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And the advise (sic) would appear to be that you butt out of her life and let her get on with it herself.
Thanks for the constructive advise. Happy New Year to you too.
Ahwiles, just perhaps your freind has no sexual intrest in men, it is now legal.
and not everyone wants to commit to a relationship.
Thanks for the constructive advise. Happy New Year to you too.
Your welcome.
Lady Gresley , have you forgot the large estate you used to own,
project - MemberAhwiles, just perhaps your freind has no sexual intrest in men, it is now legal.
and not everyone wants to commit to a relationship.
i'm sorry, you've completely lost me...
?
I simply cannot believe she would prefer to be single and my wife agrees.
If I was the person in question and I saw that, you and your wife would be getting a full punch square on the nose. Arrogant, condescending, patronising pillock(s).
'm more than happy to let the lady lead.
With you there pal
ahwiles, she just may be a lesbian, and happy with a lady, lesbians dont usually have any sexual intrest in mne but enjoy their comapny.
Im sure youre not that thick.
As a single guy I ask the same..no the opposite...the mirror question.
Answer. Just go look. See EVERY kind of meeting or activity with others as a possible way to meet someone nice. Open your mind up...don't formulate a mindset of 'pulling' activities and 'non-pulling' activities, all activities have possibilities.
When a possibility comes along, explore it. Perhaps she is in someway closing herself off to potential suitors. if she is then she must change.
Finally, get out more and make more possibilities. Do more hobbies or things that mean she meets new people, widens her circle of friends. It's quite possible that she has lots of lovely friends but that her circle of friends has been unchanged for a few years....so no new possibilities for her. Encourage her to try some new stuff. If she is as fun and lovely as you describe then she should enjoy meeting some new people, making new friends and doing new stuff whether a potential suitor appears or not.
Now....if only it worked for me 😕
oh and Single, (late) 30s, successful I guess, london....and still looking
ahwiles, she just may be a lesbian, and happy with a lady, lesbians dont usually have any sexual intrest in mne but enjoy their comapny.Im sure youre not that thick.
oh, i'm very thick, but all i said was something about 'group rides being slow by their nature - noobies don't need to worry about holding people up'
I'm sorry if i offended anyone...
My New Years resolution is to find myself a good woman!
I'm a thoroughly nice chap, live on the Hampshire/Surrey/Berkshire border, 36, never married, good job and love biking
Moreover, i wouldn't mind going slowly if she wanted to come cycling!! 😀
As usual the STW masses decide that rather than actually answering a question, it's better to tell the person that the question is wrong 🙄
I met my other half online (e-Harmony) and know a fair few other people who met their partners the same way.
It's quite amazing how many people say "oh we met online too" once they hear someone else say it.
It's not full of stalkers and weirdos, and seems that if you pick the right site then it can really work.
Perhaps the difficulty in finding a handsome, smart, well-dressed man, is that all those men already have boyfriends.
ask1974 - Member
Blimey guys how many times do I have to say it. All I'm asking is a fair question. How exactly is asking about dating in the modern age patronising? No wonder life is so bloody complicated these days, you can't ask a simple question without everyone analysing your motives.
Blimey, no wonder life is so complicated when people can't distinguish between a general warning and comment on their specific situation.
Ask1974, although I can understand that you and your wife probably are just trying to be helpful, you might want to have a think about your comment:
"I simply cannot believe she would prefer to be single and my wife agrees"
Personally I would rather be single than be with just 'anyone'. Yes, meeting someone who I click with would be great, but I also enjoy my life as it is now, and it would take a lot (ie very much the 'right' person), for me to give that up. It doesn't mean I'm high maintenance or picky, just that I'm not prepared to settle for just being with someone due to some misguided idea that that is better than being single.
As for your more specific question, how you meet that 'right' person is far more complicated. There's lots of dating websites now, although people react very differently to them - some people see them as a practical and open way to meet someone who appears similar to them, other people view them with a degree of 'no way' (I fall into that bracket!). There are many clubs etc, but personally I join them because they do activities that I'm interested in rather than to meet single guys, and I wouldn't want to mess up my friendships within those groups. There's work connections, or friends of friends as well.
For me, I'm happy to leave it to chance. I'm lucky to have a fun life with loads of great friends. If I meet someone on my path through life and it works out, then great. If not, I'm still going to have a good, rewarding, and enjoyable life. Could I suggest that maybe you consider leaving things to a similar approach?
Is the crystal in her palm flashing yet? If not I'd say leave her to it OP.
You say she is outgoing and friendly then eventually she'll get a bite.
Dating sites are all well and good if your a bigamist, dogger or casual murderer but the tryed and tested route of meeting a friend of a friend on a night out is still the 'best' way...
Bunnyhop - MemberThere are many group rides where women are in the minority. The chaps I ride with are funny, friendly and a decent bunch, there's always at least one single among them.
There's also Hora.
Dating sites are all well and good if your a bigamist, dogger or casual murderer but the tryed and tested route of meeting a friend of a friend on a night out is still the 'best' way...
What a pile of shite. Apart from the reference to Logan's Run.
Oh - and it's tried - not tryed.
still the 'best' way...
Do you 'use' your fingers when talking?
OK, OK I give in!
Sue, that comment has been taken a little out of context and I shudder slightly how it reads myself. A typical problem one has phrasing thoughts in words. The original thread was a simple question looking for constructive input and, as often happens, has become a little distorted - my own comments seem to have assisted in this. Will be a little more cautious in the future.
significant number of laydies, who when you ask them what they're looking for in a man, reel off a list of essential 'must have' characteristics that your average member of a european royal family would find it hard to fulfil
Damn those ladies with their impossible demands for men with chins!
ask1974 - fair enough, I suspect we've all had our written / Internet comments misinterpreted before! And it's nice to see you and your wife caring about her so much.
I suspect (if she's anything like me and my girl friends) she'll have discussed the 'how to / whether to meet a guy' question with her single friends, and between them they'll probably have quite a few suggestions themselves! I think this is one area of her life which you'll have to let her work out herself.
from what ive seen, some women are very nice people and happy enough to be on their own, also, some women (and men) become Monsters when faced with compromising their wants for a partners.
I take my son to climbing lessons and there are lots of guys there.
Maybe she could borrow a child and do the same, if she doesn't want to do the activity itself? 😆
If you want ideas for activities to suggest then yes, climbing is not bad for meeting people...both men and women climbers tend to be fairly honed and athletic too. I'm constantly being told to try dancing too, and hear that lots of people go to dance classes primarily to meet others.
Do many folk on here go out of their way by trying out other sports with the main aim of hopefully meeting someone?
The "climbing or dancing" supposedly being good for meeting folk makes me cringe. Same with going on a group bike ride. The thought of someone or a few folk turning up with other ideas other than riding a flippin bike.. doesnt appeal to me.
it doesn't appeal to me either but it doesn't make me cringe. It's not 'going to do XXX in order to pull' behaviour, its simply 'going to do XXX to meet some new people' behaviour. If you aren't meeting new people, you won't find a partner (if that is what you want or not). Think of it as expanding your circle of friends and giving yourself possibilities, while doing something that is fun too.
Its very easy to find yourself happy in your life but with a set and unchanging circle of friends, particularly once in your 30s or beyond. By then you may be settled in a good job, settled in a home, have lots of friends that you've known for ages but perhaps going 'out' a bit less...lots of friends will be married or settled, kids perhaps.. unless you do something that gets you meeting new people then you won't find a partner. So it's just about trying something different to normal to meet some new people and give yourself possibilities.
As I said though, personally I find it tough to do something that I have little interest in 'just' to meet people. which is why I've not been to a dance class. I probably would find the evening enjoyable and social and fun, but personally I'd feel like I was forcing it and wouldn't feel that comfortable, but others are okay doing it.
Perhaps the difficulty in finding a handsome, smart, well-dressed man, is that all those men already have boyfriends.
PMSL 
Start collecting frogs for her?
Maybe we should have a STW singles thread? 😉
Lady Gresley - Member
Maybe we should have a STW singles thread?
That could be interesting 😉
It's all very well saying go to a pub I'd imagine that a lot of people (me included) aren't brave enough to go to the pub alone, and then start talking to people they've never met, particularly when those people are chosen purely on the basis of appearance.
Sport/hobbies is probably a good one, as you're likely to have the similar interests (assuming you don't take up a hobby just for the meeting people bit!), although in my limited experience all the "good" people tend to be taken!
Maybe I need a brother-in-law to set me up 😛
Personally I'd leave her to it but as for where you can pick blokes up...
She should hang round places that do lots of stuff that she's interested in.
So if she likes mountain biking, then a mountain biking club would be a great idea.
If she likes reading, library. And so on.
In my experience, the worst places to go are the pub or a night club. You pick up people who like drinking or having casual sex with strangers there. (And while I'm not knocking either pursuit, they may not be attributes to hold dear when assessing personality traits)
oh god no... do you not remember the STW singles swinley ride thread? that was..well...PMSL funny in places but pretty horrid in other places.
As becky says, many people aren't happy to just go to a pub or club on their own and strike up a conversation with a stranger. Taking up a hobby gives the reason to talk/meet and gets past that, and generally there is some sort of shared interest too.
To the OP, I don't think your presumptive or condescending, you are clearly motivated by the best interests of your sister-in-law and I'm sure you know what she might like better than the STW hive mind.
Ignoring the stuff since the op, in many ways it sounds like how my sister was a while back. She decided that sport was a good way to meet more people without any pressure so started doing indoor climbing. Fast forward a few years and she recently married one of those climbers 🙂
Sport's great for extending your social circle whether simply for friendship or more.
I'll also recommend rowing as a very sociable sport with a much better male/female mix than cycling.
IME you never meet someone (mr/s right) while looking.
The best way is through friends and relatives, who'll sort of know what suits the single person. I think 45% of relationships start at work.
although in my limited experience all the "good" people tend to be taken!
A very common misconception.
OP I had the same with two great female mates of mine. Thought they'd never meet a non-lying, wierd, idiot. Infact I posted on here about it! Now both married with kids.
My sis in law likes an older married (poor) man who is old enough to be her Dad and who sweet talks her. Its her life as her youthful years tick away with a fella who will never leave.
My god what a bizarre thing to post.
My god what a bizarre thing to post.
That's got to be a self-prophetic post if I ever saw one.
Is she a lesbian? I can't believe no ones mentioned this... If so.... could you send her round to mine so she can meet my missus. Giggidy
Actually JackTheDog more women are getting higher levels of education than men now.
"Jayne Dallas, a senior studying advertising who was seated across the table, grumbled that the population of male undergraduates was even smaller when you looked at it as a dating pool. “Out of that 40 percent, there are maybe 20 percent that we would consider, and out of those 20, 10 have girlfriends, so all the girls are fighting over that other 10 percent,” she said." - http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/07/fashion/07campus.html?pagewanted=all
😀
Cue Bender reference
Bunnyhop
"IME you never meet someone (mr/s right) while looking."
Absolutely true, but I have never been able to work out how that works or why. IME all the time you are looking you tend to be treated with a big "avoid" sticker, almost the day that you give up you suddenly meet someone. Well it happened for me.
OP - you do come across as a bit patronising - leave her to her life.
Well, after a long period of always being the single one in her group of friends, my girlfriend signed up to a dating site and within 15 minutes of publishing her profile, got a message from a dashing young chap with great prospects. That was 2 years ago and it was the best tenner either of us have ever spent.
OP, you're not being patronising, condescending etc but just be very very careful!
What do you call an Orange 5 owner then and where in the “class” war stakes does he reside??
I know of two close friends who have used eHarmony to find partners. Both took lots of time out being single beforehand and both decided at a similar time to find someone. Whilst dating sites may scare the peanuts out of your hand, they do actually work, eH found partners for both friends and both have been very happy for 18mths and 2.5yrs respectively.
Trouble is you are gonna have to get your S-in-L to apply herself, to this end you may actually find out that she’s rather happy being single.. And to that end it’s a whoop!!
In her own time, in her own time son.
I wish I was single outgoing, popular and fun.