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These ****ers are killing me. It's about the size of a normal blue bottle or perhaps a little bigger, black in colour, but very flat. They bite and are almost impossible to crush. Their bites come up bigger than a mosquito and they have a wide kind of leg pattern.
The most distinct thing about them is that you can smack them super hard and they survive...you need to almost grind them into a solid surface using an instrument to kill them.
Does anyone what the hell they are. I can't really get a photo of one, because every time i kill one i am required to pestle is to end it.
Could be a horsefly
(cue terrible jokes)
+1 horsefly
Sounds like a horsefly to me too.
Aha!
Youtube searching has got to the bottom of this. It seems they are stealth/flat flies coming from the pigeons roosting in my walls.
They are ****ing nasty nasty ****ers.