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[Closed] friends with benefits

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Surprised how many of my colleagues, both male & female, are familiar with this. From their experiences though there seems to be more cons than pros.

Wondered if it’s really that prevalent and why not just bet a gf/bf?


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:40 pm
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[img] [/img]

*lurks with biscuits and cup of tea*


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:42 pm
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lol jamie


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:43 pm
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I have had 'arrangements' like that when it has suited me, usually when i haven't got the time or when i am feeling particuarly commitment adverse. Can't see the problem with it tbh if it works why knock it . . . oh i forgot where i was for a minute, I will sit back and see the non offensive carefully considered opinions come in 🙂


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:45 pm
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It's a good way to lose a friend IME.


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:46 pm
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Serves a purpose as long as one party doesn't get more involved than the other. When it gets really awkward is when one of your school f*** buddies turns out to be your future wife's best mate (and also her maid of honour) awkward!


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:47 pm
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Had this situation when I left a long term relationship a few years ago, I didn't really want a GF at the time, and so it suited me. The cons outweighed the pros though eventually, she became a lot keener than I was, and I ended up hurting her, despite the fact that we'd agreed from the start what we both wanted.

I wouldn't do it again if I found myself in a similar situation.


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:48 pm
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Ha ha - is that why your called pic n mix?!


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:49 pm
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Is it not easier if you just pay them?


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:49 pm
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'friends with benefits' and 'How do you know when enough is enough in a marriage?' fighting for top position in the chat forum.

😯


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:49 pm
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Yes it can be great. It can also be awful. On the whole I wouldn't recommend it.


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:50 pm
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The cons outweighed the pros though eventually, she became a lot keener than I was, and I ended up hurting her, despite the fact that we'd agreed from the start what we both wanted.

^^^ this, every time ime


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:50 pm
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Best mate had this for a little while, made it clear there would never be a relationship. A bit later said person turned round and said they had fallen in love with him so he ended it then n there.

I had it for a little while with an ex who I had stopped loving but he still loved me, it was just making things harder n meant he never moved on so that ended quickly too!


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:50 pm
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it was just making things harder

Oh really? 😉


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:51 pm
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cbmotorsport. Exactly the same here.

I'd be more cautious if (hypothetical - married now) I was in the same situation now, but I can't say I'd definitely not be tempted, given a persuasive argument. Women can be as wily as men can be easily led!


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:52 pm
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[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:54 pm
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if it was Mila kunis then to hell with any disadvantages, I could live with them.


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:55 pm
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Yes it can be great. It can also be awful. On the whole I wouldn't recommend it.

Agreed in full.


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:55 pm
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can work, usually one part ends up getting hurt. Broke up with an ex years ago as neither of us wanted to be in a relationship at the time, sex continued for 6 months though!


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:56 pm
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Been there/done that. A relationship I was in broke up but we continued to play hide the sausage for a while. It all worked out fine in the end as we both moved on eventually (it helped that I moved town).


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:56 pm
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It's fun, it works (as long as the ground rules are in place) and it goes both ways.
I have one and I am one to several 🙂
Don't think of it as Sex - think of it as "Helping your friend have an orgasm".........


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:57 pm
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It's a good way to lose a friend IME.

It's a good way to lose the best friend you've ever had IME... 🙁


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:58 pm
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I have one and I am one to several

You are FatSimon AICMFP


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 1:59 pm
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I have always ended up getting hurt when in this situation.

When I had a guy who was a friend with benefits, we both ended up getting hurt. 🙁


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:00 pm
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More cons than pros?

Maybe some are pros...


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:00 pm
 emsz
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It's a bit shit really.


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:01 pm
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Played this game for a while, at first it was amazing real monkey sex but for some unfathomable reason she started to develop feelings for me. No idea how as we saw each other maybe once a month. Well that was the end of that. No regrets really but having an emotional attachment to go with the physical side of things is much better.


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:03 pm
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Only possible if you've got more than one on the go IME, otherwise you start thinking about it too much and the other party starts entertaining thoughts that they can keep you all to themselves.
It shouldn't ever be compared to 'relationships', or used as a transitional period: then it's just a dysfunctional one-sided relationship without effective communication. Great way to stay in shape.


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:04 pm
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deadlydarcy - Member
I have always ended up getting hurt when in this situation.

When I had a guy who was a friend with benefits, we both ended up getting hurt.

and then...

Pigface - Member
Played this game for a while, at first it was amazing real monkey sex but for some unfathomable reason he started to develop feelings for me. No idea how as we saw each other maybe once a month. Well that was the end of that. No regrets really but having an emotional attachment to go with the physical side of things is much better.

So sad. So very, very sad.

🙁


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:04 pm
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wrecker - Member

It's a good way to lose a friend IME.

^^this too.


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:05 pm
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Sleepless night after sleepless night... 😐


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:05 pm
 emsz
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Deadly and piggy sitting in a tree.... 😆

Jamie, loving your work Hun xx


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:06 pm
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I just can't help thinking about it too much - not for me.

Then again, I'm not a jump-in-the-sack-on-first-date kinda girl either so maybe there's a connection?

Rachel


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:06 pm
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Deadly and piggy sitting in a tree....

We've talked about it, but the distance and height differences were too hard to get past. 🙁


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:07 pm
 emsz
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Yeah Rach easy to say, but y'know...legs, lips...hard to say no


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:09 pm
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Rach and Emsz, sitting in a tree...

😉


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:09 pm
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Ha ha - you might have a point, emsz - maybe I've just not met the right woman yet!! (although, as it happens, I think I might have - in Norwich of all places!)

Rachel


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:10 pm
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This thread is useless without pics...........


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:11 pm
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adjustablewench - Member
Ha ha - is that why your called pic n mix?!

Haha 😉


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:11 pm
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[i]Yes it can be great. It can also be awful. On the [s]w[/s]hole I would[s]n't[/s] recommend it.[/i]

To some degree.


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:11 pm
 emsz
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Has she got a friend?

I seriously need to have a word with myself

**** off flashy 😆


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:14 pm
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Flashman is just jealous 😆


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:17 pm
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Norwich?

Rach, be careful. That there is bandit country. Bad shit happens up there, trust me on that.


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:19 pm
 emsz
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Of you and deadly? I think he's always had a soft spot for him, maybe he wants to say something to everyone?


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:19 pm
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emsz - your pic on here might have something to do with it.....


 
Posted : 28/08/2013 2:21 pm
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