[Closed] Is it just me.......

Is this finished? I was beginning to enjoy it:

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Just for the record tj, you were not the person I was talking about in my post. I seem to be alone in being the only person who has never had some sort of run-in with you as far as I remember.

You barsteward!  I'll get you for that.  Just you wait.

blimey.

I'd normally avoid self referential threads (self referential Fred also) but ah, some things really push my buttons. So when i see:

I actually have the fragile porcelain sensibilities of a character in a Jane Austin novel, Ernie. So when you leftie lot all get together around your metaphorical internet picket line brazier I’m often left sobbing into my silk handkerchief 😉

I think what a misrepresentation of some of the wit, charm, perceptiveness (sometimes blindness) and strength of some of the best women characters ever written. They are not sobbing into silk hankies. Unless of course Binners is seeing himself as more an oversensitive Darcy, we t-shirt and all? I guess it is a truth universally acknowledged... [Ah I'll fill in the blanks on edit. Finishes "must be in want of a steak bake"]

That's right. I came to this thread looking for a fight about english lit.

LOLz!

I have to admit that the nuances of Jane Austin are lost on me because I consider Pride and Prejudice to be the worst book I've ever had the misfortune to be forced to read. Its basically Hollyoaks set in the 19th century 😛

Anyway... I came on here to comment on TJ's human rights record, which is absolutely appalling! He's a monster!

[img] [/img]

Oh - that looks good on me!.  *ponders*

binners

How can you dislike Jane Austen when she described STW so well:

My idea of good company...is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.

I may have to reappraise it under the circumstances

Mrs Binners absolutely loves Jane Austin and we did have a (massive Maine Coon) cat called Mr Darcy, so named because he was a right handsome bugger!

I thought that the rule with forum spats was 'whoever has the last word loses.'

If you don't like them then leave them hanging. If after 2 or 3 exchanges you get the feeling someone is trying to wind you up then just stop responding. If they persist then you know that's what they're trying to do and it will be obvious to other forum users as well. It can't be passed off as banter when the traffic becomes one way.

an oversensitive Darcy, we t-shirt and all?

Did this give anyone else the impression of an overworked sweaty floor fitter?

In the schoolyard it was 'careful, he knows karate'. Now it's 'careful, he knows Photoshop'

How can you dislike Jane Austen when she described STW so well

TBH the stuff with zombies was ok’ish , the other works I found a bit pedestrian.

Instead of “is it just me” it looks like the thread title should have been “is it because of me”…..

Watching over the last couple of weeks its clearly not just because of me 🙂  I have reduced my posting a lot and kept away from contentious threads

The Ukraine thread got closed for descending into nasty bickering and I never even went near it

On the rugby thread I was trying to ignore someone who was making attacks on me based on a false understanding of what I said and despite trying to ignore it the attacks continued.  I have not been back to the thread since

On the storm thread I made a comment and got absolutely piled on with some pretty offensive statements made about me "bellend, chip on shoulder" etc.  The statement I made was not offensive nor was it an attack on anyone.  There must have bee more than a dozen posters make personal attacks on me there and I did not start the personal attacks

Its actually reached a point now where I am beginning to feel bullied!  Its certainly opened my eyes to the effects my posts have had on people

So I will ask again - what can we do to restore civility on here?  While its not nasty much of the time it does seem to degenerate into nastiness, rancor and angst pretty easily and the "pile on" seems to be swifter and more prevalent.

So once again - this is not about me in particular ( I really have taken on board the comments made about me higher up and am quite ashamed) and the thread was never meant to be so.  Its about what appears to me to be an increase in unpleasantness and how do we reduce this?

tj - the tone on some threads is, I think, a reflection of how people and society have changed.
Much less consideration and acceptance of others' views; increased intolerance; insistence on having the last word; resorting to insults having lost the argument.
But, hey, it's an online forum so everyone's an expert; anonymous keyboard warriors rule!

I would think that if a post was reported, it would at least get a reply from a mod or someone from STW HQ. Ime that does not happen.

TJ - I would suggest being more accepting that not all of the English folk on here were involved in the invasion of Scotland in 1385.
I’m not English but I get bored by the anti English sentiment resonating from a small number of posters. I very rarely bother opening certain threads as the same folk will be saying the same things.
I think your comment on the storm thread was indicative of this. Not that what you said was anti English, but the reaction from people appeared to be “here’s TJ complaining about the English again”. That was my take on it anyway.
The rugby thread is similar, there’s some knowledgeable folk on there, but they have to be right on subjective matters. There’s rarely any consideration that an opinion is just that, an opinion. Two people can have differing opinions, both can be right, both can be wrong. But it appears on here whomever goes on the most is “the winner”.
The Ukraine thread, very similar. There’s zero respect for another persons opinion, regardless of how incorrect someone may find another persons opinion. It’s a shame that thread went the way it did as there’s genuinely a lot of interesting content.

Hope this doesn’t appear like I’m having a dig. Just answering your question. I appreciate the vast majority of your contributions and had noticed you appeared to be posting less after the storm thread.

So to summarise…in my opinion we all need to understand our opinion isn’t always right. A differing opinion is a good thing and should be heard, we shouldn’t mock other peoples opinions and we must all stop being so nationalistic.

I just came here to swoon at TJ's El Presidente photo.

I think one of the telling points was actually on the DoY/VG thread. A poster, don't remember who said 'read the room' as if consensus was the only thing that mettered. Consensus does carry some credibility when it's as a measure of weight of evidence, but taken to the extreme consensus quickly can become grabbing pitchforks and joining the mob. And I think on the whole, there are too many that just grab the pitchforks and join in on here nowadays.

Sure, there are some contentious posts on contentious subjects, and a few too many examples of trolling and sealioning in recent months, but simply burning someone's house down to drive them from the village because they have a different opinion is too far.

I just came here to swoon at TJ’s El Presidente photo

And you’ve not even seen the photos with just the military cap and some strategically placed medals

binners- risk a ban; publish and be damned!

I’m not English but I get bored by the anti English sentiment resonating from a small number of posters. I very rarely bother opening certain threads as the same folk will be saying the same things.

I don't mind it. I'm British anyhow.

Born in a small village in southern England, to Scottish parents and grandparents, to Irish great grandparents, and I've spent time in Wales.

.

Ergo, I'm British. A radical mix from across the land.

I would think that if a post was reported, it would at least get a reply from a mod or someone from STW HQ. Ime that does not happen.

What are you expecting? We will look at the report and decide on the action.

I would think that if a post was reported, it would at least get a reply from a mod or someone from STW HQ. Ime that does not happen.

Yeah. A bit disappointed in that too. I think it sometimes reflects badly in those moderating (who I actually think do a sterling job). I've one Report outstanding that I'm now considering whether or not I should escalate to the site owners.

 Its about what appears to me to be an increase in unpleasantness and how do we reduce this?

I hate to say "it's all in your head", but I think it is. There has always been an opportunity for certain threads and subject matters to descend into unpleasantness and hostility. I don't think things have got any worse in the years I've been on this forum. As regards the Eunice thread I actually read your posts and mine and came to the conclusion that both could be viewed in the same unpleasant manner, even though I knew that mine were only "trying to be funny". This just proves that it can be all about interpretation and not intent.

Maybe scotroutes - maybe.

TJ – I would suggest being more accepting that not all of the English folk on here were involved in the invasion of Scotland in 1385.

I'm fairly sure TJ is, by birth, English. I don't think he has anything against English people, but he would like Scotland to be independent.

I’ve one Report outstanding that I’m now considering whether or not I should escalate to the site owners.

It’s not outstanding we looked at it and didn’t interrupt the same way as you did, there was no intent of malice.

I've tried a 'forum light' strategy just recently and my experience has improved significantly because of it.  I probably come on here just as often but post less and read more.  I'm spending more time on threads where people ask for, and receive advice or stuff like the 'what have you made recently thread'.  These show the better side of the place and the people who use it.

I had a quick look at the Ukraine thread as I am as interested (and concerned) as everyone else about it. But sadly it seems to have become a willy waving competition between a couple of protagonists who will die in a ditch before accepting there may be valid opinions on the matter which differ from their own.  There are a few threads like that which are just to and fro bickering and juvenile point scoring.  In the real world I am interested and engaged with politics and current affairs and will discuss with mates or even strangers over a beer, but it never ends well in here.  There is little discussion/concession  and too much having to 'win'.  There are a handful of forumites who seem to thrive on virtual fisticuffs and gravitate to those threads.  Not just here of course, it's t'nterweb innit.

Anyhoo, life is too short and seeking out threads with a more positive vibe comes recommended. Give it a try!

It’s not outstanding we looked at it and didn’t interrupt the same way as you did, there was no intent of malice.

Thanks for the feedback*. FWIW I think you are wrong and I will, therefore, escalate it. I don't think racism is acceptable on this site - regardless of who it is aimed at.

(* Question though - do you get so many reports that responding is a major overhead?)

Question though – do you get so many reports that responding is a major overhead?

Nope. It’s just we rarely feedback as there’s never really been a need.

Cool

and juvenile point scoring.

So who do you think scored the most ? 😀

😛

Ergo, I’m British. A radical mix from across the land.

We (as a nation) are mostly mongrels which makes the likes of Yaxley-Lennon even more ridiculous.

As regards the Eunice thread I actually read your posts and mine and came to the conclusion that both could be viewed in the same unpleasant manner, even though I knew that mine were only “trying to be funny”.

If you can give me examples of that I really would be very, very grateful. I've said before on here that I might be treating it as too "matey" in a way I really shouldn't. If there is something to be learned, then that would help me change my tone.

TIA

Are we talking about racism to southerners?

Just going for the juvenile points.

the thing is, when it’s the same “joke”, shoe-horned into every thread, it starts to sound more like racism than “humour”?

I think "racism" is the wrong word. Maybe comes across more like "look at us, look at us, those nasty English are picking on us again".

Maybe that's how it feels to some people up there, maybe with good reason, not for me to say from my position of supposed English privilege. The current political set up picks on plenty of English folk as well, though.

But not necessary on so many threads. It derails some good threads, and when there are genuine points and issues, they get lost in the general noise and not taken ad seriously as they deserve. Kind of like crying wolf.

I don’t think anyone is saying it’s racism. I don’t even think Nationalism is the correct term.
But look at the storm thread as an example. It’s a light hearted thread discussing the pretty severe weather across England and Wales and the local impact it is having. It is then, in my opinion, unnecessarily turned political, pointing out disparities in reporting between South East England and Scotland. It then descended for a page or two into arguing.

So while I don’t think it’s racist, it almost appears to be trolling or point scoring.

Its about what appears to me to be an increase in unpleasantness and how do we reduce this?

Maybe it's just an improvement in your own self-awareness? 😁

I think one of the telling points was actually on the DoY/VG thread. A poster, don’t remember who said ‘read the room’ as if consensus was the only thing that mettered

Yeah, that was directed at me. I read the room and saw a lot of people jerking their knees rather than engaging their brains.

I'm happy to admit that I'm wrong, but I'm damned if I'm going to be bullied into subservience.

(* Question though – do you get so many reports that responding is a major overhead?)

The problem is that a reply is often taken as an in-road to start an argument. Just look at what we're discussing right here. It's simply not worth the hassle.

If you're dissatisfied with a moderator decision or, well, anything on the site then you have a clear escalation path. Take it up with Mark.

On the storm thread I made a comment and got absolutely piled on with some pretty offensive statements made about me “bellend, chip on shoulder” etc.  The statement I made was not offensive nor was it an attack on anyone.  There must have bee more than a dozen posters make personal attacks on me there and I did not start the personal attacks

Nope. I didn't call you a bellend. I said the thread was derailed by bellendry. Which it was.

Fair enough - several bellend comments tho.

Is it just me…….

Honestly, the short answer is yes, yes it is. You're a person with strong opinions that you use to define who you are, and that makes defending them a priority. You're also attracted to politics and controversial subjects. I think you just need to admit/allow to yourself that it's not your job to convince people that your perspective is the "right" one.

A casual glance at the threads on here will show you loads of people having conversations that aren't "shouting matches" are offering advice, even loaning people tools and borrowing bikes.  If you don't know that those things are going on here, then it's a reflection of where your interests lie, rather than the content of the site.

I’ve just read back through that thread.

Hello chaps?  I am astonished that a throwaway remark caused so much angst.  Very amusing.  I wasn’t nasty to anyone.

Such a throwaway comment, you made the same point three times over several pages. And I can’t see the nasty responses you talk about either. Mocking maybe, but not nasty.

@nickc
That's totally unfair.
Whilst you make some valid points, TJ is one of the most helpful, kindest people on here.