[Closed] From deep within the recesses of your hollowed out volcano*....

Thought this was another picolax thread

Hmm...the inner workings of the mind of the home-counties-vertically-challenged Diverge owner 😛

I'm going to gradually annex my neighbors, grab a bit under the screen of a separatist movement. Negotiate a cease fire, stir up trouble grab a bit more and repeat.

I'd DDoS Twitter and Facebook. That should bring the world crumbling to its knees.

apart from China, anyway.

I'd probably seek to control near to all of the oil and gas coming from Russia and Eastern Europe. I'd murder, intimidate and threaten anyone who looked like opposing me in any serious fashion. Maybe kick off a local civil war. Ought to get me some manly calendar shots done too.

Edit, Klunk beat me to it.

All copies of the Daily Mail get printed with a ricin based ink 8)

I would be getting myself a big shoulder-padded officers uniform, plenty of gold bits on it and loads of medals for that time i basically bunked off even being in the national guard instead of going to vietnam.

But more seriously, buy out the market for that rare earth stuff they make magnets and iphones out of. Relatively cheap way to make a real geopolitical difference.

a world wide mobile phone jammer, send the human race back to the 20th century !!!

(amount to be decided.)

£1.49 a month maybe?

£1.49 a month maybe?

Bastards. (-:

Actually, you know what I'd do? I'd remove all the safety labelling from things. If people can't buy coffee without requiring the cup to warn you that it might be hot, they have no place in my world order.

Also, eff this ess:

[img] [/img]

Ok, I would seize control of the entire world's supply of soft toilet paper. Everyone will have to use that hard shiny stuff, until the governments of the world pay me... One Million Pounds!

True evil right there! 😀

£1.49 a month maybe?

I'd take out Turkey Twizlers.
Close Iceland (the supermarket) for a few days.
Post guards on lidl/aldi
Force everyone to shop in Waitrose.
It's guaranteed to soften the angst of anyone high on processed meat.

I win.

If people can't buy coffee without requiring the cup to warn you that it might be hot, they have no place in my world order.

Theres a story behind that and its actually quite sad

Care to share?

The story I'd heard was a woman in McD's kicking off because she'd poured it over her kids or something. Whether it's true or an urban myth I've no idea.

Wot no lasers? Gotta have a death ray somewhere in the mix 🙁

Id put tipex in one of the milk bottles in the works fridge...and not tell which one....

or perhaps just irradiate all the largest freshwater lakes and aquifers in the world simultaneously.....mwahhahhahahhH!

can I be the leader of a super assassin ninja electra girl army?

emsz - Member
can I be the leader of a super assassin ninja electra girl army?

You just know people are going to want pictures of that! 😀

40mpg - Member
Wot no lasers? Gotta have a death ray somewhere in the mix

POSTED 9 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST

Nah, they're sold out. Flippin Royal Mail got the job lot.

The story I'd heard was a woman in McD's kicking off because she'd poured it over her kids or something. Whether it's true or an urban myth I've no idea.

The famous one is this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck_v._McDonald%27s_Restaurants

I can't really say I've ever understood the jury's reasoning myself.

Sharks with laser beams in lightning jets taking out aggressive, unpleasant drivers - that should cull a reasonable proportion of the uk's cars this increasing road capacity for all.

Then I would get my army of nameless boiler suited minions to take over the tarmac laying machines and stores of green tarmac and get to work on our road network.

I fear I am more Dr Gru (or more accurately one of the minions) than Ernst Stavro Blofield though. Frankly just trying to build some cycle paths is not really super evil (or is it...?)

Mwah ha ha

All you lot fluffing about ...

Do you have the launchhhhh codeeeee ... ?

Few presses of the button will get rid of so many ZMs the earth will once more be at peace.

😆

I can't really say I've ever understood the jury's reasoning myself.

Yeah. It's not like a warning would've changed anything, is it. She didn't sit there thinking, "this coffee is probably cool enough to water my ladygarden... oh no!", rather she spilled it accidentally.

There may be an argument against McDs for providing coffee that was abnormally hot (which it doesn't seem to have been), or against Ford for not providing cup holders, or her grandson for not helping a 79-year old to handle 80' liquids, or the "sweat pant" manufacturers for providing overly absorbent trousers, but the idea that she didn't know it'd be hot and the cup should carry a warning is lunacy.

In fact, reading that article, it's bogus too.

"Though there was a warning on the coffee cup, the jury decided that the warning was neither large enough nor sufficient. "

So the warning [i]pre-dates that incident,[/i] the entire thing is moot anyway.

I would introduce a new wheel size....

Though on full world domination I think nothing works better than changing the climate so more extreme weather occurs, countries flood and places become unlivable. The only way the world would be able to deal with climate change is if they could shoot it.

Mikew wins the evil Internet. Another new wheel size - I think the whole Internet might stop under the weight of confused mtbrs.

27.357 wheels any one?

double post...

Steal all the phone chargers in the world and hold them to ransom.

I have developed a Velcro eating chemical weapon. Pads will fall out of helmets, trousers will flap in the wind, battery packs will drop off frames, riding bikes will be doomed for those who have dispensed with buttons and zips.
But then I could be lying, why should I tell you my plans for world domination. ...........

[url= http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html ]Some good tips here[/url].

I will control opinion through ownership of varied mass media over many continents.

Or, has that already been done?

APF