[Closed] I think I'm about to be diagnosed with cancer, and I'm fairly scared.

Great news, thanks for taking the time to update.

Best wishes from all at Green Towers. 🙂

Fantastic news.

Now to concentrate on the recovery.

Good luck to you both 😀

So far, so good, Mark and Meg. So glad to hear things went well on Friday.

Keep up the good work!

C

How are you keeping?

We are thinking of you Pete.

Heal Quick

Fab news mrspetesgaff.
Speedingly recoverings from me.

Hello all.

Just thought I'd update you on the state of play. Before I do though, I need to say thanks. Sometimes it's difficult to comprehend the scale of support that people are giving you. It can be taken for granted, and that is surely a crime against those that put that effort to support you. I have, on numerous occasions in the last few days, been so enveloped with my own fears and grief that I've ignored those that have offered said support, and for this I'm apologise. I will do my best not to let it happen again...

A few points worth considering for hospitals.

1) I'm not good with hospitals. If I break something, I usually let it heal wonky or wait till I pass out before going to hospitals.

2) I'm not good with doctors either. This manifests itself in a number of ways. I don't like the slack 'fashion' vibe going on, where its cool to turn up in jeans and a t-shirt, looking 'young/dynamic/cool/insert-your-own-tag-here etc'. I dont want to call my doctor
'Alexa', 'Chad', 'Amee' 'Mickey' (!) or any other first name term, and likewise I'd like to be called Mr Fradgley or Sir. I feel it establishes the right formal-but-polite relationship.

3) I don't want the junior doctors following my consultant around to answer their mobile when they recieve a text. Especially not when you're telling me that the operation was a success although you didn't manage to get all of the tumour. I feel it undermines the importantance of the information your giving me. And it makes me want to take of your Warehouse kitten-esq pumps and hit you around the face with them until you meekly given your phone up to me and I crush it with the steaming pile of 'what-the-holy-christ-type-of-meat-was-that' based dinner I've been served. Repeatedly, day after day.

4)Because you've put Jerk Chicken on your menu (sic), you should try to conform to your discription. If something has a spleen, seven ventricles, an eye and lips, I'd hazard a guess and say it probably wasn't a chicken.

5) Windows. There to see in and out of. Help pass the day. Especially with Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament directly outside. Washing them in and out will play a major role in my rehabilitation, I reckon, and will also help get the worry of MRSA or Novovirus out of my mind. The 4ft blood spatter that arcs up the window will not.

Funny bits over.

I've been scared, inspired, had night terrors like you simply wouldn't believe, tired, irritable, grouchy, belligerent, difficult, happy, teary, weepy, desperate, in agony, etc. You name it, I reckon I've felt it in the last week. My surgeon was a mastersmith, the critical care nurses unbelieveable, my other half more worthy than any half-arsed description I can put on here.

My chest, my beautiful strong chest that I loved is no more. It is now a ploughed field of trauma and hurt, and I don't even have the strength to lift the bag I took in to St Thomas'. I wept like a baby last night when I couldn't cross the road at Tunbridge Wells Station quickly enough and got beeped; Meg had gone to collect the car, and I'd told her I'd be fine. The truth of the matter is, I'm not. I'm broken. I'm not sure how I'll get it back, or whether I have the strength to. I look at how magnificent my wonderful fiance has been and continues to be, and I worry about the effect on her mental health too...

They managed to remove 90% of the tumour from my heart, which is good. The next step after the biopsy is to decide on the quickest most appropriate course of action; chemo, radio, both probably. The surgeon said he'd only seen it twice in 25 years of heart ops, so I don't know how it'll play out; sometimes I'm ready to take it by the horns, and other times I'm so daunted I cannot function.

I'm pretty tired at the moment. I'll post later.

Mark,although you feel down at the minute,things will improve,the docs will now get a tissue diagnosis of what type of tumour it is,which will let them tailor the treatment more accurately.If it takes anger to get you through this,then stay angry.I think I speak for everybody on here when I say good luck and get well soon,you are an inspiration to those of us with lesser ills.You have the best support in the world with Meg.
Ian

Wow.! What can one say other than "Keep ya pecker up son.!"

Hope the docs can mend you and get you back on a bike. Good luck.

Thanks for the update Mark and continued good vibes to you and Meg as you ride this crazy rollercoaster. On the plus side you saw the dawn today and you will continue to do so as long as you keep fighting the fight. And chicks dig scars 😀

Mark,

Get some rest, you need it. Dont worry about us here, just look after yourself and the lovely Meg.

Use our inner strength like you never have before - its now you need it.

I've been watching this thread since the beginning. I don't think I've said much, bcause I'm useless with stuf like this, but that last post of yours Mark, it brought a tear to my eye and I don't mind admitting it. Amazing courage, really.

Ffffing give 'em hell mate!! That's the spirit!!

Keep your head up mate, we are all with you*.

*As much as we can on an internet forum!

Sat in work reading this and if they want to sack me then f*ck them. Mark I dont know what to say that post has floored me, so humbling have a huge hug and know that all who read what you and Meg have posted have the utmost love and respect for you.

You are not broken just a little battered but on the mend. Keep fighting dude

My father, old Luddite, says he doesn't like the internet, that he thinks it is "depersonalizing". This thread has to be Exhibit A for the prosecution. I have never met Mark, and don't expect to, but I am drawn close to him and his amazing fight.

Mate,

The operation sounds like it’s been very successful. I’m pleased.

What’s important now is (with Megs support) for you both to take full advantage of the rest period and attack the next phase with the same vigour, momentum and balls that you have thus far.

Good.

All the best

Hey Mark

Sounds like you've got 90% less of it's @rse to kick now. That just means you need to aim carefully, but can kick it 10 x harder.

Go get it

For every post on this thread there's probably 10 people like me who've been reading it but not felt they had anything much to contribute and thinking;

"bloody hell, what bad luck, I hope he pulls through'

but don't really know how to write soemthign expressign support that doesn't sound like a cliche.

Anyway;

Good luck Pete, you've proven that a) the love of a good woman is the most important thing for any man and b) good humour and a determined spirit will get you through things that you never thought you could endure.

Pete, your chest may be ploughed, but you have the heart of a lion and the eloquence of a poet - keep fighting, and just as importantly, keep writing.

your posts are great mark, you'll find it helps so much downloading the rubbish that's in your head to be shared by the stw massive. my blogs did this for me and have been a great support mechanism for my mental welfare.

you will get through, you've got this far and you have a way to go but you will get on with it. don't think about your wonderful chest as was, think about how cool the scars look. i have a great deal of scar tissue sat under my lung which i'm waiting to see if it need radio therapy. it's just the new me, to me it's not scar tissue it's just a challenge to make my lung work as well as it did before. all these challenges are the new climbs, the new 'first downs' and the new singletrack at warp speed. the new bits of life that you're unsure of.

it sounds like with the support of meg you will share the experience. not sure if you're allowed baths with your scar but try a couple of tea tree oil drops in a bath (check with you doc) it'll help with the healing.

Incredible! Your motivation and courage is an inspiration.

Sometimes it will falter- and thats ok. Like falling off your bike, you dont mean to and it hurts a bit. But after you dust your self down you always decide to get back on and keep riding because the next trail is always more awesome!

never mind the apologies fella - no body has offered you good vibes and support and expected anything back, they did it because they genuinely want you to kick this things arse. Read your first points again (the funnys)as they seem to epitomise your spirit in tackling this.

It is perfectly fine to have a couple of 'off' days every now and again just as long as they are in the moinority - if it starts swinging the other way GET HELP and put any vestiges of male pride to one side.

You sound like you still have the fighting spirit and as nickhart said, once the initial recovey is out of the way you can then challenge yourself to come back stronger than you were before (think the bionic man!)

Keep positive and put your energies into fighting!!

Pete

Like others here I feel privileged to be reading your posts. I just hope that somehow all that inspiration you have generated helps you and Meg in the coming months and years.
All the best(but that sounds so inadequate).

You will look back at this one day having just got up the hill that is on all our trails. The one we love to hate because it needs to be ridden and smile I made it through the other side. It will change how you look at day to day life not hum drum but a part of life that needs to be there just so we a can enjoy the good bits more. You are strong just at the moment you are in pain you will get there again sooner than you think. keep a positive it's hard but you will get there. see you on the trails soon enjoying life with a knowing smile. get well soon our prayers are with you. Rest and dont try to run before you can walk.

Mark, You would not believe how many folk are willing you on. Keep going, keep fighting, get angry, give Meg a cuddle and post when you feel like it.

Thanks for the update Mark, it's good to hear from you. Meg's been doing a great job of keeping us up to speed while you've been locked up.
Glad you escaped from the hospital so quickly - I am sure that's because you were so fit before all this kicked off and is a sign that you'll be back on form pretty quickly.
Your hospital observations seem to be in the same vein as everyone I know who has spent any amount of time in one.
However, I am more concerned that you know what 'kitten-esque pumps' are...
T

Great to hear you're up and about Mark! Things will only get better!

So then Mark, how's about that ride we're all going on?

😀

3) it makes me want to take of your Warehouse kitten-esq pumps and hit you around the face with them until you meekly given your phone up to me and I crush it with the steaming pile of 'what-the-holy-christ-type-of-meat-was-that' based dinner I've been served. Repeatedly, day after day.

Good to see that you still have a sense of humour, i don't think i would have given what you have gone through recently.

Yes you feel broken at the moment but that [u][b]will[/b][/u] heel over time so just concentrate on beating the remaining 10% of the tumour and as said above at least the doc's can tell what type of treatment is needed to best get rid of whats left of it.

Look after yourself and get lots of rest.

All the best to you and Meg

BigSi

Fantastic to hear they've already got 90% of it out, and gone.

As ThePurist says, only 10% left, and that's gonna struggle to put up a fight against the wall of strength you and Meg are showing.

If you have the strength to read, try thumbing through these, as you should find them a great help:

[url= http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-About-Bike-Journey/dp/0425179613 ]It's not about the Bike[/url]

[url= http://www.amazon.com/Live-Strong-Inspirational-Survivors-Diagnosis/dp/0767921380 ]Live Strong: Inspirational Stories from Cancer Survivors[/url]

Manly "you're doing well" bear-hug to you, and a gentle "you're doing a great job" to Meg.

Mark,

Like alot of people on here, i keep popping back to see how your doing fighting this disease and all i can say is you are amazing. I have no idea how you are feeling at this time but through it all you have shown a great sense of humour and a will to fight this thing.

Get some rest now and post back when your not so sore!! We'll all still be here willing you on and giving you as much support and help as we can (or as much as can be offered through a PC!!)

I think i can speak for all of us when i say Meg, we think your amazing too. How you put up with him.......

Best of luck and best wishes to you and Meg

The Skips

Mark,

Don't worry about your chest being ruined. A couple of months and you'll be able to start working on a brand new set of pecs that will be even better than before! You'll also have a cool scar for Meg to play with. Remember, chicks dig scars! (Sorry Meg)

Really glad the op went well and good luck on the recovery. _[b]DO NOT[/b]_ beat yourself up about things. You are beating this and you [b]WILL[/b] get over it.

Chin up and well done.

Just read the update. I feel small... Very.

❗

Mark

You'll heal, it just takes time and you need to take it, don't be to proud to tell those who are helping you that it hurts. You need to get yourself well as quick as possible and you sound like me in that you want to up and at it straigh away, you can't, so dont try. Chemo is nasty stuff, but its not going to be as bad as you think it will be (honest). But the better you get yourself the easier it will be, so rest (properly)

Thanks for you updates, not sure when I was in a similiar place I could have writen it down, hat off to you (again), but I wish I had looking at all the support your getting.

Now stop surfing the net and get some rest. 🙂

Not that this is hugely comparable but my father-in-law had a quad bypass, so pretty similar chest opening and rib splitting and he's recovered really well from it, he was out playing golf within 6 weeks of the op, it didn't make him a better player mind, but he used it as a goal to aid his recovery. So the pain will receed as we all hope the tumor will too.

Good luck dude!

I forgot to add, imagine how sweet that first piece of singletrack is going to feel post recovery 🙂

Mark & Meg,

Your posts and your strength are incredible, keep on writing and fighting and we'll keep on reading and channeling healing thoughts and vibes your way.

Wow. I've seen this thread on the forum summary before but avoided it as I thought it would be 'bit of a downer'...I was wrong. I've been transfixed and moved in a 'big gulps/holding back the tears' way by your honest yet wry postings, Mark. Respect to you and the missus to be (not long now to the big day!).

Get well soon.

Mark, your honesty and willingness to share is an inspiration.

You will get through this. And you and Meg have a lot more living to do yet!

Keep going:)

SM

i think ive got some dust in my eye

All the best Mark, cheers for keeping the thread updated.

I'd love to make some super-witty remark that would make you laugh but I can't..............I'm overwhelmed by your bravery (both of you) and willingness to tackle this thing head on so all I can do is offer support and love. KEEP FIGHTING. ❗

yup, dust in the eye, thats it.
keep on trucking fella.

I'm broken. I'm not sure how I'll get it back, or whether I have the strength to.

And I tend to be right about this kind of thing.

I'm broken. I'm not sure how I'll get it back, or whether I have the strength to.

It will heal- the surgeon has had to open up your chest which is a fairly brutal process. They do heal well and with little or no deficit. The way they do the access involves cutting thru the sternum - so effectivly you have broken bones to heal - however the good part is doing it that way does not involve cutting muscles/ tendons or ligaments - and bones heal better than they do.

It will take time but it will repair and repair well. A couple of weeks it will feel better - a couple of months it will be fine

I assume you will have had large doses of anaesthetic and the operation took a while - that is a lot of chemicals in your body that take a good few days to get rid of. that will make you feel really weak and feeble but should only last a few days

You might be feeling crushed Mark, but you've just done ten rounds with one mean bastard. It's not often that STW is united about anything ([i]anything![/i]), but they are on this: very best wishes to you and Meg. Keep on fighting.

all the best to you and Meg, don't know what else to say other than expressing support

Mark - you just had major surgery be kind to yourself - am amazed you could even cross the road! Excepting the cancer that surgery will take a big toll but you will get over that and get stronger - it's just that you are fighting on so many fronts at the moment.
It will get better and then when you are stronger you can continue the battle. Good so far and thanks for updating us . x

I couldn't cross the road at Tunbridge Wells Station quickly enough and got beeped; Meg had gone to collect the car, and I'd told her I'd be fine. The truth of the matter is, I'm not. I'm broken

WTF.....you're out and about ? 😯

I amazed that you can cross the street at all, never mind about sprinting across it - you've just had major open heart surgery 10 days ago ffs !

You might be a bit "broken", but that will heal - just don't expect to take only a few days !
Good luck stay strong and positive, and be easy on yourself.

And thanks for the update btw 8)

I've followed this thread with tears and amazement (and not a little fright at how rapidly these things develop) ..... talked about you with my bike mates at Relentless .... and am so relieved to see you emerge scarred, but definitely not broken. Even if we're not all posting our support, you must know that there is a whole community of silent 'watchers' who are willing you both towards that small glimmer of light.

Take care of each other.

Sounds like you are already well on the road to recovery - it seems only a few days ago that you were under the knife. To be up, out and walking about in such a short space of time is amazing.

Best wishes to you and Meg for your on-going recovery!

What ernie said!!

How the hell you can cross the street in the first place is beyond me - well done Mark. Lance Armstrong couldn't ride a bike after his op and you cross a street!

And next time someone beeps you when crossing the road hit them and tell them I said it was O.K. 😆

And don't worry about the STW massive, since you last posted everyone's fallen out over Stephen Gately, Hora is still posting amusing tosh, I bought a new light and everyone's still thinking about you man, 😉

Best wishes to both of you
TS

[img] [/img]

The first part of your post made me lol. And yes, some dust was floating about when I read the second part. I also can't believe that a few days after open heart surgery you're trying to run across the road! Mental. Meg, you need to get to the shed and lock his bikes up with something he can't break ASAP, because nothing is going to hold this bloke back!

I finished my first aid training today, so now I'm fully qualified. Before I've made a few half hearted efforts to be a first responder, but now I'm really going to push for it. Cheers for the help with that Mark.

If in doubt, just ask yourself what would Chuck Norris do?

Keep roundhouse kicking this thing in the nadgers, you're doing better than you think.

Chuck Norris?

You mention Chuck Norris and I in the same thread?

Suddenly there is a reason to live. To fight. To love.

Seems like it's been a pretty dusty day all over the country today then. 🙂

You feeling a bit more comfortable now Mark?

I've been keeping tabs on your posts and I am in awe of both of you, your courage and strenght is inspirational. The best of luck to you and your wonderful partner.

Survived the op' and 90% of the tumour is gone
The rest will be finished off by the therapy
You're already on the road mate
Your body is tougher then you realise
In time you will be strong again.

Hang on in there.

Major Heart Surgery last Friday, and you are walking across a road yesterday ?

You are one hell of a guy.
Respect to your Meg.

Get well soon.

My chest, my beautiful strong chest that I loved is no more.

Mark, I felt the same after OHS. I thought I would never feel strong or healthy or whole again ... but you will. Whenever I catch sight of my scar or feel some discomfort in my chest, it just reminds me of how strong I was to get through. I hope this helps. I know you have so much more than a broken chest to contend with and I am willing you on.

Mark - your abilty to MTFU is beyond reproach.....

So, please take a minute to MTF Down.... don't let pride get in the way - put your Chuck Norris element into the mental fight but take it easy, accept the odd helping hand and all that - accepting help now by no means means you'll need that helping hand for ever - your bod has a bit of work to do at the mo, try and let it 😀

Healing vibes and happy thoughts to you and Megan..... Mr&MrsMM

headfirst - Member
Wow. I've seen this thread on the forum summary before but avoided it as I thought it would be 'bit of a downer'...I was wrong. I've been transfixed and moved in a 'big gulps/holding back the tears' way by your honest yet wry postings, Mark. Respect to you and the missus to be (not long now to the big day!).

Get well soon.

Mark - I'm with Headfirst on this one, didn't really look in earlier as I was having a family cancer trauma and getting it out in the open really helps [url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/what-is-it-with-me ]LINK[/url]

Good luck to you and yours and all the best.

Also many thanks to STWers for you fantastic support

Hello Mark and Meg I have been following this post from the start and have found your strength inspiring, just wanted to say Good Luck and dont push yourself to hard, take one step at a time.

Mark,
Get Meg to get some Petit Filou Yoghurts, as a victim of TV advertising I now know for an absolute fact they make your bones grow strong. The french girl in the TV ad tells me often enough .
Seriously tho, get well, heal fast, heal strong, beat the mofo in the face with some bombers, and get through this then we can all go for a decent ride , and get proper drunk afto.

And keep posting!

Keep strong. Keep fighting. Remember "this too shall pass".

Look forward to the 31st and to your future with Meg.

I look forward to meeting you both at your STW stag do ride next year.

Mark

You will heal, each day will see you a little bit stronger. I will never forget the first day I looked at my scar. I thought I was going to pass out. Now when I look at it I draw strength from it as it reminds me where I have come from and what I had to over come to get here. Take each day as it comes and with it will come a little more strength. Set targets and push to acheive them. Today you crossed the street. Tomorrow you will cross it a little faster and by the end of the week you will be walking to the end. The week after you will go further and at a point in the not very distant future you will be back on the bike and ripping up the trails.

I know you will win this battle - fight the bugger every step of the way and you will win. We are all here rooting for you. Kick it, punch it, bite it.

Thinking of you and Meg all the time.

Just come across this thread and read them all from the first post,I think your an absolute inspiration to have the strength to carry on posting and share your & Megs experience with us all. I wish you a speedy recovery and hope You have a wonderful wedding day which is something you both must be looking forward to. I'm still fuming about the bloody trainee Dr's on their mobile during the your consultation, I would have thrown my bedpan at him.

All the best!

I can only add my best wishes and my admiration for the way you are handling all this.
Incredulous that you can walk that soon after major surgery, let alone cross a road, fantastic IMHO.

Really hope to meet you on the trails when you're ready, I feel sure you will be and sooner than you think.

Not much to add really just keep fighting and as always all the best to both you and Meg from the Gibbys.

Mark- I believe that everybody is capable of stupendous things. You have shown this.

I too am a teacher. I try to boost my pupil's self-confidence in every way I can. You are an example that I would love to use- when the going gets tough- the tough get going. And YOU are one tough bloke, of that I'm sure.

I think Chuck Norris would bow to you Mark, seriously keep up the fight mate, I know my words are easy to write but keep trying harder than ever.

Over the past few weeks reading this thread you sound like the strongest man ever, I wish all us folks could help you more than just words.

So as always keep up the fight, your doing grand 🙂

Alex

I banged my knee yesterday. It's all stiff now and hurts when I cross the road. All considered, I reckon it's (probably) ok if you're finding walking tough!

I would add 'Chin Up' and similar comments, but you don't seem to need any help on that front. Amazing!

All the best,

Tom

Well, Mr Fradgley, you've made be bloody well cry and that wasn't on my to-do list today!! 8)

Can't believe you're up and about already!

Oh, and have you considered taking up writing to pass the hours of your recovery, cos you're damned good at it!
All the best Sir!!!
😀

Was thinking exactly the same FoxyChick.
Mark you should at least keep some sort of blog/journal/diary. Full of all your observations and quips.

Wipes dirt out of eye.

Mark,

You are one very strong willed, focused individual mate, don't loose the focus or the will, and along with all the other well wishers I am 100% confident you'll beat this.

All the best matey!

Andy & the Mrs

Thanks for all the positive comments guys; very helpful in the current situation, although I'm not sure they're justified.

The last two days have been about R + R, which I'm sure is easy for some folk. I think it sucks, but am trying to remain positive and philisophical to it's true benefits. I think my head travels in a different orbit to that of my body, and this misalignment is causing a headache for me and those around.

Meg is pretty run down with the weight of the last two weeks, and we made a visit to the GP yesterday to get ask a few questions. We wanted to find out how to store sperm in the event of chemo/radio, whether we needed a flu jab, how to boost Megs immune system, etc. This GP was quite helpful, answering plenty of the difficult Q's and spending a good deal of time with us. I cynincally believe this is because the previous GP ballsed up my initial diagnosis so badly and they think we might sue! Meg doesn't agree.....

I'm going stir crazy not doing anything. Don't get me wrong; I'm not a bloody rambler, who's desperate to get out when I hear a badger fart, but sitting in a house all day watching TV will not assist me in my quest to be fit for treatment. So today, we went out for a wander, walked the dog, popped into T.Wells, then mooched over to my Aunts place for a cup of tea, and back to ours to meet up with Meg's step-mum and half-brother.

In hindsight, it was probably the wrong thing to do. Meg is now knackered, and I'm very quickly starting to realise the limits of my CV fitness. STW 1 - MF 0. I will now start to listen....! 😯

A Funny thing that Meg told me about. My consultant has just started playing Womens rugby, and dropped it into coversation when we fisrt met up. I am county coach for womens rugby, and offered to help her develop her skills. She doesn't have any balls to practice kicking with though, and being a PE teacher I have gazillions, so I offered toget a net bag with about ten in for her to hoof around. Apparently, whilst under the final throws of anasthesia before the op, I informed her staff (whilst lying prone with my nutsack on display) that they needed to tell her that "I had a bag of balls for her..."

I now have an unusually wonky scar near my nethers. I hope she didn't take offence.

🙂

🙂
PS: don't overdo it.

STW 1 - MF 0. I will now start to listen.

very valuable lesson that, I know what you mean about being in with TV on I'm looking for work so spend a good portion of time inside even having it on not looking at it is draining. I mean since when did alan tichmarsh get his own show, he's such a smug git. Did you get married yet or is that still to come?

😆 😆 😆