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Help! I need parent...
 

Help! I need parenting advice - tweenage daughter with boyfriend!

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#WAP 🤔


 
Posted : 18/07/2023 11:55 am
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footflapsFull Member
That YT clip was just hilarious!

Damned good movie too👍😁


 
Posted : 18/07/2023 12:18 pm
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My opinion is... You can't stop them. If they are going to do "stuff", they will probably find a place/time to do it regardless. Isn't it better to explore these things in the comfort of your own bed and a familiar space with some privacy, rather than feeling even more pressured rushing things in an unfamiliar environment? It's quite a big part of growing up (and it's natural), isn't it better to just ensure she/they are educated to make good decisions rather than trying to just say "no you're not allowed to do that"?


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 12:31 pm
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Sounds like you’ve tried to know that you can’t

TBH I thought everyone tried this at least once 🙂

(Ah Cougar beat me to it- as it was.)


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 2:15 pm
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My opinion is… You can’t stop them. If they are going to do “stuff”, they will probably find a place/time to do it regardless. Isn’t it better to explore these things in the comfort of your own bed and a familiar space with some privacy, rather than feeling even more pressured rushing things in an unfamiliar environment? It’s quite a big part of growing up (and it’s natural), isn’t it better to just ensure she/they are educated to make good decisions rather than trying to just say “no you’re not allowed to do that”?

I do and don't agree with that. I agree that, as parents, we should ensure our children have an opportunity to explore their sexuality in a safe and loving environment. However, I would expect a very large degree of consideration from them as to who else is in the house with them at the time - we would never (knowingly) make love in earshot of our children and I certainly would not want to hear them doing likewise. Time and a place for this stuff.


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 2:25 pm
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Making love? If you're going to that trouble surely you can drown any noises out by turning the volume up on your Barry White and Marvin Gaye playlist 😉


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 2:29 pm
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🤣 Just trying to avoid 'lad' language and sound like a grown-up.


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 2:34 pm
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Who is 'grown up' ?  Can't be having that !


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 2:38 pm
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TBH I thought everyone tried this at least once 🙂

(Ah Cougar beat me to it- as it was.)

That's a libellous accusation, I've never even met you.


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 2:39 pm
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This thread has suddenly reminded me of this bit of genius


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 2:39 pm
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However, I would expect a very large degree of consideration from them as to who else is in the house with them at the time – we would never (knowingly) make love in earshot of our children and I certainly would not want to hear them doing likewise. Time and a place for this stuff.

And if you do happen to hear them at it of a Sunday morning for the love of god don't turn up the volume to "Clare" by Fairground Attraction.

And over the rooftops when the stars prickle the skies
London is sleeping and the Mississippi moon shines
I hear them making love
I hear them making love
And over the rooftops when the stars prickle the skies
London is sleeping and the Mississippi moon shines
I hear them making love
I hear them making love
I hear them making love
I hear them making love
I hear them making love
I hear them making love
I hear them making love


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 2:40 pm
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we would never (knowingly) make love in earshot of our children

As I suggested above, maybe you should 😂


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 2:45 pm
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I'm not a parent and never will be, but my parents were incredibly controlling about relationship type stuff when I was younger, from when I was 13 all the way until I left home

So, I just did what I wanted elsewhere, lied to them, and I've had a shitty relationship with them to this day (I'm nearly 40)


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 2:45 pm
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Who is ‘grown up’ ?

Not me, just trying to sound like I am. Heaven forbid I ever do actually grow up. 🙂


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 2:48 pm
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Time and a place for this stuff.

Well, quite.

I wonder whether what you're suggesting here is really just teaching appropriate behaviour. Like, there is surely no doubts in any but the most naive of parents' minds that their teenage mutant ninja hellspawn use the F-bomb and worse language with gay abandon. So the lesson isn't "don't do it" because they will regardless and possibly even because they've been told not to, but rather should be "don't do it in front of granny."

My aforementioned first girlfriend went to a Catholic school with actual nuns wandering about. The entirety of their provided sex education - lest we forget, during the 1980s at the height of AIDS fears - was "don't do it, but if you do do it then don't use a condom because that offends god." And I don't really need to continue this anecdote, do I.

Outright prohibition doesn't work. Just ask North America. Rather, instilling into folk that it's poor form to rock up pissed at a funeral at 10am might be more prudent.

Maybe. I am not a parent.


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 2:52 pm
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Maybe. I am not a parent.

No, you are spot on – I never swore in front of my parents (apart from one time long after I had left home and went to theirs to watch a football match, got over-excited and forgot where I was). Likewise I never heard my parents swear (again, apart from a single time when I was doing some work for my dad and his work colleagues and I heard him swear – he immediately apologised to me). It's about respect and that respect has to be mutual for it to work. I just hope I do as good a job as my parents (generally) did with me.


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 3:09 pm
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Making love

You are Swiss Tony and I claim my free set of floor mats.

As for being in earshot, that's why ballgags were invented.

My son never wants to speak of the pre-Magaluf talk ever again! 😀

Where? You mean Shagaluf, right? 🤔


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 3:28 pm
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"Respect" is the word I was reaching for and couldn't quite grasp, yes. Thank you.


 
Posted : 19/07/2023 3:30 pm
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