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...and everybody else has naffed off to the pub and left you?
I turned 56 yesterday and it was the most joyless birthday I've ever had. My life feels empty at the moment, my wife dislikes intimacy, she won't go anywhere that involves culture or mental effort, my teenage son is of course a joy to me but he doesn't want to do anything other than play on his laptop and text his pals. I have no hobbies or interests, work is stressing the hell out of me, I'm royally hacked off and can't see any way out of the rut. The only pleasure I have is cycling once or twice a week, even my best mate and drinking buddy has moved to Leeds so my regular Thursday night pint and a good moan have come to an end.
Tell me this is normal for a bloke at the end of middle age!
I certainly hope it's not normal. Not sure what advice to give. No offence but s typical of your post-ride chat?
Sounds normal to me 🙁
Organise rides with randoms off here - thats what I do fairly regularly. Some times you end up making real friends, sometimes you just go out for a spin with some oddballs.
find a local mountain bike club and get yourself some new drinking and riding mates.
oh, and MTFU.
Dave
Be happy - you've put this total despair off for 27 years longer than I have!
sounds a bit like me only I'm younger and cannot even ride a bike!!
Jesus, I feel better already, thanks!
No.
A mate of mine was told a couple of days ago he has <12months to live with terminal cancer...
My life is a ****ing breeze compared to his.
, work is stressing the hell out of me, I'm royally hacked off and can't see any way out of the rut
there is your answer - take whatever steps you need to to stop work from stressing you out. I guess thats the source of the rest of the issues. stress is so damaging and its insidious in its effects
This is not quite a MTFU, but sometimes [b]you[/b] need to force change.
Enthusiasm is infectious.
you clearly need a new bike.
at the end of the day, your bike will always be there with unconditional hugs.
the more bikes you have, the more hugs you get!
You're a long time dead. Find something that you enjoy doing, and do it.
brakes, if you ever go into politics let me know.
I'll vote for you. I'll even deliver leaflets.
Kill yourself? That would end all of your an subsequently our collective suffering.
Teej is right.......organise a monthly ride with folk off here.
we are sociable animal us humans....we love meeting likeminded people and talking boolax.
and who knows you may even like it.
[i]Kill yourself? That would end all of your an subsequently our collective suffering.[/i]
See, just when you thought things couldn't get any more miserable a complete stranger comes along and gives you a metaphorical knee in the gonads.
This forum needs a ride forum for definite. It surely has to be one of the reasons it exists.
I have no hobbies or interests
What, so you just randomly hang around MTB forums and you don't even ride? 😀
Sounds to me like you need a change. I think you need to open up a dialogue with the mrs though, that sounds like a pretty crap situation. Relate maybe?
Thanks for the suggestions; I belong to a local mountain bike club and sometimes go for road rides with people from Cycle Chat, which is always entertaining.
Have you (and your wife) thought of trying relationship (or sex) counselling with Relate? (Edit: as suggested by Woody above!)
56,the end of middle-age, never thought of it like that.'ang on----56-that's me!
So what am I now-I can't be old can I?
See, just when you thought things couldn't get any more miserable a complete stranger comes along and gives you a metaphorical knee in the gonads.
I'm just telling him what he really wants to hear.
Yes, but I don't think Relate would be able to do anything about her neuroses.
Gonna be barred by the work server at 1.30, not back until after 5.30 so thanks again for suggestions....
[i]I'm just telling him what he really wants to hear. [/i]
and you'd stand at the bottom of the multi-storey shouting "Jump!" at the bloke stood at the top?
(not suggesting that the OP is in this position)
I turned 21 yesterday sat at home alone...
😯
I don't think it's age-related necessarily - I felt like that one birthday and I was in my mid 20s at the time. But as others have said, whilst your situation may not be of your own making, you're the only one who can change it. Organising bike rides with new people and marriage counselling sound like good suggestions to me.
Sorry to hear your woes but the very fact that you enjoy riding puts you well ahead of about 95% of the population in the achieving and satisfaction stakes in my book.
mrdestructo - MemberThis forum needs a ride forum for definite. It surely has to be one of the reasons it exists.
[img] https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRADfDcPc5kWgupoAhCGBARQ3gF07-SxHfMl9yVeBOj9sxjREyCqQ [/img]
ton - MemberTeej is right.......organise a monthly ride with folk off here.
we are sociable animal us humans....we love meeting likeminded people and talking boolax.
and who knows you may even like it.
You could end up with oddities like this tho :-0
[img][url= http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7088/6886573846_5daceeaea5_b.jp g" target="_blank">
blue handlebar tape and clashing 😯 blue gloves 😯
that is odd.
mrdestructo - Member
This forum needs a ride forum for definite. It surely has to be one of the reasons it exists.
Good idea them two .....
🙂
and you'd stand at the bottom of the multi-storey shouting "Jump!" at the bloke stood at the top?
I don't think that a man threatening to jump of a building is quite the same as a man bemoaning his wife and child now is it?
Where abouts do you live OP?
Lets get a ride organised, with minimum requirement of at least 2 pints and a bag of chips following it...
scud - Member
Where abouts do you live OP?Lets get a ride organised, with minimum requirement of at least 2 pints and a bag of chips following it...
+1
He's in the Ribble Valley somewhere.
Fatbike = sorted
HTH
There's always another way.......
[img] http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRkoWOe9pU8aHn3nj4ke8EJgVjyr8tf0QIuM4p_W-bmDhRwKC5OUg [/img]
I have a Mr Morrisey on the phone who would like to write some songs with you.
"so you go for a ride on your own,the pub on your own,you go home and you cry and you want to die".
Sometimes I love a solo ride. Try to end up on epsom downs for a sunset, break out the iPod, Great Gig In The Sky and the worlds alright by me.
Ever felt you're ploughing a furrow alone in a big field....?
All the time, and I've got 20 years on you (not that it makes any difference) My mate buggered of to OZ, each birthday feels less and less special,I find it really hard to make new friends, I feel like I'm getting grumpier and less tolerant by the day. My wife is great but I'd be lieing if there weren't days I could happily bugger off and leave her to her own devices. I'm even known at work for being a ranter and a moaner.......sorry, i'm not sure where I'm going with this.
oh yeah, the bike, the bike is like a garage based beacon of hope, I've been out 3 times this week and every time has been a delight (even todays muddy escapade where it felt like I had on slicks) Also I'm taking a fresh interest in skateboarding and may take the plunge at some point (hopefully not literally)
I know this will sound harsh, but do you maybe need to re-evaluate your marriage, maybe a break is what you (and I mean you) need, sometimes you have to be selfish for your own health.
You're looking in the wrong direction.
The problem is not your age.
The problem is not your wife.
The problem is not your son.
The problem is not your job.
Look in the mirror; there's the problem.
It's all about you and [b]your[/b] attitude to [b]your[/b] life.
How do I know? Cos 5 years ago, that was me.
I ended up running off with a younger woman, then ran off from her too. I ended up living in a single room with my clothes in bin bags, crying myself to sleep, and taking anti-depressants and alcohol in large quantities. Not big, not clever.
Go and see your GP, tell her/him how you feel.
OP, sounds about right (though not the wife thing), add in unemployment to the mix and it can be right depressing.
arranging rides with fellow local stwers, yer having a laugh. Tried no end, either never reply to emails or come up with the most useless excuses as to why they can't/don't want to ride. I've come to the conclusion that over half the people on here don't actually have bikes.
Do you do any road riding? Find a local club and join, you might be surprised how big the group rides can be, and you could meet some great people this way.
What did you do as a kid that you found enjoying? Chances are you'll still enjoy that.
It is easy for me at 23 and a student to say the above, but you never know..
Play this...once a week
Many people dread middle age and for some it can be a re-evaluation of their life ... and future. Time to take stock, as it were.
We know that we'll have to work harder at our riding, more prone to injuries and the speed at which they heal, or refuse to.
Present economy is causing intolerable stress on many people and it ain't gonna change any time soon.
Then we come to marriage. People change. People don't change. People won't change. Take your pick. You both need to do something about it, for example try Relate for counselling.
Doing nothing is [b]not[/b] an option.
Good luck.
I ended up running off with a younger woman, then ran off from her too. I ended up living in a single room with my clothes in bin bags, crying myself to sleep, and taking anti-depressants and alcohol in large quantities.
Sounds OK to me 😀