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The small bit of paper with irrelevant information instead every pack of paracetamol. No one reads it. ****t
No matter how often I open a pack of tablets, even to the point of thinking "I always do this, I'll do it the other way" and second-guessing myself, I invariably open the end of the box which has the paper wrapped over the tablets.
Pricks.
How could we forget https://www.saddlespur.com/ ?!
Autocorrect is a massive prick. I swear Apple, **** deal with it.
I’m sure you must be aware that Windows had autocorrect before Apple came along, and Android has autocorrect as well, and don’t forget, Google was developing Android before Apple introduced iOS.
iOS isn’t perfect, but it’s become good enough to predict complete words, even sometimes complete sentences and phrases, depending on the context, which it’s done several times in this sentence.
It’s often as good as I am, sometimes better, because it’s learned by the context of my writing.
Oh, and 👇🏻: some things are nothing but pricks! 😉
I’m sure you must be aware that Windows had autocorrect before Apple came along, and Android has autocorrect as well, and don’t forget, Google was developing Android before Apple introduced iOS.
iOS isn’t perfect, but it’s become good enough to predict complete words, even sometimes complete sentences and phrases, depending on the context, which it’s done several times in this sentence.
It’s often as good as I am, sometimes better, because it’s learned by the context of my writing.
I’m aware but currently use and Apple device and it autocorrects swear words every time. The prick
For those who don't like seatbelt noises, there's a plug under the passenger seat to unplug, you'll have a warning light on the dash but no beep beep when you throw your bag on the seat (Dacia/Renault, other cars may go into limp mode or require a towtruck and reboot if you unplug the seat - no idea).
The Bluetooth in my Mini that struggles with the only job it has to do. Connect the car with two different iPhones. Mini in their wisdom removed the built in SatNav (I get why, I'm not a luddite) and instead relies on the driver using car-play, then installs a Bluetooth system so pedantic and finicky that it sometimes requires you to remove the phone it was happily connecting with just moments ago, and re-install the same phone which it will now recognise. If both phones are in the car simultaneously, it has a minor epi-scopie trying to figure out which one to connect to.
Idiot.
Back to washing machines. Delay start functions that work back from the finish time. Programme runs for 4 hours and 15 minutes, it's 11:15pm and I want this dry and ready to go by 6:30am. Why am I having to do complex maths whilst my brain wants to sleep? A simple don't start until after 2 hours 45 minutes have elapsed timer would be better.
Our machine works in increments of 30 minutes on the delay start, so it's either going to finish early or late and that will be the wash that has something in tit that prevents the clothes drying completely. When it dies I will build a trebuchet and launch into low earth orbit.
Cutlery drainers.
No matter how often I open a pack of tablets, even to the point of thinking “I always do this, I’ll do it the other way” and second-guessing myself, I invariably open the end of the box which has the paper wrapped over the tablets.
Pricks.
Every. ****ing. Time.
Our printer isn't a prick, and I'm still surprised every time it just works, like I've undergone 30 years of conditioning to expect it to just sit there and blink it's green LED defiantly.
I presume it's because we've gone for a subscription one and HP have realized that people either:
a) will pay a ransom for a working printer each month
b) won't keep paying them if it doesn't print.
I don't want to attribute it to maleficence, but it's hard not to.
Sixty. I counted them. Needy little attention-seeking prick.
We bought a fancy Samsung heat pump tumble dryer.
It's finishing chime is referred to in our house as the National Anthem of Laundrylandia and everyone stands for it.
I'm not even convinced it's an actual tune, it doesn't sound like 4/4 time at least, I think it's just a random jingle of beeps.
For those who don’t like seatbelt noises, there’s a plug under the passenger seat to unplug
Don't do this. That's likely the sensor that tells the car that there is someone in the seat and on a modern enough car how heavy they are - the airbags etc can modulate to give the best possible protection. If it thinks that there is no one in the seat then they might fail to go off completely in a crash for example.
I believe part of the regulations is that it must be possible to disable seatbelt warning noises without touching wires - to prevent people from messing with the wires for reasons like this (and other unintended consequences).
Google it for your car model - there will be some hidden combination of buttons to press etc to turn it off.
Delay start functions that work back from the finish time. Programme runs for 4 hours and 15 minutes, it’s 11:15pm and I want this dry and ready to go by 6:30am. Why am I having to do complex maths whilst my brain wants to sleep? A simple don’t start until after 2 hours 45 minutes have elapsed timer would be better.
Bucking the trend I know, but in praise of my washing machine - if you set "delay start" via the front panel then it delays the start - but as it's a clever thing the cycle varies in length. However... if you click the button to enable the app control then you can use your phone to set the exact - the machine does a quick test spin to "weigh" the clothes and then starts at whatever time it needs to so that it finishes on schedule. And gives a phone notification when it's done. Which means that the ridiculously long "i'm finished" jingle can be swapped to the "simple beep" option.
Having just read the above back I'm off to join the Dull Mens Club group on Facebook.
USB plugs
When do they ever go in the right way up first time.
It’s finishing chime is referred to in our house as the National Anthem of Laundrylandia
Ours (Samsung) plays, or rather murders, some Shubert (a part of piano concerto) A bit of me dies every time it ends inexplicably half way through a bar. Just a couple of more notes Samsung...why?
USB plugs
When do they ever go in the right way up first time.
logo on the upper side of the plug. works in every horizontal slot
USB plugs
When do they ever go in the right way up first time.
No matter how often I open a pack of tablets, even to the point of thinking “I always do this, I’ll do it the other way” and second-guessing myself, I invariably open the end of the box which has the paper wrapped over the tablets.
Pricks.
I'm not alone 😭
My wife thinks I'm mad but I swear they do this deliberately. Anyone trying to make quantum computing just needs to get hold of Big Pharma's secrets, they solved this secretly years ago for the sole purpose of making Schrödinger's Paper to insert into the tablet boxes.
Google it for your car model – there will be some hidden combination of buttons to press etc to turn it off.
You could just put the seatbelt across the empty seat and connect it?
Every modern car.
Have you tried older cars?
With points? Carburetors? "brakes"? Rust? Oil leaks? Seats without headrests? Leaks around all the glass? No central locking? No rear seatbelts? Unpowered steering? Demisters capable of blowing mildly heated air only at one small spot on the passenger side?
They were pricks.
As it’s pancake day I’d like to nominate digital kitchen scales. I understand why they have an automatic power off feature but why the **** do they all seem to have this set so that it always turns them off if you stop for more than a few seconds when trying to weigh something out? Pricks.
crash detection system in cars
I had some big merc 4x4 one hire - GLE AMG something or other - for a job to get up stalkers tracks in the highlands with tools and materials . (a pick up would have been better but the hire co only had a top spec chelsea tractor available - it was a mess when I took it back, thankfully wasn't on my account)
Anyway it was November and we were getting battered by high winds up at the tops. One gust on an exposed ridge hit the car so hard it was convinced I'd crashed
A message came up on the dash telling me it had detected a crash and asking me if it should call a tow truck.
A tow truck? How about an ambulance you selfish prick.
I’d like to nominate digital kitchen scales.
Seconded. I'm not the fastest cook in the world, I have to remember to keep nudging it to stop it shutting down in between leeks.
Have you tried older cars?
My first car was a 1977 Fiesta (and isn't a security question). It was stolen one night. I was frankly impressed that they'd managed to start the bastarding thing. It required a 'just so' balance of throttle, manual choke and swearing.
I dated a girl who swore that her Feista had erogenous zones that need a tickle before it started..
I dated a girl who swore that her Feista had erogenous zones that need a tickle before it started..
are you sure it wasn’t a Volvo?
Inspired by this thread I decided to google the instructions to my Ikea microwave, to see if I could persuade it to only beep once on completion... but no. The designer, who is clearly a **** of the highest order, decided that the damn thing should repeat the beep not just once again, but once a minute for 10 minutes! And obviously there's no way to change this 🤬
Duvet covers. They are pricks to go on and pricks to come off.
Microsoft Authenticator. <opens teams or any O365 app to be greeted by> "YOU NEED A NEW CODE!" <opens authenticator, select the account to generate the code >"YOU NEED A NEW CODE!" you snivelling pile of junk, why are you trying to 2fa a request within the 2fa app, you've basically started an infinite loop.
British plugs are comedy. Superbly engineered for their job and backed by amazing post-war propaganda to hide the fact they needed to be overengineered as Britain was broke, couldn't afford to rewire the place with individual circuits and so entrusted the fused plug to protect our heroic population. Meanwhile the whole* of continental Europe got RCDs, properly shielded schuco plugs & sockets and largely future proof electrics.
*ok the Swiss and Italians went their own way but came around eventually.
Nonsensical washing machine settings.
Yep, my cheap beko machine has 20 odd setting and a normal wash at 30° takes 90mins or so, gawd knows what all the other settings do as I’ve never used them, needless to say I only use the super short wash at 30° which takes 28mins.
Sunvisors which are clearly designed for a non existent rear view mirror. Absolutely shite. Either leave the Mirror or fit longer visors you tight bastards.
The sheer amount of small electrical gadgets (toothbrushes, exfoliators), that could be recharged magnetically…
Sunvisors which are clearly designed for a non existent rear view mirror. Absolutely shite. Either leave the Mirror or fit longer visors you tight bastards.
I've got a Connect too. What also annoys me is the unemployed lump on that sensor cover that the mirror could attach to. How hard/expensive would it have been to design a flat cover foe MOST vans that have a bulkhead or no rear windows?
greatbeardedone
... exfoliators),
Username doesn't check out.
^^^^guitar pedals, dustbusters, and Bluetooth headphones too.^^^^
🎵 These are a few of my favourite things 🎵
(Aside, trying to remember the actual lyrics to that song, my brain just came up with "... and handles on kittens," that surely can't be right.)
seems unlikely
although useful in some circumstances
Mittens on kittens? Which frankly seems daft.
You've clearly not met my kittens.
You’ve clearly not met my kittens.
They've not tried to take a dump in my garden then?
its whiskers on kittens is it not?
#
That makes more sense, although it'd have to be a long favourite things list.