I guess the other approach, given that her speeding seems to be a function of her being
' a going at a million miles an hour type person and always busy with loads on the go which translates to her driving as well' might be some sort of counselling or therapy to try and divorce (sorry) her general approach to life from her driving.As someone's said already, driving fast mostly doesn't actually result in shorter journey times. Maybe starting journeys earlier than needed with take some of the perceived urgency out of the equation. Maybe there are mental techniques she could use.
If she's naturally curious, she might find it an interesting process. Is there a pattern to her speeding or does she just drive fast all the time? If it only happens in certain situations - if she feels she's late for example - then that's something to work with.
Anyway, just a thought. Of course if she doesn't view it as a problem, it's probably a non-starter.
Edit: having read your last post, probably not.
Unfortunately, the OP will still be at fault - prepare for big ear ache.
30 years of driving, not one point. I get the 'fun' out on the pedal bikes.
Fortunately, my missus is a safe driver, as she's seen me injured too many times by poor driving - this last time was a bit too close to being in a wheelchair - far too close.
RNP, that actually makes it harder than if she was just foot flat down everywhere.
try focusing on the positive aspects more, but still quietly mentioning the current speed limit if necessary.
my wife pointed out to me (later) how fast i was going when i overtook a car, it wasn’t enough to get an automatic ban, but would definitely have got the attention of the police, I actually didn’t believe her at first because it didn’t seem that fast.
but it has made me pay more attention to my speed, even though I’ve never even been stopped, let alone had a ticket.
best of luck.
For the OP I’d go with aftermarket SATNAV - a basic Garmin can give alerts at the limit and displays the speed limit on screen all the time for reference. If she’s an idiot who think speeding is acceptable then this wont make a difference.
how about an insurance telematics black box?
Yeah, just a little longer and she’ll get a ban no doubt. Better that she’s off the road anyway, she sounds like a proper tool.
This really. Interesting that we're focusing on the wife here rather than the general public that has to share a road with her. My advice would be to see if you can encourage her to speed again somewhere where she is no danger to anyone but likely to get caught. Then she'll get a ban and the rest of us can go about our lives slightly more safely.
She doesnt speed in built up areas
How do you know ?
I’m not going to probe anymore into your life/lifestyle but I ask the question because when you are not in the car, or when she’s taking other passengers, how do you know she’s not speeding in built up areas ?
Some people think they are above the law and disregard any help and assistance when offered.
She has a lesson to learn.
This really. Interesting that we’re focusing on the wife here rather than the general public that has to share a road with her.
I think actually we're empathising with the OP and trying to help him find a solution that'll stop his wife from her habitual speeding. And here's the thing, if she stops speeding, then that - in your interpretation - makes her a safer driver, job done. Everyone happy.
The whole 'she deserves to learn a lesson' slant misses the point that having been done for speeding three times she hasn't 'leant a lesson' and there's no guarantee that banning her will teach her a lesson either.
Where do you live - we have a static caravan in N Wales, and you don't speed as the Police there hide cameras for big money earners. The Police in the Village our caravan in have better resources than Greater Manchester Police. LOL
The Police in the Village our caravan in have better resources than Greater Manchester Police. LOl
dont let the facts get in the way of you. The police don’t get to keep speeding fines - the6 go to the treasury.
each one has been 1 or 2mph above the allowed limits.
If you mean the posted limit, that's really unusual and could have been challenged (especially with the mobile units that can be less accurate than fixed cameras in normal use). At 6 points, it would have been worth the risk of a higher fine.
If you mean she was over the 10%+2 threshold that is often used then that takes her a long way over. You are talking 70mph in a 60 limit. Those are enforcement thresholds, not speed limits.
0 points on my license in a decade of driving so far…
0 points in over 4 decades here, with no gizmos to remind me not to speed. I reckon she's going to lose her licence.
Let her lose her licence, refuse to drive her anywhere. If she won't listen to reason then she only has herself to blame. She sounds like she needs a hoof in the slats.
Divorce her.
We all speed. Any driver who says they don't is a liar. What is very concerning though is the OP's wife's lack of awareness at what is going on around her. She's best off off the road ASAP.
**** her!
Would she accept an assessment from an expert driver? The IAM offer something along those lines and deliver pretty clear verdicts on observation skills, anticipation, smooth use of controls etc.
I guess if she has found nothing to take on board from 2 speed awareness courses, then probably not...but a more practical approach might help?
Show her the worst examples of Russian dashcam footage on YouTube....the majority of which shows the consequences not just of breaking speed limits, but inappropriate use of speed and excessive closing speeds between vehicles. I'd say that it is this, combined with the need to retain moral high ground over my own Mrs' 2 fines and a course that made me start taking limits more seriously.
https://www.iamroadsmart.com/courses/drive-check-plus
if she's as good as she says she is, she has no reason to refuse....
Speeding where it's safe to do so (ie NOT IN A 20 or 30 (and mostly 40) MPH zones) i have no problem with. Speeding and completely failing to notice the MASSIVELY OBVIOUS cameras or Cops i do have a problem with. Lets face it, they don't exactly hide the camera's now do they!
So, get her booked on a local driving course pronto (there are plenty of courses for people who already "know" how to drive). Alternatively, as you know her route home, hide behind a parked car and as she zooms past, throw a lifesized cardboard cut out "dummy" of one of your kids in front of her. That ought to do the trick as they bounce of the windscreen.........
I assume that apart from losing 2 half days to the speed awareness courses there has'nt actually been any direct consequences to her lifestyle for her speeding .
She sees nothing wrong with it.Why would she change?
Some people have to learn the hard way.Hopefully this won't involve either her or another innocent party being injured,
We all speed. Any driver who says they don’t is a liar.........
Brave words for here. I take my hat off to you.
suburbanruban
Nope - not all drivers speed. I don't drive a lot but I haven't broken a speed limit in 3 years now. Even 20 mph ones. Scotroutes of this parish is another who doesn't break speed limits - I have been a passenger with him
It was actually discussions wi9th him that changed my attitude to driving the A9 - he challenged me to try driving at or below the limit. It takes only maybe 15 mins more to inverness than driving at speed limit plus 10 mph that I used to do ( but an hour and a half more than really blasting on a motorbike 😉 ) and is so much less stressful I almost had trouble staying awake.
Do you each have a car ? I would prepare for the inevitable and make sure your Insurance isn't screwed by a wife with a ban , have a mental plan in place for childcare etc
Good luck
plumslikerocks/
^ thanks for the link
We all speed. Any driver who says they don’t is a liar.
Do we? I don't intentionally and if I realise I have crept above the limit** take immediate action to remedy the problem. It is the "everyone does it" and "its OK to go 10%+2 above the limit" views which make people believe its acceptable.
In the 1960s "everyone" used to drink drive too.
** yes I mean the actual limit as displayed on my speedo not some self justification that my speedo slightly over reads and the police have a tolerance for prosecution.
My wife wrote off 3 cars in 6 months.
The worst was when she somersaulted the car and put our 2 kids in hospital.
But she was always a petrolhead. Her best accident was at a speedway meet when she was piloting a sidecar outfit. Her passenger got so terrified that she jumped off and my wife ended up rolling the outfit and losing about a square foot of skin off her back, and worse, wrecking a new leather jacket.
She eventually learned that a throttle isn't an on/off switch but has intermediate positions....
Time to buy her a bike lmao 😀
She needs a change in attitude.
She may think she is speeding safely, but she hasn't been good enough to spot the camera vans, point that out.
each one has been 1 or 2mph above the allowed limits.
Maybe one or two mph over the threshold but several mph over the limit. Take speedo over-reading into account and she will have been noticeably over.
This sounds terrible, but if she won’t be told then let her get banned.
This may be the only course of action. Get caught once; reign it in. Get caught twice; drive like a saint. Three times? Have a word!
Poly
correct.
Many people fail to see the difference between the speed limit and the 10%+2mph where the police will act.
Just because they may not take action at 5% doesn’t make it legal.
I would say there aren’t many drivers who never ever speed, but I actually feel that situation is improving generally.
Work have these boxes that plug into the car but also have gps and scream at you in beep form when you are breaking the speed limit.
still if she is committed then she won't use anything. Just let her get the ban and the bus...
it wont be pleasant and probably still your fault but not much you can do only she can do it for herself
Nope – not all drivers speed. I don’t drive a lot but I haven’t broken a speed limit in 3 years now. Even 20 mph ones. Scotroutes of this parish is another who doesn’t break speed limits – I have been a passenger with him
They may not habitually speed, but they will, at some point have inadvertently broken the speed limit. Even if they correct it upon noticing as poly suggests, they must have broken the limit to have something to correct in the first place.
nope - I very much doubt scotroutes has and I know I haven't
nope – I very much doubt scotroutes has and I know I haven’t
Well, either you gave a different definition of the word “never” than most people do, or I simply don’t believe you.
Its not difficult. Check the speed limit for the area, set cruise control / speed limiter to suit. Just because you find something impossible does not mean it is.
Book her an advanced driving course , they'll teach her how to safely make progress .
I’ve never knowingly broken a speed limit. I normally drive slightly below the limit (clue in the name) and regularly check my speed. I may have inadvertently crept over a limit without realising it every now and then, but I’m not aware of ever doing this. Why do some folk find it difficult to believe that some of us are happy to drive at or under (conditions dictating) the posted limit?
Put smaller wheels and/or tyres on the car. Less speed for any given speedo reading. She'll think she's speeding when she's not, sorted.
https://www.carbibles.com/tire-size-calculator/
have a mental plan in place for childcare etc
Actually maybe doing that or even a formal plan might help although I imagine it's a difficult conversation to take.
I'm wondering if the GPS would actually help. I don't habitually speed and always try to stay within the limits but I have been caught twice for speeding now (on the Dutch and French motorways) because I had missed a point where the speed had temporarily reduced. Our car now has GPS that shows the speed limit and I find it helps. Yes, I should see all the signs and not have to rely on an additional device but there is nothing wrong with a backup reminder
and is so much less stressful I almost had trouble staying awake.
That sounds safe
...Why do some folk find it difficult to believe that some of us are happy to drive at or under (conditions dictating) the posted limit?
Because it makes them feel better to claim “everybody does it”
I used to drive 65,000 miles a year for work, I drive at 60-65 on Motorways (on cruise control) and I’m fine with it, I get where I’m going just fine. And that’s 45,000 motorway miles a year.
I don’t see driving legally as being restricted, I don’t think I would drive much differently if the speed limits changed to be honest. It’s a relaxing way to drive.
Interestlingly, I also don’t seem to experience all the aggro a lot of other people seem to complain about all the time on the roads. 🤔
Vested interest here... just about to get my first speeding points in 30 years. It was poor observation on my part... I thought I was on a dual carriageway. I wasn't.
As I have got older, speeding becomes less attractive ... there is a point when you realise you don't get there any quicker. Though doing 155 mph down a German autobahn still has a thrill factor.
Constantly speeding, when she has the points she has , is just a sign of self obsession. And continuing when you have received 9 points is just arrogance / denial or just an attitude that "the man is an arse".
You will not change that behaviour unless she sees an RTA first hand. Let her lose her licence.
That said , everyone is getting evangelical about speeding. I would guess that other bad driving will kill many more this year - phones, doing other stuff, talking to passengers, non-obs of other road users, intolerance of other road users, changing lanes with looking in mirrors, no lane discipline on roundabouts ... and drink & drugs.
Get the app, get it to ping at the speed limit, get her to treat it like a game/challenge/trial, driving for 2 weeks to the speed limit and not the 10%+2.
It's not an instruction to immediately start driving in a different way forever, which some can take to be daunting, impossible, like being asked to become a different person. But two weeks, or even one, should be something she can accept and stick to, should be long enough to realise that it makes next to no difference to journey times, that it's a satisfying way of driving in itself. It might encourage her to leave a bit earlier, or at least on time rather than 5 minutes late.
I don't know your wife, but that'd be my approach.
Love the way this thread has become not so much about the OP's wife's specific problem, or rather his problem with it and more about people's smug proclamations of rigid adherence to speed limits.
Did I deduce though that while TJ has zero tolerance with speed limits on four wheels, he's happy to gun it on a motorcycle? How exactly does that work then? I guess you don't care about the innocent members of the public and little ducklings you're putting at risk as long as you're having fun eh?
If she disergards speed limits, does she also disregard the law on phone use?
Give her an ultimatum; make it clear that you will not accept any points and that you will not act as driver when she gets banned and that if she kills or injures somebody you will do everything you can to help her through the mental crisis that will follow, but you will never absolve her from the blame.
It was poor observation on my part… I thought I was on a dual carriageway. I wasn’t.
Not having a dig at all, we all make mistakes, I'm just intrigued - this should be a pretty easy spot? 🙂 Not knowing the difference is one thing, but knowing and not recognizing? I don't understand!
Not having a dig at all, we all make mistakes, but this should be a pretty easy spot?
Not knowing the difference is one thing, but knowing and not recognizing? I don’t understand!
Well, for one thing, stretches of single-lane road which then sprout an overtaking lane - so there are actually two lanes - are, I'm pretty sure, not classed as dual carriageway, so are still subject to a 60mph limit even though they look rather like dual carriageway.
And people make mistakes.
