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Here's your chance fellas - the Bond auditions have started

 IHN
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[#13535535]

The name's N. IHN.

 


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 10:37 am
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Sssshplendid.


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 10:48 am
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Barstewards - they told me I'd already got the gig - now they've opened auditions!!!  🤬 🤬 🤬


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 11:25 am
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I'm going to practice silently dispatching henchmen by giving them a firm but polite tap on the shoulder with the side of my hand (I've bought a copy of Gray's Anatomy for Students but haven't reached chapter on 'off-switches (henchmen)' yet)

https://makeagif.com/i/AwOzA5

It looks fairly  similar to the way my grandad used to fix a TV so it should come naturally


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 11:27 am
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Posted by: maccruiskeen

(I've bought a copy of Gray's Anatomy for Students but haven't reached chapter on 'off-switches (henchmen)' yet)

Have you got the book on running through a storm of automatic gunfire and escaping with a minor scratch to a non-essential part of the anatomy?

I had a look in the library but word has obviously got out and some other Bond contender has borrowed it. 


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 11:34 am
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Stop dicking about, give it to Cavill and crack on with it.


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 11:53 am
 IHN
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Posted by: Onzadog

Stop dicking about, give it to Cavell and crack on with it.

Nah, he's too Roger Moore, and that's not a good thing.


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 11:56 am
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Alan Carr for the win. 


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 12:06 pm
boriselbrus, Rubber_Buccaneer, thelawman and 1 people reacted
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Posted by: IHN

The name's N. IHN.

 

...or in my case: The name's Bod, Dad Bod.

 


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 12:09 pm
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No point. I heard on good authority that it’s already been decided that it will be an Asian woman.


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 12:27 pm
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I wonder if they are going to go for "gritty realism" Bond (think Bourne-ish) or more "pretty boy/stylish" Bond this time around. Chalamet would fit the latter bill, but I can't think of a decent young-ish actor that would be a decent gritty/realist Bond.

I am, obviously, too old to be taken seriously for the role. If only they had opened this up ten years ago I'd have let them call me.


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 12:34 pm
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Daniel Kaluuya 


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 12:38 pm
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Posted by: Onzadog

Stop dicking about, give it to Cavill and crack on with it.

He's already done a sort of Bond with The Man From U.N.C.L.E and that was a flop. The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare was very much Bond-esque as well (even featured "Ian Fleming" who later uses the mission as a basis for Bond).


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 12:50 pm
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Noel Edmunds obvs - Mr Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

 

He'll already done a self tape - although seems to be pitching for both the roles on Bond and Q in the same audition

 

https://youtube.com/shorts/wlO0TVRu_PY?si=rIJeWOBT2L751NfE


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 12:55 pm
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*slicks eyebrow*

Well hello there Missh Moneypenny.

Do I get to keep the Aston?

 

(I have a nephew who is getting into acting and all sorts of roles, I did message him this morning and he did ask his agent but he is too young at 18 - they are looking for 30ish apparently)

 


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 12:58 pm
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Cavill is way too old. They need to go young so they can get a good run of films out of an actor. I think we'll see someone much less well known than people expect.

I am Mr Wokey-dokey, but it has to be a white male. Anything else puts you down the road of "James Bond is just a code name that's passed on from agent to agent", which is rightly absolutely hated by Bond nerds *raises hand*.


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 1:38 pm
 IHN
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Posted by: willard

I wonder if they are going to go for "gritty realism" Bond (think Bourne-ish) or more "pretty boy/stylish" Bond this time around.

I'd rather the former, but mostly I want them to stop taking it so f___g seriously and quit the backstory, "who's the man inside" bollocks. They're dumb films about goodie vs baddie, just keep it that way.


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 1:42 pm
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I'll agree that Cavill is older than ideal for the role but he's certainly not "way too old". I thought he was pretty good in ungentlemanly warfare.

I'm one of those that believes that Bind must be a certain age to have the background of the character.


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 1:56 pm
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Posted by: timmys

I am Mr Wokey-dokey, but it has to be a white male. Anything else puts you down the road of "James Bond is just a code name that's passed on from agent to agent", which is rightly absolutely hated by Bond nerds *raises hand*.

"Felix Leiter" managed to change age and skin colour multiple times!


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 2:11 pm
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Posted by: crazy-legs

"Felix Leiter" managed to change age and skin colour multiple times!

Totally true! That's a deal I'm willing to make - change Felix/Q/M/Moneypenny as much as you like, scatter the 007 moniker around whoever, but leave Bond as the character with the backstory written by Fleming (and expanded by Charlie Higson and others).


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 2:30 pm
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Surely the whole point is to just to be a bit shit?

Loke they are entertaining but they have always been a bit shit.

Also the worst bond by far is connery. 


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 2:43 pm
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Posted by: timmys

I am Mr Wokey-dokey, but it has to be a white male. Anything else puts you down the road of "James Bond is just a code name that's passed on from agent to agent"

You understand that they killed him in the last movie, right? We're way beyond sticking to any internal universe set up by Fleming. 


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 2:54 pm
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Posted by: nickc

You understand that they killed him in the last movie, right? We're way beyond sticking to any internal universe set up by Fleming. 

Yeah, I can't defend it logically, other than Bond has always been the same person (at least in my head), and that's the one thing I'd like to preserve.


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 3:21 pm
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Posted by: nickc

You understand that they killed him in the last movie, right?

Or did they? Has anyone seen the body?

Perhaps his watch had a Super Strong Microfine Bomb safety Shield hidden under the bezel that Q forgot to mention on screen?


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 3:36 pm
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Posted by: joshvegas

Also the worst bond by far is connery. 

 

But that means we all take the pissh out of him regularly.

IMO they need to leave 'dead Bond' in last film and create a new Bond. There. I have said it.

 


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 4:18 pm
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IMO they need to leave 'dead Bond' in last film and create a new Bond. There. I have said it.

 

Or set them in the past when Bond is still alive.  New Bond stories set in 1960s or even the 1980s with some Cold War paranoia could be good


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 4:40 pm
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Fingers crossed it's a welshman this time.

 

Dai Another Day would be a beautiful remake


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 5:26 pm
welshfarmer reacted
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IMO they need to leave 'dead Bond' in last film and create a new Bond. There. I have said it.

 

Or set them in the past when Bond is still alive.  New Bond stories set in 1960s or even the 1980s with some Cold War paranoia could be good

Set them in the 40s and 50s and give them titles like 'Gay men can't whistle'

I mean.... they could just stop making Bond movies. 25 (or 27) movies is perhaps plenty? Especially given Flemming only wrote 12 books. To be frank it seemed like the makers would happily stop - it seems its only because they had been commercially inactive for so long that they were at risk of losing trademarks that they've been jolted back into production (or at least in to seeming like they are in production) 

They're auditioning now, 5 years after Craig's last film release - but thats at least 7 years, maybe even 10, after he handed his notice in as Craig only agreed to make another film on the basis that Bond would die at the end, so its been clear for even longer than that they would have to cast someone new to continue the franchise...... but they didn't.

60 years of making movies about books that were written 70 years ago. Why does anyone see a need to keep doing it?


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 5:38 pm
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Money 


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 6:03 pm
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Posted by: gordimhor

Money

Penny


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 8:39 pm
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Fingers crossed it's a welshman this time.

 

Dai Another Day would be a beautiful remake

There's a whole series for that Bond:

The Living Dailights; Dai-monds are Forever; No Time to Dai; Tomorrow Never Dai's; Dai Another Dai; and of course, Live and Let Dai. 


 
Posted : 15/05/2026 10:00 pm
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Golden Dai??


 
Posted : 16/05/2026 7:22 am
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Didn't we have @rogermoore on here. Haven't seen his name for a while, maybe he's getting a bit of practice in?


 
Posted : 16/05/2026 8:32 am
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Heard rumours it’s going to be a younger bond , a prequel if you will 🤔


 
Posted : 17/05/2026 6:35 pm
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Posted by: maccruiskeen

60 years of making movies about books that were written 70 years ago. Why does anyone see a need to keep doing it?

Because people like action spy movies, the titles may stay the same, but the stories vary, and they’re good entertainment, much like the Bourne series.


 
Posted : 18/05/2026 2:58 am
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Posted by: willard

I wonder if they are going to go for "gritty realism" Bond (think Bourne-ish) or more "pretty boy/stylish" Bond this time around.

It was Bourne that forced the change from the Bond as played by Moore, Lazenby, Dalton and Brosnan to Craig. They needed a character who was darker and more brutal, Bond is, after all, a state sanctioned assassin, not a pretty boy who hangs around casinos persuading pretty girls to get their kit off!


 
Posted : 18/05/2026 3:06 am
 eddd
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Bond has to be a male, privately educated only child. Personally I don't think skin colour matters - as long as he's been to Eton.


 
Posted : 18/05/2026 6:59 am
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Posted by: CountZero

It was Bourne that forced the change from the Bond as played by Moore, Lazenby, Dalton and Brosnan to Craig.

Dalton brought it back to earth. They realised after the RM era that it definitely needed a more serious character. Dalton was a much more grounded and realistic portrayal.

I really liked his two films, The Living Daylights is excellent. Licence To Kill was a completely original plot not based on the books and that really showed. Had its good points but it was a generic good guy brings down bad guy revenge film. Although the tanker stunts were incredible. 


 
Posted : 18/05/2026 7:09 am
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Posted by: eddd

Bond has to be a male, privately educated only child.

If we're drifting away from how Fleming thought about who Bond was, because let's face it, the character is more a movie star than a spy-novel character these days, then part of that is the fact that Fleming based his character on were the sorts of people he met during WW2, who were by and large 'good chaps' who had been to public school, didn't really have an inner monologue, and who were emotionally stunted by the fact they were sent to public school at the age of 7 and were regularly buggered and beaten. They were often doing that work, because they couldn't be trusted to do anything more useful and were entirely disposable. 

Given that there's a manosphere 'issue' Perhaps we had better leave those people in the past?


 
Posted : 18/05/2026 7:15 am
 JAG
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Posted by: crazy-legs

Dalton brought it back to earth

...and Brosnan made Bond ridiculous again!

For a long time I thought Roger Moore was the worst Bond but I recently re-watched one of the Pierce Brosnan films!

I prefer the realism of the Bourne franchise (although it's not really very real!) therefore I think Daniel Craig has been the best Bond to date :o)


 
Posted : 18/05/2026 1:42 pm
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Posted by: JAG

...and Brosnan made Bond ridiculous again!

 

Yes but Brosnan's first, Goldeneye is one of the best.

Likewise Craig's first, Casino Royale is probably his best. But all the Bonds that have had multiple films have had good ones and stinkers.

 


 
Posted : 18/05/2026 2:38 pm
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Posted by: joshvegas

but they have always been a bit shit.

Shirley a shite for shore eyesh?


 
Posted : 18/05/2026 3:40 pm
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Posted by: JAG

For a long time I thought Roger Moore was the worst Bond but I recently re-watched one of the Pierce Brosnan films!

Brosnan had a couple of really shit scripts and plots to work with though. His films started well with Goldeneye and were generally downhill all the way from there.

His final Bond, Die Another Day, was terrible and further let down by the appallingly bad special effects. Maybe they blew all the budget on fast cars being driven around icy lakes..


 
Posted : 18/05/2026 4:35 pm
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Posted by: downshep

Posted by: joshvegas

but they have always been a bit shit.

Shirley a shite for shore eyesh?

I shee what you did there.

 


 
Posted : 19/05/2026 7:00 am
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