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Agree with jam-bo. Maybe you can't see it. Not a dig at you. No doubt your heart is in the right place, but in answer to the is it me question you do have a particular way with words and arguments
Also this post from the storm thread
someone who only a fortnight ago started a thread complaining about STW being “grumpy and unfunny” blunders into a harmless, fairly jovial, thread with a grumpy comment and immediately turns it into an unfunny us vs them argument
this thread was intended to be about what I perceive as a change in tone on here and wandering if others had seen the same thing
Some agree some do not.
Its not about me ( in general) complaining about my treatment. Live by the sword and die by it
its just seems to me that folk are quicker to take it to personal insults and to be nasty then they used to be
it would seem that some agree with this thesis and perhaps the majority do not.
its just seems to me that folk are quicker to take it to personal insults and to be nasty then they used to be
There is some of that going on. A small selection of posters who tend to jump on certain things and would rather win the argument than discuss a point. Like blokeuptheroad mentioned earlier on this page that they have changed the way they use the forum to make their experience better, I do something similar.
TJ is one of the most helpful, kindest people on here.
I expect everyone on STW is also, but lets not get all Brokeback mountainy here, I mean coupled with those bellend references it's not the mental image i want 😆
Really. I hardly think so.
I assure you there is nothing homophobic about me 😉
If you're saying you're gay and people know you're gay, then those comments are less offensive.
If you're not, or people don't know you're gay, and on a mtb forum it's unlikely they would, then to me, those comments come across as homophobic.
it would seem that some agree with this thesis and perhaps the majority do not.
I don't think the answer is that straightforward. It is undoubtedly true that some punters feel the need to express their disagreement with a point someone has made by resorting to name-calling.
However whilst it's a tactic that clearly you don't use yourself TJ, and are in fact often on the recieving end, you can be highly provocative by being insulting in a completely different way.
For example if you strongly disagree with a point someone has made you will often begin your response with a two-word paragraph such as "Utter nonsense", which some people take as a person insult.
You also seem to struggle accepting that some people have simply come to a different conclusion to yourself. For example you have recently accused me of "doffing my cap" and accepting Tory lies because I don't always post in a way that reflects an intensely deep and undying hatred for every word uttered by a Tory.
Personally I don't mind your indirect insults, partly because I know it's just your way of expressing disagreement and partly because I'm just not really bothered by insults anyway, but I can see how it might cause a reaction in some people who resort with a personal insult back.
I do agree that you do appear to the subject of occasional group bullying though, when everyone seems to pile in, and that's never nice to see.
That’s totally unfair.
Really? which bit? It's not meant to be, TJ makes the comment that he thinks people are quick to take offense, but that's largely restricted to the threads that are by their nature controversial, and no great surprise. If those are the threads you naturally gravitate towards because you're interested in politics or world events , your view of the "tone " of the whole site is going to be skewed, isn't it?
If you’re saying you’re gay and people know you’re gay, then those comments are less offensive.
For starters its none of your business or anyone elses for that matter, as to whether im Gay, Straight or Bi. Should I appeal to one group or the other. Should I attempt to gain points, or have someones opinion of me now clouded by their hang ups, or can we say 'wokeness'
I maybe a joke, and thats all. If you found it off, then I apologize and that is the end of that.
Yes, it is @nickc, I agree
But when you mention threads that are about "loaning people tools and borrowing bikes", then TJ has contributed to those threads too and made generous offers of time and help.
Off the top of my head, he's offered to help me with my smoke alarms and I remember he played a big part in getting a car to another forum member.
All of us have our good and bad points, just nice to remember the good as well.
On the storm thread I made a comment and got absolutely piled on with some pretty offensive statements made about me “bellend, chip on shoulder” etc. The statement I made was not offensive nor was it an attack on anyone. There must have bee more than a dozen posters make personal attacks on me there and I did not start the personal attacks
Someone compared you to Neil Oliver and I replied that only one of them is an utter bellend (or words to that effect). I would like to make it *very* clear that person isn't you!
I wasn't asking @dyna-ti. As you say none of my business or anybody elses.
You just stated that there's nothing homophobic about you and I suggest that you might want to have a little think about that.
I hoped it was that Simon!
I think this thread shows a bit of what I was talking about. the exchange between dyna ti and the pilot quickly escalated.
So homophobic comments are just bants now?
And we should all put up with them so this forum is less grumpy and more funny?
Aye, right.
Someone compared you to Neil Oliver and I replied that only one of them is an utter bellend (or words to that effect). I would like to make it *very* clear that person isn’t you!
That's how I understood it.
But then I started to wonder if perhaps TJ had an even greater ability to look smug and tousel his long hair in the wind.
No, I dont think i will. If I offend, then ill apologize at the time to whomever felt offended, for all the difference that would make really.
Happier ?.
I'd be happier if you had a little think and that way perhaps you wouldn't offend in the first place.
I've been here since the days when "beer" "the prawn" and the various versions of fred /padded bra were happily winding everybody up.
I don't really see that it's changed too much. I do think that there is more to argue about these days though. Twenty years ago there was no brexit, no covid, and our politicians were not always right but weren't a bunch of self serving, vacuous liars. I guess that breeds a more combative feel which can spill over from the political threads to others.
One thing I do wish though is that some individuals would be a little more sensitive to the subject matter. Whilst people have strong views on Shimano vs SRAM, ultimately no-one is going to get hurt by the disagreement.
But when the discussion is about race, gender, sexuality and religion, people's entire identities are being trashed and that's not acceptable. As a Non Binary person I've been told that I'm "making it up to get attention", that "there is XX and XY, I'm a scientist and teacher so I'm right and your identity doesn't exist". When I recounted a very harrowing incident that negatively shaped my life for years, one big hitter very strongly insinuated I was making it up. These sort of things show a total lack of humanity and sensitivity and reflect very badly on those individuals. There are a few forum names now that trigger me even if they are commenting on unrelated threads.
I guess what I'm saying is that some people forget that the letters they see on the screen in front of them are written by a person, not a computer, and those people may already be on the limit of what they can tolerate on that day.
But having said that the amount of positively I've received is way higher than the negativity so I remain convinced that humans in general and forum members on this site are on the whole good people.
We may be grumpy, but we can still choose to be kind.
Oh, and Shimano is WAYYYY better than SRAM. Fact!!
😁
^^^^^^^
Great post!
But having said that the amount of positively I’ve received is way higher than the negativity so I remain convinced that humans in general and forum members on this site are on the whole good people.
This in spades - the support I have had thru my recent troubles has been invaluable
You got riled, i said sorry. End of story.
Did you "say sorry" or were you actually sorry?
Surely either you concede that your post was out of order and offer a sincere apology, or you believe that your post was fine and don't. And honestly, I'm not equipped to comment in this particular case as to whether your post was offensive or not.
Part of my job involves vulnerability management. If we find an issue, it goes to the relevant resolver team to fix. But the final step isn't "we've patched it," rather it's "lessons learned". Ie, why did this happen and how do we prevent it happening again?
It's easy to say sorry (which is kind of odd when so many people seem reluctant to do so). But if you are sorry then you need to back that up rather than attempt to shut down further discussion with "end of". There is a Grand Canyon between "I'm sorry, I didn't realise that might be offensive and I'll try to do better next time" and "I'm sorry you were offended". And the rest of that paragraph patronising and belittling the other poster rather suggests one over the other.
'Sorry' - a word which increasing numbers of people can't even spell, let alone understand how to use it properly.
IMO the main problem with this place is that people take it way too seriously. Outside of the obvious serious threads where people need help or support, I generally take the view that nothing said here matters a jot so feel free to say what you like. Being offended by something someone says on the internet is pretty silly as it doesn't reflect real life.
I never said I was offended. I simply said a poster had written a homophobic comment. It's not the first time he's referenced anal sex. I was hoping it might be the last.
If you really think this: "Being offended by something someone says on the internet is pretty silly as it doesn’t reflect real life." Then I suggest you take a look at what some of our MPs are subjected to. Still, only something says on the internet, innit? Doesn't matter a bit.
Did you “say sorry”
No. It was a very Johnson-esque non apology 🙂
One thing I've noticed is threads getting closed because of the relentless deliberate contrariness
No they haven't
No they haven’t
Five minute, or full half hour?
I'll start with the 5 mins and see how that goes .....
I never said I was offended.
The other problem is people being over sensitive and a little bit paranoid. That comment I made was a general one in response to the OP and not directed at you.
Looks like I was mistaken then.
It's just, I can't agree with you that it doesn't matter what you say on the internet.
Also, calling somebody "overly sensitive" and "a little bit paranoid", well, it's pretty gaslighty to be honest.
Is the full half hour still going spare? I don’t know what’s going on but would hate to miss a bargain.
The ultimate Internet ****iness thread 🙁
A thread hiding/block button would be good for this forum.
‘Sorry’ – a word which increasing numbers of people can’t even spell, let alone understand how to use it properly.
Well it is the hardest word.
If in any doubt, it's now kicking off on a thread about coffee bags.
Yeah!
I think it’s time the Mod team and STW HQ had a chat.
it wisnae me this time 😉
Well it is the hardest word.
Well played sir
@boriselbrus - likewise, since 2003, but showing as 2008, after the Great Hack, and FreddedBra, or whatever username he happened to be using at any given time, was always a bit of a Ban Hammer™ © ® magnet, but he did start some great photography threads about architecture, and it did seem to be a shame when he went, until I started following him on Fb, and without any admin control he was unbearable.
I agree that there’s so much more going on politically, environmentally, and socially that there are far more contentious opinions around, driving more heated and confrontational conversations.
I avoid sport and political threads as I know bugger-all about either, and whatever opinions I might have aren’t worth posting ’cos I’m not really very good at presenting an argument, and especially not very good at backing it up, or rather being able to express it in a coherent manner.
I must say, though, that there are a number of members here who’ve contacted me personally about the situation I’ve found myself in regarding the loss of my partner, for which I thank you from the bottom of my heart! I may not have responded, mainly because I’ve not got much time available and also I’ve been feeling pretty emotionally drained and fragile, although things are improving, this weekend it’s exactly eleven months since I lost her, and I’ve managed to cope pretty well, but thanks again to everyone, it’s what makes this place so compelling.
I avoid sport and political threads as I know bugger-all about either, and whatever opinions I might have aren’t worth posting ’cos I’m not really very good at presenting an argument, and especially not very good at backing it up, or rather being able to express it in a coherent manner.
Sounds like you'll fit right in on those threads if you wanted 🙂
I avoid sport and political threads as I know bugger-all about either, and whatever opinions I might have aren’t worth posting ’cos I’m not really very good at presenting an argument, and especially not very good at backing it up, or rather being able to express it in a coherent manner.
Sorry, but that's no excuse to not get involved. Just pick a side and keep shouting it ever louder at every opportunity.
I can’t agree with you that it doesn’t matter what you say on the internet.
Ok I should have said it doesn’t matter what people say on here, as it’s a fairly anonymous place where you can be different to how you are in real life. That’s less true on other social media. I’d be much more upset if someone I know on Facebook called me a name than on here. Honestly a lot of people here need to lighten up a bit.
Honestly a lot of people here need to lighten up a bit.
Looking at myself in the mirror good and hard here, I'd be inclined to agree.
I'm realising that some real life stresses have been seeping into my posts of late, rather insidiously.
That said, I can't spend more than a couple of minutes on Twitter etc without my heart starting to race. This place is still my safe room on the net.😁