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Inanimate object which are pricks?
Tories? All politicians tbh.
Good call on the jugs, we've got one, it's useless, well, unless the idea is to tip most of the contents onto the table.
'Easy open' bacon packets, Ha! they even have a little pull tab to lure you in. Do they ever work? do they ****, they're ****ing useless, the ****ing ****s. ****!
Can I add Microsoft authenticator to the list ...
An absolutely utter bag of sour pills
Coffee tables. Positioned perfectly for maximum shin damage, collect random crap, never actually any clear space on them for your coffee.
ive made my own- from bits of old kitchen worktop & legs from etsy and is height perfect for a beer next to the sofa & the key bit is that ive put an integrated bottle opener underneath the corner of both, on reflection more of a beer table than a coffee table
Oral-B iO toothbrush.
It actually seems to do a good job of tooth brushing. My hygienist attested to that. However it’s a prick. It’s forever dying of surprise flat battery mid-brush, but its wilfully misleading charge state is only flashed up for half a second just as any sane person would be spitting used toothpaste. I hate it for being such a dickhead while also serving its actual purpose quite well.
‘Easy open’ bacon packets, Ha! they even have a little pull tab to lure you in.
"Peel here." When the glue is stronger than the film. Prick.
we rebuilt the house a while back and got a pack of white goods in the bargain. We thought it would make sense to use the new items, what a mistake...
Gas hob that now moans after cooking even if everything is switched off. It also has a timer that goes nuts if you drop any moisture on it.
Extractor fan that makes more noise than any I have owned, even on its lowest setting you have to shout at each other
Dishwasher that nothing can stand up in the top tray so we have broken so many glasses I have lost count
Washing machine (not from this package but at the same time, and thankfully went bang a year ago) that will not spin if you put more than two towels in or less than a full load. Play a 15 minute piece of ginggly music at the end of a messed up cycle. If you need to stop it to add that dropped sock I think it knows you are waiting so makes you wait for 15 minutes to open the door, and if you tug on the door it makes you wait longer
We have a mechanical door bell. Think Addams Family.
Pull the big handle and a chord, that goes through the exterior wall and round a series of pulleys, moves a spiral spring with a bell on it.
1. It isn't loud enough for anyone in the house to actually hear.
2. When the string snaps you have to dismantle it all and re-thread it whilst working against the tension of the spring. This involves tying a knot one handed whilst up a ladder with a screw driver clamped between your teeth.
I hate our doorbell.
If there is one lesson that everybody can take away from this it is never EVER by a house off middle aged Goths.
You know you can turn that off? There’s three settings: naggy cow, ‘boing’ and silent.
But I don't want some woman booing me just because I won't do a u-turn.
Last thing I beat to death was one of my twin boys travel cot's. £80 one you could put up but not down, it would take hours. So one day I kicked the **** out of it. The other £30 from Asda, looked the same but worked.
"peel here" ham packets in Switzerland you wont be surprised to hear that work
That thing about the crash detection system in cars has reminded me. Our Skoda has some sort of system that integrates the parking sensors and longer-range adaptive cruise control, and can alert us if it thinks we're going to hit something while we're driving.
Every now and then, when driving at around 20mph, this will trigger at the front of the car - and then, a moment later at the back of the car. When there's clearly nothing there.
The first couple of times it did it, it properly shook me. It's now happened enough times that my son will remark "have we just driven through another ghost?"
Last thing I beat to death was one of my twin boys travel cot’s.
never been so relieved when I reached the end of a sentence 🙂
It did start poorly, then got considerably worse 😂
My Transit van has a warning beep for engine-killing problems like low oil, brake fluid etc. And when it's cold. So you can be driving along the motorway and it will suddenly startle you to let you know it's cold outside. My grandson loves the way it makes me swear on our way to footie matches on Saturday mornings and has taken to joining in my diatribes.
I hardly dare mention hose pipes they put me in such a mood. In fact I'm not going to describe how angry they make me because it will spoil the rest of my day.
Autocorrect which you don't realise is on. In typing this post it has decided that when I type startle I meant to type start, and swear becomes sweat. **** right off, I know what I mean!
Every now and then, when driving at around 20mph, this will trigger at the front of the car – and then, a moment later at the back of the car. When there’s clearly nothing there.
Leaves and debris blowing up off the road will sometimes trigger them. As will clouds of spray, the sort where an oncoming lorry blasts the entire car with a wall of spray.
Everyone going on about "self-driving cars will soon be here, we'll all just be able to call up a robot car on an app..."
No you won't, the stupid thing will have got itself stuck in some kind of self-parking / collision alert loop or got so confused over trying to read conflicting speed limit signs that it'll just stop.
Somewhere there's a whole other thread about insane / dangerous / stupid driving aids in modern cars.
See through plastic blister packs containing potentially useful, yet inaccessible, scissors.
I hardly dare mention hose pipes they put me in such a mood. In fact I’m not going to describe how angry they make me because it will spoil the rest of my day.
Hozelock fittings? Hateful, brittle, leaky yellow bastards that never last a year without failing.
I hate our doorbell.
Sounds a right PITA, but it begs the question, why don't you remove it and fit a push button one?
The internet. Everything I try to do ends in a emotionally churned sweary wormhole. I took days to recover from an incident where I needed to log in to an account and couldn't get past the login stage. I have just tried to turn ads off on this site by taking the advice above to go to my profile and turn them off in preferences. Got my profile ok... can't find preferences! I realise this is standard old person and the internet stuff but it's becoming increasingly the case that I am excluded from day to day activities like parking, shopping, banking etc because I am too much of an old dog to learn new tricks
Has anyone (perhaps @cougar?) shared this thread back with the original one on Mumsnet? I'm sure they'd appreciate what they started several years ago; we've diversified well beyond the dishwashers, washing machines and assorted vacuum cleaners which were the bane of many lives there.
My adaptive cruise control on my car is great except when it would be most useful, like driving in rain, sleet or snow. Then it'll just turn itself off declaring that it can't cope with the current weather (or something along those lines), pretty alarming when your on slight bend on a motorway doing 70mph. First world problem I know but is still anoying.
Chappie dog food.
MrsSC has just bought a tin to stop the dog starving to death before she does the delayed weekly shop.
Set firmly into the tin except it then randomly explodes everywhere as you try and fork it out. FFS,
One of the door handles in my house is a little bit like this:
It has spikes on the end of the handle to make it super uncomfy to hold, and give it additional clothes snagging abilities.
I keep meaning to buy new handles, but it's one of those things that I always forget about, that is until next time I have to touch it, and swear at it.
Every modern car. I don't need to be told I don't have my seat belt on. I don't need assistance to keep me in my lane which is bloody dangerous when local roads are built the way they are. I don't need a sodding screen to turn the heater on. I don't need tinted glass to look like a drug dealer. I don't need tyres a few cm deep because I actually prefer a comfortable ride. I don't even need a car that does 71mph. I don't need a bumper that crumples when you brush some thing.
I bloody well don't need a modern car but the wife thinks they look good.
Facebook Messenger. I now a have a message on my phone telling me I am lucky enough to now be able to set up a 6 digit security key. Who the hell cares? it is Messenger not the hot line to the Kremlin.
Can I opt out? Nope!
UK plugs are over engineered for a reason.
The majority of European countries had RCDs way before they were common here. We had those awful wired fuse boxes. Terrible things. So they didn't need the extra protection that the 3 pin plug gives you.
UK plugs are over engineered for a reason.
I'd argue that they are adequately engineered, and other plugs are under engineered.
These pair of pricks
I’d argue that they are adequately engineered, and other plugs are under engineered.
I'd agree with you there.. I much prefer the standard 3 pin UK plugs to the crappy 2 pin Spanish ones, purely from an ergonomic point of view... especially when in extension blocks.. for example, they are either super difficult to insert properly, or don't feel like they are held in securely and waggle about.
The pull tab on foil lid under the cap of the milk bottles from the supermarkets.
They just seem to be stuck to the underside of the cap. So you open the new milk and the pull tab is gone. Thus you need long finger nails or patience or some such thing to open the milk without wearing it.
Morrisons and Sainsbury's are the worst.
UK plugs are one of the few remaining good things about the UK. Other country’s plugs just seem shit in comparison. Like they were designed by idiots. Wobbly and cheap looking.
In the prick category I’d like to nominate the fridge with a small freezer compartment built in. The ones that slowly ice over until you can get nothing in there. They should make a ****ing massive one and the arctic sea ice would be back in full effect within a fortnight.
Also microwaves, all of them. Stupidly loud beeping noises, ridiculously complex controls and just generally shit at heating things up as advertised.
Threads. Every time I come up with a contribution someone gets there first... Skoda update nonsense^^ 👍 and tops inside milk container lids^^ 👍 (Aldi in my case)
Matryoshka dolls. Full of themselves. Pricks
Ford Transit custom wet belt engines. I want one but the pricks keep blowing up apparently.
On our work version of PowerPoint, the spell checker decides which one of about 4 random European languages it will use in every text box, usually a different one in each item on a slide.
It doesn't make any difference what language is set as default, or even if you uninstall all languages bar English.
When it's really on one, it'll choose different languages in the same sentence, the cynical ****.
Keys. Today I locked the garage and dropped the garage keys along with the car key on the kitchen table - that was what I remembered. Later I needed the garage key to get the drill out, the car key was there but no garage keys. Half and hour of looking yielded nothing, doubt set in, where have the keys hidden themselves? More hunting then I remembered I'd shut the garage door wearing my ski pants which have nearly horizontal pockets that things fall out of, and the first thing I'd done on entering the house was go to the bog. Lift the drain cover, get the hose pipe and clear out the trap they'd have ended up in - nothing. Madame joined in the hunt and an hour and a half after the hunt started found them in her bag which was hanging on a chair near to the kitchen table. The keys had somehow lept from the kitchen table into her bag, pricks!
😆
That thing about the crash detection system in cars has reminded me. Our Skoda has some sort of system that integrates the parking sensors and longer-range adaptive cruise control, and can alert us if it thinks we’re going to hit something while we’re driving.
Every now and then, when driving at around 20mph, this will trigger at the front of the car – and then, a moment later at the back of the car. When there’s clearly nothing there.
The first couple of times it did it, it properly shook me. It’s now happened enough times that my son will remark “have we just driven through another ghost?”
It was either the Skoda (Octavia) that I had or the Civic, driving along one day using ACC, all of a sudden it screamed and stood the car on its nose like I'd just thrown a boat anchor out the back, it'd shat itself over a ****ing crisp packet in the road.
Self-driving cars, right.
Autocorrect which you don’t realise is on. In typing this post it has decided that when I type startle I meant to type start, and swear becomes sweat. **** right off, I know what I mean!
Dear autocarrot: it's never "duck." It's rarely "aunt."
See through plastic blister packs containing potentially useful, yet inaccessible, scissors.
This one time, at band camp in Lakeland I think, I saw a pair of blister pack scissors... in a blister pack. Great idea but to get into them you'd need... it's turtles all the way down, isn't it.
Every modern car. I don’t need to be told I don’t have my seat belt on.
The Hyundai I had, I nicknamed it Crosby because every time you did anything it went "bing!" Speck of dust on the passenger seat, bing!
Bing!
Bing!
Bing!
[size=20]Bing![/size]
[size=25]Bing![/size]
[size=30]Bing![/size]
[size=35]Bing![/size]
[size=40]Bing![/size]
Duck off.
Oh, and,
I understand how difficult it is to program a progress bar. (I think there's a Tom Scott video on that too.) But for gods' sake, "100%" - so why are you still going, then?
Autocorrect is a massive prick. I swear Apple, ****ing deal with it.
The small bit of paper with irrelevant information instead every pack of paracetamol. No one reads it. ****t
It's a nesesary evil... Otherwise you'll get people overdosing on paracetamol and suing because they weren't warned.
See also 'warning: contains eggs' warnings in the small print on... Cartons of eggs.