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Help to bugger up F...
 

[Closed] Help to bugger up Fair Fuel UK's annual cycling hate survey.

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Completed so far on work PC and phone, still got Macbook, Ipad (x2) and wifes phone and three kids phones to go!

Won't they all have the same (external) IP address if they are connected to your router?

BTW - if you reboot your router, chances are you WILL have a different IP address.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 4:57 pm
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Done


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 4:57 pm
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Done.
By which I mean, as an occasional driver, I have honestly and accurately answered the questions as posed - I've not purposly "buggered it up".

"Shocked and devestated" as a possible answer in a multiple choice question about slight alterations to the usage of some public highways? Honestly? Spoilt brats much?!


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 5:01 pm
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WILL YOU VOTE FOR THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY AT THE NEXT GENERAL ELECTION

I did like that question answer combo. Sums up the crapness in one nice simple question.

I thought it was a highly professional survey without a hint of any attempt to use leading questions.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 5:08 pm
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Hehe. Done.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 5:32 pm
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Done. I even popped in a few misspelt words so that they could understand what I was saying.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 5:37 pm
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IN WHAT YEAR DO YOU BELIEVE THE BAN ON THE SALES OF NEW PETROL AND DIESEL VEHICLES SHOULD HAPPEN*

The sooner the better, less air pollution for my kids to grow up with. Should be easier to do as we won't have to kowtow to Europe and their rules and rely on foreign petrol cars

(not sure how that will go down, hopefully just the right side of contradictory nonsense)


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 5:43 pm
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My 15 year daughter just filled it in. She cycles so she is a road user. In her own words, she "actuals schooled him as that survey was ridiculous". I would love to have seen what she put down, she can be a complete assassin when she wants to.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 5:44 pm
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^^^^ yep 2021, commenting "It's time we put the planet first instead of our own convenience."


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 5:44 pm
 Olly
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"UNELECTED SPECIAL ADVISORS IN NO 10 ARE INFLUENCING THE ROLL OUT OF CYCLE LANES"

Well, obviously. people who are experts in their fields inform the government of the facts and advise as the most appropriate course of action to achieve a desired outcome. The PM cant be expectyed to be a qualified traffic management expert, and an expert in agriculture, and an expert in chemical substances, and an expert in dangerous dogs and an expert in...


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 6:14 pm
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Done, although I can't help feeling that the author couldn't care less how people have responded, only the number of them.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 6:36 pm
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Done


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 6:39 pm
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Done.
I've suggested the other 4 walking, cycling, driving members of my household also fill it in. 😎

I do suspect that the results shared might not be completely accurate...


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 6:41 pm
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I really enjoyed that. Any other surveys we can give the answer they don’t want too? I may of found a new hobby.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 6:49 pm
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If I wasn't stacked out with work a new bot would come into being.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 6:53 pm
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I may have had another go.

I asked if he touched himself when looking at pictures of Lady Di in The Express.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 6:58 pm
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Done. I’m a van driving cyclist so he’ll be livid about that!


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:09 pm
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I was hoping the OP was wrong but he wasn't.

Throwing around numbers like "2 BILLION FOR CYCLE LANES" but deliberately not giving people anything to compare it to or scale it against is predictably assholeish.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:19 pm
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The PM cant be expectyed to be a qualified traffic management expert, and an expert in agriculture, and an expert in chemical substances, and an expert in dangerous dogs and an expert in…

Yes, it's a shame he's no Donald Trump. (actually the Tango Shitgibbon hasn't used the 'nobody knows more about... than me' line for a while)

I'm home now, going to have another go.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:19 pm
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Dominic Cummings at dole.net has just had a go at the survey, but might have got a little sweary in the process...


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:27 pm
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That survey is terrible, lots of shouty capital letters and whatnot. I asked if a sixth former had been drafted in to write it given the lack of nuance.

I also explained at length how I couldn't possibly ever vote Conservative in the light of their incompetence and brazen bung-chucking activities and suggested that a few more Tory MPs out to spend time in jail, as it seemed to have turned Jonathan Aitken into some semblance of a human being.

I asked if he touched himself when looking at pictures of Lady Di in The Express.

Today's internet has been won, people.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:32 pm
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Anxiousy lolz at the survey! They even manage to have a poop at the Beeb!😁


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:35 pm
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Well, I think I'll have to start again. Obviously first choice was bicycle, but then the next page asked what the second most used mode was - I clicked 'Other' and put 'Train' but then it started to ask me what fuel my choice took and how old it was... 🙂


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:39 pm
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I wonder if the suggestion of mandatory resitting of the driving test every five years will go down well?


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:43 pm
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I was quite proud of this comment:

I may also cut back on jetpack use as landing in crowded town centres is a nightmare...

I didn't give particularly serious answers.
I found the questions on voting habits/plans an interesting addition...


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:44 pm
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I also explained at length how I couldn’t possibly ever vote Conservative in the light of their incompetence and brazen bung-chucking activities and suggested that a few more Tory MPs out to spend time in jail, as it seemed to have turned Jonathan Aitken into some semblance of a human being.

Even if they're "still the best choice" ?

Awful document.

(Done, btw)


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:45 pm
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Done- road haulage should make better use of the canal network to reduce congestion and emissions.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:47 pm
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Doneski. I suggested that perhaps the chap needed to calm down a bit and that perhaps he should go for a ride on his bike.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:54 pm
 aide
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Ha ha, thanks OP, that cheered me up today. My personal favourite answer was to the tory voting question....

NO

Id rather poke my eye out with a blunt instrument smeared in excrement


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 7:59 pm
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Done - thanks for the heads up.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 8:05 pm
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Done


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 8:06 pm
 PJay
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Done.

Unfortunately the question about which type your next car purchase would be didn't have an option for those of us that can't drive.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 8:07 pm
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'do you think the BBC gives an unbiased veiw?'
'Nowhere near as unbiased as your leading questions' was my reply
What a trumpet


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 8:10 pm
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Done. Enjoyed that. What a bellend he is. Is he all there is of fair fuel UK or does he have friends?


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 8:16 pm
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Done- road haulage should make better use of the canal network to reduce congestion and emissions.

On my latest completion of this survey I took influence from you but then suggested they look to merge old and emerging technology, canal + hyperloop = hypercanals. Perfect solution for the modern haulage industry


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 8:19 pm
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Done and the word is spreading. Family cycling group on Facebook also posted this and spreading the bike love to them.

Good work all!


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 8:41 pm
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Priti Patel has some strong views!

"Your questions about cyclists and the law are flawed to buggery; so too the one about VED. I also wish the fearless leaders of the UK would bring back the stocks for pavement parking, so people can throw pushchairs and wheelchairs at the selfish arses that leave their vehicles in such a mindless fashion."


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 8:51 pm
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Done.
told them that they need to support the introduction of hydrogen and infrastructure


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 8:53 pm
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Done, seen worse, answered fairly honestly, guess I'm not in step with their agenda though.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 8:58 pm
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I was glad of the 'never have done, never will' box when asking about voting tory scum.

A simple no just didn't seem adequate.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 8:58 pm
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Done, completed with pride and I'm a Germany living in German! Thank goodness I'm an EV loving non UK tax paying cyclist pretending to live in my mums house in Lincolnshire!

I hope he is outrage !


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 9:00 pm
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I had another go and felt compelled to point out that Peter Sutcliffe drove an HGV.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 9:08 pm
 DezB
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Done!
Enjoyed telling them how nice the roads were during the first lockdown.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 9:13 pm
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You could sense the HATE behind the questions

Bloody hell you weren't kidding.

"Would you like to see more cycle lanes even if it meant a little puppy would die"


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 9:20 pm
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Done. Don’t think I’m the target audience. Answered honestly.


 
Posted : 10/12/2020 9:25 pm
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