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[Closed] Friend leaves wife - what would you do?

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Don't know what to think about this - a guy I've known for about 5 years, my martial arts instructor, left his wife on Boxing Day. Two kids, with a third on the way, he's now seeing someone else. He told me last week, but it's all been kicking off on FB as he posted a pic of him and his new woman.

It's a huge surprise really - always seemed a pretty decent guy, and I know there's always two sides to a story, but I can't stop thinking about his poor kids. Equally, I know it's none of my business and such things happen all the time.

Selfishly, he's a good instructor and I want to keep going to the classes. Say nothing?


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 2:01 am
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Equally, I know it's none of my business

This


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 2:05 am
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Keep going, sneak in a few "accidental" groin kicks if you still think he is a bastard after some time has passed.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 2:09 am
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[quote=mikewsmith ]Equally, I know it's none of my business
This
+1


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 2:11 am
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It's a huge surprise really - always seemed a pretty decent guy, and I know there's always two sides to a story, but I can't stop thinking about his poor [s]kids[/s] wife in need of some comfort

Sorry, had to be done ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 2:23 am
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Keep going to the class if he asks your opinion then give it ...otherwise keep quiet.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 2:34 am
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Shit happens, get over it. It's happened to more of my friends than I care to think about, including my brother after twenty five years of marriage.
None of your business, unless you really have the hots for his missus. Commiserate, and let them sort themselves out.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 2:38 am
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Aye, good advice, cheers.

Sorry, had to be done

I also have wife (well, almost) and kid ๐Ÿ˜‰

Does make me feel very, very lucky though.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 2:38 am
 hora
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Nice looking after his responsibilities and acting like a kid himself.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 7:22 am
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If he's an instructor and knows you are around his 'missus' you may end up with nastily parted sprouts. So best stay away.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 10:46 am
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mikewsmith ยป Equally, I know it's none of my business
This
+1

+2


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 10:50 am
 DrJ
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I know there's always two sides to a story, .... Equally, I know it's none of my business and such things happen all the time.

Seems like you know what to do already.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 10:54 am
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You don't know the full story, obviously, but he sounds like a w.a.n.k.e.r.

If you do know the Wife just make sure she knows your thinking of them (as a family).

Neither do you, so why bad mouth him.

Someone I know left his wife x2 kids after he found out neither kids were his. His wife had been getting biffed by some else.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 11:00 am
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Seems instructor is not your mate so best leave alone; might want to switch clubs if you can't stand him now though.

Bit of a tangent but everyone seems to know that one of the long term members in my road club isn't faithful but we all assume that everyone knows then so must his wife.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 11:09 am
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He might be a cock but he might have other reasons to why he left.
We have no idea what goes on in other people houses.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 11:14 am
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He's a good instructor, you visit him because of his skills in instructing you. His private life isn't your business and you probably don't know the half of it.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 11:27 am
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Selfishly, he's a good instructor and I want to keep going to the classes. Say nothing?

Do you know him and his family outside of the martial arts class? If not, then why worry?

As ^^^ it's none of your business.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 11:29 am
 hora
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Kick the shit out of him.

If he wins it proves that hes not a very good instructor ๐Ÿ˜†


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 2:55 pm
 DezB
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I judge those who have judged the bloke that they know nothing about to be cocks of the highest order.
And if you can't see what I did there then I'm right.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 3:19 pm
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Kick the shit out of him.

If he wins it proves that hes not a very good instructor

Good logic ๐Ÿ™‚

His kids are fantastic wee things - no matter who's at fault, I just feel very sad for them.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 4:13 pm
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No chance he might read this? That'd be weird! ๐Ÿ™‚


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 4:15 pm
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bencooper - Member
His kids are fantastic wee things - no matter who's at fault, I just feel very sad for them.

In the long run it may be better for them this way.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 4:17 pm
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Two people staying together 'for the sake of the children' does more harm than good imho.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 5:13 pm
 DezB
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[i]I just feel very sad for them[/i]

I bet he feels a infinite amount worse than you do.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 5:19 pm
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He may be seeing someone else, but his brain will be split at the moment. The thought of new fluffy gusset is a bonus, but in the cold light of day in a month or two, it may still strike home what he has left behind. The last thing his missus is going to have on her mind is to shack up with someone else for now either. If you have feelings towards her and lets be honest to also take on 3 kids of his is a brave thing to also consider, then I would stay away for a long while yet. He doesn't want to walk into 'his' marital house to find you munching from his porridge bowl, if he changes his mind.........


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 5:26 pm
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Bang her! /Familyguy


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 5:26 pm
 JCL
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I'm up for a change. Any pics of the wife?


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 5:28 pm
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Listen


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 5:29 pm
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If you have feelings towards her and lets be honest to also take on 3 kids of his is a brave thing to also consider, then I would stay away for a long while yet. He doesn't want to walk into 'his' marital house to find you munching from his porridge bowl, if he changes his mind.........

Wow. Um. I'm very happily with someone else, but interesting how you came to the conclusion that I was interested in his wife ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 5:30 pm
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Mate of mine years ago left his wife (as he calls her "wife number one") for another woman. For some strange reason he wasn't too thrilled when she started dating again. He should have a fun life but she shouldn't? ๐Ÿ˜•


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 5:31 pm
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AdamW yeah its odd isnt it?
my first wife left me because she met a 'millionaire' on the internet, yet was decidedly unimpressed when i met someone else the following year.
i reckon she thought she could change her mind anytime.
OP: i wouldnt worry about it, keep using your instructor, nothing selfish about that imo.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 5:53 pm
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Op (et al), sorry for my flippant & insensitive post.
I hope things work out as best as they can for all involved.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 7:37 pm
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We have no idea what goes on in other people houses.

I dunno, I see most things with the new night vision binoculars I got for Christmas.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 9:57 pm
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I dunno, I see most things with the new night vision binoculars I got for Christmas.

[img] [/img]

๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 10:25 pm
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If the kid on the way (and the others) is his then he has behaved pretty badly.

The problem with Facebook etc. is that it allows acquaintances access to details that should really be restricted to close family - would you even know about this without FB?

Google+ Circles is a better way of social networking as it allows some granularity.

Unless he wants to discuss it with you I would not mention it and just keep things on an instructor/student basis.


 
Posted : 05/01/2014 10:46 pm
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He told me privately before it appeared on FB. But yes, I agree - FB is really not the place for such things.


 
Posted : 06/01/2014 1:08 am
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bencooper - Member

He told me privately before it appeared on FB. But yes, I agree - FB is really not the place for [s]such[/s] most things.


FTFY


 
Posted : 06/01/2014 1:20 am