[Closed] Ever tempted to, umm, "play away from home"?

That his sheafed weapon had only slain one woman

Bit of a corny line there, Hora.

Ever tempted to, umm, "play away from home"?

umm yes, its Summer. If your not then you are a girlyman

Blimey, Hora's on top form today. 😆

Its a Friday, MC Hammers on the radio and its almost hometime!

Its a Friday, MC Hammers on the radio and its almost [s]hometime![/s] hammertime

Nothing like MC hammer to get those loins stirring in time for the weekend

5 minutes of pleasure (with foreplay)...a lifetime of remorse.

"You can't touch this"
"Oh, ok you can"
"No?"
"Oh please"

BigDummy - Member

regardless of how you shower

I'm not sure you're doing showering quite right.

You can always use this? Yes? Takes away fishy smell or use a two pence copper coin ... 😆

[img] [/img]

I have no luck whatsoever with the female species after my ex ... hmmm ... 😯

Mrs Monkeysfeet (married 16 yrs) often asks if I would ever have an affair. My reply " I couldn't be arsed" 😀

One of my GF's mates once asked if I ever fancied/did anything untoward with any of the young student ladies we got coming to the University canoe club I coach.

I pointed out that as a slightly overweight, bearded, ugly bloke in his 30s, if any attractive, nubile teenage girl were to proposition me, I'd probably be laughing so hard I'd be unable to accept.

Just popped in to see if Hora's stream of barely consciousness has come up with any new gems. He has too, priceless. He's like a beta tester for thoughts! 🙂

hora - Member
Look on the bright side OP. Theres always the internet. It makes us men like Hamsters running round a wheel...

I have [i]NO IDEA[/i] what this means...

Mrs Monkeysfeet (married 16 yrs) often asks if I would ever have an affair. My reply " I couldn't be arsed"

Damn right. Imagine being harassed, insulted and moaned at by TWO wives. I sometimes ask my Muslim customers how they have the strength.

Seems like there are a lot of reasons not to, and only one reason to do it.

True, depends how hot the one reason is.

Mr Woppit. Look at the pic I posted it against. 2+2? Oh give up. Its like having Sheldon Cooper from a Comprehensive school 🙄

Mmmmm, yeah - Hora describing himself as a "geezer" is a massive turn on 😆

True, depends how hot the one reason is.

Wow, didn't expect this many responses. And feel especially honoured to receive the wisdom and advice of hora.

I'm questioning if I did the right thing after all after his input.

(I'm not really BTW. But happy to add "comprehensive school Sheldon Cooper" to my list of insults)

I must admit that all thoughts of my wife and marital harmony went straight out of the window today when this vision of gorgeousness got out of her car at the petrol garage and walked past me 10 mins with her would have been worth a lifetime of regret!

Oi, stop ogling my mum!

mahogany is hard.... harder than monogamy.

often wondered whether we are cut out for the one partner thing.

it's summer now, 31°C in town today. my ride home from work gets longer the hotter it gets. a ride a long the river is a must.

Too much to loose so not worth the risk for me. Women go nuts in these situations.

I occasionally pay for a professional 'massage' when the hand in under performing.

[quote=monkeysfeet said]Mrs Monkeysfeet (married 16 yrs) often asks if I would ever have an affair. My reply " I couldn't be arsed"

often ? 😮

What's her answer when you ask her ?

Lucky that a great friend gave me ten great tips to ensure happiness in life a long time ago. The seventh was in the OPs situation clearly don't/avoid. Seeing the misery that is involved when that simple guide is ignored makes me thankful to have such a good friend who gives such simple, sound advice.

If you do just make sure the wife is agreeable, someones got to hold the video camera.

often ?

What's her answer when you ask her ?

I work away from home, plus the fact I look like a greek god means she often worries 😆

(only joking, it has come up in conversation from time to time. Often was perhaps the wrong word)

We went out the other day for a pub lunch. Waitress was very friendly to both my wife and I (married 15 years). Plenty of joking going on between us all, good friendly chatter, it was a good meal. At the end of the meal I went to pay the bill and the waitress, who I should point out was mid-twenties and very attractive, I'm late fourties, balding, glass bottle bottom glasses, bad teeth etc... had a bit of a joke with me, took my money and everything and then handed me a card upon which she'd written her name and mobile number and told me I could call her if I wanted to.

Obviously I crapped myself. That card was two weeks of arguments and despite the fleeting thought of mmmmmmmmm!, I now had to get rid of it, sharpish. Which I managed to do with a subtle sleight of hand flick into the bin outside. Phew!

It's exciting and very flattering but simply not worth the hassle.

Samuri, you don't need a fanny magnet, you are one!

Never tempted. Too much too put at risk with a wife I love and children that are amazing (to me at least.). Also my loyalty, fidelity and integrity is part of who I am and who I want to be.

I also think that already having what is for me a fulfilling physical relationship also helps...

Also my loyalty, fidelity and integrity is part of who I am and who I want to be.

Samuri.

That was a test set up by your Wife.

You failed BTW. 🙂

Look, don't touch.
Just because you drive a FIAT, it doesn't mean you can't flip through the Ferrari catalogue now and then.

Just read all this.
In tears now.

Top work everyone.

Why not take the Tony Bliar approach? Do terrible stuff then wash away all your sins in confession.

Why not shoot first-ask questions later.

Everyone hates the twunt now, that's why not.

My advice would be to stay away from scoring between the gammon goalposts. Not worth the hastle.

I do believe edward2000 has just regained his title!

hora - Member
Mr Woppit. Look at the pic I posted it against. 2+2? Oh give up. Its like having Sheldon Cooper from a Comprehensive school

So sorry, couldn't find a "self-deprecatory ironic wink" emoticon.

Please forgive me.

On a serious note. Especially in hot weather- I want to fight or shag everything in sight still. Im only 42. Surely others still feel the same or am I now classed as a dirty old git?

Or mid life crisis?

On a serious note. Especially in hot weather- I want to fight or shag everything in sight still.

What happens in B&Q when you pop in for a bit of decking; do you punch the clematis or bugger a parasol?

What happens in B&Q when you pop in for a bit of decking; do you punch the clematis or bugger a parasol?

You should never punch a lady's clematis; tickly perhaps or just stare confusedly..

Walking into a bar. Its like the bar scene in Terminator. I scan and guage every female automatically. Any bloke who lies about this is lying or scared of their other half/to relax.

Are you on some kind of register?

No but are you? My behaviour is normal. Are you a deviant?

I'm with Hora here, good looking women in the bar are the first thing you notice. Even having an other half, nothing wrong with having a good gawp, or even a quick chat and flirt with an attractive lady.

Totally different from already being married yet still trying to slyly slip one inside her sweaty sausage pocket!

Hmmm, well I was mostly concerned by his phraseology.

Walking into a bar. Its like the bar scene in Terminator. I scan and guage every female automatically. Any bloke who lies about this is lying or scared of their other half/to relax.

Yup, I thought it was normal tbh.

What do you do, if the person making the offer of playing away is someone you get on better with than who you are currently with?

hora - Member
On a serious note. Especially in hot weather- I want to fight or shag everything in sight still. Im only 42. Surely others still feel the same or am I now classed as a dirty old git?
Or mid life crisis?

WTF...? Really...? Are you a Bonobo chimp in human disguise...?

Play away from home? I don't even get on the list for a local home match being a minger of a lass!
Caz xxx

hora - Member
Walking into a bar. Its like the bar scene in Terminator. I scan and guage every female automatically. Any bloke who lies about this is lying or scared of their other half/to relax.

Nope and nope. I don't need to shore up my feelings of masculinity by scanning every area for hot women...

Play away from home? I don't even get on the list for a local home match being a minger of a lass!
Caz xxx

I'd give you a trial in the first reserves 🙂

hora - Member
Walking into a bar. Its like the bar scene in Terminator. I scan and guage every female automatically.

Hora

We all know that this is untrue, and that on entering a bar, all the ladies in there just throw themselves at your feet.
🙂

What if it was just a kiss? Is that still cheating?

I'd give you a trial in the first reserves

..is the most awful thing I've read, ever.

Tempted of course, I'm a bloke but never try to. I made a whole load of promises to my best mate when I married her I reckon she'd be pissed off if I did.

hora - Member
Walking into a bar. Its like the bar scene in Terminator. I scan and guage every female automatically.

When I walk into a bar I look to see what beers they have on.

What if it was just a kiss? Is that still cheating?

WTF...? Really...? Are you a Bonobo chimp in human disguise...?

We all are. Or at least very closely related to them.

Males are visual creatures, that's why females have more visual bits than men.

Women are nowhere near as visual, although being a handsome bastard helps, they are, even they don't know it, are looking for someone to protect them and their children and fetch regular dead animals for them to eat.

All hetrosexual men ogle attractive women. If you don't you are the deviant!