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After the recent news about the invite from no.10 to 100 staff to have a party during lockdown I enjoyed the headlines the following day including 'Downing It Street'.
It got me thinking there's some witty people on here (perchy where are you?!) and we might want a thread to guess the headlines for the following day - any that are actually on the money get a mystery prize (ok its not a mystery, its a hand-clap emoji).
For today's revelation that Boris was actually at the party I'm going with tomorrow's headline being 'Downing and Out' but I suspect others can do better,
What've we got? Oh and of course if there's an existing thread please shame away 🙂
Edit - any subject, obvs
Daily Express - Oh, Diana!!
Kronenberg 1922.
Daily Express – Oh, Diana!!
We've not had an update on the Madeleine McCann situation for a while
or SNOWMAGEDDON!!!!
鲍里斯是个说谎的混蛋 Shanghai gazette.
Daily Star:
Look at our T!TS! (p3)
Headline: Look, We've Told You - He's Doing His Best
Sub: Stop Starmer Being Beastly To Boris
- The Heil
Conservatives: The 'not-a-party' party Party.
Daily Star:
Look at our T!TS! (p3)
Given some of their recent headlines it will probably be something along the lines of folks needing to check their eyesight after space flight to Jupiter.
Daily Mail - Immigrants made Boris party at 5* hotel while our veterans slept in the streets.
"It's My Party And I'll Lie If I Want To"
"Hands. Face. Drinks at my place."
Boozy bojo bozo.
Not witty but Andy or the rugby. They might save the latter till Feb for the 6 nations.
"Maxwell gives Andy life line" ?
Although her dad never got one
Or based on Tory questions from PMQs today, the Daily Mail is likely to go with:
- Defund the BBC
- Washing machines microplastics outrage
- Isn't Stoke great!
It's beyond satire. Since he now knows that he was at the party yesterday he didn't know it even took place. Now he didn't know it was a party but thought it was work. **** me I wish I had a job like that. Headline "Closing Time Boris"
Paedo Prince Starts To Wince.
Bring Your Own Boris
The Gangbang Duke of York... (to the tune of The Grand Old Duke of York)
If I would Fly 10,000 miles...
Cheese, wine, back to mine...
“It’s My Party And I’ll Lie If I Want To”
Brilliant
A Nation mourns the passing of Her Majesty – Out of respect we will be offering a news blackout for the next fortnight.
Super Starmer Goes Ballistic Boris Was Atrocious
There ain't no party, like a Conservative party.......
Or
Andrew and Boris up a tree, F U C _ E D
Nonce v Ponce - who do the public hate the most?
Mirror - Apologise? A pack o' lies?
Daily Heil - Our poor Boris can't even thank his devoted staff, meanwhile 500 immigrant boats have ILLEGALLY invaded OUR shores today, and they'll be given YOUR house.
Telegraph - Boris appears at PMQs
Daily Sport - Phwoooaaar, wotta STUNNA. More on pages 2, 3, 4 etc etc
Nonce Price Bronx Pinch
I'm hoping for 'Boris resigns, overturns Brexit and kicks Rees Mogg in the balls.'
I feel I shall be disappointed.
Prince Andrew something or other
Super Starmer Goes Ballistic Boris Was Atrocious
If only
Daily Mail – Immigrants made Boris party at 5* hotel while our veterans slept in the streets.
Similar vein 😆 beat me to it.
Boris Jog-on (pleeeease)
Shall we guess The Sun's headline in particular? Given that the now Deputy Editor of the Sun was a Downing Street Staffer at the time and probably at the party?
Given the scoop that would seemingly give them - they always seem to find something else to put on the front page whenever rule breaking tory party parties are in the news
Corbyn's party's would have been 1000% worse...
The Gangbang Duke of York
I could imagine this on a red top!
"US inflation hits 7%", FT.... IGMC
"Liz Truss for Tory leadership, because if you're going throw a party you may as well do it properly."
Apparently he thought he was going to a work event. What they're trying to find out now is if he brought a bottle.
Which he'll never admit to.
Ghislaine Maxwell commits suicide.....
looks like no winners of the highly coveted hand clap emoji this time but there’s always tomorrow - I’m getting in early and hoping djokovic gets booted out of oz with the headline ‘Novax gets served’ (mirror)
There's not much that I could every hope to successfully parody that won't be printed tomorrow TBH.
The Daily Express will probably lead with the 137th headline that the EU is about to collapse and that nonces should have a brief amnesty.