I picked up a new car at the weekend and, because I’m a bloke, have been blindly pressing buttons without reading the manual. Today I made the mistake of pressing the VOICE button to activate my phone, then me and the car had an argument.
I was seething when I got to work then I felt a bit foolish.
Me : [presses VOICE button]
Car : Select device.
Me : Phone.
Car : Which phone?
Me : Andrew.
Car : Andrew selected. Select function.
Me : Dial name.
Car : Which phone?
Me : Andrew.
Car : Andrew selected. Select function.
Me : Dial name.
Car : Which phone?
Me : Andrew.
Car : Andrew selected. Select function.
Me : Dial name.
Car : Which phone?
Me : Andrew.
Car : Andrew selected. Select function.
Me : Dial name.
Car : Which phone?
Me : Andrew. Andrew is selected. You’ve selected it.
Car : Which phone?
Me : This ####ing phone here. Andrew. You know it, you have used it before! You used it yesterday! It bloody worked then and now you don’t recognise it all of a sudden?
Car : Which phone?
Me : Oh #### off!
Car : Which phone?
Me : I said #### off.
Car : Which phone?
Me : [presses VOICE button again]
It was like being driving to work with HAL9000. I was waiting for it to lock the doors then evacuate all of the air out.
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[i][b]I’m not going to let you do that Andrew.[/i][/b]
lucky it wasn't Demon seed.
My vacuum cleaner and I regularly fall out. For some reason though I keep thinking it will respond to violence. It never does.
And then I have a quick check around that nobody saw me do it.
Harry_the_Spider loses patience with his car and decides it's time to leave.
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I'm so glad it's not just me that talks to machines !! I regularly have conversations with the washing machine, it's a great listener
Do you have both a home and mobile number saved under Andrew?
Harry_the_Spider loses patience with his car and [b][u]the car[/b][/u] decides it's time to leave.
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Do you have both a home and mobile number saved under Andrew?
Andrew is the phone. I know this. The car knows this. When I say Andrew the word Andrew appears on the display.
[i]Andrew is the phone.[/i]
who are you then?
Nope nothing wrong with that, a couple of years ago I had a row with a plastic tray, I called it a f*****g idiot.
I think I have anger issues. Mind you, it did allow a bowl of cereal to fall on the floor, staining the carpet, so perhaps it is an idiot tray after all. And I was only in my pants, so to add insult to injury it made me look foolish too, I hate that tray
use your hand to select the number?
a couple of years ago I had a row with a plastic tray, I called it a f*****g idiot.
😆
Meanwhile in my Ford Focus...
[i]Dial name.[/i]
[code]Name please?[/code]
[i]Home[/i]
[code]Dial "Home". Confirm Yes or No.[/code]
[i]Yes[/i]
[code]Dialling...[/code]
Maybe you need to RTFM?
I hear skoda's have excellent voice activated hands free systems. Surprised nobody suggested one of them to you really.
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I read this as cat to start with, arguing with your cat is as pointless as arguing with your car, at least your car wont crap in the flower beds
I read this as cat to start with
Are modern cats blue tooth enabled?
The last one I had a good look at was my gran's back in 1972 (Snowy, a big fat hairy white ball of fur and teeth) so I guess that they have been upgraded and redesigned a few times since then.
I'm so glad it's not just me that talks to machines !! I regularly have conversations with the washing machine, it's a great listener
Do you press yourself against it during these conversations ?
I'll get my coat ... ban coming probably
Why do us humans reflect our humanity onto objects and animals? The mistake is to give them names. Last month I fell out with:
Bod the Iron -he got too hot under the collar and burnt a shirt
Henrietta the Hoover - her blow wasnt strong enough 😉
Pappa Smurf the car -he developed a rattle I cant find
Did I type that our loud?
the other day i had a slanging match with Siri and ended up calling him a c*nt,
quite loudly in the office........
I fall out with things all the time.
I regularly call my phone an arse####
My Hoover is an awkward bas####
I call my cat an arseho## kn#bend bast### all the time, she isn't, she is well behaved, cute, funny and affectionate... But when she is bad.. She is real bad!
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Is your car called Christine btw?
Many moons ago I had a client who was "At the forefront of voice activiation technology" according to their strapline...things don't seem to have moved too much in 12 years.
I freaked my mum out recently by showing her the voice actived search features on a smartphone.
Anyone reminded of this?
]"Andrew" later that night...
Dial name.
Name please?
Home
Dial "Home". Confirm Yes or No.
Yes
Dialling...Maybe you need to RTFM?
I have a ford too. Quite often mine is:
Dial name.
Name please?
Home
No phone connected
*&&*&*^&*^*&^*&^*&^&*^&*^!!!^
Yes it is! It's bloody connected, it says so.
It's the one thing I don't like about my Mondeo. And I've tried it with a few different phones. It's definitely the car.
Fun with Siri
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My son loves having rows with Siri.
I have a ford too. Quite often mine is:Dial name.
Name please?
Home
No phone connected
*&&*&*^&*^*&^*&^*&^&*^&*^!!!^Yes it is! It's bloody connected, it says so.
It's the one thing I don't like about my Mondeo. And I've tried it with a few different phones. It's definitely the car.
I was having trouble with a stroppy S Max.
Don't worry, it'll be driving itself soon 🙂