church events on Sundays and on 2 evenings a week, every single week in addition to door stepping. Many of them have no pensions as they beleive the end of the world will happen before they reach pension age. They are not supposed to marry outside of thier community. Its a very closed life. They are not allowed to vote or support any political parties. They cannot even attend the weddings of friends if they are in non Witness churches. My friend used to stand outside of the church before and after the ceremony if she wanted to see a friend marry.

Thankfully they don't appear to brave doing any door-knocking where we live.

Where my folks' live, however, they turn up mob-handed very frequently.

A mate of mine (who, it is fair to say, was slightly un-hinged) once answered the door to them and asked him about his beliefs. He replied, "I am Jesus!" and kept repeating it. They took offence and backed away. They were still telling him that they hoped he would be saved when they were in the road. Apparently he was still shouting after them when they had given up and were walking briskly out of his cul-de-sac.

Poor JWs, but you do have to ask why they do it.

Religion, man -just say no.

Smile, shake head "I think you've come to the wrong house".

Usually works & no hassle or upset on either side.

What have they Witnessed?

😈

My favourite time was when we invited them in for a healthy discussion and my friend's brother (who happens to be Jewish) took their part against me 🙂

Thye regularly turn up mob handed to convert my wifes whole village (which is fairly remote as the south goes). I didn't belive this till I saw them advancing up the road one morning.

It was like the last act in Witness appropriately enough.

I was asked if I "ever wondered why we are here?" once on my home from college.

I told her I was waiting for the 261

Ask them how 1.2m JWs (approx.) are going to argue the toss over the 144,000 available places in their paradise.

That's why they go door knocking etc. It's part of the "how many good works" can you do during your life that will move you up the pecking order to hopefully make it into the privileged 144,000.

I think you will find there are more than 144,000 places in their heaven, but there is a greater privilege for the top 144,000 hence the enthusiasm to try and make it.

Now for those that do like their religious fairy stories, this is a good one to look at.

I did get door-stepped once and got asked "Do you know you could find happiness through Jesus?"

I just answered honestly and said that I was already feeling quite cheery.

but there is a greater privilege for the top 144,000

I wonder what proportion of forever that would be fun for ? I hadn't heard of 1st & 2nd class heavens before. Shall it be racially segregated too ?