[Closed] Has your life spanned out how you wanted it ?

Not sure I know how I want it to play out for more than a year in advance. But so far it's been going rather well.

At one stage I had a completely different idea of how it might have gone, but then I met the future Mrs Stoner and I jumped on a different path of possibilities. Different, not worse.

Absolutely, totally not. Apart from somehow having the most lovely Mrs I could wish for, the rest has been the most enormous disappointment. I had such high hopes when I was young, utterly naive. Life just rips you up and grinds away ceaselessly.

I know how you feel OP - just every day is like that.

1/10 at best (apart from Mrs O of course).

Not so far, no it hasn't.

I remain optimistic.

Well I'm not living on a yacht in Miami with a pet alligator and a Ferrari, so no.

Nope.

Have you seen that Jim Jeffries stand up? I think it's called alcohopocolypse or something like that.

Talks about how we have one of the highest standards of living in the world and 4 times the suicide rate of Africa.

I still have all of my limbs and I'm in good health, I couldn't ask for more in life, So yeah I guess I'm doing alright! 😀

But if your gonna be picky I'd say I don't have regrets however I could look back and say I've picked the wrong paths, All that can be done is to adjust, Survive and try to enjoy.

I have some really amazing friends, not a lot but enough money to live reasonably, good relationship with my family and I've finally dealt with some fairly significant identity issues that I had.

Yeah - it's going pretty well so far...

Rachel

but then I met the future Mrs Stoner and I jumped on a different path of possibilities

Does the current Mrs Stoner know about the future Mrs Stoner yet? 😀

Well... I'm not actually a spaceman. Though I was for most of my 20's

Never been one to look ahead and plan or visualise my ideal life, but I'm happy / lucky with my choices up to now. Mistakes have been made, but I can't think of any really damaging maljudgements where looking back I clearly took the wrong fork in the path.

Only 39 though, plenty of time to fk things up yet 🙂

I'm not rich but getting by and I have to work pretty hard for what I get but I'm self employed in the bike trade so no grumbles there.
The family's great, lovely most of the time and hard work just often enough to keep me on my toes.
I made some pretty big cock-ups earlier in my life (wasted far too much money on motorbikes, married someone completely wrong) but yes I am happy with where I am now.

Its a loaded question.

I have had some pretty rough times but there is always something to look forward to, life is just a big adventure. As has been said I have my health (touch wood) and great friends so doing ok.

mostly yes.
i have a reliable job, reasonable pay, a fantastic missus, live in a decent area, own outright a reliable car and have almost every base covered on the bike front.
except a fat bike.
it has taken longer than i hoped as im now 44.
due to marrying a workshy cheating bitch first time around.

martymac - Member

....
due to marrying a workshy cheating bitch first time around.

Should have added .. but I m not bitter ` superb 😆

I don't plan tomorrow never mind my life only thing I setup with any future is my career.

Hmmm, never set out with a plan and the last few years have been extremely challenging and, indeed, still are.

But out of all the crap evolves a different person with newly acquired strengths. Perhaps things happen for a reason? Who knows.

A lot has been learned.

Yes,for me ,a lot of the things I dreamed of as a child have come true.
Other people would judge it differently,but that's ok,I love my life.

There was no expectation or plan. So no, it has not gone how I expected it. I don't think this is a bad thing.

Some have argued that I have not fulfilled my potential (career or financially). But almost every day brings a challenge so I think they are wrong.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only person who has asked themselves this question on occasion.

[b]Be grateful for what you have got and remember there are those much less fortunate than yourself.[/b]

I've taught out in South Africa before, close to the slums of Soweto where pverty and crime is rife... this makes me get annoyed with myself when I start being unhappy with how [b]my[/b] life is going.

I often find myself thinking that there should be "more to life than this" when pulling myself out of bed on a Monday morning to go and deal with a bunch of ungrateful teenagers who can't see the world outside of their blackberry's and XBox's (they are currently sat doing a test at the minute). I somehow think I am special and should have ended up rich and living in the alps riding my bike every day... but that's not realistic is it, but for some reason I am dissapointed that my life isn't like this.

I often have to remind myself that I have a stable job with a fairly decent income, I'm really really happy with the house I own, my wife's amazing and I get to ride 13 weeks a year during school holidays. Ive got money for beer and steak and kashima coated bits and can pay what some foreign workers equivalent weeks wages for a shiny tube that says "Thomson" on it... so why should I ever be down? Why am I pissed off that I've lost a crown race so can't fit my new forks yet? Why get annoyed that I've sat in traffic for 40 minutes this morning?

Truth is, in this country most of us don't know what it's like to have a shit life, even if you lose your job and fall on hard times the state helps to keep things ticking over. But for some reason most of us expect to have ended up being Alan Sugar and feel like something went wrong because we are not.

For most of us the only true pain we ever have to deal with is the death or long term suffering of a loved one.

So why are so many people not happy? I think it is the way our society makes us want more, it complicates life and most of us are always seeking material gain.

My life is great... but I don't think I appreciate it enough...I think I need to have some kids next to feel like it has really gone well.

Paul

Never had a plan.

Only thing I [i]didn't[/i] want was a "career". And pretty thankful I don't when I hear people talking about theirs (be it in a positive or negative sense). So all in all, mrs DD and dd are happy and healthy. Two weeks in hospital with dd made me feel more relaxed about unimportant stuff.

Well I started out as an orphan growing up on a farm in the middle of nowhere. I thought i'd a chance of avoiding the farming life, and manage to hitch a lift into more interesting times. A while back, I ran into my old man, who I was convinced was dead. Turns out he'd been a pretty nasty piece of work for a while, but we managed to patch things up before he passed. After some unforgettable episodes in the last decade, I hope to get my life back on track soon...

Never had a plan and just gone with the flow and spotted a few good opportunities along the way and taken some and left others. Bar a few wrong turns, it's all going pretty well so far.....

I had such high hopes when I was young, utterly naive. Life just rips you up and grinds away ceaselessly.

I found this quite sad. I wrote the following lyrics many years ago by imagining someone really down on their luck. It's not actually that pleasant to hear it for real...

[i]I’ve heard of life’s rich tapestry
but all it ever seems to be
is bloodied wounds from falling on our knees
With ignorance and disbelief
through apathy and mortal grief
the truth we grasp will slowly slip away
Life is full of discontent
your money earned
your shelf life spent
and what remains The Hand will take away
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be
this torn and bloodied tapestry
a heart of stone is all it gets from me[/i]

My life, in contrast, has been blooming lovely apart from the shit. But as the missus says; shit washes-off...

🙂

panned out

[i]own outright a reliable car[/i]

Don't take much to make you satisfied... 😉

No

Either suck it up or do something about it.

In some ways nowhere near what I wanted (reasonably successful career, married with kids, not got yet - 40 this year)

In other ways I've achieved more than I ever dreamed of, had some amazing experiences and been to some amazing places. It's mainly my love of bikes and mountains which has taken me there.

Skydiving for 3 years was amazing, trip to Nepal gave some much-needed perspective as per Chilled76's post, having 4 godsons is very rewarding and an obvious pointer to a more satisfying job.

I'm not quite sure where things have gone wrong with the career thing especially, probably just picked the wrong industry (financial services marketing), but am continuing to work on moving elsewhere on the basis that persistence will pay off eventually...

I do think the general culture of consumerism and entitlement is a massive barrier to happiness... Sherpas are a much smilier lot than the masses in Ikea at the weekend!

No, not really. At nearly 58, I have to accept that!

No, because I've never really had a plan and just drift along, I regret this attitude sometimes though. Now I'm 43 I think I should get a plan but I see so many times people who are sensible and have plans get shafted by life and other people, so I dont know.

Oi Chilled76 - weren't you supposed to be riding with me in Pines yesterday? 😀

I'd be even happier if I hadn't woken up to one of our cats heaving his guts up over the duvet this morning.

It comes with a plan!! 😯

Not exactly - but it is pretty good now.

I wish I hadn't spent my 20's lazing about and doing next to nothing, as I'm still paying for it now (just turned 40)
I wish I'd had the money to travel more, and I wish I'd had to foresight to take some risks, and make better judgements...

But, I've now got a pretty sustainable and reliable career (project management/Engineering/defence Industry) a fantastic Mrs and two brilliant kids.
We live in a nice area, but currently own the shabbiest house in our road, however, we are going to pull it apart and do a huge extension/renovation this summer which will provide a comfortable and safe palce for us all to live.

I'd be even happier if I hadn't woken up to one of our cats heaving his guts up over the duvet this morning.

Better than a friend's experience of being woken by it shitting on his throat...*

*This is theory as I have experienced neither.

[img] [/img]

Life is what you're missing when you're watching TV.....

Never had high expectations and i havent been disappointed ... just gone with the flow
made some good choices also made a few howlers but im very happy with life Im married
have three great kids nice home and a job that pays the bills
dont waste time dwelling on what might have been
if your unhappy with your lot do something to change it
life's too short

I often find myself thinking that there should be "more to life than this" when pulling myself out of bed on a Monday morning to go and deal with a bunch of ungrateful teenagers who can't see the world outside of their blackberry's and XBox's (they are currently sat doing a test at the minute). I somehow think I am special and should have ended up rich and living in the alps riding my bike every day... but that's not realistic is it, but for some reason I am dissapointed that my life isn't like this.

I often have to remind myself that I have a stable job with a fairly decent income, I'm really really happy with the house I own, my wife's amazing and I get to ride 13 weeks a year during school holidays. Ive got money for beer and steak and kashima coated bits and can pay what some foreign workers equivalent weeks wages for a shiny tube that says "Thomson" on it... so why should I ever be down? Why am I pissed off that I've lost a crown race so can't fit my new forks yet? Why get annoyed that I've sat in traffic for 40 minutes this morning?

Truth is, in this country most of us don't know what it's like to have a shit life, even if you lose your job and fall on hard times the state helps to keep things ticking over. But for some reason most of us expect to have ended up being Alan Sugar and feel like something went wrong because we are not.

For most of us the only true pain we ever have to deal with is the death or long term suffering of a loved one.

So why are so many people not happy? I think it is the way our society makes us want more, it complicates life and most of us are always seeking material gain.

This - saved me typing more or less the same.

never had any plans for life really, just kinda went with the flow, and as I flowed along I realised I should maybe have had a couple of plans. I wasted 16-22 then 22-28 was great but ultimatley I didnt achieve anything, then have spent 30 to now (41) trying to look like I new what I was doing and why I was doing it.
I have no expectations of anything or anyone, I just kinda take as i find and accept what comes.

when I think about my own life and reading notes here makes me realise how true that Pink Floyd lyrics are on TIME on Dark side of the Moon

'And then the one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun'

and most of all.

'Hanging on in quiet desperation
Is the English way'

"Oi Chilled76 - weren't you supposed to be riding with me in Pines yesterday?

"

Yes I was matey, but I sold my Turner frame that I've had advertised for a while so had to drive down to near Stanstead to sell it instead.

I'll be out with the club soon though mate, be interesting to see if any of the old faces I remember are still riding? Don't think we've crossed paths before have we?

If you had asked me this a year and a half ago, I would have said no, I had a rubbish job, my marriage was at its end and I was at a very low point in my life, but now I'm with an amazing new man, living in Australia and I'm happier than I've ever been, so seeing as my only real plan in life was to try and be happy I would say yes so far this year it's spanned out just great! 😀

Not really when I was at school I wanted to be a vet but getting average grades put paid to that so I just studied science and went to uni not knowing what I wanted to do. Hind site is a wonderful thing I should have taken my time and gone to a college where I would be encouraged in finding what I wanted to do instead I drifted. Saying that I met some wonderful people one of whom is my husband.
Today I should be a mother of 2 kids but that is another story. With the career I ditched science and tried holistic therapies however with the economic down turn that didn't work out but it did bring out my creative side and I now draw pet portraits for a living and am getting a steady stream of work due to word of mouth so in a way I am working with animals.

Life is like a game of cards , we are all dealt a hand which we then have to play as best we can . Problems arise because people try to play the hand that they think they deserve rather than the hand they actually have been dealt.

I've got everything I ever wanted.

“Life is just a series of peaks and troughs, and you don't whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out, or on a peak until you're coming down. And that's it, you know, you never know what's round the corner. But it's all good. "If you want the rainbow you've got to put up with the rain". Do you know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits.”

I struck it lucky by being born in London so life was never going to be completely shite was it? I've done lots, am OK for money and have a lovely wife and two brilliant kids. I'd like to spend more time doing the things I love instead of the things I have to but there you go.

I do however still have the odd whoop whoop moment so it's all good.